I spent a long time wondering what it would be like to be tied up. Years, really.
In my fantasies, it almost always involved intense, rough sex. I was almost always tied to something - a bed, a table - and I was always, always tied in some way that would leave me “available” for the mystery faceless partner in my daydream.
And let’s not mince words: I love when DD ties me up in just that way, for just that purpose. Spread eagle on the bed, limbs tied to each of the four corners? Yes please. Rough and intense? Yes please. Tied open, waiting, ready? Yes flippin’ please.
But this? Legs closed, simple bindings on wrists and ankles, being held firmly but gently?
Unable to move while DD caresses, touches, kisses me? Lazy, long, snuggles, in which I can’t respond, touch, or even roll over?
Warm bed, half dressed, DD whispering against my forehead, while all of my autonomy is removed and I am made entirely helpless?
I can’t get enough of it.
Not once that I can recall did I ever fantasize about being bound and then snuggled. It was always bound and then taken, roughly. But bound and cuddled? I’m not sure the notion would have ever even occurred to me.
But now I crave it. I request it sometimes. I need it.
I even fantasize about it.
I need my arms being held down, and I need the spankings, and I need the rough possessive words, and i need the cuff restraints, and I need his hand on the back of my head while he takes my mouth and throat. I feel deeply submissive when DD is rough, demanding, takes what he wants.
But I used to think that “dominating” always equalled “rough” and it turns out it really, really doesn’t.
To be honest, I think sometimes that I feel most under his control, the most reliant, the most vulnerable, the most helpless, when I am bound in simple rope and cuddled.
Because we both know, even though it is calm and quiet, that I am entirely possessed and utterly available … we both know that at any moment, he might want something more, different, rough … we both know that I am at his mercy, even in these most gentle caresses … and we both know that whatever he wants next, is his to take.