Dilara

Treated unfairly gives you insecurities, it's makes you feel like you are nothing, the way you smile, dress, style your hair or even your communication with people will suffer. You know what hurts me the most? The people who did this to me but most of all the narcist ex, they can call me crazy because i can't find damn balance in what i do anymore. I was from sunshine and rainbows to DARK. I transported myself into a very dark world accidentally, because i was a fool for love from anyone, the narcist knew how he could me played well. since then i can't be myself anymore and i accustomed to the "new normal", my behaviour annoys my family, but even they don't understand me and even they also treating me unfairly, they are not looking what's going on inside, this is why i hate injustice, lack of communication. it kills people. i laugh my crazy thoughts away, as always. i hope that my way cross to somebody that will show me the sunshines and the rainbows again..

Good morning,

On my way to work in this early morning with tears that want to roll over my cheeks but they don't come out. I realise that my whole life is such a mess, I want to explore but I can't. I want to be myself but it can't, i want everything my way. I don't want to justify myself anymore. Guess what, i keep justify myself constantly.. there is so much more inside of me, but i can't spill it out, everyone has something to say about MY life.

I'm dealing with so much in my mind, that i need justice to release myself from this. I want to pack my suitcase and go away from everyone i know, from the bad places, from toxic persons, from friends that are with me when it's going good, and when it's going bad they are nowhere. I just want to leave this city.

well, i saw a dead body for the first time ever in my life, but also the worst.. i kissed my granny's dead body his cheeks....Rest in peace my grandfather.. i can't sleep or eat normal. i really didn't think a death would affect me that badly. well.. i didn't spoke to him before he left us, so i am in tears that i couldn't let him know again how much i love him and adore him.. how do you guys deal with this kind of emotions, with such a deeply pain in the heart? i hope i will recover soon...

i realized AGAIN that we need to spread our love, emotions to people we love. we have any time for negative vibes, think twice. i also learned that my ''friends'' aren't my friends at all.

I am tired of trying to hold things together that cannot be held. Trying to control that cannot be controlled. I am tired of denying myself what i want for fear of breaking things cannot be fix. They will break no matter what we do.

You'll never fully cherish the people in your life if you keep hoping for those who have left to come back and haunt you.

When we feel good, we don't really worry about our body or notice it too much. We are too busy living and getting on with life. It is most often pain, struggles, and difficulties that teach us more about our inner world. We feel the parts inside of our world that nobody else can touch or experience.

It is a common misconception that we should be happy all the time. We are told through marketing that we shouldn't feel ''this way''so we should buy this product to solve our problems. People label unwanted feelings such as pain, depression, and anxiety as abnormalities rather than view them as normal and effective ways in our body.