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cal3ris

is this gonna get me fired you think

Being a guitarist with adhd and a full time office job is

2 weeks of intense practice and progress

2 weeks of exhaustion and passing out after getting home from work, fuck the guitar

1 week working on gear upgrades (new bridge, calibration, sanding burrs)

???

2 days practicing again and getting frustrated

Switch back to 12 TET. 1 month of constant playing and studying theory

????

Switch back to 24 TET to learn new songs

5 days playing bass

Exhaustion

???

Long work hours are incompatible with life

Never thought that building a microtonal guitar would get me motivated to study music theory again and to practice daily but here we are

my fingers are peeling off, I'm buying a proper metronome

nice

#otherwise i get lost with so many frets #the adhd brain works in mysterious ways

doctaqueef

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navigoldie

Someone needs to hire a better Etsy witch

iamheavymeta-lll

I have an evangelical coworker who's always pressing me about how much alcohol I drink and whether it's "correct" to drink with my medications, in a way that feels invasive and really out of touch

um

1) I drink very little (she saw me having two small drinks during a corporate party)

2) My medications and habits are within the realm of my private life, and we're explicitly not friends

3) You're not morally superior for not drinking a beer with your friends

4) She only knows that I take non-sedating antihistamines and inhaled steroids (asthma can be scandalous during allergy season) so how would a beer destroy my health? jfc

5) You don't cut your hair or wear jewelry for religious reasons and have the audacity to prod into a mostly invisible and almost inexistent part of my life to feel morally superior???

Ignorance is audacious

#My days of heavy drinking were short lived but fun and done safely #i wouldn't do it again but i also wouldn't change a thing if i could go back #i also think the buzz isn't worth the sh*ts so #at the same time it makes me happy to know that i'm not bound by made up rules that protect absolutely nobody and just shame people #i can get more piercings if i want i can get tattooed i can be bisexual without shame i can have a little drink or some weed if i want to

if i decided to date again i would only date bisexual people tbh

#im bi but also demiromantic and demisexual so it's too much time before i actually want more than an acquaintance lmao #there's only one person that i would potentially date i love her so much but i don't want to fuck things up

byjove

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Chromatic exercises on a 24 tet guitar are a whole other beast and my adhd brain is seeking that high all day (broke the e string F)

send post

#my surname might be beck but I don't have the guitar skills #of another beck dude #courtesy of eds polyneuropathy #nerves are healing atm

I refinished my old strat a few years ago, planning to build a 24-tet neck for it. And now the time has come. Just got the fretting saw in the mail.

Now expecting the cheap maple neck, which was listed as "natural banana head strat guitar neck"...haha microtonal banana

looking like a man and a woman had a baby

#cryptid

whenever my mental health spirals and starts interfering with my sleep and overall health i just say I'm going cuckoo again, keep taking my meds, and keep NOT GIVING MYSELF TIME FOR THERAPY COS DEALING WITH INSURANCE MENTAL HEALTH COVERAGE IS A HASSLE

Needing medication is funny because i forgot my zoloft, fexofenadine, and inhaler yesterday so i want to f*ck, scratch my skin off, and cough my lungs out

30 minutes post meds all the types of itch will stop and I will be at ease...I hope

#yesterday i told a friend about the time i made out with two friends and one gave me a box with a sock with a little bag containing w**d #and it seemed to affect her #(i'm nonbinary she's bisexual we drunkenly cuddled once...need i say more)#i might have opened a door and I don't know what to think about it other than I NEED TO TAKE MY MEDS

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Just found my bandcamp

Q: jesus christ what was wrong with me back in 2014

A: depression, anxiety, benzodiazepines, the gender assigned at birth

My gender dysphoria used to come in waves of overwhelming suffering and mild bother. Lately i feel that it has stabilized to what feels like 50% dysphoria-50% euphoria.

It's like when my nearsightedness settled: not ideal, but much more comfortable and convenient ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#i am weird about gender #i was the most gender neutral child in history #i still feel that my body is a bit of a cage but i'm appreciating what does feel right about it

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