loserist

maybe we’d be on the same course at college and get into some sort of dumb argument about a group project we were both assigned to. maybe i’d call them a bitch when they win that argument and they’d just laugh at me which would only piss me off even more. and sure i’d jack off to the thought of it but who cares right? it’s only cus they’re physically attractive and i couldn’t care less if they hate me. they’d start provoking me more and more, trying to get me to snap at them and make myself look like an idiot in front of as many people as possible. their insults would get more specific, cataloguing how much “loser” “nerd” and “incel” made me visibly flustered. maybe after a while i’ve pavloved myself into associating the sound of their laugh with pleasure and i can’t keep myself from getting hard about it no matter how mad i am, which in turn would make it even worse. eventually they’d corner me after class about it, telling me that it was pathetic how easily i shut down the minute they talked back to me. maybe they’d tell me they knew i was a pervert, knew that i was getting off on their insults, and they’d tell me how funny they found it, that i’d never have a chance with them in a million years. obviously they’d leave before i could get a word in (provided i could even get myself together enough to form a response) and i’d be left to jack off to the thought of them again, this time knowing they knew exactly how much they’d fucked with my mind.

neeeeed need need need to meet a guy who knows about my difficult relationship with my beliefs and gets off on the idea of ruining me. a guy who knows that i find it hard to admit how much i think about other men when i’m fucking my fist alone at night. a guy who knows how scared i am of going to hell for feeling the way i do about him. i know it’s fucked up to want a guy to ride me until i admit i was never gonna live up to the standards i was taught to follow but i’m pretty obsessed with the idea. he’d finally get me to admit i was only so cold towards him because i was a virgin terrified of doing anything i’d been taught was sinful. he’d teach me how to accept that i’m a fag soon enough though

this is crazyyyy in a good way obviously. got scared at the start of your message cus misogynistic stuff can be a huge no for me but i’m glad this went in the direction it did lolol. the concept of another guy teaching me to fight makes me so hard i black out to be totally honest so i don’t know if i’m built for winning but he can try and teach me as many times as he likes :). oh and of course there’s nothing gay about teaching me how to get girls even if he has to show me an example of how he touches them! that’s just bros being bros!