so its been a year since ive been with my bf and this is the longest relationship i have ever been in and i dont see it stopping anytime soon. i think this is good.
however fairly recently i have been going through this weird time where i dont want to do anything and everything kind of makes me feel sad or mad. it could be because i should be starting my period soon. but i dont know.i hope so. i feel like this happens often and i think it is due to that, like the hormones just make me feel weird and act strange.
overall ive been pretty good i recently got like a job, like they said i have been hired but like they haven’t given me a start date. idk. like ive been super pissed about my parents recently. they are only acting this way because i have a bf and me and him go out or just are happy together unlike them and their lame asses. and its like they just get pissy. my mother kind of has been acting like a bitch to be honest and its like she gets really bitter about things. i feel like its not as much as before but its not completely gone yet.
on top of my mothers irrational behavior is my fathers rational behavior. he thinks if i have enough time to go out then i have enough time to clean around the house since i dont have a job, which is completely reasonable. all he really wanted was like the house to be picked up and occasionally vacuumed but what he really cared about was the yard, the pool, and making sure my room is clean. he said once a week he wants to see my room clean and the yard picked up(weeds,leaves,trash) and twice a week to empty the pool traps so the leaves dont clog the pool. completely reason to be honest.
but then my mother goes in and says she wants to add to the list because she is “working so hard at work” and im doing nothing. i think its screwey when people say that and they aren’t like lawyers or something. its like 99% of jobs require that you only have to think about work WHEN AT WORK while school makes a point of students having to think about school WHEN NOT AT SCHOOL. i dont know, its like she literally doesnt do shit and she acts like her job is so fucking hard. meanwhile my father is working full time plus overtime, multiple 24 hour shifts and having to go to mandatory meetings right after the 24 hour shifts where sometimes he gets no sleep. it is insane. and then on top of that he goes to school full time. its like i get father telling me what to do, or getting upset that i need a job. but its like my mother has no room to talk.
anyway, so she goes and butts into this arrangement me and my father have made. she says i have to:
once a month- clean all the fans and windows
twice a month-wash all four dogs, clean the washroom (wash all the clothes and throw stuff away)
once a week-clean the bathrooms and her room
twice a week- vacuum, dust, mop up and downstairs
everyday-pick up and clean everyones stuff that they leave lying around the house
on top of that i have to do the yard work and the pool and make sure my room is spotless once a week.
its fucking ridiculous. nevermind that but i also have to be the source of transportation for my sister and her friend for whenever they get out of practice evn though that varies from day to day to a point where i cant make any definite plans after 5pm. considering mon-thurs i get out of school and back to my house by about 4:15 this leaves me little time for myself. and then i have to clean everything all the time. its just stupid and it makes me angry that they have given me so much work. its like, why? thats fucking stupid.
so i applied to get a job because im fucking tired of my mother and i think i should get away from her. oh my gosh today i spent the day with my bf and his family and my mother was off today....so instead of being productive or like cleaning or doing anything like that she complained to me all day about how she is home alone and there is no one to keep her company and that she is bored and what am i doing and all this stuff. and its like i got out of school around 5 today and my bf’s family had some food so i went to his familys house because im so fucking tired of my mother and also i forgot my food at home so i was super hungry. and my mother was jus trying to make me feel guilty about it. but hell no. im so fucking tired of them trying to make me feel guilty just so they can get their way. my scorpio friend is right i cant be letting them do that to me, they are using me and thats not right.
