living life

Your super power is that you are average, at everything you do.

Jack of all trades, master of none, better than a master of one

the other day at work, i asked a woman her name– like i do for everyone, because we have to write it on the cup–and she goes “we come in here all the time. you should really know our names by now” as if i don’t serve hundreds of people a day or as though a nondescript middle aged white woman made such an impact upon me that i’d remember her. i was feeling pretty impatient and irritable though, so i covered my name tag with my hand and asked her my name and she didn’t know it and at least had the decency to change demeanor from haughty and superior to sort of quietly embarrassed and i’m fairly sure that’s the only thing i’ve ever done at work that matters to me. 

some of u never tried to force a volleyball as far underwater as u could at a pool as a kid only to have it shoot up and hit u in the fucking face and it shows

do you know how cute i would be if i had more money