Lucilfer.

God I’m such an asshole I’m such an asshole I’m such an asshole he’s the only person I never want to hurt and look what I fucking did

I’m disgusted with myself. I failed to consider somebodies feelings and now they are upset. I thought I was better than this.

Don’t respond to my vents with positivity and shit none of you know me you don’t even know my NAME. It makes me irrationally angry.

I don’t want to be a bad person anymore

There’s already enough evil in this world I see no need to add to that

My aspd blog (this one) is my main blog btw

I’m never helping anybody again. I’ll let everyone do what they like. Oh you want to talk to your abuser and lie to me about it? Go a fucking head.

People only like me when i pretend to be better even if it kills me.

Oh.

I feel extremely numb today. Though it isn’t pleasant as I usually find it.

I am so insufferably bored I am genuinely considering offing myself to relieve this suffocating feeling

A lot of others with aspd are INTP or ENTPs, that’s quaint

TERFS, RADFEMS, Pro-life, anti-Sex work. Etc bitches aren’t welcome here lmao get fucked.

Hearing it referred to as “our disorder” by another individual with it made me feel far less alone.

I’ve been doing the things I am supposed to, I’ve been studying, working out, sleeping at reasonable times, engaging with people again, interacting with others. Everything that’s supposed to make things ‘better’. So why do I feel worse? I feel as though I am teetering on the edge of spiralling and I don’t understand why. I did everything I was supposed to.