Im just a normal person

Guess it hasn't gotten its legs yet

I dont know who to romance. I want Hemlock but for some reason no one can just be with the elders in any of these games 😒

This new therapist is a student, being supervised obviously. Fresh eyes. New research. Different life perspectives than the 40+ year old people ive talked to. Theyre genuinley around my age. Maybe 2-5 years older.

The difference this has made has been astronomical. A professional that can understand modern struggles, knows the nuances of mental health that have only recently been found due to new research MOST therapists wont keep in touch with.

Unfortunately all this therapists theories (because they cant diagnose where I live) require me to be medicated to see the most impact full changes, but you know what wasnt said? This won't work.

They said that while I navigate getting to see a psychiatrist that they would perform some tests in order to see what kind of therapy would work best, and once I start medication, we would adjust as needed.

No abandonment. No sending me to someone else, goodbye.

A clear and honest opinion, followed by continual support until im able to get to the point I need to be.

Thats the difference between a good therapist and just a therapist.

Apathy and numbness as symptoms are incredibly hard to help with therapy, I knew this going in. I have a BA in psychology. I know im a hard case.

But ive finally found someone who isnt willing to give up on me. Someone who doesnt find my flat affect rude or offensive, but as it is, a symptom. Someone who helps lead because when youre apathetic what is there to discuss? Someone who knows how to actually talk to someone who is not functioning as normal.

Wondering what happened to the teachers who let them open their own snacks and use the washroom on their own.

Unable to connect with peers because no one ever told them that they'll be outcasted for not being able to keep their clothes on for the sake of their feelings.

Isolated from education because those good teaching companies never told them that its unacceptable to hit people and theyre no longer welcome in the classroom. Because its "too mean."

Being stuck in a classroom where you have no autonomy because no one ever taught you that its okay to be nonverbal, theres other ways to communicate (sign language, gestures, ect) because its too hard and others would also have to learn the only language you can use - so you're stuck there unable to tell anyone that youre capable of all the things they wont let you even attempt.

But they dont understand. Theyre not smart. Saying no upsets them.

Isolation and lack of interpersonal connection kills kids. Gone.

But youre more worried about potentially upsetting them by setting boundaries. Sacrificing their entire life because its easier to just enable rather than teach.

Why do I even care so much? The world is dying. It will be dead before I even reach the age of 60.

No one cares about anything, and caring gets you punished.

Being upset is okay. Life isnt going to enable you. You have to learn to cope. How will you learn if you've never been told no? Stunting development of younger generations in fear of all the permissive parents getting upset. We're killing these children.

Permissive parenting is neglect. Saying no to dangerous actions is not abuse. If you say yes to your child doing things that will hurt them, someone else, or set them up for a habit that will send them to prison. You neglected your child.

SO tired.

"We promote independence." Then get staff in trouble for prompting a kid to do something themselves because "theyre disabled just do it for them."

If we teach independence then they wont need the clinical support. Oh no. Not as much money to make

I will never apologize for TEACHING independence.

So I apparently have an honours BA in "not knowing how to support people with developmental disabilities and mental illnesses" and NOT psychology

As well as an 8 month college diploma in "not knowing anything about autism" instead of an accredited co-op program on Autism and Behavioural Therapy I ALSO got honours in.

And lets not forget my "dont know how to playfully engage with people" BA in Dramatic Arts.

And my job as an Educational Assistant that teachers fight over.

3 years at a crisis line that has offered me multiple jobs.

I got fired for not knowing how to support kids. And totally not because im the only trans person at the establishment and had to start interacting with parents.

No that'd be illegal

The food im.. medically supposed to eat? I know theres cheaper options. I cant HAVE those. Ive done nothing to inconvenience anyone else im fully willing to pay so why is this such a problem?

My body has never worked properly

Last year I lost a lot of mobility in my leg, found out Im hypermobile and didn't know and managed to sustain an injury that will now just cause pain and my leg to give out at times.

I thought I had carpal tunnel, but it kept getting worse and so quickly. I have arthritis in both my wrists. We dont know which one yet. The pain is debilitating. I cant lift anything heavy, I cant write for long periods of time, I cant even use a computer without pain some days. Currently we have no way to treat either my leg or my wrists (my doctor is working on a plan for the arthritis bu has given up on my legs)

I tell the people around me, hey I just got diagnosed with this thing, I thought id warn you so you know in case im walking weird or I cant do something you would see as easy.

Get told to stop venting. - I was just telling you but okay.

Get told by in laws that im young and if I dont just "push through" then itll only get worse. Thats not how medicine works actually?

Anytime I bring up my pain or difficulty living because of struggles walking or using my hands it gets ignored and im told im exaggerating.

I know im 23. Has anyone told my body? Because for some reason my body didnt get the memo that apparently only people over 50 can be disabled and even then I hate saying im disabled. Like I know by definition, I need things and other people to help me live so yes, but it feels so weird. I cant open cans, jars, my writing is so disastrous because of pain, I walk with a limp most days just because im too stubborn to use a cane. I cant really have sex ever without pain so bad in my hips I cant actually move my legs, I lose feeling in parts of my body due to inflammation and pain that cant be managed.

But no. Im just exaggerating. Someone who spent over a decade focused on strength building and martial arts - a licensed teacher in martial arts - is just having so much fun pretending to have issues moving and doing things. I ignore it knowing its only going to get worse but at some point I wonder when people will take it seriously.

"When are you going to learn to cook?" I cant even hold my phone steady. Yes lets give me knives and hot pans. I do cook. I CAN cook. I cant cook everyday. Why is that such an issue? Would we rather me hurt myself?

"Can you help move this piece of furniture?" No actually my legs dont work? Then im the burden.