d🎀💗

the strain in ilya's voice, the rigid disbelief in his face when shane gets up and leave. the slanted smile with no humour or mockery. he sees this all coming apart right in front of him and he can't even do anything about it cause he established this as no strings, no commitment. and what, he's gonna suddenly show that part of himself? when shane is already halfway gone, he's going to bare his neck and let shane finish this slow killing? he pushed it, too far. he pushed shane. he lost hold of this. he lost shane. he calls him hollander. see, nothing's changed. we can go back to before, it's fine, i swear it's fine, please please please

heated rivalry the book is like oh the major obstacle to this romance is that they can't be together in public <3. heated rivalry the show is like oh the major obstacle to this romance is toxic hypermasculinity and male loneliness and the devastating downstream effects of unacknowledged, unresolved trauma and verbal abuse on boys who are expected not to feel