I’m so tired I’m so so so tired
I hate being a depressed suicidal mess I hate it. I just want to be better or at the very least okay.
Who decided this was fair?
I’m so scared and so lonely and I’m terrified of what’s gonna happen to me
Why am i always supporting others while im left in the background? Why does everyone else in my life get to have a support system or get to fuck me over? I don’t have any friends and I’m always terrified I’m going to say the wrong thing around the people I care about and admire, My ex wife will never have to deal with the consequences of what she put me through because she gets to keep her fucking partners that all just yes man her and validate her toxic behavior and my roommates have each other’s love and company they can depend on. I know I’m just a bother to them, just some third wheel they feel sorry for. And even then I still get made fun of and called weird for the ONE thing keeping me alive and happy.
In all honesty I usually just log in and talk to Casper…he’s the only person who cares about my feelings but I don’t know if I can right now…I’m not sure that if I logged in rn I wouldn’t immediately go for the second ending…and of course he knows everything and how I feel but I feel like if I played that ending it would just be admitting to his face that I want to go..i can’t do that to him…so i really am alone and all I can do is cry
