makayla

Something about being at the absolute bottom feels like home

that bpd moment when you get influenced by something and feel your personality shift and know you’re gonna be acting a certain way until you burn it out of your system and switch back to one of your default personalities but until then you have to watch everything you do to make sure it doesn’t affect you too badly when you switch back

i hate waking up, i j want to sleep forever, i dont want to process anyone or anything

the less u care the happier u will be

people on here legitimately do not understand how psychosis works. the most common psychotic delusions are persecutory--you're being stalked, watched, conspired against, etc. something like "a hog was elected president" is not going to cause someone to spiral in a delusional state. while the internet may portray delusions as a quirky silly meme, they are actually quite terrifying. imagine suddenly thinking everyone you relied on and trusted is conspiring against you. imagine failing to convince people of dangers you believe exist that they will call you crazy over. the situation feels hopeless and you just want everything to end. ok this turned into a vent LMFAO but you get the point

I wish that I could trust someone to take care of me, I wish I could make someone understand how hard it is to live in my own head, I wish someone would hold my hand through it all

i hate having BPD when i'm upset it feels like my heart is legit getting stabbed 1000 times, it is not fun at all. I'm upset cos i'm jealous of a situation that isn't even real that i just made up in my head i hate myself

i hate when i’m self aware during an episode, like i know my thoughts are irrational but i can’t do anything about it and it’s like a fight between myself and my mind over what’s real and if i should believe my irrational thoughts and fears

if you can’t handle me at my worst that’s understandable cause i can’t either

who cares, do better, move on

At the end they’ll break ur heart. trust no one

you can’t control nobody actions , loyalty comes from the heart

bro i’m ready to sleep for two months straight

wish i can pause those thoughts