The Void

his voice soothed you, calming you enough to stutter out ramblings of how you thought you didn’t care that she was gone, that this would be easy. he listened as you spoke tenderly about your late caregiver, forgiving her for wrongdoings you couldn’t look past when she was still here. once your voice began to trail off, he finally responded.

“my girl’s all grown up now”, he chuckled, proud of how mature you sounded even as you cried between each word. “i know how conflicting it is. wasn’t even sure if i wanted to come back when i remembered everything, but im not gonna leave you to do this alone”. you nodded your head, forgetting he couldn’t see you. the two of you exchanged a few more words before saying h e would be there in a couple of hours, asking you to wait until he arrived before continuing. “let the grief settle, we’ll do this together.”

you sat with the silence for a few minutes, simply taking it all in. deciding fresh air would help you reset, you moved to open a window. cool air rushed in, brushing against your face and easing the tightness in your chest. when you turned back to the room, the mess was exactly where you’d left it. boxes, papers, and memories piled around you. with a quiet sigh, you returned to work, knowing it needed to be done.

most of the afternoon passed in silence, broken only by the occasional rustle of paper and creak of old floorboards. boxes that hadn’t been touched in years were stacked around you, their contents carrying the scent of dust and time. you had just started working through a box labelled ‘caleb’s stuff’ when a particularly harsh gust of wind scattered old photographs and school papers across the room, revealing a worn notebook buried beneath them. years in storage had torn at its edges, wrinkling the cover and creasing the pages inside. its condition nearly led you to throw it out until your fingers stilled when you recognized the familiar cursive of caleb’s name sprawled across the side. you quickly flipped through the pages, dust blowing into your face as you realized it was his journal.

you knew you shouldn’t read it. the thought alone should’ve been enough to make you close it and put it where you’d found it. instead, you stared down at the worn cover resting in your lap.

before you could convince yourself otherwise, you were already turning to the first page.

property of caleb xia

his contact info was written below it, DAA email hinting at how long ago it was.

the first few pages were exactly what you’d expected—complaints about school, notes about training, little observations about his day. some of them even made you laugh, hearing his voice so clearly despite the years that had passed.

you almost snapped a picture to tease him with when an entry mentioning you caught your eye.

today she stole half my fries and acted like i was the one robbing her. i put up a fight just to see her get annoyed.

a smile tugged at your lips.

she fell asleep on the couch again. gran told me to wake her up, but i think she’s more comfortable here bc of the storm.

your fingers paused against the page.

i don’t think she realizes how pretty she looks when she’s talking about something she likes.

her eyes get all big and she can barely make it through one story before going on a tangent about something else. i wanted to kiss her so bad that i had to kick her out using ‘homework’ as an excuse.

you reread the entry once, twice, three times, looking for hints it was about someone else. the further you read though, the harder it became to convince yourself you were misunderstanding, because the entries didn’t stop—every page only made it clearer.

gideon stayed for dinner and i saw her bite her lip when he talked about how much she’d grown. pissed me off. i say it allll the fucking time but she never blushes with me.

then, an entry from two days later.

came home from the gym and was telling her about my pr when she came out of the shower wearing MY shirt. wasn’t even a clean one too, probably picked up the first one she saw. christ, sometimes i feel like she WANTS me to just bend her over and—

your attention was ripped from the journal as your phone rang. caleb’s name flashed on the screen for a minute before you picked it up with shaking fingers.

“h-hello?” your voice trembled, somehow convinced he could hear the guilt and immediately clock what you’d been doing.

“hey pips. gonna be a bit late, weather started to get bad so my ride got delayed”

your eyes drifted back to the journal as you listened, humming every so often to pretend you were paying attention.

“you have the key right?” you asked, listening for confirmation. “i’m probably gonna clean a bit more then shower, just let yourself in whenever”.

the two of you exchanged pleasantries before he finally let you go, your device vibrating with a follow up message from him saying he “can’t wait to see you”. you meant to respond, but the journal weighed heavy in your lap. you threw your phone to the side and laid back with the journal in your hands, trying to immerse yourself into past caleb’s mindset.

finally spring break. was so tired the first day back but she begged me to take her to the beach. i genuinely almost came on the spot when i saw the purple bikini she chose.

you felt heat bloom between your legs at the first truly explicit comment, heart racing as you skipped to the next passage.

last day off so we had a movie night. i turned on sinister bc of the jumpscares and every single one had her pushing up against me. haven’t even been hiding how hard i am lately so i wonder if she does it on purpose? like does she get wet teasing me like that??? bet it tastes so good from the source, idk what i’m gonna do when i won’t even have her panties w me back at the academy.

sometimes i feel like she wants me to make the first move but i dont wanna lose her if im wrong.

i wish i didnt have to go back.

i wish she could come with me.

i wish we were more than we are right now.

the last few sentences made your heart ache, the yearning and pure adoration he felt evident with every word. you knew you should’ve stopped reading ages ago, but still you found yourself turning the page, barely registering the sound of the front door unlocking.

“pips?”

your head snapped up as his voice carried through the house, footsteps climbing the staircase.

“are you still up here baby?” he called, “thought you would’ve gone to bed?”

panic shot through you as your eyes darted around the attic, searching for anywhere to hide the journal. the worn notebook nearly slipped from your hands as you scrambled to think.

his footsteps got louder while you briefly considered shoving it down your pants. before you could commit to the idea though, caleb appeared at the top of the ladder, still dressed in his colonel uniform.

“hi sweet girl” he murmured, a fond smile forming on his face. he walked towards where you’d gotten comfortable, crouching down to ruffle your hair. “how come you’re still awake?”

your mouth opened, then closed again, hands tightly gripping the journal.

“um, was tryna clean so we had more time to just hang out” you managed, hoping he believed the lame response.

his expression softened instantly, a gloved hand coming to cup your cheek.

“you sap”, he laughed, standing to his full height and reaching out a hand. “let’s get ready for bed, we’ll do this tomorrow, yeah?”

you nodded, slipping your hand into his. the second his attention drifted, you tossed the journal into the darkest corner of the attic, a dull thump echoing across the room.

thankfully, old houses were always making noises, so if caleb noticed, he didn’t say anything. he simply squeezed your hand and guided you towards the ladder.

you followed close behind, doing your best to not think about the notebook hidden upstairs or the words still echoing in your head.

just moments later, the attic hatch closed above you, leaving the journal in darkness.

you couldn’t sleep that night. all you could think of every time you shut your eyes was the unbridled longing between the covers of that godforsaken notebook. every little action you previously chalked up to being ‘the perfect gege’ now carried new meaning.

the stupid nicknames, hugs that went on a little too long, the way he always gave you the last bite of his food, saying he “wasn’t hungry anymore”.

you groaned into your pillow, stomach twisting as you chided yourself for being so fucking stupid.

—

the smell of pancakes woke you in the morning, a familiar mix of vanilla and caleb’s ‘special ingredient’ (it was just cinnamon, he really wasn’t as clever as he thought) luring you out of bed. you padded downstairs in an old hoodie of his, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as he came into your view. you wrapped your arms around his broad figure hunched over the stove while taking him in. he was wearing his old running outfit, the colonel version of him hidden as he began looking like your caleb once again.

the muscles of his back tensed before he turned towards you, chuckling at the pout you wore while looking up at him.

“look who’s finally up.” he spoke, laughing at the way you rolled your eyes and pushed yourself off him.

“sorry i’m not a tryhard who gets up early”

you tried to bully him but somehow made him sound good. mumbling a ‘whatever’, you walked to the table and sat back, waiting for him to serve you.

a couple more minutes passed before he finally set a plate of golden pancakes in front of you, an iced chai following before you even had to ask.

“still not a coffee person, right?”

you nodded and tried to ignore the way your heart raced at his kind gesture, quickly grabbing the mug and covering the flush that bloomed on your cheeks.

breakfast continued in silence, the only sound heard being your collective chewing. you took the time to appreciate his masculine features, now seeing him as more than just the boy you grew up with. even the furrow of his eyebrow felt new, awakening longing in the deepest parts of your body you’d never felt before.

your heart squeezed as you began to spiral. did he still feel the same? why did you have to ruin everything by reading something so personal, god you were going to hell for this and it was deserv—

“you okay?”

you blinked several times before fumbling with your utensils, trying to look normal and failing desperately.

“w-what?” you mumbled, shoving multiple pieces of pancakes into your mouth before looking back into the violet eyes that were haunting you.

“you’ve been staring at me for like a minute, i got something on my face?” he asked, making a cocky display of hollowing his cheeks and stroking his jawline with the tip of his finger.

not responding for a beat too long and earning a questioning look from caleb, you spat out “s-sorry no jus’ zoned out”

“on my face?” he teased, flicking your forehead before focusing on his food once more. you knew it was a rhetorical question, one that didn’t need or warrant an answer—but for some reason you still found yourself responding. “yeah”

it was his turn to hide a blush now, biting his lip to suppress a happy smile. “weirdo”

the rest of breakfast passed in a blur, the air going stale with awkwardness. deciding to split up tasks to make everything go quicker, caleb offered to finish up the attic while you cleaned the kitchen. you tried resisting, saying you already started it, but it was no use—he didn’t want you to cry like yesterday again. asshole.

you listened to his footsteps climb the stairs, floorboards creaking as he began to work on the items. in less than an hour caleb had neatly organized nearly every box, now left with trashing the final items. he picked up some scattered papers here and there before pausing over a very familiar book, free of dust and dogeared to a page he remembered writing out.

bet it tastes so good from the sou-

the journal fell from shaky hands, a loud curse leaving his lips as it landed on his toes. he pinched the bridge of his nose, your strange act at breakfast now making perfect sense. still—caleb hoped, he prayed that by some miracle of god you didn’t read it. maybe if he ignored it like he ignored his feelings for you all these years, everything would be normal.

not giving it another thought, caleb quickly threw out the journal. “i’m sorry” he mumbled, unsure if he was speaking to you or his past self.

just as he contemplated fishing through the trash for it, too sentimental to dismiss his younger version’s struggles this easily, you bounced up the stairs carrying a water bottle.

“you okay?” you questioned, handing him a bottle of water. he nodded hesitantly before reaching for it, taking a sip and feeling a droplet run down his throat. your eyes never left him, trailing after the stray water with deep focus.

“looks good” you spoke dreamily, still staring at the collar of his shirt where the drop disappeared. “i-i mean the attic, um…you did it fast” you clarified, stumbling over your words before grabbing a broom and moving to sweep the dust.

caleb chuckled uncomfortably as he began stacking the boxes to keep, always having an eye on the bag of trash carrying his deepest secrets. somehow though, you kept finding ways to be close to him. intentionally or not—you were constantly going up to him, offering to help carry stuff you knew he didn’t need any help with.

at one point you tried to brush away some cobwebs you swore were on his head, pulling away after seeing the skeptical look he gave you.

“sorry” you mumbled, not able to look in his eyes.

“for what?”

you shrugged dejectedly, still not facing him. “nothing i guess”

before he could question you any more, you ran off to the washroom, leaving caleb with his thoughts.

—

by the time evening rolled around the attic was empty, and the two of you had washed away the dust with memories buried between it off your body. you collapsed on the couch next to each other, his arm thrown around your shoulders as he reached for the remote.

“horror?” he asked, speaking into the crown of your head.

you hummed in agreement, nuzzling further into his side. you inhaled deeply, noticing the way he tensed before pressing you closer. caleb turned on sinister without hesitation, throwing the remote aside and covering the two of you with a blanket.

twenty minutes into the movie and you were entangled with his body, legs resting atop his and arms gripping his waist tightly. at first you used the excuse of being “scared”, but you’d seen this movie fifty times. the jumpscares had no effect on you. still, you flinched in his touch with every loud noise, too aware of his hand resting dangerously close to your hip. you readjusted yourself until you were basically being cradled, finally causing him to pause the movie while clearing his throat.

“pips?”

you tucked your face against his chest before humming in response.

“did you read my old journal?”

you froze in his hold, unsure of how to respond. if you said yes, he’d know you saw all the…stuff. but if you said no, you’d have to explain why you were finally acting on thoughts you used to hate yourself for having.

“maybe?”

he sighed, holding you closer and resting his head upon yours. “i figured. i’m really, really sorry.”

his apology finally had you looking up “you’re sorry?”

he bit his lip and shrugged, still embarassed. “i didn’t mean it okay, i was a stupid 17 year old.”

you lifted an eyebrow.

“okay fine 18.” he paused, hoping you’d be satisfied. “fine 19. the point is—“

you giggled, tension finally slipping from your shoulders.

“i know it was bad, but i don’t want you to feel like you owe me anyth-“

“i love you”

you both spoke at the same time, interrupting each other.

silence followed as you waited for him to respond, regretting your words with every second that passed. finally, caleb lifted one hand to point at himself with his mouth agape. “m-me?”

it was the first time you’d seen him genuinely bewildered. you nodded as tears began to build, expecting a rejection to come.

“oh my god i take it back, i meant all of it and more. pips, i love you so—hey why are you crying?!”

you laughed at the alarm in his voice, letting him swipe away your tears. “i-i felt so much shame…always felt so sick and being here jus’ made it all come back.”

he nodded as you spoke, eyes flicking from yours to your trembling lips. “i’m sorry…god we wasted so much time”

you laughed again, wrapping your arms around his neck before resting your forehead on his. you sat like that, breathing each others air before he broke the silence.

“can i kiss you” caleb asked, lips already brushing yours with each word. you nodded eagerly, earning a chuckle from him.

he closed the distance between your mouths, gently pressing his lips on yours and feeling every version of him cheer as he finally got the girl of his dreams.

you moved back, looking into his eyes once more.

“again?”

you giggled at the question, closing the distance yourself this time and feeling his groan rumble through you. his tongue traced the seam of your lips, exploring with purpose once you gave him access. he licked against every part of your mouth, entwining his strong muscle with yours. a string of spit connected you when you pulled away from each other, lips puffy and red.

you grinded against him without meaning to, whining at the feeling of his hard length against your clothed heat.

“fuck” he groaned, letting his head fall back against the couch as you repeated the motion, letting your lips trail down his neck. “s-so fuckin good”

you focused on the spot that had him bucking against you, alternating between biting the sensitive skin and soothing it with your tongue.

“ngh…gege” you moaned into his skin, the endearing term making him pull you back with a hand in your hair.

“fuck, can i please take this off?” he asked, fingers playing with the hem of your top.

you nodded quickly, helping him rip it off you and throwing it to the side. you thanked your past self for skipping a bra after your shower, the warm hands cupping your breasts leaving you dripping.

“so fucking cute, used to think of these pretty tits all day” he confessed, pelvis continuing to meet your bounces above him. you moaned at his words, placing your hands on his shoulders for stability as you sped up. “r-really?”

“mhm. i couldn’t write down half the stuff i wanted to do, always felt too bad.” you whined at the words, nails gripping his shoulders tightly. “would imagine sucking on your pretty tits, playing with your pussy and watching you cum”

you nodded rapidly, gasping when he pinched your nipples. finally, caleb ran his tongue down towards your breasts, sucking on one of the perky buds while cruelly tweaking the other. the dual stimulation was too much for you, finally reaching your peak above him, body trembling as the waves of pleasure crashed over you.

he let you ride out your high before bringing his head up once more, pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

“do you want more?”

his hands slowly ran up and down your skin, soothing your nerves and letting you decide. you nodded while still catching your breath, watching in awe as he ripped his clothes off. “thank god, you don’t even know what you do to me.”

you stared at his chiseled figure, lifting your hips so he could take off your pants. your eyes trailed down his body before finally landing on the giant hard cock between his legs, his hand pumping it gently and rubbing the bead of slick at the tip around the rest of his length.

you gulped while watching him, back arching when he ran his tip between your pussy lips. “f-fuck, gege please”

he moaned at that, a whine of your name leaving his lips as the last of his restraint finally broke.

he slowly pushed his tip into you, the shear stretch of just the first inch making your eyes water. you gripped the couch below you, knuckles whitening with the force you used.

“doin’ so good, know you can take it” caleb spoke from above you, eyes locked on where you met, one hand rubbing your clit to ease the pressure.

“f-faster, get it over with”

he shook his head, unsure of whether he was denying it for your wellbeing or his. tired of how long he was taking, you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him to you, a scream ripping from your throat as he was buried to the hilt. his eyes shot open as his body curled over you, trying to think of anything to avoid shooting his load prematurely.

the two of you moaned, surprised at how full you were. “s-so big” you cried, tears rolling down your face as he slowly pulled out to push back in.

“maybe if you weren’t a fuckin brat…” he began, cut off as he became entranced by the way your cunt constantly sucked him back in.

without a warning caleb increased his pace, shushing you and apologizing for being rough but not slowing down.

“sorry, fuck baby, i’m so sorry jus’ feel so good, been waiting for you forever”

you pulled him for a kiss to quiet his ramblings, trying not to scream as he began fucking into you ferociously. the old couch you were situated began to squeak as it moved against the floor, creaking with every inch it moved.

“c-close” you whined, already nearing your peak once more as his thumb rapidly rubbed against your clit.

“please baby, cum for me i need it, please fuck—“

his pleas were cut off with a gush of fluid from your heat, immediately triggering his own orgasm and leading to his body falling on top of yours. the sound of your heavy breathing filled the room, laying with each other as he pressed tender kisses to your shoulder.

you giggled at the immediate change in his demeanour, running a hand through his hair. just as he opened his mouth to speak, the movie suddenly resumed and caused both of you to let out a loud scream at the sudden jumpscare. caleb scrambled for the remote and shut the tv off, leaning back over you and giggling at the way your hearts raced in tandem.

© all work belongs to @luvyizhou on tumblr, 2026. do NOT use, repost, or feed any of my work into AI or other websites.

Karen introduced you to Frank Castle on a Tuesday, and afterward you blamed her for it constantly. At first, he was just the terrifying guy who showed up at her apartment bleeding half to death and refusing medical help like it was a personality trait. You thought he was rude. He thought you talked too much. Karen thought you were both idiots almost immediately.

But then Frank kept showing up. Always with some excuse. Information for Matt. Coffee for Karen. Food nobody asked for. And somehow he always lingered longer when you were there too. You fell for him slowly.

In stupid little pieces.

The way he remembered your coffee order after hearing it once. The way he automatically walked closest to the street at night. The way his giant terrifying self softened every time you laughed at one of his dry muttered jokes like he couldn’t help it.

And Frank— God.

Frank fell hard.

Karen noticed first.

“You’re staring again,” she told him one night while you sat on the floor stealing fries from the takeout container in your lap.

“I ain’t starin’.”

“You absolutely are." Frank looked at you like you were something dangerous in the best possible way. Like he wanted to touch you but wasn’t sure he was allowed to. That was the thing about him. He never pushed.

Not once.

You dated other guys before Frank. Plenty. But they always got impatient eventually. Always acted like sex was some finish line they deserved to cross if they waited long enough. So you kept saying no. And after enough bad experiences, the fear just… stayed. Frank never made you feel guilty for it. The two of you became disgustingly affectionate anyway. Constantly touching. Your legs over his lap on the couch. His hand at your back guiding you through crowds. Falling asleep tangled together during movies. Stealing his shirts. Sitting between his knees while he cleaned guns and listening to him grumble about your taste in music. But every time things almost turned sexual, panic crept in. And every single time, Frank stopped immediately. One night he walked you home and looked at your mouth long enough to make your knees weak.

“If I kiss you,” he asked quietly, “you tellin’ me to stop?” You panicked. And Frank stepped back instantly like your comfort mattered more than breathing. That was probably when you realized you loved him. Not because he wanted you. Because he didn’t need anything from you to stay.

----------

You stand in the bedroom, pacing back and forth, chewing on your thumb.

God, you feel so stupid.

Your heart is pounding hard enough to make your ribs ache. You’ve faced armed men before. You’ve patched bullet wounds with shaking hands. You’ve stared down monsters and lived through it. And somehow this is worse. Because this is Frank.

Frank, who kisses your shoulder every morning without fail.

Frank, who drapes himself over you on the couch like a weighted blanket because he knows you secretly love it.

Frank, who always reaches for your hand first in crowded places.

Frank, who has spent months loving you with his entire body while carefully avoiding the one line you kept drawing between you.

Not because you hated touch.

God, no.

You’re practically glued to him half the time. You sit in his lap while he cleans guns. Fall asleep with your face in his neck. Steal his shirts and crawl into his arms every night like it’s instinct. And the need that crawls inside your skin when you see him shirtless, or doing anything with his hands- god. It's insatiable.

But sex— Sex always felt different to you.

Too vulnerable.

Too permanent.

Too much.

And every guy before Frank eventually got tired of waiting. Some were patient at first. Most pretended to be. Then came the guilt trips. The sighs. The passive-aggressive comments. The inevitable: What, you don’t trust me?

And eventually, somehow, time just… kept passing. Until suddenly you were here.

A grown virgin.

In Frank’s apartment.

In Frank’s clothes.

Hopelessly in love with a man who has never once made you feel bad for being scared. Which honestly makes this so much harder. You stop pacing long enough to stare at yourself in the mirror.

“You are a grown woman,” you mutter weakly. The reflection looks unconvinced. From the living room, you hear the low murmur of the TV and the faint clink of a beer bottle against the coffee table. Frank’s home from a job. Showered already. Clean black t-shirt. Gray sweats hanging low on his hips. You know because you’ve spent the last twenty minutes trying not to think about it. You squeeze your eyes shut.

Fuck it.

Before you can lose your nerve, you walk out into the living room. Frank’s sprawled on the couch, one arm stretched across the back cushions, beer balanced against his stomach while some old war documentary drones quietly from the television. The second he sees you hovering there, he frowns slightly.

“You alright, baby?” he asks. You open your mouth. Nothing comes out. Frank immediately sits up straighter.

“That bad, huh?” You blurt it before you lose your nerve.

“Frank, I want to have sex with you.” Frank spits beer all over himself. You jump backward as he starts choking violently.

“Jesus Christ—”

“Oh my God.” He’s coughing hard enough his face turns red.

“Sorry-shit-” Frank wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, staring at you like you just confessed to arson. “You—what?” Your face burns.

“Well now I regret bringin’ it up.”

“No, hold on.” He sets the beer down carefully like sudden movements might scare you off. “What?” You groan and cover your face.

“This is humiliating.”

“Sweetheart.” His voice softens immediately. “C’mere.” You shake your head aggressively.

“No, because now you’re gonna look at me weird.”

“I have literally never looked at you weird a day in my life.”

“You absolutely have.”

“Okay, fair. But not for this.” You peek at him through your fingers. Frank still looks stunned. Not upset. Not uncomfortable. Just deeply confused. “You wanna…” He gestures vaguely between the two of you. “With me?”

“Frank, there are no other people in this apartment.”

“That ain’t what I mean.” You know that. Your stomach twists violently. Frank studies you carefully now, all teasing gone.

“I thought you didn’t want that stuff,” he says gently. “And I was okay with that.”

“I do want it.”

“Then why’ve you looked ready to bolt every time things got heated?” Your face gets hotter.

“Because I’ve never done it before.” Silence. Frank blinks once.

“…done what before?” You stare at the floor.

“Any of it.” Another beat. Then:

“…Baby.” You want the earth to swallow you whole.

“I’m a virgin, okay? I've never been kissed, never been touched by anyone except myself. ” you blurt out finally. “And before you make a face about it—”

“I ain’t makin’ a face.”

“You are internally.”

“I’m really not.” You risk a glance up. He genuinely isn’t. He just looks… shocked.

“You never—?”

“No.”

“And nobody ever—?”

“No.” Frank leans back slowly against the couch cushions like he just got hit with something.

“Jesus Christ.”

“I know. God, i'm so fucking embarassing.”

“No, sweetheart, I just—” He rubs a hand over his jaw. “I thought maybe you just weren’t comfortable with physical intimacy.” You snort nervously.

“I’m literally attached to your spine twenty-four hours a day.”

“That’s true.”

“I love physical stuff.” Your voice gets smaller. “I just… wanted my first time to actually mean something.” Frank goes very still at that. “And all the guys before you kept acting like they deserved it eventually because they waited long enough.” You shrug tightly. “So I kept saying no.” Something ugly flashes across Frank’s face. Not at you. Never at you. At them.

“I’m gonna need names,” he mutters darkly. Despite everything, you laugh.

“No, you absolutely do not.”

“They sound annoyin’.”

“They were.” A silence settles between you. Not awkward. Just… full. Frank looks at you for a long second, something almost painful softening his face.

“You know I’d wait forever, right?” he says quietly. Your chest aches instantly.

“I know.”

“And I mean forever.”

“I know.”

“You don’t gotta prove anythin’ to me.” Your throat tightens.

“That’s kinda the problem,” you admit softly. Frank frowns slightly.

“What d’you mean?”

You stare down at your hands.

“I mean…” God. “I’m not doing this because I feel pressured.” Your voice gets quieter. “I’m doing it because I’m in love with you and I trust you and I think about you constantly.” Frank exhales sharply.

“You gotta stop sayin’ stuff like that.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m tryin’ real hard to keep actin’ normal.” Your stomach flips. You walk closer to him, just so he can drag you to stand between his legs, his hands on your waist. You force yourself to keep talking before fear catches up again.

“I think about you kissing me,” you admit quietly. “And touching me.” Your face burns hotter. “And I think about your hands a lot, which honestly feels medically concerning at this point.” Frank makes a strangled sound. You look up just in time to see him drag a hand over his face.

“Sweetheart,” he rasps.

“And I know I’m late to all this and weird about it and probably overthinking everything—”

“Hey.” His voice cuts through immediately. Firm. “None of that.” You stop. Frank leans forward, elbows on his knees, eyes locked on yours with that terrifying intensity he gets when he means something completely. “There is nothin’ wrong with you.” Emotion punches straight through your chest. He softens instantly seeing your face change.

“C’mere,” he says quietly. This time, you go immediately. Frank catches you the second you lean into him, pulling you straight into his lap like it’s instinct. His arms wrap around your waist automatically, warm and solid and safe, and you bury your face in his neck with a shaky breath.

“There she is,” he murmurs softly against your hair. You cling harder.

“I’m nervous.”

“I know.”

“You still want me?” Frank actually leans back enough to look offended.

“Baby, I have wanted you since the second you yelled at me in Karen’s kitchen for bleeding on her floor.” A startled laugh escapes you.

“You remember that?”

“You threatened me with a mop.”

“You were bleeding everywhere.”

“And I still thought you were cute.” You groan into his shoulder.

“This is awful.”

“No,” he says softly, one hand sliding up your back. “This is you trustin’ me.” His thumb strokes slowly along your spine.

“You sure about this?” he asks quietly. You nod against him.

“Yeah.”

“And if you change your mind at any point?”

“I’ll tell you.”

“And then we stop."

“Yes.” Frank studies your face carefully for another second. Then his hand slides gently into your hair.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks softly. Your heart practically stops. You nod once.

“Yeah.” Frank closes the distance so gently you almost don’t feel it at first—just the soft, rough drag of his thumb along your jaw, then his lips, warm and chapped, brushing yours. It’s not the kind of kiss you expected from Frank. You were bracing for a car wreck, something bruising and violent, the way he is on a job. But it’s nothing like that. He kisses you so slow, so careful, like you might shatter. You don’t shatter. Not exactly. But the sensation is so intense you feel yourself splitting open from the inside out. His hand cups the back of your head, steadying you. He pulls back barely an inch.

“You okay?” Voice low, hoarse. You nod, but it’s not enough, so you push forward, mouth crashing into his, desperate for the centrifugal force he’s been holding back. He lets you, lets you climb messily into his lap, lets you fist your hands in his shirt. And when your tongue nudges against his, Frank gives a little grunt and opens for you, just a hair, just enough. Every nerve in your body catches fire. You’d thought, maybe, that the first time would feel awkward. Like taking a test you never studied for. But Frank makes it easy. He keeps checking in with you, saying your name between kisses, grounding you with his hands, never letting you get lost in the panic of it. At some point, you realize you’re straddling his thighs and he’s got one palm splayed wide over your lower back, the other bracing your jaw, like he’s afraid you’ll tip out of gravity if he ever lets go.

“You still good?” he rasps.

“Yes,” you say, and it comes out as a gasp. You’re trembling. Not with fear—the opposite. You want to crawl out of your skin. Frank’s hands are on your hips now, then under your shirt,dragging slow up your ribs. He keeps it gentle, keeps it steady, like he’s reading your mind. When his thumb sweeps over one nipple, you arch so hard you nearly headbutt him. He huffs a tiny laugh, then grins, wide and wolfish.

“Sensitive?”

“Shut up.” He does, at least for a second. His mouth finds your neck, then your collarbone, then the top of your breast. He peppers all of it with slow, open-mouthed kisses that threaten to melt your brain. He lifts the hoodie up and off in one slow motion, and you almost laugh at yourself for being nervous; it’s just Frank, looking at you like he’s been starving and you’re the only meal he’s ever wanted.

“Christ,” he says, low and reverent, and runs a thumb just under the swell of your breast, gentle, careful, like he’s afraid you’ll spook. “So fuckin’ pretty,” he mutters, and the words go straight to your cunt. You whine, grinding down against him on instinct, and he groans, hands darting out to steady you. He kisses you again, deeper this time, tongue tracing the seam of your lips until you part for him. You feel his hands everywhere—your back, your hips, your thighs—steadying you, coaxing you closer. His touch is a little rough around the edges, always bordering on too much, but never quite crossing the line. He’s so careful with you it almost breaks your heart. He pulls back long enough to look you up and down, like he’s memorizing you. There’s a heat in his eyes that makes you shiver, but it’s the possessiveness that really undoes you. Like he can’t believe you’re letting him see you like this.

“You’re fuckin’ perfect,” he growls, low and rough, and you nearly combust. You can’t stop touching him—his shoulders, his jaw, the back of his neck. He likes it, you can tell, because he keeps pressing you closer, like he wants to crawl inside your skin.

“Can I touch you?” you whisper. You don’t even recognize your own voice, breathy and shaking. Frank’s face goes soft, like you just handed him a live wire and told him to hold it for you.

“Baby, you can do whatever you want to me.” He grins, then kisses you again, slow and deep, while guiding your hands under his shirt. You run your fingers over his chest, all scars and muscle and heat. His skin is hot to the touch, the steady beat of his heart pounding under your palms. You dig your nails in, just a little, and Frank makes a sound that’s half-growl, half-moan, like he’s straining not to just take you apart right there.

“You good?” he asks again, voice ragged. You nod, then remember to say it:

“Yeah. Yes. I’m good—you’re…” You can’t finish the sentence, so you just kiss him again. It feels less scary now, more inevitable, like gravity. He lets you push him back against the couch, your thighs tight around his waist. His hands slip from your ribs to your ass, squeezing gently, like he’s testing how much you can take. You whimper, hips jerking forward, rubbing against the hard line of him through his sweats. Frank curses, low and frantic, and you get drunk on the sound.

“Shit, sweetheart,” he pants. “Gotta slow down or I’m gonna blow it before we even start.”

“Don’t slow down,” you say. “I want—” You don’t know how to finish the sentence. Frank does it for you.

“You want me?” He’s grinning, but his eyes are almost desperate.

“Yes,” you say. “Frank, I want you.” Something in him snaps. He reaches down, clearing his throat as he taps your thighs.

“Sit up, baby.” He hums. You lean forward, sitting up on your knees. His hands are slow and careful as they pull down your shorts, and you bite your bottom lip as he softly coaxes it off your legs. Your wet cunt soaks through your panties, and when you sit back down on his sweatpants, that extra barrier of tissue removed makes the strain in his pants much bigger against you. He’s hard as hell now, and you can feel the heat of him even through his boxers. Your thighs tremble. The air in the apartment seems thinner, more electric. Frank’s hands run reverently up your thighs, slow, no rush, but the tension in his arms says he’s holding himself back. It makes you feel powerful. It makes you feel safe.

“Gonna take these off, sweetheart,” he murmurs, thumb sliding under the band of your panties. He’s watching your face, checking for panic. There isn’t any. Not anymore. You nod, and he peels them down, slow, exposing you inch by inch. When the fabric finally drags off your ankles, you’re left straddling his lap, bare except for your tank top, skin goosepimpled and desperate. Frank’s hands splay wide over the soft meat of your ass, kneading you, warm and solid. He guides you forward, grinding you down against the bulge of his cock, and you gasp. The friction’s almost too much. Not enough. You can feel yourself slick up, can see it glistening on his gray sweats when you grind on him again.

“Fuck, look at you,” Frank rasps, voice tight. “So fuckin’ wet, baby.” Your face should be burning, but you just want more. You want him everywhere. You want to come apart all over him. It makes you brave.

“Can I see you?” you whisper, hands curling under the hem of his shirt. Frank doesn’t answer. He just lifts his arms, lets you peel the shirt up and off, revealing the wild scar-mapped planes of his chest, the ridges of muscle , the old bullet wound you once stitched shut with trembling hands. You run your fingertips over every inch, tracing him like you’re memorizing a map you’ll never get to visit again. He shivers under your touch.

“God,” you murmur, awe in your voice. He grins, lopsided and a little shy, and pulls you in for another kiss. This one’s dirtier—the way his tongue drags over yours, the way his hands squeeze your waist, the press of his cock as he grinds up into you. He’s leaking through his boxers now, hot and slick, and you rub yourself shamelessly against it, chasing the friction. Frank groans, deep and desperate.

“Easy, sweetheart,” he breathes. “We got time.” You don’t know how you’ll survive it. He nudges your thighs apart, makes a show of looking down at the space between your bodies. All his focus is on you: on your bare knees bracketing his hips, the hungry, worshipful way your chest rises and falls with each shaky breath. It’s more than he deserves, and he wants to say something gentle to you, but all that comes out is a low,

“Fuck, baby. You’re drivin’ me crazy.” You laugh, but it’s nervous, hands trembling a little as you brace them on his shoulders. Frank has to slow down, to make sure his hands are steady as he slides them up and down your sides. You’re soaking wet—so wet the slick’s already darkened the front of his sweats, and his cock is straining, thick and angry, beneath the fabric. The look on your face terrifies and thrills him, like you’re balancing right on the edge of a rooftop, dizzy from the height and the want. He wants to say something to make it easier.

“Hey. We can stop anytime, you hear me?” He cups your face in one big hand, thumb stroking your cheekbone. You nod, but the motion’s a little frantic, like you’re trying to prove you’re not scared. He’s never seen anyone so fucking brave.

“I don’t want to stop,” you whisper, voice shaking, “I just—” You squeeze your eyes shut, like you’re embarrassed. Your hands dig into his shoulders. “Frank, I don’t know what to do.” He nods, softly guiding your hands down to his sweats. He kisses your temple.

“Take these off.” Your hands fumble at the waistband, palms slick, vision swimming with nerves and need. You hook your fingers under the elastic and pull, unsure, but he lifts his hips to help and the gray cotton peels away easy as a wish. His cock springs free, heavy, flushed, the head slicked already, and you stare, breath burning in your throat.

He’s… god, he’s big.

You don’t even have enough data points to compare, but your brain still tries, and it short-circuits. Frank watches you with a patience that’s almost predatory, like he’s holding himself together with staples and baling wire. His hand covers yours, guiding it, and you curl your fingers delicately around the shaft. He hisses, jaw clenched, and the muscles in his thighs jump against your knees. Your thumb drags along the vein, and god, it’s hot, how responsive he is. How it makes him shudder.

“You’re a quick study,” Frank murmurs, voice gone low and rough. “Jesus.” He slides his hand up your thigh, kneading gently, and then reaches between them, thumb brushing over you where you’re soaked and swollen. The touch is electric, makes you jerk forward, grinding against his cock. The head bumps you clit, and you whimper, dizzy with it. He holds you by the hip, steadying, anchoring.

“You want to keep going, baby?” You nod, frantic and eager. He grins, but there’s an edge to it; it looks like he might snap in half from wanting her. You bite your bottom lip, face flushed. Frank’s watching your face hard.

“Hey. You okay?” You nod, eyes never leaving him. He’s so solid. So alive. The kind of body that absorbs bullets and wins bar fights and breaks things for a living. You want it inside you. That realization hits so hard it makes you whimper. Frank bites the inside of his cheek, hand gentle as it cups your jaw, pulling you back to him for a kiss. “Don’t gotta do anything you don’t want,” he rumbles. “Just say the word.” You shake your head.

“I want to. I just…” The words get stuck in your throat, so you scrape them out: “I don’t want to be bad at it.” Frank actually laughs, low, delighted.

“You’re not gonna be bad at anything, baby. Not with me.” He pulls you in and the kiss goes molten, needier, his hands anchoring your hips and rocking you down against his cock, bare now, the heat and velvet of it dizzying between your legs. He groans into your mouth, one hand finding your thigh and urging it higher, opening you more. The stretch is intense but perfect; you want to be wrecked by him, want to feel it for days. He strokes his thumb up and down your thigh and says, almost reverent,

“You’re dripping.” You hide your face in his neck, mortified, but his hand finds your hair and tugs you back, just a little, so you have to look at him. “Nothin’ to be nervous about,” he says softly. “This is supposed to feel good, sweetheart. Let me make it good for you.” You nod, not trusting your voice. Frank sucks in a harsh breath and lines himself up, guiding the head of his cock through your slick folds, rubbing slow circles right at your entrance. You see stars. Every part of you is wound so tight you feel like a strummed string.

“Gonna go slow, okay?” he murmurs. He’s all gentleness, which would piss you off if you weren’t so desperate for it. His cock pushes in, just the tip at first, and you gasp, hands flying to his shoulders for something to hold. There’s an ache, deep and unfamiliar, but it’s not bad. Not really. Frank watches your face, waiting for a flinch, for a stop, but you just nod and grind down, needing more. He exhales sharp, lets you take him another inch. Then another.

“There you go,” he says, voice a rumble in your chest, “you’re doing so good—shit, better than good, you’re doing fuckin’ amazing.” The pain is blinding. Stars explode behind your eyes, your eyes clenched shut. You’re clinging to him, shaking, every muscle locked up with that dizzying, too-much pressure. Your nails dig into his shoulders so hard he thinks he’ll feel them for days. The pain-pleasure blend is exquisite. Frank moves slow, gives you time, lets you adjust, but it’s still a stretch—he’s not small, and your body’s never done this before. He cups the back of your neck, thumb stroking over the spot just under your ear.

“Breathe, baby. That’s it. You’re doin’ perfect. All you gotta do is breathe for me.” You nod, jaw clenched, and force yourself to inhale. The ache eases a little, edges softening, and then you’re not so much impaled as full.

So, so full.

Like Frank is the only thing holding you to the world now, insides stretched almost to breaking, but in a way that makes you feel alive and forged. He’s not moving, just letting you get used to it. You try to shift, testing the fit, and holy shit, it’s… you have no words. It’s everything. His patience is infuriating and tender at once.

“Hurts?” he asks, all concern and hands.

“Yeah. But… not bad.” You burrow against him, seeking his pulse with your lips, needing the distraction. “Just—give me a second.” He does. He’d sit here all night if you needed, hold you open and safe, and never ask for more than you could give. But it doesn’t take long.

You’re greedy beneath the nerves, hips rolling forward for more before you’re halfway ready. Frank groans, the sound vibrating through her whole body, and drops his head back against the couch. His hands find your waist, bracing you, guiding every tentative movement. He’s letting you control this, but he’s not shy about what he wants, either; he helps you set a rhythm, each grind down taking him deeper, your slickness making it easier with every slow, careful stroke. Frank’s hands steady your hips, anchoring you to him, and every measured inch you take feels like the world dividing into before and after. Your thighs tremble, every muscle in yout legs a live wire; your knees dig into the worn cushion, and you’tr sure there will be bruises tomorrow, bruises shaped like Frank’s hands and your own hunger. You can’t imagine anything more perfect.

It’s all so much. Too much, and not enough. Every time you rocks your hips down, he lets you take what you want, but the stretch is so heavy it’s almost dizzying. Your breath comes out in little, shaky bursts, and your hands scrabble for purchase—his shoulders, the rough line of his jaw, the knotted muscle of his biceps. He likes that, you can tell by the way his whole body goes taut when she squeezes. You lose yourself in the mess of it, in the heat pressed chest-to-chest, in the pulse of his cock inside you, in the rasp of his voice when he says your name. You’re barely moving, just grinding yourself down, but it’s everything. Every inch you take feels like a little victory. Frank’s patience is a living thing, the tension in his arms shaking by the second, and the only way he lets it show is the bite of his fingers into you skin and the scruff of his jaw brushing you cheek.

“Attagirl,” he rumbles, voice shredded. “You’re takin’ me so fuckin’ good.” You whimper, overwhelmed. The pain’s still there, but smaller now, a bright spot eclipsed by the full, shuddering pleasure carving up your spine. You shift your hips forward again and the angle changes and—oh—your thighs lock up with the shock of it. You gasp, head falling forward onto his shoulder, hair falling between your faces. Frank groans, arms squeezing you so tight you can barely breathe, and the sound is so raw, so animal, you want to cry. You try to move, to find a rhythm, but it’s awkward at first, your body still learning the mechanics. Frank seems to sense it, thumbs stroking slow circles into your hip bones, talking you through it with broken little instructions.

“Just like that,” he says, his hand guiding the small of your back. “Easy, sweetheart. Let me help you.” He moves with you, not against, and suddenly it clicks, your hips rolling forward and up, down, forward and up, and his cock—God, it’s so deep—rubs along something inside you that makes your whole body lock up. You cry out, surprised. Frank’s teeth find your shoulder, biting down just enough to ground you, and then he’s kissing the spot, like an apology.

“Good?” he grits out, barely holding on. You nod, but it’s not enough, so you rock down harder, desperate for more. The friction is brutal, the stretch never-ending, and you want it to last forever and end now, all at once. You grab his face in both hands and kisses him, messy, desperate, Your tears breaking loose and trailing down your nose onto his face. Frank's breath hitches, and for a second, you think you've broken him. His whole body goes rigid under you, and then he's kissing you again, harder this time, like he's trying to crawl inside you through your mouth. One of his hands slides up your back, fisting in your hair, holding you in place while the other grips your hip, guiding you into a rhythm that's less tentative and more purposeful.

"Fuck, baby," he pants against your lips. You try to laugh, but it comes out as a choked sob. You're overwhelmed—by the sensation, by the emotion, by the sheer Frankness of it all. He's everywhere. His scent, his taste, the feel of his scarred skin under your hands, the sound of his ragged breathing in your ear. It's a sensory overload that threatens to short-circuit your brain.

"Frank," you whimper, burying your face in his neck again. "I can't—"

"Yes, you can," he growls, cutting you off. He shifts his hips, pulling out almost all the way before pushing back in, slow and deliberate. The drag of him against your inner walls is exquisite, a perfect, friction-filled agony that makes your toes curl. "Feel that? That's you takin' me. That's you, sweetheart. All you." You nod, but it's a frantic, desperate motion. You're chasing something, a feeling building deep in your belly, a coil of heat that gets tighter with every thrust. Frank seems to sense it, his movements becoming a little more forceful, a little more confident. He's still letting you set the pace, but he's not just a passive participant anymore. He's an active force, a storm you're willingly riding.

"God, you're tight," he grits out, his voice strained. "So fuckin' tight for me. Squeezin' me so good." His words are filthy, but his tone is reverent, and the combination is heady. It makes you feel powerful, desired, like you're the only thing in the world that matters. You rock your hips faster, matching his rhythm, the awkwardness of before replaced by a desperate, primal need. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, a vulgar, beautiful symphony that's all yours. Frank's hands are everywhere now—one gripping your ass, the other sliding up your back to trace the line of your spine. He's mapping you, claiming you, and you've never felt more seen. Your head falls back and Frank lets out a low guttural groan, his hands squeezing your waist to help you grind against you harder.

The new angle is a revelation. It’s like he’s found a secret switch inside you, one you didn’t even know existed. The head of his cock drags against a spot so sensitive, so electric, that a sharp cry tears from your throat. Your back arches, a deep, involuntary curve that presses your breasts against his chest, and your hands fly from his shoulders to tangle in his hair, holding on for dear life.

“Jesus,” Frank grunts, his voice a raw, ragged thing. He’s watching you, his eyes dark and intense, drinking in every flicker of pleasure that crosses your face. “Right there, huh? Found it.” He doesn’t sound surprised. He sounds like a hunter who’s finally cornered his prey. He does it again, a deliberate, grinding roll of his hips that sends a shockwave of pure, unadulterated bliss through your entire system.

Your answer is a broken moan, your hips moving on their own now, chasing that feeling, chasing him. The rhythm is frantic, messy, desperate. You’re no longer thinking, no longer worrying about being good at it or doing it right. You’re just feeling. Every nerve ending is on fire, every muscle in your body strung tight as a bowstring. The coil in your belly is winding tighter and tighter, a hot, heavy pressure that promises an explosion.

“Frank, Frank, Frank,” you chant his name like a prayer, a mantra, the only word your brain can still form. It’s a plea and a praise all at once.

“I got you, baby,” he growls, his voice strained with the effort of holding back, of letting you lead. His hands are bruising on your hips now, his grip the only thing keeping you grounded as you start to lose yourself to the sensation. Your thighs are trembling, your whole body on fire as your hands slide up to tangle in his hair.

You've only ever come on your own fingers.

This.. This feels different.

The pressure building in your stomach is tighter, more feral.

It’s not a wave you can ride out. It’s a dam breaking. A fault line splitting open. The pressure in your stomach doesn't just crest; it detonates. A sharp, guttural cry is ripped from your throat as your entire body seizes, your back bowing so violently you’re surprised you don’t snap in two. Your inner walls clamp down on him, a rhythmic, pulsing grip that you have no control over, and the world dissolves into a blinding, white-hot static of pure, unadulterated pleasure. Your eyes go wide, at the feeling, thinking something is wrong.

"Oh my god, Frank- I - I might- I don't-"

"No, no, baby, hey, look at me." Frank's voice cuts through your panic, rough with his own impending release but sharp with command. His hands leave your hips, one flying up to cup your jaw, forcing your wide, terrified eyes to meet his. "It's not wrong. You're not wrong. You're just feelin' it. Let it happen. That's it, that's the good part." His thumb strokes over your cheekbone, a frantic, grounding motion.

"Don't fight it. Jesus Christ, don't you fuckin' fight it, just let go." Frank’s name is a shattered gasp on your lips as you shatter, your nails digging into his scalp, your body convulsing with the force of it. It’s endless, a series of crippling, ecstatic spasms that wrack you from the inside out, leaving you a trembling, boneless mess in his arms.

“Fuck,” Frank snarls, the sound torn from his own chest as your orgasm drags him over the edge with you. The tight, milking grip of your cunt is too much, a final, perfect torment. He buries himself to the hilt with a hoarse, desperate groan, his hips jerking as he pours himself into you. You feel the hot, pulsing rush of his release, a deep, primal claiming that seems to go on forever, his body shuddering against yours with the force of it. For a long, stretched-out moment, you’re both frozen, locked together in the eye of the storm. The only sounds are the frantic, ragged pulls of your breaths and the frantic hammering of his heart against your ribs. You’re limp, a dead weight in his lap, every muscle liquefied, your brain a blissful, static-filled void. You’ve never felt so completely wrecked. So completely whole.

Your entire body is spasming in his grip.

Frank’s breathing is still ragged against your throat, his arms locked around you like if he loosens his grip for even a second you’ll disappear. Your whole body trembles uncontrollably, tiny aftershocks rippling through your thighs and stomach, and he notices every single one.

“Easy,” he murmurs, voice wrecked soft now. “Easy, sweetheart. I got you.” His palm slides up and down your spine slowly, grounding you back into your body piece by piece. You’re still shaking so hard your teeth almost chatter. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this exposed before. Not physically.

Emotionally.

Frank presses a kiss to your damp temple, then another to your cheek, slower this time. Careful. Like he’s trying to soothe the very nerves he just set on fire.

“You okay?” he asks again quietly. You nod weakly against his shoulder.

“I think my soul left my body.” That earns a rough little laugh out of him. The sound vibrates warm against your skin.

“Yeah,” he mutters. “Mine too.” Your muscles finally start unlocking enough for you to realize how boneless you’ve gone in his lap. Frank shifts carefully beneath you with a low grunt, one hand rubbing your thigh.

“C’mere,” he says softly. “Lemme clean you up.” You make a tiny noise of protest when he helps lift you off him. The sudden emptiness makes you whine before you can stop yourself, legs trembling violently the second your knees touch the mattress. Frank freezes like the sound nearly killed him.

“Jesus Christ,” he rasps. You bury your burning face in his shoulder immediately.

“Don’t.”

“No, sweetheart, you don’t get it,” he says, sounding half tortured. “You keep makin’ noises like that and I’m gonna need another minute.”

“You are such a pig,” you mumble.

“Correct.” You hear the smile in his voice. Then he reaches for the discarded t-shirt on the floor beside the couch, gentle again as he wipes carefully between your thighs. You hiss softly at the sensitivity, instinctively trying to squirm away.

“I know,” he murmurs immediately. “I know. Sorry, baby.” The nickname settles warm in your chest now instead of frightening you. Frank glances down as he cleans you up. Then pauses. You notice the tiny streak of red a second later. Your stomach drops.

“Oh my God.” Frank looks up instantly.

“What?”

“There’s blood.” Panic climbs your throat so fast it makes your voice pitchy. “Frank, there’s— I—did I start my period? Oh my God, am I bleeding? Did something tear?” Your breathing starts speeding up again immediately. “Jesus Christ, am I dying?” For one single second he just stares at you. Then a startled laugh bursts out of him. Not mocking. Just genuinely caught off guard.

“Baby,” he says gently, trying very hard not to smile now. “You are not dyin’.” You blink at him, horrified.

“There’s blood!”

“Yeah.” He brushes his thumb soothingly against your knee. “That can happen your first time.” You stare.

“…what?” His expression softens instantly at your confusion.

“You were a virgin,” he says carefully. “Little bleeding’s normal sometimes. Especially ‘cause I got carried away.” Guilt flickers briefly across his face at that last part. “You ain’t hurt bad. Promise.” Your entire body floods with relief so intense you nearly flop sideways.

“Oh my God.” Frank finally chuckles properly now, rubbing a hand down his face. You hide your face against his shoulder with a groan of humiliation while Frank keeps quietly laughing above you, warm chest rumbling beneath your cheek.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you mutter.

“I ain’t makin’ fun.” Another tiny laugh immediately betrays him. “Okay, maybe a little.”

“You’re awful.”

“Mm.” His hand slides lazily up and down your thigh. “Still alive though, right?” You smack weakly at his chest. Frank catches your wrist easily, bringing your knuckles to his mouth for one absentminded kiss before helping tug your shirt back down properly over your stomach. The tenderness of it nearly kills you more than the sex did. You let him guide you sideways across his lap once you’re dressed again, your legs draped over the couch cushions while he settles back with a long exhale. His fingers trace idle circles against the soft skin just above your knee, grounding and warm. The apartment feels different now.

Quieter. Softer. Like something huge shifted without either of you knowing how to name it yet. You stare at the wall for a long second before mumbling:

“I really thought I was bleeding internally.” That gets another laugh out of him, fuller this time. He drops his head briefly against yours.

“Baby, you work in medicine.”

“Not vagina medicine. And my parents never really taught me this stuff. They assumed Karen would.” Frank barks out an actual laugh at that, shoulders shaking beneath you. You can’t help smiling a little yourself.

“Fair point,” he admits. Silence settles again after that. Comfortable this time. His fingers never stop moving against your leg. Then quieter:

“You okay?” he asks again. Not physically. Everything. The emotion in his voice catches you off guard. You tilt your head enough to look up at him. Frank’s eyes are already on you, darker now without all the urgency from before. There’s still heat there, sure—but underneath it is something almost nervous. Like he’s waiting for you to regret this.

Regret him.

Your chest aches suddenly.

“I’m okay,” you say softly. His whole body loosens at that. Tiny. Almost invisible. But you feel it. Frank swallows once, gaze dropping briefly to where his hand rests on your thigh.

“I know tonight was a lot,” he says carefully. “And I know I probably shoulda slowed down more—”

“You did slow down.” His eyes flick back to yours.

“You were scared.”

“I was nervous,” you correct quietly. “Not scared of you.” That one lands somewhere deep. You see it happen in real time. Frank goes still. Your fingers slide up over the back of his hand, threading through his.

“I trusted you,” you admit. He stares at you like the words physically hurt him. Then he leans down and presses his forehead against yours, eyes closing.

“Christ,” he whispers roughly. One of his arms tightens around your waist. Not possessive. Protective. Careful with you in a way nobody ever has been before. “You got no idea what that means to me,” he says softly. Your face falls and you reach up, wincing at the pull in your legs. You reach up, wincing slightly as your body reminds you it’s still catching up to everything that just happened. Frank notices immediately—of course he does.

“Hey,” he says softly, catching your wrist before you can push yourself too far. “Easy. Don’t go doin’ that.”

“I’m fine,” you insist automatically. Frank gives you a look that says he does not believe a single word of that.

"Sweetheart, you just impaled yourself on my dick for your first time. I have reason to worry."

You freeze.

Then slowly turn your head to look at him.

“…you’re going to make me die of embarrassment after I survived everything else?”

Frank doesn’t even pretend to feel bad.

A faint, crooked grin tugs at his mouth. “Seems fair.”

You groan and drop your forehead against his chest, fully intending to disappear into him as a person.

He huffs a quiet laugh, the sound rumbling under you, and his hand immediately comes up to your hair—slower now, soothing instead of teasing.

“Hey,” he says again, softer. “I’m not makin’ fun of you.”

“Yes you are.”

“A little,” he admits.

You make a small, muffled sound of protest. Frank presses a kiss into the top of your head like he’s apologizing anyway.

"Y'know what this means, right baby ?" He asks, his hand trailing up and down your side.

"No. Enlighten me." He squeezes you into him as he leans over and reaches for his beer. He sits back down, groaning as he takes a sip and presses the cold bottle to the back of your neck.

"You're never fuckin' gettin' rid of me. I was your first time." He says. You roll your eyes.

"Oh, shut up, Frank." He laughs.

"No, no, i'm serious. I should get like.. a certificate. Frame it and put it up on the wall where everyone can see when they walk in-"

"Oh my god, Frank."

"—'Certificate of Deflowering: Awarded to Frank Castle for Services Rendered Above and Beyond the Call of Duty.'" You can't help it, a snort of laughter escapes you muffled against his chest. The cold bottle against your neck is a shock, but a pleasant one, grounding you in the ridiculous, wonderful reality of the moment.

"Oh my God," you groan, lifting your head just enough to glare at him. "You are the worst human being I have ever met."

"Yep," he says, popping the 'p' with absolute relish. He takes another swig of his beer, his eyes crinkling at the corners with amusement. "And the man who just took your virginity on a couch that's probably seen at least three separate gunfights. So, you know. We all have our complexities."

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Duncan the Tall

Years on the road made him adaptable, can (and will) fall asleep anywhere. He is huge, so any position he falls asleep in is immediately classified as sprawling. If he is fortunate enough to have a bed, it's as simple as it gets. A blanket and a small pillow are more than enough, given that he is used to sleeping on the ground under the stars (which he actually prefers). Sleeps deeply from the general physical exhaustion that comes with travelling, but unfamiliar noises can wake him. If you are travelling with him, he would try to find inns for you to sleep in, but you would always persuade him to sleep outside. You love it best when you are tucked underneath him, and he is both a shield and a blanket to you. His arm? Best pillow ever.

modern Duncan sleeps on some raggedy couch he found someone giving away on facebook marketplace, and he is genuinely fine with how he either crams to fit or lets his feet dangle off the armrest. after the two of you move in together, your largest expense is a proper super king-sized bed, and this guy is sleeping like a log, and his entire body fits for the first time ever. hogs all the blankets. sleeps in pajama bottoms only, no matter the weather. likes having the window open.

Aerion Targaryen

They invented the word lavish for this man. Silk sheets, embroidered pillows, expensive furs, softest blankets. Everything about him must reflect his status. Crazy enough to demand that his bedding be changed daily. A ton of pillows on the bed. His sleeping habits? Depends on his mood. If he is unprovoked, he sleeps like a baby, on his back, cocooned among his pillows. If, however, he is brooding and psychotic, he stays awake for three days straight, generally growing more and more unstable, throws everything on his bed all over the room, and then crashes on the floor for 19 hours. Twitches in his sleep. With you, his favourite position is lying on his stomach, his head on your belly, as you lightly scratch his head, his arms, his back. Purrs like a kitten dragon.

modern Aerion is the type of guy who, if he's sleeping at someone's place, demands their room and then criticizes everything about it. blood-red silk pajamas, embroidered with his name. still demands bedding to be changed daily just because he can, until he moves in with you, and you make him change the bedding for the first time in his life; then he sees what a hassle that is, so you are back to a normal bedding-changing schedule. bedroom littered with expensive scented candles. room temperature is a furnace. childhood bed couldn't be seen from the mountain of dragon plushies he had on, and would force Maekar to say goodnight to each and every one of them every night when he would tuck him in (no papa, that one is Vhagar, Balerion is the black one, now apologize to them, papa).

Daeron Targaryen

Poor baby Daeron. Sleeps wherever he collapses after drinking - curled on one side, face-down, or tangled in blankets. Maekar finds him and carries him to bed. Wakes up in the night, disoriented. Bed is meant to be luxurious, but frequently left messy. Half-empty wine cups, discarded clothing, books and papers scattered everywhere. Sweats and twitches in his sleep. Also, if he's drunk, he snores. If his dreams are plaguing him, screams and cries in his sleep. Positions alternate from face-down spread like a star to curled up like a fetus. With you, though, as he is trying to stay away from the bottle, favourite position is being the little spoon: safe in your embrace, falls asleep enveloped by your scent, as you sing lullabies to him.

modern Daeron sleeps in his day clothes as he just plops on the bed, or pajamas that haven't been washed in weeks. his bed is actually just a mattress on the floor. owns 2 bedsheets, both have holes in them. sleeps fitfully, wakes often, gets at most 4 hours of sleep at night. you refuse to sleep at his place, so he finally goes out and buys a proper bed, but the task of changing the sheets is all on you. you buy him a star projector nighlight and a white noise machine, and they help calm him and fall into a deep sleep, and he actually gets a good 6 hours now. still loves being the little spoon. sleptwalk as a child. Maekar removed all the window handles and had all the doors locked, and would always return him to bed (because every noise wakes that man up). talks in his sleep. naps often.

Valarr Targaryen

Side sleeper through and through, prefers the left. Generally gets a good night's sleep, sometimes is a bit tense from all the expectations put on him as Baelor's heir. Elegant bed, but not excessive, still has the blanket (or remnants of it) his mother made while pregnant with him. Two pillows for sleeping and one decorative that he places on the side chair when he goes to sleep. Dislikes furs. When his face scrunches, you always soothe the wrinkles between his forehead with the pad of your finger, or a light kiss, and he relaxes immediately. Not much tossing or turning, maybe he switches the side he sleeps on. Lightly drools when fully relaxed (or he had a few drinks before bed). Goes to sleep and wakes at the same hours every day.

modern Valarr prides himself on how neat he makes his bed. Baelor taught him when he was a kid, and he has kept that habit. his pet peeve of yours is that you don't make the bed good enough, so you compromised: he does the bed, you water the plants. forbids food and drinks in bed. his nightstand has a lamp, a glass of water, his glasses, and a book he reads for twenty minutes before sleeping. likes a colder room, rotates the pillow to the colder side. owns a weighted blanket.

Maekar Targaryen

Sleeps ramrod straight, on his back. Almost doesn't move. Breathes quietly. Years of military campaigns mean he's accustomed to waking at the slightest unusual sound, the sort of person to be fully awake in seconds if disturbed. His bed does not reflect his royal status: firm mattress, plain wool blankets, one measly pillow, with a dagger under it, one hand on its hilt. Never shows softness consciously, and it is obvious even when he sleeps, with tense jaw, furrowed brows, shoulders never fully relaxed. With you, though, things change completely. His bed is now adorned with pillows, blankets, and furs. Weapons are banned. Maekar scoffs and growls, but doesn't say anything. The truth is, he is getting the best sleep of his life with you in his arms. One arm always draped possessively over your stomach, nose burrowed in your neck, legs tangled, as if he's trying to mold the two of you together. His whole body is relaxed, and he even snores lightly. If he ever has to sleep without you, he sprays some of the oils you put in your hair on the pillow so it smells like you, and just burrows his face in it for the night. You love to run your fingers through his hair and beard before bed, because you can see how touch starved that man is, and how the tension leaves him as you continue caressing him.

modern Maekar puts all his kids to bed and reads them bedtime stories. still a light sleeper. groans as he gets in bed. mastered the whole military 'two-minutes-to-fall-asleep' technique. Maekar Targaryen sleeps naked, send tweet. does have a nightrobe though. has blackout curtains. room furniture is expensive, but minimalistic. until you bring all your tchatchkis. personally offended by your childhood plushie you bring over (gets flashback to Aerion's childhood). refuses to fuck you if that thing is on the bed (you stuff it in the nightstand). if you move apart during the night, pulls you back to him. growls when you get up before him; can't really sleep after you leave. does not understand the purpose of decorative pillows. no TVs, phones, or computers allowed in the bedroom.

Baelor Targaryen

Goes to bed after everyone else, rises before the sun. Sleeps enough to remain sharp; the realm needs him, so he cannot indulge himself in the luxury of sleep. He falls asleep not because he's tired, but because he decides to. Large bed, with fine linens and practical blankets, keeps everything tidy. Does like a firmer pillow. Sleeps on his back, but almost like he is moving to lie on his side, arms folded on his torso. Even though he works himself to the bone, he has a rule to not bring any scrolls, papers, or correspondence to his bedroom. Murmurs in his sleep, his brain never not working. Snores softly, like a quiet rumble when he's deeply exhausted. With you, though, he is much more relaxed. Tries to go to bed at a reasonable time, because he loves the late-night conversations between the two of you. He lies on his back, and you're curled to his side, your head pressed to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Legs tangled, one of his hands combing gently through your hair as you play with the fingers and trace patterns on the palm of his other hand. Hates leaving you in the morning. Always dropping forehead kisses when he has you in his arms. When Valarr and Matarys were younger, he would always allow them to sleep in his bed if they asked.

modern Baelor does not go to bed without a cup of tea, with honey (never sugar) and a splash of milk. aerates the room before bed. sleeps in proper pajamas, goes feral when he sees you sleeping in one of his shirts. always kicks one leg out from under the covers. you practically sleep on top of him, and your hair always ends up in his face. he's used to it by now. doesn't move much, heartbeat slow, breath steady, naturally warm. sleeps soundly, but wakes instantly if you whisper his name. does not need an alarm to wake up, instinctively reaches to your side of the bed. owns the softest blankets and pillows known to man. if you fall asleep on the couch, he always carries you to bed. forehead kisses, even when he's half-asleep. loves to sleep when it rains, finds storms oddly comforting.

bonus: Aegon Targaryen

In every single universe that kid takes up all the space in bed, spread like a star. Maekar has received several kicks to his jaw when he allowed Aegon in bed (he tries to be brave after a nightmare, but always runs to his father. Maekar grunts, but always relents). Snores and talks in his sleep. If awoken by a nightmare, loves to snuggle to calm down.