just some thoughts

We met on a hot summer day

You came into my life like a refreshing breeze

And I'm trying to not need you.

I want you to want me for who i really am

And I'm a girl who loves daydreaming on paper

When i daydream of you, I see the little stars that live in yours eyes

They shine just like your smile

brightening every dark corner of my mind.

I don't think i need u

But I want you.

To refresh my summer days again

Breath me in, and let me be part of you.

And as the summer fades away

I spend my days watching the sky go dark from blue

Always having you in my heart

In a light and fun way.

I can't help remembering you.

Thinking that I could do this forever

I could stay here forever

                 Just

                      Like

When I'm the most broken I like to look at myself in the mirror,

I just want to hug me and tell me that everything is going to be okay.

I look at my red eyes and I see the pain,

I feel the warm tears running down my face and I feel the pain.

My cold fingers stroking my cheeks and it hurts.

I end up smiling.

It's just funny... if you think about...

This moments are also the ones when I feel the most pretty.

I dont know what it is.

I think that if I think I'm beautiful I won't feel like hurting myself,

Because we don't hurt what we like visually.

Well, I stay broken, I stay felling and I stay wishing.

My inner child is so hurt and its so hard to take care of both of us.

She desires only love,

a type of love that is so rare nowadays;

she didn't received that love when it was the moment

and now I have to deal with it.

She wants hugs,

I don't have anyone to hug me.

She wants to talk about her day,

no one is interested in listen to me.

She wants to hear that everything's gonna be ok when she cries.

I don't even have tears anymore.

all my life i feel like im waiting for something to happen, i dont know what it is.

i just cant enjoy the moment.

i was like this since i was a child... "i will be completely happy at 15 i can feel it" i used to think.

i was not happy at 15, in fact i was very very depressed.

"maybe if i can get through this i can be happy at 18."

well, im currently 20 and im better but i cannot feel the happiness and im empty.

i miss things that i dont even know what it is.

i can hear my heartbeat in my ears, and i can feel my heart beating on my chest so so hard where i almost feel pain.

with the beat of my heart and the shine of the moon i take myself to a place in my mind where no one can hurt me, where everything feels safe.

i just wish this could last forever and i no longer had to go back to reality again.

my sweet little girl, how can you keep that smile,

how can you can keep that smile when you hold so much in your heart

how can you keep that smile when all you do when you are alone is cry.

you have so much dreams

your eyes have such a glow when you talk about it

its like you make your life a little bit better,

please dont let these dreams go.

my little girl is getting big, she is the strongest

she still keep that smile, but now her eyes look tired and gloomy

i wonder if someday you will ask for anyone help

my big girl...

why dont you have dreams?

why do you keep that fucking smile?

why do you keep pretending?

everyone can see.

meu corpo é o túmulo da garota que eu costumava ser.

Thoughts

I've been thinking about you

sometimes

well, almost every day

I've been thinking the way you made me feel when you walk away

I've been thinking how it hurts to not be around you

I've been thinking how much I miss looking at your sleepy eyes whenever you sing

I've been thinking that I miss caress your cloud hair

now you're gone, and I don't have no one to blame

can you please come back?

for at least one day

I'll make it right this time