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i love that FatT doesnโt have specific characters here itโs just. every FatT
I mean, like, of my favorite interactions in Counter/WEIGHT, which is the only canon with elevators except Marielda which wrote its own elevator slapstick:
Aria & Jacqui: Aria jumps up onto Jacquiโs shoulders and burns a hole in the ceiling, finding as she does that sheโs totally right and it is an assassination attempt! The ensuing fight takes place over three different locations, all of which she destroys.
AuDy & anyone: Upon realizing that they are going to be trapped in an enclosed space with a sentient being, it is AuDyโs settled and considered practice to turn themselves off until the experience is over. If necessary, they will instead pretend to turn themselves off and play as many rounds of mental solitaire as is necessary until the other person stops trying to talk to them. This explains September.
Cass & Aria: Aria is about to shoot a hole in the ceiling to stop an assassination attempt when Cass blurts out that the elevator was programmed to stop halfway between the medical wing and the xenobiology wing! So that they can access the secret back access ladder! Aria is thrilled at this evidence of Cassโs foresight; Cass is thrilled that theyโre at the point where they can just say whatever shit they want and their friends will buy it as a master plan.
Maryland and anyone: No elevator has ever broken down near Maryland.
Jace & Addax: Jace gets two lines into theย โha ha, guess we should wait for the rescue crew, anyway whatโs your signโโ before Addax has already called on Peace to interface with the elevator and they are out of there. Addax gets all the way to Peaceโs hangar before he slaps his forehead and turns around to try to get that precious, precious hitting-on time back, but itโs too late, itโs all too late in space. Life is a series of missed opportunities and connections. He turns it over and over in his mind, sometimes as a fantasy, sometimes as a sharp regret, until years laterโ when Jace is a figure out of time, resurrected and renewed, and Addax by some grace is sitting next to him in bed and going over his dissertation for punctuation errorsโ Jace is like, โoh, shit, do you know what I just remembered? That time I tried to hit on you in an elevโโ and Addax blurts out โSAGITTARIUS.โย
Ibex & Orth: Orth chews off the elevator cable to escape
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in which bdubs and etho take care of each other's health and wellbeing. transcript under the cut:
etho: my only goal in this is to keep bdubs happy.
cleo: that's all you ever care about!
etho: i just don't want him to say i hate it afterwards.
cleo: how's that working out for you?
bdubs: it's wonderful, he's very wise. and he's taking care of me, i'm a little sick.
bdubs: etho's taking care of me
etho: we gotta watch bdubs, make sure he's safe
[bdubs is smacked into the cow pit]
bdubs: [distressed noises]
etho: [putting blocks down to protect bdubs, leaving himself open] oh now he's looking at ME, NO!
etho: protect me, i'm low!
bdubs: etho you're low?
etho: i'm gonna eat all our lapis
bdubs: here, here here here! have some stalactites! [group laughs]
etho: i don't think that's safe! are you sure?
bdubs: they're good, they're good, i tried them. they're delicious.
bdubs: but alliance and priority is etho's love and health.
bdubs: i'll take care of etho's snail here...
joel: you're just following etho's snail here bdubs?
bdubs: i'm walking it to safety. yup.
etho: get underground! over here!
bdubs: [yelling] i'm coming! it's bad up there.
etho: follow the torch, follow the torch.
bdubs: okay! it's still coming though so get ready! [shouts]
etho: oh, bdubs...
bdubs: it's FINE!
bdubs: [screaming]
etho, fragilely: bdubs, bdubs...
bdubs: you! you did so wonderfully!
etho: my life flashed before my eyes just then...
etho: i was debating like, should i make a moss farm? and then when i heard you were doing it, it's like no i'm gonna hold off. i'm gonna rely on my buddy bdubs! [bdubs mhms] he's gonna take care of me this season.
etho: feather falling! feather falling!
bdubs: that's what I wanted!
ren: you should probably give that to bdoubleo, to be honest.
etho: bdubs, i will -
bdubs: no, it's fine, i'm gonna get it myself.
etho, quietly: you need it.
etho: someone help bdubs, he's got no gear. bdubs - someone help bdubs, please. i don't want him to die.
for bdubs, so when he dies all the time it'll help him. he needs all the help he can get.
bdubs: no i don't, i'm fine.
etho: he doesn't even have a shirt!
bdubs: it's for battle....
etho: oh, okay
bdubs: i don't know who's gonna take care of me now that he's gone... he was the one that took care of me. and kept me alive!
etho: i don't know how you're gonna do this scar, because i'm gonna defend bdubs, and then you'll die.
scar: come on!
bdubs: yes, i'm okay! she was chasing me! we were there, we were making plans!
etho: i got you a life bdubs, i got you a life!
scar: boop, sign the contract!
etho: bdubs you gotta protect me.
bdubs: i'll protect you.
bdubs: set your spawn just in case.
etho: i did, i did, thank you. you're always so considerate, bdubs.
bdubs: yeah, yeah, i care.
etho: you're sick right, i gotta take care of my poor guy...
bdubs: yeah i'm just gonna lay here.
etho: bdubs we need you!
bdubs: i'm on it!
etho: oh it's getting dark - bdubs, save me! thank you. just at the right time there.
[bdubs sighs loudly several times, and etho silently turns around to look at him, making bdubs laugh]
etho: you okay bdubs?
bdubs: i'm fine.
bdubs: how dare!
etho: who am i kidding, i'm washed up bdubs! it's all over!
bdubs: stop it! no!
cleo: i'm gonna get so annihilated right now.
etho: cleo's right, she's right, i have no confidence anymore because of her.
bdubs: stop it. no, you're a hero!
etho: i'm wondering if you were needing a cohost, if you were running out of steam.
bdubs: alright, yeah, yeah i do, i'm out.
etho: but i can texture too, like i [mumbles] texture.
bdubs: yeah yeah! i know you can - i know that too much is uncomfortable. right?
etho: i don't know what it is. like i like it when you do it.
bdubs: sure yeah, but it can be too much.
etho: i got a little bit of texture in here!
bdubs: you do, look at this!
etho: i could throw some granite in here, i could do all kinds of things.
bdubs: you sure could and you know it.
etho: bdubs is just protecting me okay, he knows what's best for me.
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Five layers of fabric been woven on a handloom (opposite), using the five different colored threads traditional in japan together with fiber optic, used in the industry as a transmitter of light. 'Pushing', 'polishing'or 'slashing' the fabric shifts the fibres to create the ambiguous shimmenng shapes. The artist worked on this piece in collaboration with the weaving studio Nozakiorisho Inc. and the textile company Toray Inc.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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