Long Distance Love

ahhh it’s been such a long time since I posted here! But I wanted to let everyone know that I got my one way ticket to Canada! My husband will fly to my country and spend 3 weeks with me and my family and after that we will leave together on September 23rd. We are very happy about it :) 

I wish all the luck, happiness and patience to all the people who are in a long distance relationship! They all work if both of you invest time and love to each other. All this time that we were away (3 years) we were 8 hours away (I mean different time zone!), we saw each other ONCE every year and we were mostly talking on messenger, since he is working and I was studying at the university and working at the same time I was getting exhausted when I wasn’t getting enough sleep.

But it’s all going to end soon! 

Best,

Inga 

It’s been a while since I posted anything in this blog.. 

Everything is fine by me, I finally got married to the love of my life but I returned back home because I am graduating this year, so we have another half a year to wait until we can be fully reunited forever.

Unfortunately, despite that we got married, that my parents and my brother approved our relationship/marriage, I found myself in many situations where it’s very difficult to control my emotions, or sometimes that’s even impossible and then all my negativity I let on the people that I care about the most: my parents and my husband. At the same time I am still dealing with anxiety that sometimes makes me feel very sick both physically and emotionally, sometimes it’s up to the point when I just throw up because of the pressure. Every single night I regret all the things that I did to both my parents and my husband.. I just hate myself for everything but I find it difficult to control myself sometimes, it’s very difficult.. 

I wanted to ask you guys, what do you do to control yourself, your emotions? How do you deal with constant ovethinking? My overthinking is probably the worst these last few months, I can cry constantly for many days and it’s difficult to calm down or to not think about things that I have on my mind (it’s about leaving my parents - yes, I know that I am already 24 and that I need to grow up. I did. It just hurts me that they will be here by themselves and we won’t be even able to talk normally because or time difference will be 8 hours..) 

Being apart from my husband also plays a major role when it comes to my issues.. I find it more difficult to wait now since we are married, it’s very hard..It was already hard but now it’s even worse..

Dear followers and everyone who reads this: how would you deal with my situation? I am not taking any medicine since I need to be more focused on work and studying and taking tranquilizers only makes me very sleepy and unfocused during the day, I only take herbal medicine but that never helped me as much as other benzodiazepines (and of course they won’t). I would like to hear how you manage to control yourself and your emotions when you get upset, how to hold it inside and not hurt the ones that you love the most? And why do we actually hurt them? Since they are the most important people in our lives and we can’t imagine ourselves without them.. Why does it happen that we hurt people that we lost the most?