SUGOI MOERU!

““Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”

When people leave you , they end up teaching you more about yourself, how you were always capable of surviving without them, not just surviving indeed growing, how your lives may have been interconnected but they were never dependent, how the absence they left behind, you turned it into a space filled with self-love, how all you ever needed all these years was just the best version of yourself .

When I told a friend that I regret loving someone more than myself he said: “If it felt right for a moment there’s no need to regret it.”

All I do is live in memories I’m trying to forget.

Everyone talks about how you’ll find the perfect one for you and how much he will make you feel loved and protected, but they never talk about the side effects that come with the type of a relationship like that. Like how much of a liar a person can be. How much of a fool oneself can be and how much time gets wasted waiting for a change.

I wondered why I was always so lonely and then I realized that I was always playing different roles for different people but I never played the role of just myself and that’s why I was lonely - the person everyone was with wasn’t actually me.

Note to her: Things will work out, don’t worry. Whatever happens, happens. Don’t try reopen a door, that has already been closed. Don’t be silly, you aren’t lonely. You have the most uplifting parents in the world. The best of the best of friends. The life you live, people only dream to have. Don’t sweat it, you’ll graduate, find the perfect guy. You’ll fall in love with that cute dog at the store. You’ll drive that dream car of yours. So Just hold on. Take a deep breathe and wait. Don’t rush into anything to fast, you wanna make sure you make the right decisions. You only live once right? So make this count.

How do I tell him? How do I tell him that falling in love with him has made me the most fragile I’ve ever been? Should I say his past haunts me and that he can break me with just a word? How do I tell him that the past girls he’s fallen in love with look nothing like me and its terrifying? How do I tell him that I’m insecure? That it takes everything within me to let things go, and that I’m trying to not scare him away? How can I stop comparing myself to the way he treated the others? Do I admit that I need the validation? Do I admit that his list of female friends intimidates me and that I need reminders hes happy with his choice? That He didn’t settle? How can I protect my heart ? How do I ensure that This. Is. Real. That being fragile is okay, for it means I trust his rough hands enough not to break me. That his past has shaped his heart into the only one I want to listen to beat in bed. That though ive seen the power behind his words, with me theyve only whispered sweet poems. And perhaps he hasnt experienced morning curls such as mine I know he’ll find a way to love their shape. That it’s good that I’m different, cause though I may not have long blonde hair like the girl of his dreams, or a perfect body like the girl that broke his heart. And though I may not be as sexy as the girls he follows on social media he’s found something in me that made him stay. That he can’t possibly know that I’m insecure and broken if I don’t speak up and there’s no shame in wanting to be shown off. That I must find comfort in knowing that he’s trying. And above all It’s completely okay to want to protect my heart but it’s not okay to build walls. This is REAL love That real love IS vulnerability, it’s knowing that love is a choice. He chose me and has continued to choose me. What makes this love real is that I have no safety nets that a risk does exist. So. How do I tell him? How do I tell him that I’ve always liked the nights sky but fell in love with it when we first kissed. That just as it’s impossible to know the birth place of the stars how unlikely it is we were brought together by chance? How do I tell him that I thank those stars every night they were there at that party. That I’m grateful he was so persistent. How do I tell him I’ve never been this uncertain yet so sure of something in my life. That I love him. How do I show him I love him?

When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.

You’re always haunted by the idea you’re wasting your life.