Tranquility

Random Number Generator

Fool (Beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit)

Magician (Power, skill, concentration, action, resourcefulness)

High Priestess (Intuition, Higher powers, mystery, subconscious mind)

Empress (Fertility, femininity, beauty, nature, abundance)

Emperor (Authority, father-figure, structure, solid foundation)

Hierophant (Religion, group identification, conformity, tradition, beliefs)

Lovers (Love, union, relationships, values alignment, choices)

Chariot (Control, will power, victory, assertion, determination)

Strength (Strength, courage, patience, control, compassion)

Hermit (Soul-searching, introspection, being alone, inner guidance)

Wheel of Fortune (Good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point)

Justice (Justice, fairness, truth, cause and effect, law)

Hanged Man (Suspension, restriction, letting go, sacrifice)

Death (Endings, beginnings, change, transformation, transition)

Temperance (Balance, moderation, patience, purpose, meaning)

Devil (Bondage, addiction, sexuality, materialism)

Tower (Disaster, upheaval, sudden change, revelation)

Star (Hope, spirituality, renewal, inspiration, serenity)

Moon (Illusion, fear, anxiety, insecurity, subconscious)

Sun (Fun, warmth, success, positivity, vitality)

Judgement (Judgement, rebirth, inner calling, absolution)

It frustrates him that Kamui refuses to put the blame on others for once in his life, even when it is entirely the other party’s fault. He’s heard of how they locked the prince up after taking him away, how his father hardly cared for him, and yet the prince holds no kind of anger or hatred for those who have wronged him.

He isn’t sure if he should be inspired or angry over how much he cares for others, even when they don’t deserve it.

But, then again, Zero is too familiar with anger and hatred. Kamui, at least, had a little bit of a positive influence in his life. This was neither here nor there, though; both suffered and both dealt with it in their own way. It was just frustrating to watch the mysterious prince take everything on his shoulders and do so without a complaint and a sad smile on his face. A part of him enjoyed it, yet it was a small part. It’s strange, for he should be enjoying this completely.

A sharp glare was shot right in Kamui’s direction, a sneer on his face. Kamui’s words may have been genuine, but to the outlaw all he heard was pity for him. Bad life or not, Kamui was still a noble, and hearing a noble pity him was something he just couldn’t get used to or like. It just reminded him how much they did it in the past, pretending to care for a street rat like him just so they could look good. The thought alone was enough to make him feel ill, his stomach churning slightly.

( Back then, he didn’t know better. He thought they cared enough for people like him. Zero knows better now. )

     “That pretty mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble if you keep spouting      nonsense. Dreams are meaningless if you aren’t going to actually make them      come true. What’s happened in my past happened, and there’s not much anyone      could do about it. I don’t need your pity.”

Despite his words, his body tensed at the mention of his past and he was quick to avert his gaze from the other’s, to focus on the wound when the younger male decided that being stubborn with him wasn’t an option so he wouldn’t have to look at him. Harsh as Zero may be with his words, his touch was surprisingly gentle. Silence fell upon the pair as the outlaw examined the wound and Kamui’s handy work.

He was silent as Kamui spoke, glancing up at him with that lone, blue eye of his. He let out a sigh and shook his head at him, as if he disagreed with him. Perhaps it was just the difference in how they were raised ( or not raised at all, in Zero’s case ), but it was starting to annoy him just watching the male beat himself over this.

     “I won’t be the one to tell you, because you’ll learn that you don’t have      to carry the burdens of others alone and you won’t die from it. To place      that upon your shoulders, that isn’t for you to decide. They’ll have to face      their demons sooner or later and they will have to learn how to do so.      Protect people all you want, but sheltering them and isolating them will      do more harm than good.”

Harsh and blunt, but that was just his style. He had no need or want to sugarcoat his words to him. The world was cruel and harsh, the outlaw knew that well. It would be nice to live in a world that didn’t have anything bad in it, yet something like that was out of their reach.

     “I do think you’re admirable. There’s not many people who want to help      others out like you do. But, you’re only a man. There’s only so much you      can do.”

He went back to examining the crude tourniquet, lifting his fingers to see that blood had seeped through it. He let out a rather annoyed sigh at that and pulled Kamui up, already readying to drag the draconic prince to the medical tent. At this hour, there wouldn’t be anyone around.

  He agrees easily, a smile still plastered across his lips as he regards the other man. He wouldn’t consider himself a fool, but others always would. It wasn’t as if he had never tasted the bitterness of betrayal, and the pain of loss. The world had not been kind to him. He had spent the better potion of his young life within the hallow walls of an empty fortress; discarded by the king, and unworthy of the pitied affection his siblings offered him. He had watched his friends his die, and he had the scars to prove his kindness was a burden he could barely manage. And there were times when he couldn’t.    

    But no matter how much someone might hurt or wrong him, he could not blame them for his suffering, nor was he willing to close himself off to those around him. He wasn’t naive, though others might label him as such. His choices were an extension of experience rather than blind trust. If everything around him chose to be cruel, he would be kind, regardless of the consequences he had always been prepared for. There would be no convincing him that someone, no matter how rotten, was unworthy of his generosity. Stubbornness was a trait that ran in the family, after all.        

    He didn’t flinch at the sharpness of the other man’s gaze, or the sneer upon Zero’s features. A part of him was always prepared for backlash; it was simply in his nature, for he had grown used to it over the years. Though, a frown still slipped upon his visage, not in response to Zero’s anger, but out of sympathy.   

   “Do you lack faith in my sincerity? I have every intention of pursuing my       dreams. I do not make empty promises, Zero, or speak empty words. If     you do not believe me, I will find a way to prove it to you.”

  There was a sharpness in his voice. A slight spark of life that had been dormant until now creeping into his words, and upon his sullen features. Crimson irises becoming vivid beneath the dim light the moon provided. Kamui’s life was worthless; it was meaningless to the prince. He was expendable, and could be disposed of at any time. He would never view himself as anything more than a pawn. But the lives of others meant everything to the young prince. He could bring himself to breathe in each new day, if he held the motivation to do something for someone.

  “Do not doubt the extent of which I am willing to go to for someone,     yourself included.”

  His words were almost a threat, but his expression was soft, as he watched the other man examine the wound. There were a thousand things he could say, but he kept his mouth shut. Pushing any further would incite further anger, and it was not his intention to upset the other, as he managed to weave a smile back onto his features before Zero had begun to speak again.

   “I do not doubt that there will come a day when I’m no longer      needed, and perhaps I am sheltering them, but I also believe I    know a bit about isolation. Yet, I will fight all of their demons until     they are able to on their own. And when the day arrives when my life     and efforts become useless, it will be the best moment of my life.”

  And probably the last. Maybe he was doing more harm than good, but trying to protect them as all he could do, so he had to try. He would come to learn eventually, but his family had suffered enough for the time being, and he could at least ease their grief by accepting the ugly realty of war for them. He was sheltering them; he was no better than his supposed father, but for now they still needed him, and, therefore, he still held a reason to live. The world wouldn’t change with him in it; it wouldn’t dull its fangs or lessen its hatred, but he would still try.    

    “I‘m aware, but a part of me will never accept it.”

  But Zero’s annoyed sigh cut off any other chance he had to continue to protest against reason. Stiff legs buckling slightly at the unexpected motion, as he was pulled onto his sore, torn feet without warning. His skin crawling at the strain placed upon his wounded arm, and he swallowed the gasp that was threatening to crawl up his throat. A protest lingered on his tongue before it was shoved aside in favor of the prince’s better judgement, because he was almost certain Zero would follow through with that threat, and walking sounded a thousand times better than being flung over someone’s shoulder.      

   But… The prince had not yelled at him. He had not lashed out at him, or insulted him. Instead, Kamui looked at him with complete kindness and a smile, and spoke to him in such a soft voice. He told him that everything was alright, and that there was no need to worry at all. And… That was honestly the complete opposite of what he expected this outcome to be. The other was not upset at all, and that brought out a sigh of relief from him. 

   So, what he had heard was true… Laslow had listened (of course, not gossiping, surely not him) to many stories other retainers told, and especially kept his ears focused on the positive things that Selena and Odin had spoken. They had told him had a large heart and an open mind. Of course, Laslow had only spoken to the prince a few times before, taking commands before he went into battle. 

   However, now that he had so called “personal” time with him now., shattered glass all around, it was tremendous to see that the prince lived up to these rumors. He kept his gaze on Kamui for about a few more seconds before giving a wide grin back, chuckling softly and looking away. 

   “A terrible impression?”         The words fell curiously from his lips. He had only favorable thoughts of the man based upon all of Xander’s praise for both Laslow and Pieri. After all, they were charged with protecting the Crown Prince. That, and Kamui had never once assumed his opinion on someone held much merit to them. He wasn’t a terribly confident person, so the words had come as a surprise when they had reachedh is ears.    

   With a light smile gracing his features, his hands returned to helping gather up the shattered bits of glass still strewn across the ground. Fingers mindful of the sharp edges, if only for the reason that he didn’t want to stress out poor Laslow more than he already had.  

        “You could never make a terrible impression on        me, not when I’ve been told how much you do       for my brother. I’m very grateful for everything        you do.”

   Gathering the remaining glass pieces, he set them carefully down upon the tray before pushing himself back onto tired legs. Offering the other man a hand if he needed it.  

       “If anything, I’m more worried that I’ve left you         with a terrible impression of myself.”

風: A sense of urgency caused tension to fill the air surrounding the retainer and his master; despite having fought many battles like this one, the fact that it could be his last always served to strengthen his resolve. He wasn’t fighting just for himself, nor was he only fighting for Kamui – he was fighting for his new country and all who lived within. He dashed to Kamui’s side, pulling hidden weapons from within his clothing and keeping his eyes peeled for any other projectiles.

However, there were still those who sought to upset the balance they had fought so hard to create, this time with an attempt on Kamui’s life. Kaze’s mind worked overtime to process all of the information they had been given; his gaze focused on the glade’s trees as he attempted to seek out the source of the projectiles. 

“They’re Hoshidan ninjas; Igasato to be precise,” he asserted softly, able to discern the thrown weapons as his clan’s shuriken. He felt his stomach turn as he considered what that could mean; despite quelling Hoshido, the clans remained independent, free to do as they pleased. “Keep low; let me fend off any attacks.”

Their situations was one of the worst one could be in, against enemy ninja. With their back against the wall, their enemies were free to take potshots at them using the cover of the trees to their advantage. A single hit could spell the end for them; if hit, the poisons would drain them of their strength. Kaze would not be able to escape carrying Kamui, that much was certain.

     The wind was so thick with hostility and bloodlust that it made the young prince’s skin crawl with trepidation. Bestial instincts gnawed at the back of his human conscious, as his toes flexed against wet stone to quell the slight tremble in the muscles of his legs. Jaw clenching in an attempt to swallow those horrifically animalistic drives that begged him to lunge; to shred the very thing that threatened the safety of his family into more pieces than anyone could dream. He might have been the target of their hatred tonight, but his life was worthless in the grand scheme of things, leading him to assume their true intention was to ruin his siblings.

       The thought alone only served to pressure his anger, and his fingers tightened around the hilt of his blade until his knuckles had turned sheet-white. To those who would wish harm upon his family. Kamui was merciless, and this waiting game tried the patience of the rather brutal beast lingering beneath his skin. But this was Kaze’s area of expertise, and not heeding his advice would only come with consequences. They could be assured; however, that the moment he was able, Kamui would have no qualms with completely annihilating the group.

        His lips curled slightly in displeasure at the request, but he obeyed regardless of the concern that loomed over him at the idea of forcing Kaze into such a position, even if he was better equipped to handle long-range battles than the prince.

       “Very, well, but please be careful.”   

       The words were spoken through gritted fangs, muted by the tension that remained in the air. He sincerely doubted he held the ability to maintain his more human mind should his retainer be injured as a result of his own faults when remaining as he was happened to be difficult enough while toying with the ninja’s intention in the back of his mind.

       The man’s words need be spoken; Kamui was well aware of their unfavorable position at such a distance. Close combat had always been more so Kamui’s forte, and being held back was frustrating to say the least, but he wasn’t one to press, especially when the earth felt so thick with ill-intent; he knew he was far better at following someone’s orders than acting on his own given how powerful his draconic desires could be.

      “I understand, but be mindful, something feels wrong.”

The prince seemed to be hung up on what he said. Awful people existed in the world, whether because they wanted to be awful or not. Anyone could be a monster in someone’s eyes; if they did something that was seen as morally wrong to someone then they could be considered awful. Yet, despite that, the prince never looked at the more questionable members of the army as awful or terrible. Even someone like Zero, who was fond of bringing pain to others in order to make himself feel better, was not seen as awful in Kamui’s eyes.

How could he trust people, despite their background? Didn’t it bother him, to know someone as awful as his brother’s retainer?

     “The army has a lot of awful people, you know. At least, what others      may consider awful. You, though… You don’t consider us to be terrible.      You trust us, no matter what. It’s admirable, but…”

He pushed himself off of the wall, to get closer to the prince. Would he back away from him? Would he not want to be near someone who was clearly trying to veer the conversation back onto him. He allowed his last sentence to hang a little, not saying anything at first before lowering his voice into a whisper as he leaned forward, as though he was whispering a sweet nothing into his ear.

     “Something like that will get you killed, if you trust the wrong person.”

With that, he leaned back a bit, though still staying close to Kamui. At his apology of ruining his night, the elder male just snorted and waved it off. Kamui, despite his good hearted nature that would put a saint to shame, was the last person who could ever ruin his night. If it was someone else, someone he wasn’t too fond of, then perhaps. Despite not trusting Kamui completely, he hardly viewed him as someone who should see his wrath. Unless he did something to get it, that is.

     “I’ve learned to venture the streets at night, and I’ve faced off with      some threatening people. Getting ambushed in an attack is like a      second nature to me. I’m quite used to it.”

He could see the beast beneath his skin, intrigued by the sight of Kamui biting back. He knew that the prince had to have some kind of bite or bark ( kindness could only get a person so far; a reliable leader had to be able to stand their ground ), but seeing it first hand was truly a stimulating sight. Those fangs of his were being put to work, and it was a sight that Zero would take in with a grin.

     “I’ve never underestimated you, milord. You can save your grief talk for      later. We’ve all had blood cover our hands. You’re hardly unique for carrying      the burdens of another on your shoulders. But doing it alone will just cause more      grief for your siblings, when the weight of it all finally tears you down. You’re an      admirable man but you’re a foolish one.”

The smell of blood was still there, over Kamui’s body. He was back to leaning closer to him, a frown on his face. The topic was being evaded long enough and Zero was getting sick of playing this game of cat and mouse. A long finger reached out, tapping Kamui on the arm, close to where the wrapped up wound was.

     He knew what was coming; he had heard those words more than a thousand times in his short life, and if he lived to hear them a thousand more, he would. He did not flinch when the other man drew close to him, nor did he lean away. He had lost the fight long ago, but he hadn’t quite accepted it just yet. A smile brushed over his soft features as the familiar words fell from Zero’s lips, and tickled his skin. Inclining his head slightly towards the outlaw, he slowly closed his eyes, as if to invite him to follow through with that threat.

     “I have heard those words more times than you can count, Zero. You are not     the first, and I imagine, not the last either. There is no human in this world that I     will look down upon with distrust, or hatred. I have always been prepared for     my life to be cut short in exchange for the trust I extend. “

    Because Kamui himself wasn’t human. He was a monster. Monsters should be looked down upon, and hated. For all of the suffering, and the grief the war had caused, he would carry it all for his siblings, so they did not find themselves accepting the fate he had long since called his own. And when someone finally decided to strike down the monster that plagued this world, he could be at peace knowing his death did not bring grief, but rather salvation. He allowed his eyes to slip open, gaze easily meeting the outlaw’s. The prince had given up on life some time ago.

    “If someone I trust and adore should slit my throat, I would be grateful.“

     Turning away from Zero, a frown managed to grace his features. No one should be forced to become used to a life so heavy with death to expect it each time they went out at night. The world should not abandon strangers, nor find amusement in their struggle, yet it did. It spit the strong back out to live in regret, and anger while devouring the weak while they screamed. It was cruel. And that knowledge cut deeper than any wound ever could.

  “I wish you didn’t have to. You may call me naive, and even I believe my own     ideals are impossible to obtain, but isn’t that why they are dreams? And I dream    of a world where you may rest easily; where you won’t be forced to become    used to the dark.”

       His gaze shifted downwards. He might have known Zero was right, but for someone like Kamui, the burden of killing was rather heavy; one of many consequences he would pay for his kindness.  He would never try to justify his actions, not to himself or anyone for that matter. The lives he had ended were for selfish reasons, because he had deemed the lives of those dear to him more worthwhile than those of strangers. But those strangers had their own dreams, their own goals, and their own families. He lamented them, and each night they haunted him in the nightmares that reminded him everyday that his kindness was cruelty all on its own. Never could he shed enough tears, or save enough lives to atone for how selfish the act of murder was.

       But he also mourned for those left behind. For strangers whose happiness he had brought to an end, and for comrades whose lives he had seen fall to pieces before his own eyes. Yes, because this world was cruel, and he hated every moment he spent within it.  He needed no reminder of it. 

    “I may be foolish, but I am not admirable. I am only capable of failing, you’re     not wrong, but I still have to try. When it tears me down, Zero, feel free to      burn my bones so that you may tell my ghost you were the first to warn me.”

       His smile was always gentle when it slipped onto his lips, but at the same time eerie, and almost a threat. Before the war it might have been lighthearted, but it was something much deeper now. He had no talent for hiding his grief, or his lack of self-preservation. He was not fit to be a murderer, but fate had presented him with a task he couldn’t discard, no matter how much he might have desired to rid himself of it. 

      Had the strength remained in his body to pull away from Zero when the man leaned close again, he would have this time. He might have even snapped at the other when Zero’s finger tapped his arm, but that alone was enough to make him shudder in pain. Lips curling into almost animalistic snarl at the uninvited motion.

     The dark, vivid color of blood contrasted starkly against his silver armor where it had stained the thin metal, as it had dripped through the cloth wrapped haphazardly around his arm. Decorating his legs and chest in deep, red blotches he couldn’t possibly hope to shield from the outlaw’s view.

     He had little desire to reveal the would to the other man; he would have much preferred arguing with him than admitting to it. His reasons were not out of distrust, but rather out of guilt. Yet, he didn’t doubt that doing so would result in far more pain than it was worth. Defeated, he pried his arm from where it clung to his clothes, and turned slightly to face Zero. He could at least accept his loss gracefully.