Communication goes a long way. If you’re busy, say it. If you’re upset, express it. If you’re late, let people know. If you’re unsure, ask. It’s so simple but so important.

if i look back, i am lost
we're not kids anymore.
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Communication goes a long way. If you’re busy, say it. If you’re upset, express it. If you’re late, let people know. If you’re unsure, ask. It’s so simple but so important.

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When someone toxic needs a friend
I just wanna add a little personal reflection to the discussion of Spinel’s treatment in Steven Universe: The Movie.
A few signposts so you know where I’m starting with this:
A criticism I’ve seen:
Steven was not particularly warm to Spinel. He did not hug her. He did not offer to be her friend. He spoke carelessly and triggered her toward becoming murderous again. He only cared about what she could do for him.
A perspective I’ve seen:
LOTS of people with borderline personality disorder or strong feelings about abandonment personally relate to Spinel and are critical of Steven from this perspective.
Rebecca Sugar’s commentary on Spinel:
The thing about Spinel is that she’s a really toxic person.
She’s so toxic that she’s literally trying to poison people.
In my interactions with friends who have had a history difficult enough to make it hard for them to trust other people and sometimes even actively want to hurt others, it’s just a very difficult situation to navigate. In the case of Spinel and all of these characters, that’s extremely exaggerated because cartoons have the ability to be extreme exaggerations. I wanted to explore what it’s like when you’re trying to help someone who really doesn’t want to help themselves, who wants to embody the negative feelings that they have about themselves. I think that’s something really real. I hadn’t seen that in a cartoon before.
Spinel, unlike many other characters, actually has the goal of hurting people, which is new territory for the show. She really wants to hurt Steven, and there’s a reason that she does—because she’s in so much pain. I just wanted to explore all the dimensions of that.
I also think Steven has his way of trying to handle and dissolve conflict. It’s not necessarily a good way for him to handle this situation. It really leaves him in a difficult state, and I think what I wanted to show in the way that they interact is that at a certain point, when you can’t help someone, you have to be able to protect yourself.
Ultimately, he can’t really convince her to change. It’s something she’ll have to want for herself. But what he can do is protect himself from her, making it impossible for her to hurt him.
It’s sort of up to you if you would like to love her. If you watch this movie and she, you know, frustrates you, that is totally fair. I want that to be a big part of who she is.
[From the AV Club interview]
So here are a few things I want to shed light on.
It’s very interesting that Rebecca intended Spinel to be read as “a toxic person” because so many fans fell in love with her, said they’d be her friend, hated intensely on Pink Diamond because of what she did to abandon the poor Gem, and sympathized with her directly. But Rebecca was looking at Spinel from Steven’s perspective. And that’s also what I did.
I’ve been Steven. I have VERY much been Steven.
When you meet someone who was done dirty, when you recognize the horror they’ve been through, when you see how much pain they are in and agree they have the right to be angry, it’s natural for empathetic people to offer themselves as comfort.
But when you’re Steven, you also know it isn’t YOUR fault either. Before you have the ability and experience to set boundaries, you can get sucked into other people’s stormy waters and think you’re helping if you drown in solidarity with them. What’s really important to preserving yourself is learning that you can stand on the boat and toss a life preserver. That it doesn’t ACTUALLY HELP to jump in the water and sink with them.
Some folks are angry that Steven didn’t jump right into sacrifice himself on the altar of friendship in the service of an intense, literally murderous stranger who tried to poison him and his planet and lash out at his friends, robbing them of their rich pasts and their relationships because all of it hurt HER so much. It is SO easy to understand WHY SPINEL WAS ANGRY. But nothing she was doing to Steven, his friends, or the Earth was going to fix her problems, and furthermore, she FULLY UNDERSTOOD that it was NOT THE FAULT of any of the people she took her anger out on. It was irrational, yes, and that is part of her dysfunction. But also, in these situations, what helps explain it still does not excuse it.
Some have railed at Steven saying he somehow forgave genocidal tyrants like the Diamonds but couldn’t be friends with a damaged Gem like Spinel who just wanted friendship. The big difference there is that Steven got involved with the Diamonds when both parties believed he was a different person. The Diamonds believed he was the lost Pink Diamond, and Steven has also spent much of his superhero life believing he WAS his mother and was therefore obligated to accept punishment for her crimes or to clean up the messes she made. Now that he knows he is not her and that she did some pretty horrible stuff, he also wants the right to stop feeling responsible for every person Pink hurt in the entire region of space.
Steven gave Spinel basically compassionate treatment. He did not abuse her. He did not insult her. He occasionally coddled her when it seemed important (and though some said he was too businesslike while he pursued his mission, he was literally looking at the world ending within two days if he didn’t solve the problem). And most importantly … .
He let her leave the garden.
Spinel stayed in the garden all those millennia because Pink Diamond told her they were playing a game. All that time, she had visions of Pink returning so she could see her smile, hear her laughter. We see a sequence where she tried to follow Pink out of the garden and Pink manipulated her into staying willingly. We watch those feet leaving and one pair of feet staying behind. We see Pink disappear.
When Steven goes to leave the garden, Spinel follows in the same manner. Some have criticized him for letting go of her hands.
But he invited her out of the garden. He didn’t say stay. He said come with me.
As he sang about her deserving someone better, he was sincere. But he did not say the person to make her feel found should be him. He did not want to take on another person with thousands of years of baggage who would require a specific brand of attention and so much tenderness to avoid snapping. He did not allow her to be held by the hand and led out. He recognized that she needed encouragement to leave this place because of what was done to her, but he wanted her to take the steps.
Compassionate people are crushed all the time under the weight of needy people who make it hurt to love. People like Steven can acknowledge that Spinel deserves love and deserves to be happy without accepting that it’s heartless to stop short of personally doing it. Especially when you literally have to take physical, mental, and emotional damage as a general consequence of offering support and counseling. It is sometimes just beyond what you can do.
I made the mistake several times of getting very close to someone who treated me poorly while taking comfort in my presence. I cared that they were hurt and I didn’t know how to say “You deserve love” without stepping in and loving them. In EVERY case I was involved with, the person went from initially grateful to “why don’t you help me more?” shockingly quickly, and two of them deliberately tried to create situations where I would be trapped with them and isolated from others.
I could get very personal here but I don’t think I need to. Those of us who relate all too well to Steven wanting to help others will have been in this situation. Your heart hurts for people who live with pain that has never touched you, but when they’ve made it clear with one of their first actions that they feel satisfied at the idea of ruining your life, trusting them could mean the end of you. Especially if they demand that you risk life and limb to fix and save them before you’d dare to call it love, and especially if they want to be fixed without feeling responsible for initiating any of it. Some people mistake suffering for working hard toward a goal. Both can hurt but only one is constructive. If I’m expected to spend extensive resources on someone, I need some partnership in the goal, and I can’t accomplish that with someone whose wish for companionship manifests as “I want you to feel as bad as I do, and will take steps to hurt you so I have someone to cry with.”
Steven risked his actual life while he didn’t have powers so he could go talk to Spinel, and he wouldn’t fight her when she wanted to fight. He protected himself while she spent her anger. He STILL put himself in the line of fire far more than a less compassionate person would. He took time and tenderness to listen to her story and sympathize with her, tell her she deserved better, bear witness to what she’d become after being treated like a discarded plaything, and bring her hope with promises of a new future and a way to feel found.
Sadly, Spinel flipped back to being murderous at the first sign that Steven might be about to prioritize someone other than her, reframing his reasonable needs as if he was planning to abandon her, isolate her, discard her. This was a trauma reaction, yes, and she isn’t entirely to blame for being upset because she was worried she was just being used and none of her actions were logically thought through.
But does someone ever “deserve” the friendship of a specific person who can’t feel warm toward them because of their OWN bad experiences?
No!
Steven has a big heart but he has his very own huge storehouse of trauma, and being physically attacked with his family and planet put in danger over the actions of his mother is at the top of the list. Instead of assuming that the person who has trauma the loudest is the most hurt, can’t we just acknowledge that Spinel’s and Steven’s respective traumas make them NOT the best match for friendship?
The ending of the movie, with Spinel going off with the Diamonds, might seem a little disturbing with all the codepencency floating around there, but if you want to talk about compassion, I think this is a good place for Spinel to start.
She just wanted to make Pink Diamond laugh and enjoy her life. She longed to do that for so long and then it all ended when she found out she would NEVER GET TO DO IT. I think bonding with the other Diamonds and having a familiar, safe place to experience the kind of love she’s used to will be a good FOUNDATION for building herself into a person beyond that. For now, she needs comfort. I hope they treat her well.
I love how many Golden Age “World’s Finest” covers are basically just Superman and Batman taking their adopted son Robin out for fun activities like good supportive parents (though not above a little harmless fun at each other’s expense).
“why bother writing bisexual characters if they just end up in a m/f relationship”
my dude
my guy
my pal
stop talking forever
Oh I have never reblogged faster in my life
Watching my bi friends’ identities get erased when they‘re in m/f relationships makes me think it’s even MORE important to write bi characters in m/f relationships and then be REALLY BLATANT about the fact that one or both of them is bi.

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“It’s not easy to detach from people you’ve had close ties with but sometimes it’s necessary in order to restore your sanity.”
— (via purplebuddhaquotes)
it’s so disturbing to think back and realize the stuff you allowed people to do to you simply because you didn’t respect yourself enough to not let it happen
I really just want to give up.
be so completely yourself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too

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Iron Man: I’m the richest and possess the most advanced technology on the planet
Black Panther:
This post got derailed by racists so fast so let’s do this again
Tony Stark is worth around 12billion; Batman 10billion. Black Panther almost 100 TRILLION. Black Panther can buy Wayne Enterprises and Stark Industries at the same Going Out of Business sale. Tony’s tech has always been decades behind Wakanda technology. That’s why Black Panther’s costume is sleek and form-fitting yet still bulletproof while Tony still has to bulk up his with extra metal. Batman doesn’t even have a bulletproof costume unless it looks like Ironman’s. Plus Wakanda’s current technology was invented by a female and not just any female a Princess. Batman has Fox invent his technology Tony does the best he can while yelling at Pepper. AND Wakandans found the cure for many different types of cancer. They only reason they don’t share with the world is because white greed and insurance companies.
Panther & Co.™ has enough wealth and power to hide a goddamn country from the entire rest of the world. Tony has a gold-plated bow tie and a few fancy bottles of wine.
My husband saw this as I was scrolling down and said “Dude, Black Panther finds Tony Stark’s net worth in his couch cushions when he’s looking for the TV remote. And he’s probably judging the Iron Man suit like ‘oh hey I had one of those I built when I was 6.’”
And I mean, he’s not wrong.
i think the most egregious example of the manic pixie dream girl trope was this play i but I just remembered seeing it, several years ago…
it was about this sad-sack guy driving across the country to try and reunite his old band for one last show
he’s accompanied by this girl who he was in the band with, back in the day… and he was in love with her then, and she’s cool & smart & funny & talks only to him for the entire play, even when the rest of the band joins him on the drive
& at the end of the play it turns out that she was a ghost the whole time, nobody else in the play could see or hear her, & the ‘last show’ he kept referring to is actually going to be her funeral wake bcs she died..
That her ghost had accompanied them on this trip bcs he was grieving & she wanted to help him let go of her…
which, you know, was a surprise & it was really emotional & legit the play was pretty good
But I just started thinking about it randomly…
And I keep being struck by the fact that the play only works if the entire audience is so used to the idea that a female character would literally only speak to the main male character for the entire length of a narrative.
Would only converse with him, interact with him, even when there were other people around.
That even as he talked about what he was doing next, she never discussed their future goals. She never touched any props or anyone other than him.
That nothing she did or said would genuinely have anything to do with herself as a person, except in the context of how he felt about her.
The entire play hinges on the audience not expecting anything hinky about a female character who acts like that,
& most of the audience bought it, hook, line, and sinker.
even I did. there was genuine feeling of surprise in the room
and I just…
A woman can literally be an incorporeal ghost & as long as she is emotionally supportive of a man we see her as a fully realistically person
if that isn’t a sad indictment of how female characters get treated idk what is, honestly
As a college student, currently really hungry with nothing to eat, I understand how hard it can be to get food. Sometimes you really just don’t have the money to eat and when you do, you waste it all on fast food instead of stocking up on cheap things because you’re so tired of Ramen Noodes and canned food you could barf. So, I’ve composed a list of recipes and resources that will fit a college kid’s budget and appetite. Don’t go hungry! <3
Ramen Noodle Recipes:
Ramen Noodle Stir Fry
Sirloin-Snap Pea Stir Fry
Chicken Noodle Soup
Chili Cheese Ramen
Egg Drop Ramen
Spinach and Ramen
Ramen Spaghetti
Ramen Alfredo
Cheesy Ramen Noodles
Mug Meals:
Cheesy Eggs Mug
Cheese and Broccoli Mug
Mac and Cheese in a Mug
Meatloaf in a Mug
Nutella Mug Cake
Cheesecake Mug
Coffee Cup Quiche
Coffee Cup Chilaquiles
Mug Egg Scramble
Microwave Recipes:
Potato Chips
Corn on the cob
Scalloped Potatoes
White Rice
Fried Rice
Baked Potato
Chicken Casserole
Garlic Chicken
Chicken Soup Casserole
Caramelized Onion Baked Potato
Soft Chicken Tacos
Pancakes
Recipe Generators
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Actual College Student Cookbook
Restaurant Coupons [1] [2] [3] [4]
Free Birthday food [1] [2]
Me when I see an unsourced work of art
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM ARE YOU LOST DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!???
Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil
its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies
at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes
FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS
AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT
DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER
FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY *Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe
1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)
1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)
½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.) After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.
^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent
WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!
Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.
Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.
Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.
Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)
Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.
I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.
I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one
But does fabric softener actually do anything

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Y'all…. this shit had me in TEARS 😂😂😂😂 His twitter is: CymereLasean
I.M.P.E.A.C.H.M.E.N.T
WHAT IS THISSSSS
“You can kiss me black ass” 😂😂
yoooo the way I screamed lmao
The backup vocals im screaming 😭😭😭
Where his Grammy at cause this is gold 😂😂👏🏾
I am done😂
Oh hey, <your name, in a friendly cadence>! If you’re an eagle-eyed Twitter follower, you might have heard that I recently had a small surgery done. The good news is that I’m not dead, but the bad news is that American health care is a colossal scam engineered to gouge you for money with an incomprehensible framework of hidden costs and fees. I guess that second part isn’t really news to anyone Anyway, did you know I sell T-shirts, posters, and things?https://www.levelupstudios.com/collections/hejibits I’m by no means in any dire straits and I don’t really like plugging merch, but a little extra scratch would make these health bills an easier pill to swallow (get it, because medicine). Thanks for your understanding! Slightly related: Comics will remain scarce for the time being, as my wrists are *still* in less-than-ideal condition for regular use (but slightly better!). I’m considering physical therapy, but it’s a little (a lot) expensive and none of my Nigerian prince friends are returning my emails I hope you have a healthy day! Love, John