☽

No, I’m not ok. But I haven’t been ok since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though. I’m still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough

Self care is not a bath bomb Nor is it a face mask Nor a sweet-smelling lotion Nor a cup of herbal tea Self care is bathing because you lost count of how many days it’s been since you were clean Self care is catching up on three days of work because you don’t know where your brain went from Wednesday through Friday Self care is doing laundry when you can’t remember what’s clean and what’s dirty from the massive pile on the floor Self care is exercising because it’s the only anti-depressant you have Self care is letting yourself cry for the first time in months when you’ve wanted to almost every day Self care is making yourself dinner when you’ve gone all day without eating Self care is taking a deep breath and sorting through what you need to do It doesn’t come from bath and body works or Lush or Ghiradelli It isn’t cutesy or fun It’s relief It’s responsibility

Some people smoke, others drink, and others fall in love, each one dies in a different way.

Kinda just.. empty atm. life goes on, got things happening. But still empty.

I try to be normal around you, but the reality is that there is nothing normal about the way you make me feel. I’ve always been level-headed until you walked in and made it impossible for me to stand on my own at the sight of you. There’s a small handful of unforgivable things that I’d rather do than to let someone take me whole. But here I am, at the tip of your fingertips, shamelessly begging you to bring me in. And I pray that your embrace will never find its way undone.

"The sad truth is I put you ahead of everyone else, while you would leave me to be with anyone else."