LunarHearts

A warning for everyone with poppers, and for everyone who is thinking about it. I want to also clarify that I was stupidly unaware and Very irresponsable of its use.

Yesterday, I almost died. I spent the day on the hospital. Poppers CAN CAUSE BLOOD POISONING. And I was not aware of this, nor anything left me know.

Poppers can be used responsibly, of course, but know that it Does affect your blood. Unlike what information out there made me think it didn’t.

I’m someone who’s very afraid of pain, suffering, and death. I don’t have any self harming tendencies, nor depreciative mindset, nor self destructive bad habits per say. Before ever taking poppers I was afraid this could be dangerous, so I read into it and everything led me to think they were safe, that they had No consecuence whatsoever except the vasodilation.

Yesterday I inhaled quite some of a new popper I was gifted in my birthday from an Online page. I inhaled past the signs of dizziness, which I had gotten desensitizes too by always being a bit dizzy (unrelated to poppers).

I had to go to school and I was very, Very dizzy. Couldn’t even walk. But I struggled and did.

When I arrived, my friend pointed out that my lips were blue, and I was beyond pale. My nails were blue and pale too, cold as well. I was dizzy even In my seat, and it wouldn’t go away. Afterwards, I turned yellow and pale, colourless. I got taken to the hospital and, indeed, my blood was poisoned.

I had a dangerously low level of oxigen in my blood. And if I had spent more time like that, it would have reached to affect my heart and brain permanently.

I could have died if I didn’t decide to go to school, cause, sadly, the plan was to stay and keep going, unaware that the dizziness was serious. I would have died in my room.

Obviously at the hospital I had to say what I took, and it had to be in front of people I cared for. Everyone is now mad and angry at me, thinking I tried to kill myself when it wasn’t the case. I feel very misunderstood but honestly I deserve it for being irresponsable, and for promising I would never take poppers to them and breaking the promes.

WHAT POPPERS DID TO ALMOST KILL ME: it substitutes the hemoglobin from your blood for metahemoglobina. The more inhalations you take, the more hemoglobin you start losing, which is what transports the oxigen in your blood, and what causes the speeding of the heart trying to compensate for the lack of it. The less oxigen there is In your blood, the less oxigen reached to ALL your organs, not only your heart. And if an important Los of oxigen prolonged for to long exposed the brain, you can be wounded forever.

I don’t want people to think poppers are harmless and safe, and I don’t want people here desensitizing about this. Because it almost got me killed for getting too used of it. Please, be careful and if you can, avoid them.

On another hand, I did record a heartbeat audio while when I was at my worst loss of oxigen when I was still not aware what I got myself into, since it was beating very vast at rest. I’ll think about posting it maybe. I’ll think about it, since honestly right now I’m depressed.

I’m only saying this because if I knew what I learned yesterday, I would have never taken poppers, and I would have never developed an addiction when wanting my heart speed up.

I was too naive, and I don’t want people to miss this information if they need it to Not take poppers.

Making my heart skip and stumble with pressure

I crave being riled up and then teased for how much my heart’s racing, and being told things like:

• “What’s gotten your heart pounding, hmmm? Be a good girl and tell me.”

• “Someone’s heart’s racing… I can feel it beating against my chest.”

• “92BPM? How adorable, I’ve barely touched you. Let’s see if we can get it into the triple digits.”