SPARKS
pairing: john logan x f!reader , dean di laurentis x f!reader
summary: the night you realise that the sweet hockey player that has been consistently hitting on you is really just using you as a distraction to get over your best friend hannah wells.
warnings: angst angst angst, a lil comfort at the end, indian!reader, dance major!reader (tho these two only matter if i publish this on wp, on here these are barely significant)
a/n: this is an excerpt (?) from a story that i was planning on publishing on wp but wasn’t too sure about so im posting this here to see if anyone would be interested at all and im litr begging yall to comment your thoughts if you read this and tell me if you’d wanna read it on there or not bcs im not planning on continuing it here so if i do get a positive response ill def publish a story on wp PLSPLSPLS COMMENT AND LEMME KNOW 💔🙏🏻
and if you see any mistakes, i wrote this sleep deprived so pls don’t judge 💔
the photo is for aesthetic purposes only, it has nothing to do with skin colour. this is just how i imagined the aesthetic of the fmc when i was writing.
a loud giggle made its way out of my mouth as hannah took my hand in hers and spinned me in a circle as she sang ‘cherry pie’ by warrant, completely drunk and more confident than she’s ever been in her entire life. when my spin completed, my other hand immediately found allie’s and the three of us sang together, laughing and dancing, vibing to the beat as the spirit of the karaoke night completely took over the three of us.
when hannah finally made her way back to the stage, i let out a little laugh and turned to walk to the bar to get something to drink. reaching the bar, i ordered a chocolate martini before turning to take a look at hannah on the stage again, a wide grin making its way onto my face as i watched her have fun. after everything that has happened, my best friend deserved one night of drunken fun where she didn’t need to worry about anyone or anything else. and to be honest? i was extremely proud of her for getting over her fear and finally finding the courage to drink in public and as much as he annoyed the shit out of me, i was also very grateful to garrett graham for helping her let go and truly have fun after all this time.
instinctively, my eyes roamed around the diner slash bar, watching the people having the time of their life. people dancing, people drinking, a couple making out in the corner that nobody paid attention to, and —
john logan.
i’d watched him come in earlier, dressed in that brown shirt with that damned silver chain peeking over the black t-shirt he wore under and for a second i’d felt myself falter. my heart did the weird thing that they describe in the books where it feels like it skipped a stupid fucking beat even though it was physically impossible to happen and i had thought for a split second, very stupidly, to go up to him before i mentally slapped myself back into shape and looked away. he was hot, there was no doubt in that, but i didn’t chase. ever. and if i did start a conversation with him, i would definitely be losing the game we’ve been playing, so i held back. john logan can look as hot and delicious as he wants, i was not losing.
as i looked at him now though? with that small pretty little smile on his face? and those puppy like yearning eyes shining in the low lighting of the bar? the game was the last fucking thing on my mind. because no matter how much i liked to tell him that he was a condescending asshole and his pretty face didn’t affect me whatsoever? deep down i knew it wasn’t true. somehow, someway, in the past few weeks, john logan had actually managed to grown on me. no matter how much i pushed, he had, god knows how, managed to crawl his way into a small little corner of my heart where his gorgeous, gorgeous, self had made himself a cosy little home. and the way he was smiling right now as he looked — at hannah?
my eyes shook, the glow in them flickering like a nearly dead tube light as i moved them between logan’s face and who his eyes were focused at. it doesn’t make any sense, i thought. it doesn’t make any sense that he’s looking at her like that, it just — it doesn’t make any sense… unless, john fucking logan played me. he was looking at her the same way he had pretended to look at me. i could tell because he had that same dazed look on his face that he got when i gave him bits and pieces of the attention he so badly desired from me, except tonight his eyes shined in a way they had never done when he was with me, and that goddamned smile was softer tonight. soft in a way that i didn’t even think was possible. when he smiled at me, it was wide and excited, but the smile on his face in this moment was soft in the type of way i had always wished someone would look at me with. and every part of me resented myself for thinking how pretty it looked a second ago.
for a second i lost my breath. the crowd was too much, the music was too much, the smell of alcohol, logan, everything was too much. i needed to get out. my feet seemed to be on autopilot as i walked past the crowd and ended up outside taking a deep breath of fresh air in and letting it out to calm myself down.
john logan had fucking played me.
he very clearly had feelings for my fucking best friend and all these past few weeks that he had spent chasing after me was him using me as a damn distraction. and i, like the stupid fucking bitch that i am, had actually let him get close to me.
a bitter scoff made its way through my throat and out of my mouth, angry tears pooling in my eyes at my own stupidity and at how i had lowered my walls without realising and let him in my life enough for this to actually sting. i wasn’t in love with john logan or something but i had started to like him in the small way you do before you eventually do fall in love and to find out that it had all been fake? fuck, that hurt.
the little on top of the of door to malone’s rung as the door opened, “hey,”
oh, i knew that voice.
“what are you doing out here?” i could practically hear the cheesy smile on his face that he always got when talking to me. i stood still, my back facing him as i breathed in and out with a blank expression on my face looking forward. his footsteps were clear as day in my ears when he walked around me so he could see my face, “you should know by now that not answering me — ” his words and halted and the smile on his face vanished when he looked at me with only tears in my eyes and a face that didn’t say anything.
“oh, woah, hey, baby, what’s wrong?” he stepped closer, concern on his face and in his eyes, his hands coming up to hold my arms before they slid down to grip my hands. my hands tightened around his too, eyes darting to them to see how carefully he held them in his. someone get this man a fucking oscar bro, i thought, he’s really good at making it look like he has feelings for me or something.
i licked my lips and bit my lower one for a second before i looked up at his waiting face. i let go his left hand and brought my now free right hand up to hold the side his face and caressed his cheek, he leaned into my touch, “hi, hey, do you wanna talk?” he whispered softly, looking at me with those shining eyes and a small smile. i scoffed out a smile that stayed for a second before falling away, his smile widening just a little as he shifted his face even closer into my hand even though it wasn’t possible. the tears in my eyes had dried by now before they ever got to fall, and only one thought remained in my head, whether he ever liked me or not, i was going to make sure it stung him as fucking bad as it did me.
my hands fell away from his face and his grip when i stepped back, the small smile on his face turning confused as his eyes searched mine for any clue on what was happening.
“i’ve gotta give it you john, you’re a really good fucking actor.” i smiled bitterly.
“what? what — what are you talking about?” he stammered, confused and stepping close.
“oh, you know,” i gave him a shrug and stepped further away “about how you’ve been pretending to like me for the past few weeks while you actually had a crush on my best friend.” realisation dawned on his face and was followed with denial.
“i — i don’t — no, this — this is a misunderstanding, baby, listen — ” his hand raised up to hold my arm before i slapped it away and hurt flashed all over his face. i had been rude and mean before but none of those times did i actually have any bite behind my words and actions like i did now.
“jules was right. you really do want things you can’t have, pretend or not.” he stilled. “i don’t have to listen to anything. i know exactly what happened here, actually. you used me. you used me as a fucking distraction to get over my best friend. you chased after me and told me you liked me because doing all of that meant you wouldn’t have enough time to think about how you had a crush on your best friend’s girlfriend.” and that stung him the same way his face when he looked at hannah had stung me. good. i may feel like a bitch right now, but good.
“i do like you! just — please — ” i cut him off, “please what? listen to you? i saw you, logan. i saw you looking at her. i saw the way you looked at her and you definitely don’t look at me like that. you don’t fucking like me. not the way you like her.” i spit out as i march to my car, pulling out my key from my jacket’s pocket.
“no, no, fuck, no, that’s not true, just please, baby, hear me out, please!” he chases after me, his voice filled with panic. i turn sharply when i reach my car, “so you didn’t approach me to use me as a distraction to get over hannah?” say no. tell me that i’ve got it all wrong, that what i saw in there was just me making stuff up in my head and that you never liked her. tell me i’m wrong. tell me you liked me the way i started to like you.
he doesn’t.
instead, he says what i already knew and didn’t want to hear.
“yes, fuck, but — ” i scoff and open the door to the drivers side and slide in, closing the door behind me.
even more panic takes over his face as he frantically explains or says things that don’t make it to my ear. i start the car, the engine coming to life and tears start pooling in my eyes again while i pull out of the parking lot. logan’s hand is on the window as he, from what i can tell, begs me in panic to not leave and hear him out, though none of it can be heard inside.
an hour later, after that dramatic ass exit, i ended up at the hockey house.
his house.
this is all allie hayes’ fault.
after i drove off on logan, i stopped straight at the dorm building and realised that my keys to our dorm were in allies’ purse and on calling allie, i was informed by garrett that she had forgotten her purse at the bar so they were crashing at the house. with no other option, i had to come over like garrett asked me to.
but apparently the universe thought i was born to be joke, so it sent dean di laurentis my way to ruin my night even more by letting him almost have a threesome over me as allie slept like a baby on the other side of the couch.
give me a fucking break.
and now somehow dean and i sat outside by the pool as if we have been friends forever and i didn’t tear into one of his best friends for using me to get over my best friend just an hour ago.
dean took a drag from the joint in his hand and stole a glance at me that i caught from my peripheral vision for the third time in the past five minutes we have been sitting here.
i let out a sigh, “what?” i turned my head to look at him.
“what?” he asked back, trying to act like he hadn’t been trying to find an opening to talk. seriously, what is it with these hockey men and acting?
“you clearly want to ask something. it’s all over your face dude. ask.” i order.
“you and logan.” the words he spoke so cautiously, as if afraid of my reaction to them, are def not what i was expecting. what about me and logan? no, woah, there is no me and logan. there never was a me and logan. and why is he asking anyway? but that is not what i say. there is no way i’m doing vulnerability with dean di laurentis of all people.
“what?” i asked in a clipped voice.
“i saw you two outside of malone’s. fighting, from what it looked like. well, actually, you were speaking, he just kept looking at you with sad puppy eyes.” logan looked at me with sad puppy eyes?
“that’s none of your business.” i said.
there was silence between us for exactly 30 seconds before i broke because i have never been able to not talk about my shit to at least one person after it happens.
“he used me as a distraction to get over his crush on hannah.” i mutter under my breath, staring intently at the pool water like it had the solution to all ninety nine of my problems.
“he had a crush on hannah?!” he whisper yelled.
“i thought he had a crush on you. i mean he’s been all over you for weeks now.” he says like he can’t believe what i’m saying, which, fair, if i hadn’t seen it myself i wouldn’t either. that’s how obsessed logan has acted about me for weeks.
“yeah, i know.” i mumble with no energy.
“so, what now?” he takes another drag from the joint.
“what?” i finally look at him again, confusion clear as day on my face.
“what are you gonna do now?” he looks at me like i should very obviously know the answer to whatever that question means.
“what do i… do?” i remain as confused as i was.
he sighs with a little smile on his face that’s barely there but makes his face look much softer and stares at me for three seconds exact before saying, “give me your phone.”
“why?” i ask even though i take it out of my pocket and hand it over. he unlocked it using face lock by putting the phone in front of my face which got him a grunt in response from me and then i just stare at him with confusion and judgement blending together when he starts typing and speaking simultaneously.
“when you start spiralling and get in your head about what all of it meant, which you will, you’re gonna need a fun ride to distract you.” he finished typing his number in and saved it as ‘dean’ in my contacts.
“sorry dude, i don’t do roller coasters.” i stare into his eyes for a second even after i already took the phone back and then turn to his saved contact on my phone and change his contact name from ‘dean’ to ‘🚨DO NOT CALL🚨’ , to which he lets out a small amused chuckle, as if anything about tonight has been funny.
hockey men piss me off.
if you guys read this, plsplspls read the a/n at the top.
