Lots Of Little Records

50 MILLION - ur2punk4me - If 50 Million has a “hit”, it’s “Sleepover” on the A Side of this record. That unfortunately eclipses the fact that “Whiskey Eyes” on the B Side is unfuckwithable.

50 MILLION / THE NOISETTES - 50 Million are probably at their most esoteric and experimental on this one, not unlike their CD of home recordings. I love this one. Every record cover for their side of the record is hand made. The Noisettes side is totally different. Atmospheric and repetitive bleeps and bloops that sail along and lull you into another world.

50 MILLION - “Ouch” This one is beautifully all over the map. Side A is home-recorded pop songs that barely hit the one minute mark and they’re all perfect.  “Bug” is a straightforward rocker and they close it out with the piano ballad “Valentino”. Simply a perfect record.

50 MILLION / STATIC FACTION - 50 Million plays “She Is A Monster”, which is epic and sludgy. One of their glorious non-pop songs that they can drag out to play for 10 minutes in a live setting. Static Faction plays “Transcience”, which is fuzzy SF bedroom pop. I honestly haven’t listened to this side of the record since the 90′s, but it’s really good. I will keep this forever, just like all of my other 50M related records.

THE FINGERS - “The Rusty Quan EP 1992″ - This Fingers EP is better than the other one that I own and sounds like a cross between Childish worship and proto-Rip-Offs. There’s an early version of “Baby, What’s In It For Me” that sounds like a Rip-Offs demo. They wish they were a power-pop band.

THE FINGERS - “Melons On Melrose” - total shit-fi garage rock . They have a song called “She’s Just Eleven” because they’re total pieces of shit. They’re trying really hard to be sleazy rock and succeeding, I guess.

FLEETWOOD MAC - “Rhiannon (Will You Ever Win?) / Sugar Daddy” - I won this record in a raffle.. “Sugar Daddy” is a great song and I started on that side. Say that I did want to get rid of this record? No one would buy it and  there’s no money in it. I would just leave it in a laundromat.

FLESHIES / THE JOCKS - Playdough EP - I don’t know if I’ve listened to this since I got it, honestly. Harsh? Fleshies songs are really good in that full blown rock way. “1000 Ways” makes the whole record. THE JOCKS were a teenage punk band from San Francisco and most of them still lurk around the city. I will bet money that most of them are embarrassed of this record.

FOREHEADS / NAZIS FROM MARS - I got this years ago because THE FOREHEADS are my friends and they’re great. Guitar, drums and tuba playing scrappy, weird ass punk. I still love it. It still holds up for me. NAZIS FROM MARS was never a hit for me, but listening to it now, I like it more than ever before. Janky ass drum machine synth punk...but I’m still gonna listen to the other side more. 

FOREIGN OBJECTS - This record is so fucking good. Explosive. Tuneful. Smart. I watched them play these songs to nonplussed German men and it made me realize that every man at the stupid fest where I saw them were complete fucking idiots. Completely underrated. 

FOREIGN OBJECTS - Mammonism / Fable - Still great, still explosive. Not as explicitly engaging as the other record, but a real slow burner. 

THE FOUNDATIONS - If you’ve ever heard the song “Build Me Up, Buttercup” in your life (and you have), you already know that I’m not getting rid of this record. It’s so good! “Baby, Now That I’ve Found You” on the flip is excellent as well. Total weird bootleg here, but I don’t care. 

FROZEN TEENS / STREET LEGAL - STREET LEGAL was from Kansas City. They came and went. Not many people paid attention, but they were great. Gruff, catchy punk that rules. FROZEN TEENS are amazing...one of my favorites of the last ten years. I was truly sad when they broke up but at least they put out a few flawless records. 

FROZEN TEENS - Oakland / Footsteps - I was bummed when their LP came out and the band hadn’t re-recorded “Footsteps”, because it was one of my favorites from the demo. Then, it came out on this record and I can see why they put it here. These two songs have a completely different feel than the LP and stands alone as its own record. Perfect. 

FUCKBOYZ / CAPTAIN 9′S AND THE KNICKERBOCKER TRIO - I bought this a few years ago from the FUCKBOYZ drummer on an SF street corner and something about the transaction felt clandestine and dirty, even though it wasn’t. I love the FUCKBOYZ, but this isn’t their best stuff (see below for that). Still great and good to have any shreds of the naked cult legacy. CAPTAIN 9′S usually has a wilder sound than on this record. They play garage rock, but it’s usually on the verge of total collapse...not so much here..I’m keeping it. 

FUCKFACE - Don’t Hate Cause We’re.. - This one is a funny because I don’t listen to it, but I’m sure if I got rid of it, I’d just buy it again if I saw it. This band lived a few steps away from where I live now and played fast, fucked up hardcore. Their best song is on a comp but there’s a few good songs on this one. 

FUCKFACE - Descent - The band says in the liner notes that this record is “emo” but it just sounds like screamy hardcore to me. The 90′s were weird...and bad....and amazing. This record is not bad. 

FUCKFACE - The last and best FUCKFACE record. It has a bigger sound and is a precursor to 3/4′s of the band’s next thing, ARTIMUS PYLE, who I love. Great record. 

FUNERAL CONE - Peel Back The Foil - A special band. A special record. I wish it was mastered better, but that seems petty. The whole record sounds like the best party that you want to live in forever. 

FULL SUN - Stay Awake - After a few tapes, this is the first vinyl release by FULL SUN. Jeff plays almost every instrument on here and every song is really good. Pure pop played in a way that lots of people don’t play it. Maybe I don’t like that it’s a little too tinny, but it’s a small complaint...it’s still great. 

FUTURE VIRGINS - Future - I was so excited when this band formed because I loved SEXY (Ashley’s old band) and this is not SEXY, but it’s still his songs. This is still maybe my favorite record by them. It sounds the most unhinged, which is my style. It gives me too many memories to listen to often. “Little Steppenwulf” is so good. 

FUTURE VIRGINS - Pt II Words and Sounds - This one is also great. What do you want from me? 

FUTURE VIRGINS - Easiest Years - For years, my friend Buddha has done tireless, usually thankless work within the punk scene and many, many times, people spell his name wrong on the liner notes. This record is no exception. This record is good. FV has settled into a groove. They might stay there forever. “Radio Down” is unfuckwithable.

FUTURE VIRGINS - Late Republic / Centre - Someone lit a fire under their ass on “Centre”. I’m not meaning to slight the band, but “Late Republic” kinda sounds like when your favorite band signs to a major label, but then puts out their best song. 

FYP - Extra Credit - The music on this record is played so badly. Like, it’s super bad. There are so many pressings of this and I don’t get why. Do I like it? Yeah. Yeah, I like it. 

FYP - Made In USA - This dude Carlos started playing drums with them on this one and he was my favorite drummer out of all the drummers. Totally stupid style. They almost sound like a serious hardcore band on this. Weird. It’s weird that this band started out singing about high school, then just sang about more serious stuff and then started singing about school again years after they were finished with school. “Unappreciated” is a hit. 

FYP - Cooties - It’s weird that the other two records are both stupid, but this one is stupid enough to get rid of. It’s for sale. Cheap. 

FYP - Guido, Where Are U? - This one is weird too. One sided, three song EP. The songs are raw as shit and I wish they always just sounded like this. Progress is a bad thing sometimes. Totally pissed. 

GAUNT - Jim Motherfucker - Fuck, I love Gaunt. Every LP they put out wasn’t incredible, but every LP contained at least one incredible song...usually more than one. Their first three LPs are almost flawless. I can’t count how many times I’ve ripped them off in my own bands. This 45 shows the band at their basest garage roots before they started tightening it up, looking for that major label deal. Real loose and free. Love it. 

GAUNT - Solution - This one came free with some magazine but I got mine for 50 cents at Amoeba. “Solution” is on their first 12″, but this one is way rougher and more lo-fi. “Black Cat” is a little bit of a throwaway....there’s not much to it. 

GAUNT - Goodbadhappysad - This is the record where the band starts to congeal into an unstoppable force. The title track is tighter than their previous stuff and hints at all the brilliance that was to come on their first proper LP. The B side is a GUIDED BY VOICES cover (”Quality of Armor”), which is excellent. 

GAUNT / THE BEAVERS - GAUNT plays “Ohio”, which is on their first full length LP, but this version is wilder and sloppier. It sounds like it was recorded on the most fucked up 4 track ever. Some band called The BEAVERS made the mistake of doing a split with these guys. Weird. Bad. 

GAUNT - 2 Cent USA - This is when they started getting really pro, becoming more of a pop band, but still really good. On the liner notes on one of their first EP’s from 1992, they make a joke about how bad the fidelity is and say “we’ll sound better when we’re signed to Warner Brothers and they give us an advance.” In 1997, a year after this record came out, they were signed to WB to put out their final LP before singer Jerry Wick’s untimely death from getting hit by a car while riding his bike. The B side of this record is unstoppable. 

GAY, GAY, GAY, GAY BONERS - This record is so stupid but fuck me if I don’t sing “The moon is a giant butthole in the sky! The sun is a giant vagina in the sky!! Trees are boners!” a lot. I don’t think anyone is supposed to know this, but this is members of RVIVR, LATTERMAN, BLANK DOGS, NUDE BEACH and...stuff. When it breaks into the drum machine-led rap breakdown, I actually can’t believe this exists. Keeping it. 

GERBILS - Glue - The GERBILS are honestly one of the top 5 bands I’ve ever seen in my garbage life, but I’ve never felt strongly about their records. I haven’t heard their 2 LP’s because I can’t find them. The two songs on here are kinda whatever-style indie rock, but live they are an unstoppable, unfuckwithable force. I’m keeping this solely because I like to listen to this and remember how I couldn’t pick my jaw up off the floor when watching them. Members of this band were also in some band that every single motherfucker on the face of the planet likes to wax poetic about and I’m just like  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

GIANT HAYSTACKS - How We Lost The War - I was the biggest fan of this band a few years ago and I still love em. The Blunt Instrument LP is one of the best records of the last 15 years. This one is also really good. I think “Hard Wired” is a low point for the band, but I can gloss over it. 

GIANT HAYSTACKS - A Rebirth Of Our City - There are no weak moments on this one. Economic, angular punk that is so flawless and wonderful. Why aren’t these people playing in bands right now??

GIBBOUS - This one is a new acquisition from Lumpy Records. I guess it’s one of the guys from Trauma Harness doing some analog-sounding synth punk. There was something about it that blew my mind when I first heard it that I’m not hearing now. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really, really, really good and I’m definitely keeping it for (probably) life. 

THE GITS - Spear and Magic Helmet - Considering the history of this band, this is always a hard listen. Still, an amazing band, a great record. 

GLUE! - Not the hardcore band, but the band from Washington. I liked this band live, but I got their record and wasn’t totally into it. I’m still not. It’s for sale. 

G.N.P. / JERMFLUX - Space doesn’t permit me to get into the unrecognized genius that is GNP, one of Birmingham, AL’s first and most definitely weirdest hardcore bands. True, true fucking freaks of nature. No fans. No love. I’m a fan. I love it. JERMFLUX is some kind of synth-driven 90′s screamo hardcore. Not typical, but not good. My Alabama transplant friend in SF says he has a box full of the other GNP split EP. I have to get it. 

GORILLA ANGREB - Aborted 2000 EP - Many years ago, I became obsessed with this band in the middle of a tour. A few days later, I stayed with a guy in Toronto (?) who had just toured with them in Europe. He had copies of all of their EP’s (original pressings) and sold all of them to me for $2 each. Bless that man. This one is when they were a rawer sounding, more rudimentary punk band. I rarely put this one on, but it’s really, really good. 

GORILLA ANGREB - Astma - Such a drastic change between this record and the last one! One of my favorite records off all time. So good. It sets such a mood. I have no fucking clue what they’re singing about. 

GORILLA ANGREB / LOKUM - This one has a real Texas Chainsaw Massacre theme for some reason. The GA side is really good...one of my other favorite records by them. The LOKUM side has grown on me over the years. Kinda rudimentary punk with some synth. Their LP has been sitting in the record store up the street for years. Maybe I’ll go get it today. 

GORILLA BISCUITS - I love GORILLA BISCUITS. I like their LP better, but this is essential. The singer’s voice cracks so much. Beautiful moments in hardcore exist within these grooves. 

GREEN DAY - 1000 Hours - I love this. I’m keeping it. 

GROUP B - Live At Vic’s - A very weird artifact from the MN improv art scene. Recorded live on a handheld tape player in St Paul. Fucking weird and good. 

THE GRUMPIES - I loved this Mississippi band so much that I joined as their drummer. It’s hard for me to listen to this, even though I didn’t play on it. It’s good. The recording could be better.

HALF EMPTY - Welcome Home - I saw this band in the mid-90′s in Alabama. I went specifically because they were from the Bay Area. They played with some rappers and I think 5 other people were there. One of them still managed to be a condescending prick and I’m friends with their drummer now. Good record. 

HARRY PUSSY - Please Don’t Come Back From The Moon - I was totally confused by this record when I got it at 16 years old and I still am. Each side starts with a song already playing....then it ends..then the next song starts in the middle and the end of it is on the flip side. I’m still pissed off  that I didn’t see this band when I was 16....because my parents grounded me. This record is good. 

HATED YOUTH - Hardcore Rules - I don’t remember buying this, but I really like HATED YOUTH. No nonsense. 12 hardcore songs on one EP. One song is called “Fuck Russia.” Sound quality is shit, probably from packing so many songs on it.  The song “Hardcore Rules” has the most perfect guitar solo. 

THEE HEADCOATS - Girl From 62 - Two song 45 from these idiots. “Someone Like Me” is a classic slower Billy Childish song, but “Girl From 62″ is easily one of my most favorite songs he has ever written. Simple and direct. My most favorite song by him is right here.  Perfect record. 

THEE HEADCOATS - Thoughts Of A Hangman - I can’t believe how many records this guy has put out. This is not one of his best, but still better than a lot of the crap he put out. Keeping it. 

THEE HEADCOATS - Messerschmitt Pilot’s Severed Hand - The title song is excellent. The B side is okay. Typical Childish sexist drivel. 

HICKEY - Us Vs Them - No, I’m not getting rid of this. Yes, this record is great. If you want to send me any HICKEY records that aren’t listed here, you should. I live about 80 steps away from where the band lived and the records need to make their way home. Send them home. 

HICKEY - Gaia - This record was recorded three blocks from my house. “Gaia” used to be one my least favorite HICKEY songs, but now I like it a lot. Such a stupidly incredible band and so singular. 

HICKEY / FUCKFACE - “New Anthem For America’s Disenfranchised” is one of HICKEY’s most catchy songs. I was never a huge fan of FUCKFACE, but they sound great here. Great split record. 

HIDDEN SPOTS - Important Transmissions - I wish there was a lyric sheet even though I know every fucking word back to front. I always joke that “Most Important Thing” is a song about me. (It is). This record is perfect. “Never turn your back on something that hurts your heart. It’ll creep up on you later and tear you apart.”

HIDDEN SPOTS - Secret Noise - This one has a lyric sheet! This record is also perfect. “..so I can hide from the shadow of the western world as the American parking lot unfurls.”

BUNKER HILL WITH LINK WRAY AND THE RAYMEN - The side that Bunker Hill sings on was recorded in 1962 and his voice still sounds harder than most current hardcore bands. So fucking good. Check it out. Link Wray sings on the other side and it’s good, but pales in  comparison to the Bunker Hill side. Amazing record. 

HOLY SHIT! - What the Fuck? - I cannot believe this band has been around for ten years or more now. I can’t believe people call them a hardcore band. This is their first record. It is good. 

HOLY SHIT! - Jazz Phase - HOLY SHIT! gets weirder and still don’t remind me of a hardcore band. Great record. 

HOLY SHIT! / TURD HUNGRY CHRIST - Okay, they kinda sound like a hardcore band on this one. I think I’m getting sick, so I’m kinda zoning out. THC is good. Their vocals are too loud. 

HOT NEW MEXICANS - Wah - Unfortunately, HNM are going to slip into the ether of early-to-mid 00′s indie punk that goes largely unappreciated, but they wrote amazing songs. This record is no exception. Just about everything they did was golden. “When you wake up, do you expect it to be any better? Me too.” If you ever wanna see pure abandon, true tears and beautiful moments, get a time machine and transport yourself to one of their hometown shows in 2005 in a little farmhouse in a field in rural Mississippi. 

HOT NEW MEXICANS - Well....Um..Er...Ah - They gave me a copy of this and I let it melt on the dashboard of the van...while I was on tour with them. I’m a dick. Now, I have a back up copy and their “display” copy from tour that still has a price tag on it. I always told them that their name was fucking stupid and that no one would ever pay attention to them because of it. I’m a dick. “The Great Unpaid” is one of their best songs. 

HUNCHBACK - Inside / Out - I only have this because it came inside of a used LP I bought somewhere. I was never into this band, but I can understand why people like them. It just reminds me of when your friends stop being pissed about the world and just write classic rock. Oh, just realized the dude from this band is one of the people who joined SCREECHING WEASEL after his whole band dumped him. Cool move, dawg. It’s for sale.  For 50 cents. Plus shipping. 

HUSKER DU - Eight Miles High - This is possibly one of my least favorite HUSKER DU records, but I’m gonna hold onto it because I love the band. I feel like this record grows on trees. It’s in every record store and there are 48 copies of it for sale on Discogs right now. Why are there so many copies of this?

IRON LUNG - Demonstrations in Pressure and Volume - This is the first IRON LUNG record I ever heard. I have no clue why I picked it up because I’m not a person who seeks out power-violence, but this record made me love them and I rarely pass up a chance to see them. This record sounds so much different than what they sound like now, but still amazing. They still play “Arc Lamp” live. 

IRON LUNG / HATRED SURGE - Broken: A Collaboration - I bought this one at the guitarist’s house, a few short blocks from mine when they played a secret show in the garage. I think I was the only person there who didn’t go see AMEBIX later. This is my favorite IRON LUNG EP. It’s a collaboration between the two bands rather than a split. It just sounds so heavy and destroyed. 

IRON LUNG - Exposed - The vinyl glows in the dark! One sided. Two originals and a SEX VID cover. Their song, “Nothing” is so, so good. 

IRON LUNG - Savagery - Excellent fold out cover. Twelve songs that all start with S. So precise and destructive. I don’t understand how a band can be around for over 15 years and just keep getting better. Hand stamped covers.