***please note that these are the type of doms that i have met***
The Tumblr Dom - often a fuck boy masquerading as a dominant, they are not doms at all. they are predators. typically men who enjoy rough sex and degrading women without the woman’s consent, try to avoid them at all costs. they try to take advantage to newbies in bdsm and convince them an abusive bdsm relationship is how it works. Signs of a tumblr dom: “haha got kik ;)” “hey babygirl, message me,” “im looking for a sexy little thing and you look like you are it,” “i dont care if you dont want me, im the dom,” “you will respect cunt” and their blog is all rough sex (not bdsm, rough sex). 10 points extra if they either remove the captions that people post to self promote and/or degrade the people or write their own fantasies underneath. stuff like this without EVER saying a word to you prior or actually knowing you/being YOUR dominant
The Genital Centered Dom - everything is about the cock or the pussy. “come lick my pussy” “worship my cock slut” shit like that without EVER talking to you prior. their profile pic is usually a picture of their dick or pussy and they enjoy posting a ton of pictures of it on their blog and submitting it to other blogs.
The No Means Yes Dom - you will tell them no, they will keep coming back. they wont stop. they are relentless. it’s best to block them. they will not stop coming back unless you do this. they will says things like “i dont care what you want, im the dominant.” ***side note please remember if this is included in your scene that is okay. consent is key, especially in bdsm, so if you are your dominant get off on you fighting back and saying no, that’s perfectly okay as long as it is CONSENSUAL***
The It’s All About ME Dominant - they dont give a shit about their sub. it’s as simple as that. they try to convince the sub that BDSM is all about the dominants enjoyment when in fact it is about both people enjoying the scene to the fullest extent. Things they say will include “bdsm about MY enjoyment, not yours.” ***side note please remember if this is included in your scene that is okay. consent is key, especially in bdsm, so if you get off on serving your dominant and not getting anything in return that is perfectly okay as long as it is CONSENSUAL***
The Calm, Cool, Collected Dom - A dom who’s likes concrete, tangible outcomes may favor rituals and protocols. Probably what you picture when you think of a dominant. They are very much in control of everything around them and tend not to loose their cool except every once in a while. They are aware of subtle details in your appearance, attire, and demeanor and are likely to be very aware of body language during a scene.
The Strict Dominant - They have standards they live by and will impose them on you. They like things done their way, no other way will be accepted. They manage their own lives smoothly, with to do lists which they often place before anything else. They have a solid sense of order and routine
The Behavior Modifications Dominant - They get pleasure out of seeing others improve, even if it does not directly benefit them.They want to “fix” you and mold you into their perfect little submissive. Typically they are sweet and caring and very proud when you break a habit of yours or do something that they have trained you to do. They will say things like “it’s for your own good” or “i am doing this because it will help you, trust me”
Caregivers, Daddies, and Mommies Dom - dont let the title caregiver, mommy, or daddy fool you, when you find a proper caregiver dom they will show you whose boss. They often engage in plays such as cg/l (caregiver//little) where you will mostly see ddlg (daddy dom/little gir) but there are also mdlg (momma dom/little girl), ddlb (daddy dom/little boy), mdlb (mommy dom/little boy), cglb (caregiver/little boy), and any combination of these. They enjoy taking care of their submissive and disciplining them when they break a rule.
Gorean Masters - follow the writings of John Norman and his series of Gor. There has evolved a whole code of living and sets of responsibilities for all parties that extend far beyond the sexual in these books and have formed the basis of many of the modern lifestyle affiliates.
The Femdom - just a female dominant. they arent any different from male dominants. if you think having a female dominant will make them more caring or sweet haha you are wrong. some of the coldest dominants can be females just as they can be some of the warmest as well.
Sadistic Dom - gets off on inflicting pain on you. MUCH pain. typically into some pretty heavy bdsm stuff, they are not for the weak of heart. during a scene they will use and abuse you CONSENSUALLY and then afterwards, if you find a good dom, will do amazing aftercare and let you know how wonderful you are.
Lesser Gods/ God Like Dominants - are individuals who demand to be treated like a god in their home and worshiped. Many of these are ritualistic and have very clearly defined activities largely based on ego gratification. Even sex with them is usually one sided. The god receives the worship and gratification, and the submissive is there to please. Pharoanic Lords are often considered god like dominants but the only difference is they tend to have more then one submissive
The Submissive Collector - tend to be ones who collect slaves, house and treat them as animals. They also have large groups but typically not treated as a family but rather a herd. They enjoy animal play and dehumanization to the fullest extent.
“I Just Wanna Get Laid” Dom - Sends messages on tumblr, fetlife, and any other fetish website that says things like, “On your knees! I am a Dom and U R my slave!”. When he gets irate IMs back from the Domme he just sent to by mistake (what, read a profile? you *must* be kidding, right?), then he quickly changes his tune to “R U a FDom? I am your slave! May I lick your boots?”. *can be considered a tumblr dom
The Possessive Dom - Wants to know *exactly* what you do. Insists on checking your texts, emails, social networking and wants to know all your passwords to websites. Demands to know who your friends are, who you are hanging out with, why you aren’t with them. Basically a clingy date mate that if you dont agree to this, you should get out of the relationship.
Serious Dom - very much like the strict dom. Actually, this is the strict dom except the only difference is that it is all serious from their attitude to the relationship
Caring Dom - they care about you, geuninely. Everything they do, they have their sub’s best interest at heart. They try their best to be sweet AFTER a scene, but do not piss a caring dominant off. that is a huge mistake. they can usually snap within an instance.
Trainer Dom - wants to train you. very similar to the behavior modification dominant only these may or may not help you. this can involve trying to get you to stop smoking to only walking in ballet heels. it also includes aspects of your personality like maybe only talking when being spoken to.
The Clown Dom - they dont take anything seriously. everything is a joke to them whether it be flogging you, training you, setting up rules, not doing aftercare, etc, everything is a joke.
The Performer Dom - puts on a show that they are dominant. likes display themselves for others kinda like a peacock. they can be good or bad it’s really a toss up.
The teacher dominant - tries to guide you not only in the bedroom but in life. kinda like a mommy/daddy/caregiver, okay exactly like that except instead of being called one of those names they prefer “Mr..” or “Ms…”
The Wimpy Dom - is just a submissive masquerading as a dominant. they will constantly ask if they are doing this okay and right and how you are feeling after EVERY LITTLE THING. asking if your submissive is okay during a scene is very different from saying “kneel” and then going “did i do that right? are you okay?” there’s a difference.
The Sexual Dom - everything with them is sexual. Going out in public? but in an anal plug. Have to go to work today? don’t wear any underwear. I am coming over later? You better be naked on floor and horny when i arrive. Everything is about sex
The Tormenting Dom - likes to see you suffer. Different from the sadist because while the sadist gets off on inflicting pain on you, the tormenting gets off on tormenting you. this can be anything from mental, emotional, or physical torment while typically the sadist sticks to physical things. not for the weak of heart but tormenting doms, when they are proper doms, can be the sweetest ones.
The Little Dom - a dominant who is also little. Littles are not exclusively submissive there are many littles who are dominants and caregivers who are subs
The Pet Dom - just like a little dominant, a pet dom is one who enjoy pet role play but also being dom. they might be referred to as an alpha (if im remembering correctly) but you can be dommed by a kitten just as easily as you can be dommed by a big bearly man
The Asexual Dom - enjoys every aspect of d/s except the sexual part.
so there are many types of doms out there in the big bdsm world. some are good and some are bad. you just have to find the one that works best for you.
remember, consent is key!