teach you.

the silence isn’t as painfully as she thought it would be. at least he said something, she thinks to herself. something is better than nothing at all, right? even if it really isn’t helpful, even if it doesn’t make her feel much better, at least he didn’t just blow her off. “your stupid ass, idiotic, dumb as fuck brother is the reason i’m alive. i can’t be upset with him.” after everything woojae has done for her, gwen can’t bring herself to harbor any bad feelings toward him even when woobin so clearly hasn’t gotten over it. “everything is different, isn’t it?” she asks, though it’s obvious she doesn’t expect him to answer. they both know it is. nodding, she unbuckles herself and opens the door, waiting for him to make his way over to her before climbing out. “i’m ready to be done with this,” she sighs. “let’s just go.”

“you make me feel better, baby,” she answers automatically. gwen truly believed her injury was the beginning of the end for her and woobin. she was shocked that he’d even shown up to the hospital, much less been by her side every day since then. he just about comes running every time she asks for him, and nothing about that makes sense to her. she’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to get better and him to suddenly disappear, for things to feel so much worse than when he just ignored her. she isn’t sure she can go back to being okay with that now that she knows what it’s like to have his attention. sitting up a little, gwen opens both eyes and angles herself slightly toward him. “yes, woobin. i-- i know everything will be fine, eventually.” her reply lingers in the air. “i’m scared nothing’s gonna be the same, though,” she adds, voice much softer than before. her hand squeezes his again. “things are different, i’m different. i don’t know how to deal with that.”

though the memories from the hospital are fuzzy at best, the one thing gwen recalls clear as day is how upset woobin had been. with her, with woojae, with whoever it was that hurt her. and it was something she never wants to see again. she’s learned her lesson, even if it’s only out of concern for him and not out of self preservation. she doesn’t seem to have much of that. the surprise of him not taking his hand back soon makes way for a warm feeling that spreads quickly though her body. “i’m right big time. i feel the same way, even though you put me through hell most of the time. guess it just works like that,” she concludes, a shrug and a small smile offered in addition. one eye pops open and gwen tilts her head toward him. “do i like myself? or do i know that everything will be fine?”

when he’s done backing out and his hand is back within her reach, gwen grabs it and laces her fingers through his. it’s almost odd, a strange sense of intimacy, but she can’t think of anything else to do besides apologize yet again. honestly, she thinks it calms her more than it does him. “i know. i’m sorry. but everything is fine. everything is going to be fine,” she repeats, using his own words. her hand squeezes his tightly for another few moments before easing up, not pulling away but giving him the option to if that’s what he wants. “simpler, but so much less fun. you like me the way i am.” gwen lets her head fall back against the head rest, eyes shut as she tries to calm her frustration. she knows everything will be fine, but she wants it to be fine now. not in six weeks, not whenever it happens. now. “i know that, too.”

“you didn’t know about that,” gwen points out. “if you had, you probably would’ve locked me in a closet until it was over so i wouldn’t be able to go.” not that it would’ve been the worst idea, in hindsight. “oh come on, you’d be so bored of me if i wasn’t a brat. face it, i make things interesting.” bracing herself on the door, she carefully slides in, smoothing over the fabric of her skirt once she’s fully seated. her fingers rest on the center console and tap nervously. doctors always made her anxious, and the fact that she’s worried her leg will hurt even worse without the cast isn’t helping any. the drumming stops once woobin gets in. “this was supposed to be recovery. things were supposed to be back to normal once i got this off and i was supposed to forget it ever happened.” he’s right, she knows he’s right, but she can’t stand to think that she’s only half way to being independent again.

“aren’t we still us because of how little i listen to you? it’s one of the characterizations of how we are: you tell me to do something and i completely ignore you and do whatever i want anyway.” gwen’s expression mirrors his, smile forming quickly before she has the chance to look away and save a little face. “stop looking at me like that. makes me wanna kiss you and we’re already running late.” but her voice is soft, a giggle punctuating her sentence as they make their way to the car. truthfully, she probably could’ve gotten there on her own, but her arm stays wrapped around woobin’s. “i did. it was so nice, but maybe i should be annoyed because you made it obvious what a slut i am for attention. especially yours.”

hey guys! as you’ve probably noticed, i haven’t been on here much, and i’ve come to the decision that i need to reorganize and move blogs to get away from all the clutter i’ve created. but that’s not gonna happen just yet, so i’m going on hiatus until i can get my shit together and move everything! i’ll be doing some very select threads on here now and then until i make my new blog, but i won’t be around very much. you can catch me over on @stellarkissed for the time being if you’d still like to write with me!!

“i know.” grace pouts back at him. maybe it's because she was pregnant and hormonal, but her need for affection is sky high. she turns onto her side, scooting closer to taemin to kiss his lips softly. “i know you’re making fun of me, but yes. that’s all.” though it doesn’t show through her sleepiness, she’s delighted at the fact that her appointment is so close. “just over a day and a half until we get to see our little raspberry. at least--” a yawn cuts her off for a moment. “at least that’s what it should be the size of, apparently.”

“and you should know me better than to expect me to listen to you when you tell me to get up,” she teases, resting her chin on his shoulder the best she can to bat her lashes at him. “i got ready as fast as i could, but you can’t rush looking good. i’m sure you know all about that.” clinging, her movements are slow and careful as they leave, making sure she’s balanced enough to sustain her own weight should he move away too quickly. one slip too many and she’d learned her lesson. “i have to say, i am a little disappointed that i won’t have a reason to ask you to do things for me now.” and that she won’t have a reason to see him constantly, but she isn’t ready to let that slip yet. at least, not to him.

“do i know when my ultrsound is?” grace repeats, tone incredulous. as if she somehow wouldn’t know. “of course i do! it’s written on the whiteboard on the fridge.” she pulls the covers back so he can slide under, waiting patiently until he’s settled in to snuggle into her husband’s arms. “it’s one day, thirteen hours and maybe 46 minutes from now.”

“i still don’t move that fast!” she yells back, zipping her skirt up before slowly making her way out toward him. “it is unfashionable. let’s see you try to make this thing look good,” gwen mutters as she reaches out to hang onto his arm for stability. “god i’m so fucking excited to get rid of this thing.”

with all her weight on her good foot and one slippery hand clutching onto an equally slippery wall, she’s in no position to try to get woobin to back off, as much as she may want to fight the fact that he just barged in. “lost my balance,” she mutters, frustrated with herself for not recovering faster. gwen brings her other hand to her face, rubbing away the angry tears that are starting to form. she’s never needed to be dependent on anyone’s help in her adult before now and she’s quickly realized that there’s nothing she hates more. as ( scarily ) attentive as woobin has been, she can’t fucking stand the fact that she actually needs all the help he’s offering. “i know it’s okay if i still need help but i don’t want to need help, i can’t fucking do anything for myself and i can’t stand it!” it takes a minute of clumsily grabbing onto him to right herself, still frustrated with the fact that her body isn’t doing what she wants it to. “sorry,” she mumbles. it isn’t his fault she can’t do shit for herself, she has not reason to snap at him. “thank you for coming. can you-- can you just stay until i’m done?” gwen hates swallowing her pride to ask, but she knows she’s lucky that she didn’t hurt herself worse just now.