My Road For One

Ain’t this about a biiiiitch. Fuck me. As if life wasn’t a mixed bag of ups and downs enough. When you’re at the age where a missed period doesn’t mean you’re pregnant. And you find yourself wishing something you never had before. That you WERE pregnant. Cuz anything would be better than this. Fucking menopause. Jesus Christ. Where shall one begin. Seriously. I never thought it would be this…

I remember the first time I had that A-Ha moment. The realization that I’d had it all wrong while I was single, post divorce. The notion that autonomy was something I had to get to before entering another relationship. Having vowed to never lose my Self in a relationship ever again, never relying on anyone else for anything, especially emotional support, that was once my number one task at hand.…

It is definitely possible to be speaking the same language and NOT be speaking the same language. No, it’s not possible. It is. And there’s nothing more fucking frustrating that that. Omg, is there not. Let’s fucking talk about TRIGGERS. Triggers. Some realize theirs. Some don’t. Some even realize others’ triggers. I know my triggers. They fucking surface in the most random places. Recently, as…

Hello…….????

“I’d better call M and let her know I’m not mad at her” S said she told her husband while enraged and about to strangle her sister. When my close friends that know I feel their energy and emotions say things like that, I melt. “Awwww! You should’ve! I was thinking ‘I didn’t do anything to her! Why’s she mad at me?!” You’d think living my entire life as an empath, I would get it. No, S isn’t mad…

I still believe in an afterlife. Us coming back, in a…

Mourning is crazy.

I sweep the house and see your hair and don’t want to throw it out. I wonder if it would be crazy to keep it.

I smell the faintest smell of urine in the rug you peed on and I get down on all fours and sniff it. It reminds me of you. I gently rub it with my hands and sigh. I’m glad I never got that rug shampooed. I got so upset with you for peeing on it. I’m sorry.

I put off…

Lessons in Love…

‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’…

Full Circle…of Life?

When my husband and I had our miscarriage 2 years ago, I had no idea I’d be healing from it 2 years later. Cuz ya know, I thought I was dealing with it then.

I say self-awareness is the greatest tool one can possess while on a personal, spiritual journey. Learning about one’s self is a constant journey that never ends. As the saying goes, only a fool thinks they have no more to learn.

I like to…

I’ve been told that I’m judgmental. Quick to judge others. That I’m tough on people. I say I don’t judge but merely make (accccurate, thank you very much!) observations. I can read people like an open book. And since I’m a recovering people pleaser, can sniff an insecure, projecting, small-minded snail a galaxy away.

It sucks being an intuitive. Especially when even your spouse doesn’t seem to…

After 7 years on Instagram, I deleted my account.

A couple of years ago, I deleted my Facebook account. Never looked back. Was not hard to do so. The negatives outweighed the positives by a landslide. I was glad to not see certain people on there any more. Posts about politics, religion, office banter, check-ins…all of it was more rubbish than not. Most of all, I couldn’t stand the phoniness of…

Too Much, Too Much…

Aware… I’m too much sometimes. Maybe not to all but to most (Hmm…perhaps to all).  I’m too: Sensitive Emotional Introspective Empathic Spiritual (I know I speak of the Universe shmuniverse all the time and of messages, signs and lessons…and I’m also aware that even to those most dear to me, that may be a bit much at times) Real Honest Open Sharing Caring Sentimental Pragmatic Not pragmatic enough…

My Ride Or Die…ME. 

Loyalty. I don’t know how common loyalty is these days. I mean rrrreal, fucking loyalty. The you know your friend was wrong in what she said to the other person but you’ve always got her back kind of loyalty. I must’ve been betrayed royally in my past lives. I must’ve been murdered by my own child. My army must’ve been lead into enemy’s traps by my own Generals. Loyalty. A hot button with me that…

Soul to Launch…

“Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events and these hidden meanings are serving in your own evolution.”  I came across these beautiful words by the brilliant Deepak Chopra today, a slightly different take on one of my favorites, ‘Everything happens for a reason.…

Somewhere Between Limbo and…?

I know who I used to be. I know what roads I’ve walked as I’ve traversed along my journey thus far. I know what I’ve experienced and endured up to this point. I know what I’ve let go of, held onto and picked up along the way.  I’m not going to pretend to know where I’m headed, who I’ll be, what more I’ll shed and gain along the way…nor do I fucking care to. For once in my life, I don’t fucking…

Journey Within the Journey…

“I remember you telling me once that you were the ‘Queen of change’…”   G’s sister T and I have this amazing connection. She’s called us kindred spirits. I’ve said she’s one of my soulmates. It’s uncanny how I could be having an off day and she’ll send me a meme that’s so apropos with the uplifting message I needed to hear right at my emotional crisis.  I was sharing with her about my meltdown…

Lights Sharing Light…

I often say how truly blessed I am. The biggest and most treasured blessing in my life always being the beautiful, like/light-minded souls that have somehow landed along my path.  At the precipice of my move, I’m catching myself thinking about these beautiful souls and how much I will miss them. I know I’m not moving to the other side of the country but I know it won’t be the same. “They won’t be…

Extra Heavy Load, Double Rinse…

Soul cleansing. It’s fucking real. Meeting my twin flame, after being separated for so long, I am experiencing soul cleansing at its finest. I feel as if I’m in an industrial washer, agitated with every rotation of the drum. All of the dirt and grime and filthy shit from my past painful experiences washing away. Layer by layer. The industrial strength detergent is the unconditional, unwavering…