Loxxo24-backup

I wake up middle of the night and cannot stop my brain from pinging every corner of itself with the most random thoughts, “to do” lists, and panicked “forgot to do” tasks. For home, for kids, for work…it’s all there, a buzzing swarm of bees that escaped the hive.

Thoughts hit the bumpers of my brain, lighting them up as if in a pinball machine, tallying up the highest score to date.

I change position a few times to my go-to favorites and still the thoughts come: now it’s down to the usual: “if I fall asleep right NOW I’ll still get 4 hours.” Soon that turns to 3.5 hours…it’s not working.

Thankfully tomorrow’s Sunday, but still there’a tasks to be done.

You stir and turn to lay on your back and I take your unintentional invitation and put my head and a palm on your upper chest. Even in sleep you are irresistible.

I hear and feel you breathing…in…out…in…out…your breathing steady and sure— a metronome to bring pace to my lack of rhythm. Without even realizing it, your deep breathing calms me..centers me …The way holding my babies years ago did for me: getting them tucked up in the crook of my neck, their clean baby smell and deep pace of breathing lowering my blood pressure, my overthinking, and probably my cortisol level as my breathing synchronized to theirs. You do that for me now.

I mimic your breathing to get in step but soon sense a change …you are waking—and feeling you lift your head to see mine laying on you…

“Can’t sleep?”, you whisper harboring me to you with the curl of an arm around my shoulder..your palm absent mindedly soothing me.

“It’s like I can’t find the off switch…I didn’t mean to wake you..”

Without opening eyes you say sleepily, “Guess something must have told my subconscious you needed company…or maybe an orgasm..” in the dark we both are smiling, no doubt.

You turn to your side and I slide off of you and you say “ok, woman: Turn.” —and as I try to say “no really babe I’m fine..” you say “shh..let’s get you to sleep..I’ll find your shut-down button here somewhere. Bet I can even do it with my eyes closed…”

When we spoon your hand usually starts with my nipples, but you bypass the usual foreplay of fumbling under my tank top, and your hand goes right for my panties…

I’m so distracted I’m worried I can’t get where you need me to be—reaction time is slow to start the “launch sequence” so to speak. Knowing I’m self conscious about it…sensing my wiggling and tense of unease—you reassure me “hey hon, it’s ok, relax. You can beg all you want but I’m not going to fuck you, I’m just going to turn off that beautiful ever-thinking brain of yours —from the outside.” With that you feel me relax and melt further into you.

Your fingers start over the fabric…2 middle fingers press deeply and firmly into my mound and folds —rubbing the one part of my body that’s in a deep slumber. I’m skeptical at first but your hand on my pussy always unlocks something in me.

You have one arm beneath me while the dominant hand works me over my panties—you bend the arm that’s under me and say “suck my thumb…let’s put my good girl to sleep…” And your rubbing gets harder …you slip your thumb in my mouth and I am embarrassed how hot it makes me …I relax and open my legs to you…and feel my clit waken. I start to hump your fingers..and suck your thumb—a satisfying sound escapes my throat… knowing you aren’t planning penetration means my mind is not obsessing with “am I wet enough yet??” You know me so well…to take away one more thing I’d obsess about…

“That’s it…” as you rub faster and whisper in my ear… ”let me do the work…fuck i love to masturbate you…let’s make you cum hard baby, so you’ll sleep harder..” as we dry hump hand to pussy through the fabric.

You roll fully on your back taking me with you, and with that pull me over on top of you, and we are face up—me on my back on top of you …My legs splayed. Your hand shoves down my panties …and I’m sucking your thumb like it’s a first drink of water on a hot day…you rub and play on my outer pussy and even pinch closed my lips…

You move back to very deliberate strokes that bear down hard on my clit as if it was my own hand -you plan to make me cum before the fortress inside my pussy has had a chance to catch up and realize it’s been surrendered …you spank my pussy through panties just hard enough…no pressure for me to get and stay wet…it’s just about making me cum. Dry or wet, you’re going there and fuck I’m here for it.

You slip your hand back under my panties now pushing them halfway to my thighs, and change from a thumb to your middle fingers in my mouth, so that while 2 middle fingers work my clit, 2 middle fingers of the other hand are being sucked loudly and drooled upon…

I’m moaning as you conjure an orgasm up through my body— it’s rising slowly…you feel it and swap hands to rub your drool-soaked fingers over my outer pussy…meanwhile you slip middle fingers that were just on my pussy inside my mouth “suck and cum…that’s it” as I buck my hips trying to get away from such direct contact with my clit… “that’s it baby…get it out …turn that brain off..let’s flick your switch…”

One more time you change hands again to get your dominate hand back on my clit.

I know I’m in for it now. The only one who enjoys me cumming more than me —is YOU.

Holy shit I know you’ll be relentless, and I’m quickly forgetting anything that came before this moment.

Your middle fingers covered in my saliva are rubbing my clit into oblivion …you jerk my clit so fast I clench around nothing and try to close my legs…your cock is hard and pushing against your boxers; your other arm now grasps me tightly to hold my arms to my torso so I can’t touch myself, holding me in place while you make me cum. Hard. You start dirty talking more …

“Cum again, baby..my good sleepy girl..Your whole body feels incredible under me - holy fuck….cum for daddy…..fucking give it to me..” You work my pussy and clit hard and so fucking fast…it started raw but enough wetness now coming out from inside me (body finally took brain over!) and from my saliva all over your fingers making it feel wet and slippery and making me insane…

“Can’t stop— don’t stop!!” I manage to say to you as I buck again and again a second, third and fourth subsequent orgasm ripping so close together from me…overstimulated and loving it. Greedy for it.

And the fifth one is the one. That’s the one we worked for…the one that I know turns my face ugly and contorted as my mouth is gaping silently wide open, body bucking and spasming on top of you like I’m possessed….levitating nearly off of your body. I’m to the point that I don’t care what I look like as I finally find my breath and voice to scream “fuuuck! Oh fuck!! YESSS.. uhhhhngg!! Right fucking there!!”

I expel a primal scream that speaks not only for me but a personification of how my clit feels…your hand and my clit now acting like one brain controls them both—And it’s sure as fuck not mine: You shut mine off 5 orgasms ago!

It’s a scream that will turn my throat hoarse and like gravel by morning and my behavior will make my cheeks red with embarrassment of how much I let out when we wake up…sometimes I think that’s your favorite part. What you can do to me.

You release your arm and roll me back on my side gently, as if any harsh movements would make me convulse again—which it probably would. You know you conquered and accomplished the task at hand.

Now it’s time for the sleep that evaded me—and you go back to spooning me…”such a good girl…fuck you amaze me more and more each time…now sleep…you deserve it…you did so well…” You lean over me and I turn to look up at you in a post orgasmic stupor and we kiss deeply.

I feel you leaky and hard against your boxers against me, my panties half down my ass…I try to reach back and help you but I’m so deflated and utterly useless, breathing hard and spent…

You stop me “no…leave me be—go to sleep baby…that’s a girl…this was for you..shh” You start petting my hair…

I don’t recall what happened next …because the next thing I knew I was seeing daylight peek through drawn drapes, as I opened my eyes and felt a scratchy throat…

There’s water by the nightstand with a “drink me and go back to sleep! xo” Post-It attached.

The only thoughts are pleasing thoughts of how to repay you for the “Cntrl-Alt-Delete” and purging of cache you did to my system.

"Really? Me too." He replied.

I stared at the reply and held my breath. I feel my face and body get heated and flushed.

I closed the app immediately.

I open the app back up immediately.

"Me too,” it still said.

A follow up comes next: “I will if you will…”

Holy shit. He doesn’t need to say more. I know what he’s referring to.

Knowing what I've confessed to him…sexual kinks, shared desires…someone who has fucked me every which way in my mind ...Now an opportunity I’d always convinced myself would never happen.

If we have even a glint of a spark in person, we’ll incinerate each other.

And here I am, two weeks later sitting at the bar off The Strip he and I agreed upon.

I'm nervous that it won't go well.

I'm nervous it WILL go well...

People are milling about in casual chats, loud bachelor & bachelorette parties, work outings, tradeshow runaways with their badges still on lanyards...It’s got the rhythm and din of a bar that sees a lot and keeps secrets.

I texted when I was arriving and full outfit details and asked what he was wearing. No reply.

I sit at the bar, staring at my phone.

I order a mixed drink because my hands were trembling too much to sip a martini gracefully.

"Hello Miss." I sense someone right behind my barstool…

I start to swivel the seat around, but a hand stops movement on the backrest.

"Don't turn around yet....”

I express a whispered kind of chuckle—but it's the sound of nerves releasing more than a laugh...

"So you can see me, but I can't see you?"

He ignores my question. No reply.

He keeps the weight of silence so heavy between us. I like it. And I curse it.

I wonder what he’s up to, but do as told…I had decided 2 weeks ago I was going to allow myself to have fun, be free, and make some memories.

The trust was there now all we needed was opportunity. And so here we are.

A hand brushes my hair from side of my neck..His touch makes me jolt In anticipation, excitement and a realization that I haven’t been touched tenderly in a very long time.

"I didn't think you'd come..." he said in my ear. Planting a soft kiss on the bottom of the side of my neck. I’m feeling it already as my head falls back a bit, melting into this.

"Didn't you want me to?" I say, half turning, sounding out of breath, adrenaline surging, my peripheral working overtime trying to figure him out.

"No." I hear... as a kiss is placed softly just up an inch from the last one ...my shoulders fall, I exhale audibly…everything goes limp above my waist…and below it, I clench…

"No,” He repeats. “you weren’t.” Kissing me again…

"You weren't supposed to go through with this...” his hands move to my shoulders…”You weren't supposed to come because you were supposed to be the smart one....”(another kiss running closer to my ear..fuuck..)

“You had to be the one who tells me we need to stop....”

Inside I feel a switch —I’m not thinking or overthinking about anything but this long-awaited moment. Immediately I know I’m as much his filthy woman in person as I am online.

“You needed to stay away and text me that you changed your mind, and we need to be good...And yet here you are.” He adds. “And Miss? If you agree to leave this bar with me….(lower voice) You are sooo getting fucked tonight.”

He swivels the stool around.

Eyes meet. He has a hand on each arm of the barstool, caging me. Or is he freeing me?

My eyes now dancing all over his face taking him in…his lips his jawline..and back to his eyes…he’s really here, and we are actually touching eachother beyond our words.

So much so that you'll get wet?

Gently tugging your shiny wet pink flesh until you feel a tingle running to your toes?

Do tell. . .

Don’t let me interrupt you, Anon…You seem to have this all figured out..by all means, do tell…

Wow Someone is curious…I have asks today!

And on a long ass conference call I’m not participating in soooo…

Favorite? Bedroom

Like feel the urge to feel my own body—with intent of completion?

3am a couple nights ago…

He was interpreting her through her body language, words, whimpers and gaze…

It was her gaze that was his compass.

He knew the difference of her state by watching her eyes…He enjoyed how they began warm, sunlike, laughing then to a sparkling mischievous glint, to bashful and ever-evasive, to an unfocused far away gaze of longing, until finally meeting his own with the telltale dark feral shadows that announced to him her descent was complete.

That’s when his discovery truly began.

It was not with arrogance that he approached and played her: they learned together to navigate the labyrinth of body, mind and soul.

It was with a fascination that he read her, making mental notes as if a cartographer. He wanted to find the way back and delve deeper each time.

When she felt she was in foreign territory he was were there, fluently interpreting her in her native tongue.

He expressed things that resonated and she found herself thinking “yes-exactly that…how do you know I wanted that before I even did??”

It was arousing and insanely intimate to put herself in his hands and allow him be to choose which doors to open and when to retreat as they discovered how to reconcile the parts of her between yes and no…dark and light…

She was not without control; he would not start any journey without arming her with a safeword to bring her immediately back to known and familiar lands. Like ruby shoes, the safeword meant the control was hers - it always was.

Laying back she always found herself welcoming the quiet that came in her mind by relinquishing control and handing the helm off so she could at the same time be the passenger, the journey, and the destination.

I watch him from the bed in my post-coital state as he comes back into the bedroom from the bathroom…

I’ve barely moved since cumming. He, on the other hand, is all energy: showered up and buttoning up his dress shirt over an undershirt, spent cock tucked back inside his boxer briefs, trying to hunt and gather all the items he had shed just moments ago….

I had arrived to the hotel for our weekend an hour prior, and we enjoyed a hot and heavy “hello” romp.

And now, before we start the rest of our weekend, he has to be seen at a closing keynote address at the conference downstairs he’s been attending the past few days.

I’m staring at his hands as he ties his tie.. fastens his watch back on his wrist…he leaves my view but I hear the telltale sounds of a zipper on his pants and a belt being buckled…

I’m still on a high from our having our way with eachother…and find myself aroused and enamored watching him do a normal routine of getting dressed. God he’s so fucking sexy just being…

I absentmindedly bend one knee inward while I straighten my other leg out, feeling not only a needed stretch in my hips, but the shift causes drips of his cum to leak out of me…I shut my eyes and revel in the feeling as I sense him moving around the room locating his phone, wallet, room key…I also sense our combined wetness pass through my lips.

I need to shower too, but this afterglow is something to savor. Cherish. I find I’m writhing slightly yet at the same time I’m contended.

Just minutes ago he buried his throbbing cock deep inside of me, that good-and-fucked feeling no toy can ever replace. Over and over, skin to skin contact, the force of our natures, the sounds of our bodies relentless and releasing…with echoes in my ears of his moans and filthy words as he ground into my clit—words and wants he will probably not even recall or believe he uttered as he bottomed out and drained himself into me.

But they are the memorized whispers, words, and throaty grunts that will get me off again and again when I’m back home alone reimagining it all. Fuck we fuck so good.

Dressed now except for his shoes, he sits on the bed to say bye and gives my ass a good crisp spank…then rubs it as if to soothe it away.

He kisses me as gentle as he was rough moments earlier and says to meet him in the lobby bar at 5:30–No panties.

He slips out the door as my hand slips immediately into the wet mess under me…I can’t help it.

I watch him from the bed in my post-coital state as he comes back into the bedroom from the bathroom…

I’ve barely moved since cumming. He, on the other hand, is all energy: showered up and buttoning up his dress shirt over an undershirt, spent cock tucked back inside his boxer briefs, trying to hunt and gather all the items he had shed just moments ago….

I had arrived to the hotel for our weekend an hour prior, and we enjoyed a hot and heavy “hello” romp.

And now, before we start the rest of our weekend, he has to be seen at a closing keynote address at the conference downstairs he’s been attending the past few days.

I’m staring at his hands as he ties his tie.. fastens his watch back on his wrist…he leaves my view but I hear the telltale sounds of a zipper on his pants and a belt being buckled…

I’m still on a high from our having our way with eachother…and find myself aroused and enamored watching him do a normal routine of getting dressed. God he’s so fucking sexy just being…

I absentmindedly bend one knee inward while I straighten my other leg out, feeling not only a needed stretch in my hips, but the shift causes drips of his cum to leak out of me…I shut my eyes and revel in the feeling as I sense him moving around the room locating his phone, wallet, room key…I also sense our combined wetness pass through my lips.

I need to shower too, but this afterglow is something to savor. Cherish. I find I’m writhing slightly yet at the same time I’m contended.

Just minutes ago he buried his throbbing cock deep inside of me, that good-and-fucked feeling no toy can ever replace. Over and over, skin to skin contact, the force of our natures, the sounds of our bodies relentless and releasing…with echoes in my ears of his moans and filthy words as he ground into my clit—words and wants he will probably not even recall or believe he uttered as he bottomed out and drained himself into me.

But they are the memorized whispers, words, and throaty grunts that will get me off again and again when I’m back home alone reimagining it all. Fuck we fuck so good.

Dressed now except for his shoes, he sits on the bed to say bye and gives my ass a good crisp spank…then rubs it as if to soothe it away.

He kisses me as gentle as he was rough moments earlier and says to meet him in the lobby bar at 5:30–No panties.

He slips out the door as my hand slips immediately into the wet mess under me…I can’t help it.