Necessary Monsters (6/15)
A/N: Well, as of recent game updates, my story is now AU. I considered rewriting this chapter, and I do reserve the right to go back and change it later to keep to canon. But for now, Iād like this chapter to stand in memory of a character that had no business dying (looking at you, JC).
Summary: āI need a favor.ā
āYou what?ā
āDonāt be a prick.ā
āOh, off to a champion start, you are.ā
The only thing worse than an alarm clock is an enchanted alarm clock. Felix is sure the squat, tin object takes malicious pleasure stabbing in him to consciousness with its incessant brrrring. He groans and slaps a hand in the direction of the trunk currently serving as a bedside table, but the clock dances away from Felixās outstretched fingers, its shrill ring sounding suspiciously like laughter. Groping about in the dark for his wand, Felix waves it at the clock, now doing an ungainly jig beside the bed, and it falls forward onto its flat face in disgruntled silence.
Stumbling to the wardrobe, Felix pulls out shirt, jumper, and trousers without looking, then stares about him in the darkness for his boots. The outline of one peeks from under the foot of his camp bed, and he trips over the other on his way toward it. Sprawled across the floor, all sense of urgency knocked from him, Felix fumbles for the treacherous shoes and tugs them on with heavy fingers. He reminds himself heās only 22, which is far too young to be this ornery about his turn at night-shift. He knows the one week a month of reversed sleep cycle, and the impish alarm clock that comes with it, arenāt the real reason his nerves are on tenterhooks. But they certainly donāt help.
Still spread-eagle on the cold, rough wood, Felix allows his eyes to fall closed as he sends up a silent prayer to whatever entity is responsible for managing his cosmic affairs: Please, please let it come today, he thinks, over and over again, until he feels sleep begin to trickle back through his veins.
As the breathing of its current master becomes slow and deep, the alarm clock rights itself and toddles across the floor towards his ear. It rubs its hands together in undisguised glee.
The Romanian Reserve is not at all what Felix had expected. It reminds him of what he always imagined work in an office would be like: shifts and staff meetings and performance reviews. In Peru, Felixās schedule was set by the sun or the activity of the dragons he tracked. Here, he flicks his wand over a time card in the main building and marches past the hall of tiny rooms to the cramped office where the equipment is stored, and which he has to share with the Senior Dragonologist for the Peruvian Vipertooth.
Luis Rashbold takes up almost the entire closet-sized room. Leaning back in the only chair with his feet propped on the small desk, both pieces of furniture creaking in distress, he dictates his report to a typewriter clicking away on its own. Heās only a decade older than Felix, and full of the self-assurance that comes with being one of the youngest researchers to achieve a senior position.
Felix reaches across the desk and snatches the paper from the typewriter, glancing over the events of the day.
āAny change?ā he asks Rashbold without looking up from the parchment.
āNone. Sheās still hell-bent on getting to Alicanto. But itās got to end soon, surely. The summerās half gone.ā
Sharp pangs constrict Felixās chest at the reminder, but he breathes through them.
āThe rotation started over today, didnāt it? Who do we have this month?ā
Rashbold flicks his dark ponytail back over his shoulder. āLambton. And do try and go easy on the lad, the healer quit this morning. ā
āYouāre joking. He hasnāt been here a fortnight!ā
āIāve known shorter.ā Rashbold shrugs unconcernedly.
āAnd the one before that only got here a few weeks before I did.ā Felix steps around the desk, carefully avoiding Rashboldās dirt-crusted shoes. āIs the job jinxed or something?ā he asks as he lifts the fireproof gauntlets and chest-plate from their hooks on the wall, eyeing the sweat stains on the inside of the equipment with distaste.
āDoubt it,ā replies Rashbold, sliding another piece of paper into the typewriter. āMost people just arenāt cut out for dragons.ā He catches Felix muttering a cleaning spell under his breath and shakes his head.
Felix pulls the chest-plate over his jumper, glancing at the papers scattered across the desk.
āDid the post come yet?ā he asks with a practiced nonchalance that does not fool the older man one bit. Rashbold cracks a wicked grin.
āSorry, nothing from your secret admirer. Whatās it been, a fortnight now?ā As always, heat rises in Felixās face unbidden, and Rashboldās grin becomes a laugh. āToo bad you didnāt pick the Fireball, mate. Your face would make excellent camouflage.ā
Felix stomps from the room, cheeks still bright red. Rashboldās infuriating laughter follows him down the hall.
Disappointment begins its natural evolution into bitter anger as Felix strides quickly out of the buildingās backdoor and down the gravel path. He wastes a few minutes wishing apparition was permitted on the Reserve. Itās only a twenty minute walk to the Vipertoothsā habitat, which is practically nothing; I takes the Horntail dragonologists an hour to get to their plot, housed at the very back of the Reserve. But work is the only thing keeping Felix sane just at present. Each minute of silent walking is a minute he cannot stop his brain sliding into anxious thoughts about what might be happening to Juniper so many kilometres away.
When Felix first arrived, Juniperās letters, while abysmally short, had at least been consistent. No longer half a world apart, Felix received her owls almost every other day, a privilege he had been denied for many years and did not take for granted. He could tell by her wobbly and often unintelligible penmanship, Juniperās hands had not yet improved enough to make writing an easy task. Nor had her attempts to charm her quill into writing for her been successful either, she explained in her first letter, since she couldnāt hold her wand steady enough to cast anything. But after being discharged from St Mungoās and purchasing a quill that took dictation from Flourish and Blotts, her letters were once again full of news: How she had been excused from end-of-year exams; how she still had no memory of her attack or attackers; how Dumbledore had insisted she spend the summer at the Khanna tree farm, an out of the way country house with many magical protections surrounding it.
Felix got the distinct impression from her letters that Juniper was frustrated with the decisions being made for her. She had been expressly forbidden from leaving the Khanna property, except for regular visits to St Mungoās, and Dumbledore and the auror, Moody, checked in on her frequently. But Juniper offered no further details about her protection detail or her recovery. As always, she kept her letters to questions and comments about Felixās new life in Romania, though even those seemed more careless with each owl. Then the frequency of her letters dipped. By the end of July, they had stopped coming at all.
Worry now keeps Felix in a constant state of nerves. Heās sure someone would have contacted him if something had happened to Juniper; another attack or a sudden relapse. He remembers Snapeās warning about uncharacteristic behavior, and more than once has sat down at his desk with the intention of consulting the Slytherin Head of House. But he isnāt sure if a mere lack of correspondence qualifies as unusual, particularly in light of her condition. Itās entirely possible Juniper is simply too busy, with her recovery and her other friends, to keep up with their new fast-paced writing schedule. Still, the vacuum of silence heās left in without her letters makes him edgier with each passing day.
Work is the only relief Felix has from the continual parade of worries and what-ifs. And todayās arrival of the new junior assistant, a position that rotates between different species on a monthly basis, ensures Felix has no extra brain space to think of anything except keeping the nervous young man alive and relatively unhurt.
Ten hours later, dripping with sweat, dirt, and blood, Felix trudges slowly back across the Reserve just as the sun peeks over the horizon. Pulling off his gauntlets and stretching his sore muscles, he waits for the ever-present torment to reassert itself. The desperation to hear from Juniper, even just a few quick lines to know sheās alright and hasnāt forgotten him, is a physical ache nothing will soothe. Two weeks is long enough to be objectively concerned, he decides. The time has come to send an inquiry.
Debating which of her many friends to write to, Felix is startled to hear his name being called from somewhere ahead of him. He focuses on the figure in the foreground: a tall, muscular man, though that describes most of the dragonologists here, but with the addition of a cowboy hat, which can only mean one person.
āGrahame,ā Felix inclines his head wearily at the Reserveās resident American, who trots toward him with an irrepressible grin.
āI got - shit, youāre a mess!ā The dark man exclaims pleasantly, as he looks Felix up and down.
āMay I help you?ā Felix replies, trying to keep irritation from his voice. The American is a junior dragonologist as well, though several years older, and Felix rather enjoys his company, but he isnāt in the mood for conversation just now. Fortunately, Grahame appears to be in his usual hurry. He thrusts something at Felix as he passes.
āRashbold asked me to hand that to you on my way. Said youād want it asap!ā
Felix looks down at the object Grahame is pressing into his hands. Itās an envelope.
āI - yes. Thank you.ā He tries to sound aloof, but canāt keep the excitement from slipping out around his hasty words.
No worries,ā Grahame assures him, walking backward to keep sight of Felix. "Catch you later at the pub?ā The American pronounces the final word with a fake accent and wry chuckle, but Felix doesnāt notice. His entire attention is given over to the envelope in his hands.
The name on the back isnāt written in Juniperās writing. Felix isnāt positive, but he thinks he recognises the small, cramped script of Rowan Khanna. The morning feels suddenly chill. Fingers trembling, Felix unseals the envelope and pulls out a small slip of parchment. He reads the half-dozen lines once, and then again. Then he starts to run.
The Senior Dragonologist looks up from behind the desk, taking in Felixās breathless state in mild curiousity. Felix props an arm against the doorjamb, clutching a stitch in his side.
āI needā¦a favor,ā he gasps.
Rashbold guffaws. āYou what?ā
āDonāt be a prick,ā growls Felix as best he can while still panting.
āOh, off to a champion start, you are,ā the larger man chuckles. He falls back against the chair, which squeaks in protest, and kicks his boots up onto the desk. He tries to fold his beefy arms casually behind his head, but the office is so small, he smashes his elbow against the wall.
āWhat could I possibly do for you, Rosier? Never been to Peru, have I? Never chased a dragon across mountains and through forests for weeks without sleep. Donāt see how I could possibly help someone such as yourself whoās so much more experienced, so-ā
Felix canāt even feel indignant as he interjects, āThis isnāt a work favor. Itās - personal.ā
Rashboldās sarcastic smile slips a little. He notices the frantic look in Felixās eye and the parchment crumpled in his hand and asks, more seriously, āWhatās wrong, then?ā
āSomethingās come up. Back in England, and - I need to take a bit of leave.ā
Rashbold lets out another raucous laugh, this one incredulous. āWhat? You canāt! You just got here. Youāre not eligible for six months at least, and even then you know GuivrĆ© hardly ever approves-ā
āI know!ā Felix interrupts, āThatās why I need you to cover for me.ā
āIām not sure.ā Felix runs a hand through his hair in distraction. āA few days, maybe.ā
Rashbold shakes his head. āNothing doing, mate. Iām jiggered as it is, I canāt pull double shifts that long. Iāve not got enough wide-eye potion left.ā
āPlease!ā Felixās abject pleading shocks both himself and the older man. āPlease. I wouldnāt ask if it wasnāt urgent.ā
Rashbold looks Felix up and down, then shakes his head again, his expression now apologetic.
āIām sorry, Rosier. But Stellaās on me about my hours as it is. If I try to pull something like this, Iāll wind up in divorce.ā
The larger man shifts his gaze to the desk, lifting papers about at random, unwilling to look Felix in the eye.
Felix takes a heavy breath. āFine.ā He tosses the gauntlets and vest in the general direction of the wall.
āHold on,ā Rashbold stands in alarm. āYouāre not still going, are you?ā
āBut, GuivrĆ© will fire you if he finds youāve gone without leave! I know youāre still a bit new here, but you should know what heās like by now.ā
āI donāt have a choice,ā and Felix is surprised to find his voice even and calm. Itās a career-ending decision heās about to make, but somehow, heās entirely removed from any anxiety about it. Itās the same feeling of clarity and focus heās used to experiencing in the wild, when circumstance demands immediate action without the luxury of second-guessing.
Rashbold crosses his arms. āIs this about your mysterious letter writer?ā
Felix considers a lie, a family crisis would probably garner more sympathy, but his habitual blush betrays him.
Rashbold snorts. āYouāre seriously going to throw away your position for some girl? That wonāt even write?ā
The heat in Felixās face becomes irritation.
āNo. I mean, yes, I am, but sheās not a girl. I mean, she is a girl, butā¦ā He struggles to find words to describe everything between him and Juniper to this man who doesnāt know either of them and whose business it really isnāt anyway. āSheās more than just a girl. Sheās - sheās important.ā
āMore important than your job?ā Rashbold fixes the junior dragonologist with a shrewdly calculating stare that Felix hadnāt considered the other man capable of. Felix holds his gaze steadily, and nods just once.
Thereās a short silence while Rashbold considers. Finally, the older man heaves himself back into the groaning chair in resignation.
āAlright, look. I can cover you for the week-end. Iāll say you got a bad bite and are taking the cure.ā He points a large finger at Felix. āBut if youāre not back by Monday, youāre on your own, alright?ā
Felixās knees almost buckle with relief.
āThank you, Rashbold,ā he manages, but the other man waves his words away with a massive hand.
āDonāt thank me, just donāt make me sorry.ā
The Khanna tree farm is as picturesque as a Christmas card in the mid-morning light, but Felix isnāt in the mood to appreciate the scenery. Security measures have prevented apparition around the property for a league in every direction, so for the second time that day, Felix is forced to race on foot through the grounds. He pelts up the walk to the main building, and bangs on the door with his fist.
Itās barely a minute, though it feels like an age to Felix, before the door opens and Rowan Khanna stares eagerly out, face falling slightly when she recognises him.
āOh. Felix. I thought, maybe you were-ā
āWhatās going on? Whereās Juniper? Whatās happened?ā he interjects in a breathless rush. Rowanās dark cheeks turn suddenly fuschia.
āOh. Umā¦well, itās sort of complicated.ā
āWhat do you mean? Your letter said Juniper needed help.ā
Rowan stutters wordlessly, shifting her weight between her feet, face still unusually coloured, and Felixās frayed nerves snap.
āKhanna, Iāve left my job without leave to be here! Tell me whatās going on. Now!ā
The door opens farther and Felix is surprised to see Penny Haywood standing behind Rowan, expressive face full of worry.
āAre you here about Juniper?ā
Felix rolls his eyes hugely. āYes!ā
The blonde girl tugs Rowan aside by the sleeve of her robe, allowing Felix to step over the threshold.
āThatās good. We need all the help we can get.ā
A few silent minutes later, Penny is brewing tea while Rowan and Felix sit at the kitchenās wooden farm table. Rowan stares nervously down at her hands, picking at splinters in the wood. Felix takes several deep, steadying breaths, trying to keep his temper under control. If Juniper were in immediate danger, they would surely have taken him to her. But if she isnāt, Khannaās going to receive an earful for putting him through all this.
āWhere is Juniper?ā Felix asks, with what he considers impressive calm.
āSheāsā¦not here,ā Rowan admits, and silent tears spill from her eyes before she can stop them. She wipes them with the back of her sleeve, knocking her glasses askew, and Felix digs his nails into his palm to stifle his panic. He calls up his old prefect skills and speaks as soothingly as he can.
āKhanna, justā¦calm down, and tell me whatās-ā
āSheās alright,ā Penny says, turning from the heating kettle to face the table. Sheās mercifully tear-free, but looks concerned enough to contradict her statement. āSheās notā¦not been attacked again or anything like that. Itās - ā she sighs deeply. āItās hard to explain.ā
Felix closes his eyes in a quick plea for patience. "Please, try.ā
Penny leans back against the cooker.
āWhen was the last time you heard from Juniper?ā
āWhy?ā asks Felix suspiciously.
āBecause I need to know how much you donāt know.ā
āItās beenā¦two weeks,ā he admits. ābut before that she wasnāt saying much about whatās been happening to her.ā
Penny hugs her arms about herself, taking a moment to gather her thoughts, while Felix drums his fingers against the tabletop in agitation.
āOkay. You know Dumbledore made her come stay here for the summer, right?ā
āWell, the thing isā¦at hospital, she seemed alright. Normal, you know? She was making plans for the summer and next term, like she always does. Even the healer said she was recovering better than expected. Butā¦once she got here, sheā¦changed. We thought she might just be ill or something. She wasā¦ā Penny glances toward the ceiling, presumably searching there for the right words. āSubdued, I guess. She wasnāt eating, said nothing tasted of anything. And she couldnāt sleep. Or wouldnāt.ā
āWhat do you mean?ā Felix interrupts.
āShe started having these awful nightmares,ā says Rowan in a quiet voice. āSheād wake up screaming, didnāt - didnāt know where she was. It wasā¦scary-ā She sniffs, but manages to keep herself from tears. āSo, she sort of stopped sleeping. At night anyway. Sheād kip a bit during the day, but sheād stay up all night just - just sort of pacing and stuff. It was weird. And then she started - startedā¦ā Rowanās lip quivers violently and Penny steps in.
āShe started acting, well, really kind of nasty. Snapping at Rowan, and justā¦really irritable all the time. Iāve been here a good bit, so I saw it too. It reminded me of Beatrice last summer, you know after being trapped all year. Justā¦not like herself at all.ā
Alarm bells go off in Felixās head.
āDid you tell anyone?ā He asks. āHer healers or Dumbledore?ā
Penny looks down, uncomfortably. āI thought it would get better. Juniperās a lot stronger than Beatrice. Stronger than anyone. You know what I mean, stuff doesnāt really get to her like other people.ā
āI mentioned it once to Healer Early when she was here,ā Rowan interjects, ābut she said there wasnāt anything she could do. Something about how magic canāt heal the mind and Juniper would just have toā¦get over it, somehow.ā
āI thought Juniper was visiting St Mungoās a few times a week? Whyās the healer coming here?ā
Rowan and Penny exchange significant glances.
āDidā¦did Juniper not mention?ā Penny asks cautiously.
The kettle behind Penny whistles and she turns hurriedly to prepare cups, leaving Rowan to explain.
āWhen she took the floo to hospital, sheād have these awful sort of attacks. Like, doubled over in pain. For a really long time. And it made her hands worse.ā Rowan looks down at her own hands lying limp on the table, reciting her words blandly as if they were lines from a textbook. āThe healer said the damage to her nerves from the Cruciatus Curse was pretty bad. And that can make magical transportation hard on the body.ā
Felix raises his eyebrows. āSoā¦Juniperās not supposed to use the Floo network anymore?ā
āOr apparate,ā Penny adds softly without turning around. āShe didnāt get to take the test with the rest of us.ā
Penny pours hot water into three cups, and sends them floating across to the table with her wand. Seating herself between Felix and Rowan, she makes a production of adding milk and sugar to her cup, stirring for longer than strictly necessary. Rowan purses her lips around the rim of her tea cup without waiting for it to cool, the steam fogging her glasses. For several minutes, the only sounds are the chink of porcelain and the gentle sipping of scalding liquid.
āIs thisā¦permanent?ā Felix manages eventually.
Rowanās cup clatters as she drops it back onto the saucer. She shakes her head violently from side to side.
āNo! The healer said it should get better! That she might even be able to take the test next summer! It - It really wasnātā¦that big of a deal.ā
But Felix doubts Rowanās dubious tone convinces even herself. Juniper has always been accustomed to quickly mastering spells far beyond her year. And apparition is considered a rite of passage. He can only imagine just how ābig a dealā being unable to apparate would be to Juniper.
āAfter that,ā Penny continues, still swirling her spoon through her tea. āEverything just got so much worse. Iāve - Iāve never seen Juniper so unhappy.ā
She trails away, staring miserably down into her cup. Felix waits as patiently as he can with his heart racing like a locomotive, but neither girl seems about to continue the story.
āSo, does that mean Juniperās back at St Mungoās, then?ā
Rowan busies herself cleaning the fog from her glasses, looking anywhere but at Felix.
āNo,ā admits Penny. āSeeā¦we thought that maybe it would cheer her up to see her friends, since sheās not supposed to go anywhere. So we invited them to come. We had everyone visit in shifts. You know, Barnaby and Andre one week, then Bill and Charlie. And then,ā Pennyās chest heaves with her steadying breath. āTonks and Tulip. They came up a couple of weeks ago, and they thought Juniperā¦needed to get out a bit.ā
Felix almost knocks over his still-full cup of tea. āBut Dumbledore said she wasnāt to leave the farm!ā
āI know,ā Rowan moans, covering her face with her hands. āI tried to tell her. I knew sheād get into so much trouble if they found out, Dumbledore and Snape and that auror. But, you know what sheās like.ā
āAnd Tonks and Tulip donāt set any store by rules either,ā Penny adds in disapproval.
āBut - but,ā Felix splutters, āwhere would they even go? If Juniper canāt apparate-ā
āTonks has a muggle motor,ā explains Penny glumly. āHer dad taught her to use it. So, they all went into the city one night.ā
Felix struggles to keep his frustration at the two students in check. Heās only four years their senior, but they suddenly seem ridiculously young to be watching out for Juniper by themselves.
āTo be fair,ā offers Rowan timidly. āJuniper did seem a bit more herself when she got back. Or at least, she was talking again, laughing, you know?ā She lowers her head to her teacup again, slurping loudly.
āAnd I guess that encouraged Tulip and Tonks,ā says Penny, now fiddling with her tea spoon. āSo when they left theyā¦they sort of took Juniper with them.ā
āWhat? Where?ā barks Felix in alarm.
āLondon,ā Penny and Rowan say simultaneously.
āLondon,ā Felix repeats. āSo, itās taken you the better part of an hour to tell me that Juniperās run away to London?ā
Both girls look uncomfortably at the table. Rowanās lip quivers violently again, but Felixās mounting frustration smothers the part of him that cares about such things.
āSurely, you wrote to me as an afterthought.ā Felixās voice trembles with poorly suppressed fury, āPresumably, two of the smartest witches of their year would know to contact Dumbledore immediately. Or Healer Early. Or that auror. Someone in the same country and able to ensure Juniperās safety in a timely fashion.ā
By the end, Felixās words are a venomous snarl, and Rowan begins to sob again. Penny looks from her to Felix, eyes pleading.
āJuniper didnāt want anyone to know! She made Rowan promise not to tell anyone at the school. She - she wasnāt very nice about it, either.ā
āAnd-and-and I didnāt w-want her to get into trouble,ā wails Rowan.
Rising from her chair, Penny puts her arms around the other girlās shaking shoulders.
āWe were afraid if we told Dumbledore or anyone else, Juniper might be expelled. And Rowan didnāt want to break her promise,ā explains Penny in a soothing voice, stroking Rowanās hair. āBarnaby was the one who suggested we write to you, becauseā¦Juniper never said we couldnāt tell anyone just not anyone at the school. And you and Juniper write and she looks up to you. We thought she might listen to you if you told her to come back.ā
Felix is unsure whether this is true or just flattery designed to quench his anger, but either way it has the desired effect. His whole body relaxes as worry and concern take a backseat to a newly re-kindled hope growing rapidly into excitement. Perhaps this is the opportunity heās been waiting for: a chance to help Juniper when she needs it most. This isnāt the monster heād always imagined saving her from, but it could do in a pinch.
For a few minutes, Felix indulges in a half-plan, half-fantasy of knocking on Juniperās door in London, reveling in the look of shock and awe that crosses her face upon seeing him before she throws herself into his arms, just like at the Quidditch match. Well, perhaps with a few more tears, only natural given what sheās been through. But all the horror is sure to melt away as he holds her, murmuring comfort against her hair, until she turns her face to his, eyes full of appreciation and something else heās only ever imaginedā¦
Felix pushes back from the table decisively.