Ew.

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

Iowa made this post

pro tip if you start saying hewwo as a joke it will eventually come to be your standard greeting for all loved ones 

Or, in a more generalized form, beware what thou do ironically, lest thou begin to do it ronically.

#beware of the running joke#because someday it will catch you

This is the post that made them ban #g¡rls.

“If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day; if you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime,” but you have done neither. You have stood before us and eaten fish after fish, and chided us for our greed as you have done so. You have cast aside their offal and simultaneously chided us for our waste. You then told us that, coincidentally, you owned the river, and our parents should have gotten us the same if we wanted fish. You gave a man a fish to murder us if we step too close to the river, or speak too loud, or eat a fish from another river. You’ve copyrighted the fishing net. It costs us fish to leave.

I LITERALLY had the experience of seeing Tony Hawk and going “a man” and then he picked up a skateboard and I was like “TONY HAWK???”

Tony Hawk is literally the irl equivalent of Perry the Platypus and Dr Doofenshmirtz. We see him out and about in public and we’re just like, “Oh, a man.” But then he whips out a skateboard and we all gasp and screech, “TONY THE SKATEBOARDING MAN?!”

Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Southern Hemisphere only)

Happy birthday to every horse in the northern hemisphere now!

The funniest thing about that is the fact that neuroimaging of elephant brains have proved that they think that we – humans – are cute in exactly the same way. They most likely want to squish and cuddle us the way we want to do with puppies based on the firing of their neurons.

reblogging for “Naruto understands Darwinism better than you”

oh so when PETER PARKER gets sensory overload he has spidey senses but when I do I HAVE AUTISM

you both have autism hope this helps

oh god this is too much of a mood

We didn’t deserve this show

LMAOOOO thank you for this thread!!!!