ŕŞââ´ Do I know you?
Hi, welcome to my writing blog. Please refer to me as Yonder. I'm a university student. đ
I am a hobbyist writer and total novice. I like to write headcanons and share ramblings more than I like to write fanfiction, but I may dabble in a bit of both. Do not expect frequent posts from me, as I will go inactive for long periods at a time. Treat this blog as a means to read my musings.
ŕŞââ´ Huh. So, do you write?
This blog may touch upon or interact with dark and suggestive/NSFW content. Use your own discretion before interacting. Submission rules below.
I do take writing requests, it's just a matter of time with me. I also take asks about things I have published, including: scenarios, imagines; thoughts, prompts; etc. Feel free to send in those things. I will not respond to any asks that I do not wish to or that make me uncomfortable. Feel free to ask for clarification if you wish.
I currently write for Honkai: Star Rail. I mainly write for popular characters and characters I fancy, but you can request any character; I just might not answer if I struggle to characterise them. I write for gender neutral readers unless prompted otherwise. Any suggestive works may mention anatomical parts though, though I will clarify what is used beforehand.
I like a range of genres and enjoy yanderes and all that jazz, but I have limits. I will not write for anything that I am not comfortable with (i.e. incest, pedophilia, SA, etc.) or anything unsanitary.
ŕŞââ´ You're... Really into this stuff, aren't you?
With all that done, I'll let you in on a little secret! đŤś
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Wow, I just logged back in after like a million years. There's a couple Amphoreus posts sitting in my drafts I completely forgot about O_O
It's that time of the year where I feel like writing again. Life is FINALLY stable again so I plan to release one WIP within the next week or so (yahooo!!)
This blog theme will end following that publication. I plan to re-do my pinned with updated information + make a masterlist for archival purposes.
Sunday doesnât skip lunch. Ever. However, if the nutritious value of a meal could be condensed into a small cube, taken with water like some sort of medication, instead of him having to go through the arduous and time-consuming task of a meal, heâd willingly offer such a solution to his digestive system in a heartbeat. It would present the opportunity of a restructuring of his day.
Away from the masses that push into the cafeteria building and cut in line, away from other people's hands that make his meals â he would get to be far away from all these variables, which are out of his control.
TAGS: HSR Office AU, pining, Sunday is a germaphobe and also has an excel sheet for every aspect of his life, food, eating, sickness, fluff, annoyances at work to lovers, self-doubt
WORD COUNT: 3.8k
NOTES: I feel a little nervous posting this, considering it has been so long. This was written for my sweet Niku (@/sunglazing)!
Sunday doesnât stray from his routine.
Every single morning, he wakes up at 6 AM sharp. Morning stretches are followed by a light breakfast and a cup of chamomile tea, followed by a shower and his regular routine to make himself look presentable and proper. A matching set of clothes waits for him on his lounge chair, ironed the previous day. Then: Oxfords to match his outfit, either in black or brown. No brogues â he isnât a party animal who would wear something so non-traditional on a regular day of work.
His drive to work takes eighteen minutes. Twentysix, if itâs a busy morning. It takes three flights of stairs for him to reach his office, two instances of holding his company card onto a scanner to allow himself entry into the building, and then, the second floor. A pump of his disinfectant rounds out his routine, before he opens his laptop to check his emails.
The first twenty minutes of his work day are spent on organizational tasks. Checking his emails, planning his day, and mapping out the tasks that need to be done before 5 PM. Then, he neatly prioritizes them, sends out meeting invitations, and does meeting prep. Important tasks are done by 12 PM, and lunch is as much of a reward as it is simply a necessity.Â
Sunday doesnât skip lunch. Ever. However, if the nutritious value of a meal could be condensed into a small cube, taken with water like some sort of medication, instead of him having to go through the arduous and time-consuming task of a meal, heâd willingly offer such a solution to his digestive system in a heartbeat. It would present the opportunity of a restructure of his day. Away from the masses that push into the cafeteria building and cut in line, away from hands that make his meals â he would get to be far away from all these variables, which are out of his control.
Once lunch is over and the food is settling in his stomach, he takes a small walk through the inner courtyard, getting some much-needed movement and fresh air, before he heads back inside. Some small hand-stretches kickstart his progress on the afternoon's load of work. By 4:45 PM, he is setting up his materials for the following day. Disinfecting his workstation, he puts on his jacket, takes his bag, and leaves. The company card beeps twice against the scanners, two floors down, the car greets him with a harmonious sound someone had been paid a fortune to create, and then he begins his drive home.
âItâs easy to plan ahead. Even his home routine is mapped out in a way that benefits his household workload and his energy levels. There are as few variables in Sundayâs life, for there is no need for them to disrupt his peace. Where there is chaos, he can simply bring structure into it and tidy it up.
No matter if said variable is of a human nature or not.
Tuesday, 1st of April
You arrive fifteen minutes early on your first day at work. Sunday makes a mental note, applauding your punctuality. Being on time is something that even long-standing employees of the company struggle with to this day. A futile complaint, when the root of the problem sits in the CEOâs chair.
There is nothing outstanding about this first day. Itâs like any other. He explains the on-premise rules, hands over any necessary documents, as well as your entry card. The next few hours are spent guiding you through the building and the more hands-on departments of the building. This used to bother him in the past, but there is no product that cannot be packaged and advertised to look and feel prim and proper with the right language and handling. Your attitude is very professional and coupled with the right amount of curiosity. Your verbal participation during his tour is a pleasant surprise.
Your first misstep happens when the day ends and Sunday takes off his gloves, wishing to reach for the disinfectant on his desk.
A firm, warm hand grabs one of his, shaking it properly. âThank you so much for guiding me around today. I really appreciate that you took the time to answer all of my questions.â You let go, packing your things. âIâll be seeing you, Mr. Sunday!â you tell him on your way out, with the excitement only a motivated, new hire could carry. He wonders how long itâll take for that fiery exhilaration to settle into a calm simmer.
The warmth of your skin sticks to his hand, and even two rounds of disinfectant arenât able to remove it. It bothers him, but he tries not to dwell on it, for your sake.
It was your first day after all.
Thursday, 22nd of May
Potatoes, fish, and a salad.
Sunday cuts his food into neat little pieces, carefully, so as not to get the rĂŠmoulade on his white button-up. Itâs warm where he sits, just slightly out of the sun that shines into the cafeteria building through the big glass fronts, but close enough to benefit from the warmth it provides.
The noise of a chair being dragged across the linoleum floor rips him out of his mental summary of his earlier meeting. Looking up, heâs met with your happy expression.
Why are you sitting down across from him?
On your tray, thereâs a bowl filled with noodles, piled high and covered in sauce and vegetables, a salad, and not one, but two of the small panna cotta desserts that they serve in these ridiculously intricate glass forms. Sunday is sure that they are a pain to wash, but industrial washers are another caliber entirely. Purchasing tableware like that would be an unwise decision for any private household.
âI finished my first presentation for the higher-ups today.â
Pools of molten gold travel their way up from your tray to your face, where they settle, analyzing your expression in that way that is a little more familiar to you now, slightly stressful nonetheless. You donât know what Sunday is looking for in your expression, but you hope heâs not finding anything that displeases him.
âIs that so?â he asks, rolling the words around on his tongue before he tilts his head. âHow did that go for you?â
âReally well,â comes your reply before you remind yourself not to boast. You hesitate. â...I think. The feedback was more positive than I had expected it to be, honestly.â Sundayâs brows furrow at that. He has seen your resumĂŠ, was present during your assessment, and heâs gotten insight into some of your previous projects. Youâre capable; they would have never chosen you for your current position if you werenât.
Is it self-doubt?
âAre you unaware of your capabilities, or is it mere performance anxiety?â he asks, taking a bite of his food. âDid anyone on the board cause you to feel that way? If there are any issues, I canââ
With your glass up against your lips, you splutter unelegantly, making Sunday grimace as he offers you one of the napkins he grabbed earlier. Coughing, you take it and dab at your lips, and your glass is put down on the table now. âNo, no, itâs not like that,â you tell him. âItâs just easier to be a pessimist and be pleasantly surprised than it is to be disappointed when youâve expected a grand outcome. Itâs difficult for me to be cocky.â
A dire point of view to take up in life, Sunday thinks. Heâs more of a realist himself, so itâs not like he can defend an optimistic lifestyle with self-assured sincerity. However, he does think youâd do better to be a little kinder to yourself. To your work.â
âYouâre highly capable â I have witnessed the market average during our interview process for your position after all. Itâs okay to hope for more and to want things. Youâre allowed to take up the space youâve earned for yourself. That wouldnât be cocky of you.â
Itâs a little distant, but thereâs a certain warmth to his words. Thereâs also a bit of humor in the way he throws your words back at you, and it pulls a smile from you. Sunday feels gratification stretch out languidly within his chest.
âThen, Mr. Sunday,â you begin, grabbing one of the dessert glasses and putting it on his tray, âLetâs celebrate my success. Iâm inviting you to a round of dessert.â
One glance at the glass.
He doesnât pick up items that others hand him so willy-nilly, especially not items meant for consumption.
Sundayâs hand moves to your tray, picking up the second spoon youâve brought for dessert. âThank you for the invitation, then. To many more successes.â
Monday, 25th of August
Itâs raining.
The sort of weather that makes anyone want to stay at home, curled up in their bed as the cloudsâ tears trickle onto their windows, dragging paths across the glass. Warm weather, coupled with the sudden onslaught of rain and wind, always tends to tire Sunday out. He, too, falls victim to the mood swings of nature, and today, he feels out of it.
Not enough to stay at home and ruin his yearâs perfect attendance.
So, when he arrives at work, he merely adjusts his daily routine to lead him to the underground parking lot. A calculated move to ensure he doesnât get wet under the heavy shower of the heavens. Not to say that Sunday does not carry an umbrella. He keeps one on him at all times to ensure the safety of his clothing. Some of the fabrics that he likes to wear can be a bit sensitive to thoughtless watering via rain. He also isnât too fond of a wet hair-do. Carrying an umbrella at all times is a calculated precaution.
The building is mostly empty today.
Figures â if given the opportunity to work from home, most people are going to make use of it on a day such as today.
Sunday secretly wishes he had done so as well. Maybe even called in sick, but his ego did not permit him to do such a thing. A shame.
Today, his way to the office leads him to the kitchen instead, where he fills up the kettle with fresh water from the tap. Inside his mind, heâs trying to work through his routine for today. There was the Q2 report that he had to run by Miss Fu Xuan this Friday, for which he had to prepare some slides. A re-work of the current onboarding program according to the data heâs collected this past year. An email he had to reply to, which required him toâŚ
â...SundayâŚâ
Itâs a little strange. He knows thereâs something left unfinished, but it wonât come to mind. Did someone ask for something? Did he need to send something to someone? Did he need to oversee someoneâs work? Who needed something from him in the first place? His mind feels hazy, and no matter how hard he thinks, not even a rough idea of what needs to be done appears inside his inner thinking space.
âMr. Sunday.â
His skin feels sticky. His collar is awfully tight around his throat, and thereâs a lump inside that makes it difficult to swallow. His hands feel cold and clammy andâ
âSunday!â
The young man is ripped out of his daze when you grab his forearm and pull it out of the stream of water. The kettle is filled to the brim, consistently overflowing. Judging by the state of the sink, he must have been letting the water run over his hands for quite a while now.
His gloves are wet.
When he blinks, itâs almost as if you materialize in front of him out of thin air. Youâre close, standing right in front of him as you put the kettle onto its base after drying it off. Then, you redirect your attention to him, carefully peeling the gloves off his fingers. âI am sorry, but these are soaked,â you mumble, brows drawn into an apologetic frown upon doing something you know he dislikes.
Sunday is puzzled.
You look worried, and he decides that this isnât an expression he wishes to see on your face. His hand squeezes yours gently. âWhatâs wrong?â His question feels like it isnât spoken by him, his tongue as heavy as lead inside his mouth, the space between his ears filled with cotton.
âI should be asking you that,â you mutter, exasperated. Your free hand moves to touch his forehead and Sunday finds himself leaning into your touch pliantly, his eyes closing upon the contact of your cool palm against his warm skin.
The rest is all vague and blurry. The way to the infirmary, the methodical touches by Dr. Luocha, the way you drag him to your car, and tell him youâll be bringing his car around once you are able to. What he recognizes is your voice and the warmth of your hands, particularly when you haul him into his home (he will have to ask you how you got his keys and why it doesnât bother him when you enter his private space â maybe youâll have an answer for both of these questions) and get him to rest in his bed.
Sleep takes him, once heâs being comforted by his clean sheets, your hand on his cheek, and the soothing sound of your voice. They carry him into slumber, far, far away from his work routine and his aching body.
Itâs only when his eyes are closed and he can only hear your voice, that he remembers what sort of email he had to respond to:
Your email regarding his sisterâs tour and her concert that you went to. He had wanted to thank you for your support and invite you to another show of hers. Maybe heâll remember, once he wakes up again.
Wednesday, 8th of October
Today, Sunday meets you right as you enter the building on the ground level.
You donât seem to be aware of how youâre practically geared up to run right into the stair railing, so Sunday reaches out to grab your arm by your elbow and gently redirects you to step to the side ever so slightly. This startles you so much that you end up bumping your hip into the railing anyway. A soft hiss leaves you upon impact, and you shuffle where you stand, your hand resting on where youâve hit the metal bar.
âAre you alright?â the man asks carefully, his hand on your arm, tentative. Heâs still holding onto you and he is surprised to find that the warmth of your skin, which he can feel through your shirt, isnât remotely unpleasant.
âOh... Yeah, sorry,â you tug your arm out of his hold ever so gently, but you still donât seem to be all there. You look⌠Rough. Not that you donât look as beautiful as you always doâ Sunday halts for a moment, stopping his train of thought. Thatâs not important and not proper right now.
You look exhausted. Not in the way one does when they simply sleep too little or when theyâve had a long day. Itâs a deeper issue, that much, he can tell. The area around your eyes is dry and he swears he could trace the freshly dried tear tracks on your cheeks with a finger, and heâd find a remnant of dampness if he were to reach out right now.
âWhat happened?â Sunday probes carefully, tugging you to the side, away from any onlookers that might be taking the staircase.
There it is. The defence you build up every single day, in an effort to stay professional. Youâve told him this before: That you struggle seeing yourself the way others do. That you always believe you are doing a far worse job than you are. Impostor syndrome is what you had called it.
Your colleague understands the turmoil inside your heart, which must rear its ugly head upon being caught by him in a situation like this, where you are emotional instead of the put-together version of yourself that you prefer to show everyone at work.
A shaky exhale falls from your wobbly lips and Sunday surprises himself with the swiftness with which he pulls you closer.
âI wonât look,â he promises, his gloved hand cradling your head close against his chest, not offering any reaction when you cry into the thick material of the double-breasted vest he is wearing. He is unbothered by it. Not a single thought of his is spent thinking about any stains or marks, but instead, all his thoughts are dedicated to one task:
How should he go about comforting you?
Once your quiet sobs and the trembling of your shoulders have subsided into mere hiccups and sniffles, he grabs you by the shoulders and works out a bit of distance between your bodies. Not in any way that would feel like a rejection of sorts. Looking down at you, he offers an open, soft smile, âWill you join me for a cup of tea in my office?â
Usually, heâd be heading up to immediately get to his routine, and a tea break is certainly not even up for debate so early in the morning, before any work is finished. However, right now seems like a good time for an exception.
He expects a bit of a fight, so your immediate nod takes him off guard.
That inexplicable warmth stretches its way through his chest, a little easier to understand today than it usually is. Sunday offers you a gloved hand and finds that your hand in his is something he wouldnât dislike becoming a part of his routine.
Friday, 19th of Decemberâ
Electric candles glow inside the small glasses, allowing the tinted shapes to spread their lights across whatever surrounds the small trinkets. The lights leave their mark on Sundayâs face as well, golden stars stretching out over his flushed cheeks before he hides them from the shadows being cast over them, choosing to hide his face in his scarf as much as he can.
Golden eyes, brighter than any light displayed at the small stall at the Christmas market, flit over to where you are standing. In your hands, thereâs a mug, similar to the ones you both were holding onto earlier, when youâd grabbed mulled wine after work. Youâd have to take advantage of the season on your final day of work, youâd explained earlier, and Sunday accompanied you. With the fitting excuse of it already being late and him not being in a rush to get into the busy rush hour traffic right before Christmas week.
A lot has changed over the past year and while Sunday isnât a melancholic guy, he does think about his life and the things that have changed, every once in a while. In a healthy way, nowadays, not the way that would leave him feeling burdened and bothered about othersâ issues in their day-to-day lives.
Changes are difficult for Sunday.
There is a familiar comfort within the way of life he has created for himself over the years. Itâs very different from how he was raised and heâs glad about that. Itâs his own life â one that he has molded with his own hands. A steady one that includes his work, his sister, a few precious friendships, and hobbies for leisure. Itâs a quiet life, but one that feels good to him.
However, now it seems to include you.
Youâve dug your way underneath his skin, past the professional distance he keeps up with co-workers and new acquaintances, and youâve taken root. Somewhere, buried deep between his ribs, where the pulse of his heart has started to quicken more often these days, there is a place which youâve carved out for yourself. Small, at first, but over the months, it has become big enough for Sunday to notice. At first, it had bothered him, but now, you are just as at home in there as the thought of you is in his mind.
You only look up from the mug when he hands you a little bag. On it is the emblem of the small vendor. Thereâs a glint in your eyes and your expression is caught between a fluster and gratefulness. Sunday gladly takes both of those emotions for himself, filing them away in his mind.
By now, you know that refusing a gift from your colleague is futile, so you offer your thanks and hold onto his arm, which he has offered you. The Christmas market is filled with people. Families trying not to lose each other, people meeting their friends, lovers. Everyone seems to have huddled together for some joy and some warmth before the grand holidays, spreading cheer. There isnât much of a need for words between you, but conversations come easily. Work, hobbies, and which books youâre both currently reading. Trivial things. Easy things.
One topic after the next brings you to your door and suddenly, Sunday wishes the way home would have taken a little longer. That the masses at the market had been a little more difficult to navigate through.
âThank you for taking me home,â you offer your sincere thanks. Sunday wonders if your lips are as warm as the tone of your voice when you speak to him. âAnd thank you for the gift.â
His eyes search yours, and for a moment, it feels like the world is a little quieter. âNext year,â Sunday whispers, making you lean in so you can catch every word, âI want to change my routine.â
Surprised, you blink up at him.
Sunday. Changing his beloved routine. Even in the short time youâve known him, it has become clear to you that he sticks to his plans and that they are nothing short of holy to him.
âI would like it to include more quality time.â With you.
His words are accompanied by him taking off his gloves and putting them into the pocket of his coat. Gently, he cups your cheeks, tilting your face up. âWould you be alright with that?â
There is an earnestness about his gaze that has replaced the guarded looks heâd give you just a few months ago. A warmth that is solely yours, that belongs to you alone, whether you know it or not. His cheeks are a soft pink, lashes dusted with snowflakes, his attention on you.
You relax into his hold, offering him a happy smile. âMaybe we can work out a shared routine together?â you suggest, earning a sweet chuckle in return.
The paper bag in your hand feels light as it swings along slightly, once you push up onto your tiptoes to meet Sunday halfway. Two mugs are packed inside it, ready to find their place in your home soon.
I need to see our emotionally closed off men being given healthy affection and love.............
aka I wish to request a gn!reader who is naturally affectionate and lovey dovey even in friendship with no romantic feelings (trust that it eventually goes to romantic affection) eg: giving hugs, cuddles, head kisses, constantly saying I love you, I'm proud of you, you mean the world to me, etc..
I would like to see mydei, anaxa, Dan heng, and/or phaion/ jing yuan separately :33
Learning Affection (Phainon. Anaxa. Mydei. Jing Yuan. Dan Heng. x Reader. Separate)
A/N: Hi anon! Thank you so much for this request. I loved it the moment I saw it. :) Thank you for your patience, I wanted to include all characters you asked for, so this took a bit longer. :) I hope you enjoy these five little scenarios. Each of them learning affection in their own way. đ
You hug Phainon from behind after he helps you with something small. Just carrying books, or fixing something that broke, nothing grand or heroic. Nothing that requires the Deliverer. Just Phainon being kind because thatâs who he is.
Your arms wrap around his waist and you rest your cheek against his back, feeling the warmth of him through his clothes.
âIâm proud of you. You know that, right?â
Phainon short-circuits.
Every thought scatters like dandelion seeds in wind. His breath catches in his chest, and for a moment he forgets how to exhale, forgets how to do anything except stand perfectly still and try to process what you just said.
No one says things like this to him. People thank the Chrysos Heirs for their service. They praise the Deliverer for fulfilling his role in the prophecy.
They donât just casually wrap their arms around Phainon and tell him theyâre proud of him for existing. For being himself. For the small, ordinary kindness of helping carry something.
The words settle into him like stones dropping into still water, sending ripples through every part of his chest. Something deep and ancient and wounded inside him stops hurting for just a moment. Like a constant ache heâd learned to ignore suddenly going quiet.
Then he very slowly, very carefully, like heâs afraid youâll disappear if he moves too fast or breaks whatever spell is allowing this moment to exist, rests his hand over yours where theyâre linked against his stomach. His fingers are trembling slightly. You can feel it.
ââŚSay it again?â
Itâs barely audible. A whisper caught in his throat, rough with something that might be desperation or wonder or both tangled together so tightly he canât tell them apart.
And he doesnât even understand why he needs to hear it. Only that when you say it, something fundamental shifts in his world. Like heâs been walking through a cold, dark place for so long he forgot what warmth felt like, and now suddenly thereâs sunlight on his face and he doesnât want it to end.
You say it again, your voice soft and certain against his back: âIâm proud of you, Phainon.â
His grip on your hands tightens slightly. Like heâs anchoring himself.
After that, you keep saying it. Whenever you see him. Whenever he does something kind or thoughtful or just exists in your vicinity being himself.
âIâm proud of you.â
âYou mean the world to me.â
âI love you.â
Casual and easy, like itâs the simplest truth in the world. Like it costs you nothing to give him everything he didnât know he was starving for.
Every single time, Phainon freezes. Every single time, his breath catches and his eyes go wide like youâve said something miraculous.
Every single time, he softens. Shoulders dropping, expression melting into something vulnerable and wondering.
Every single time, he holds onto the words like lifelines, like treasures, like prayers heâs afraid to forget.
He starts seeking you out more. Sitting closer during meals. Finding excuses to be in the same room. Standing near you when he doesnât need to, just to exist in your orbit.
His presence becomes a constant, gentle thing. Always nearby, always hopeful.
You donât comment on it. Donât tease or question. Just keep giving him what heâs been starving for his entire life. Simple, uncomplicated affection that asks for nothing in return.
One day Phainon is the one who reaches for you first.
Youâre reading, or cooking, or just existing in the same space doing something mundane and comfortable. And suddenly his fingers are brushing yours where your hand rests on the counter. Hesitant. Testing. Like heâs not sure heâs allowed but hoping desperately that he is.
âMay IâŚâ Phainon swallows hard enough that you can see his throat move. âMay I have another hug?â
His voice is so soft itâs almost lost in the quiet of the room. So vulnerable it makes your chest ache. Like heâs asking for something precious and irreplaceable that heâs not entirely sure he deserves but wants so badly he had to ask anyway.
You donât hesitate. Donât make him wait or wonder or doubt. Just open your arms in invitation.
Phainon steps into them like heâs coming home. Wraps himself around you like youâre the only solid thing in a tilting world, like if he holds tight enough maybe youâll never let go.
His face presses into your shoulder and you can feel him trembling. Fine tremors running through his whole body like heâs been holding himself together for so long and can finally, finally let go.
âThank you,â Phainon whispers into your hair, voice breaking slightly on the words. âThank you.â
Heâs choosing it now. Choosing you. Choosing to want this, to need this, to let himself have this.
After that, he becomes quietly, desperately clingy in the most endearing way.
He hugs you from behind while youâre working on something, chin hooked over your shoulder and arms wrapped around your waist like he belongs there.
He rests his head on your shoulder when heâs tired, the weight of him warm and trusting and comfortable.
He holds your hand like heâs afraid youâll vanish if he lets go for even a moment. Fingers threaded through yours, thumb tracing absent patterns on your skin.
And he starts saying it back, unprompted and earnest:
âIâm proud of you too.â
âYou mean everything to me.â
âI love you.â
Not casual anymore. Not easy. Weighted with everything he feels, everything heâs learning heâs allowed to want, everything heâs been holding back for so long.
One night, curled together on the couch with your legs tangled and his head resting over your heart, he presses his face into your neck and goes very still.
âI never knew,â he whispers, and his voice is thick with emotion, âthat being loved could feel like this.â
âLike what?â
You can feel his breath warm against your skin, can feel his heartbeat where your bodies are pressed together.
âLike coming home,â Phainon says finally. âLike being whole. Like Iâm exactly where Iâm supposed to be.â
He lifts his head to look at you, and his eyes are bright with unshed tears and wonder and love so fierce it takes your breath away.
âThank you,â Phainon says again. âFor teaching me what this feels like.â
You cup his face gently, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones, and he leans into the touch like a flower turning toward the sun.
âAlways,â you promise.
And you mean it.
ââââââââââââ
ANAXA
You cup Anaxaâs face gently because he looks exhausted. Dark circles shadowing the skin under his eye, shoulders carrying tension like a physical weight, that far-off look in his gaze that means heâs been pushing himself too hard again, burning himself out in pursuit of truth or duty or whatever impossible standard heâs set for himself this time.
Your palms are warm against his cheeks. He goes very, very still under your touch, like heâs forgotten how to move.
âLove you. Please take a break today.â
Anaxa blinks at you like youâve just spoken a forbidden incantation. Like the words donât make sense in the order youâve put them. His eye goes wide, and his breath catches audibly in the quiet space between you.
For a moment he just stares, and you can practically see his mind working frantically to process what youâve said, to categorize it, to understand it, to file it away in whatever meticulous mental organization system he uses to make sense of the world.
âDo not say things like that so casually,â Anaxa mutters, but his voice is unsteady in a way youâve never heard before. Shaky. Uncertain. âMy heart is not built for that.â
He canât even finish the sentence. Canât even say the word âloveâ back to you, like speaking it aloud would make it too real, too overwhelming, too much for his carefully controlled existence to contain.
He pulls away from your touch and walks away mid-sentence, movements sharp and precise even as you can see the rigid set of his shoulders, the way his hands clench briefly at his sides.
Heâs walking away because he can feel warmth rising up his neck, creeping into his cheeks, spreading across his face in a blush he absolutely hates. Hates that a couple of words from you can undo him like this. Hates that he canât control his reaction. Hates how much he wants to hear you say it again.
But exactly one hour later, because of course he timed it, of course he needed that precise amount of time to process and analyze and gather enough courage, he finds you again.
ââŚDid you mean it?â
Quiet. Almost shy. But he refuses to meet your eyes, staring determinedly at something over your shoulder or to the side, anywhere but directly at you because that would be too much, too vulnerable, too honest.
âOf course I meant it.â
ââŚI see.â
Anaxa says nothing else. Just stands there for a moment, absorbing this information, filing it away somewhere precious and protected in his mind. But his cheeks are red. Unmistakably red.
And you can see the smallest, most reluctant smile trying to form at the corner of his mouth before he suppresses it.
You keep saying it after that. Because you do love him. As a friend, as a person you care about deeply, as someone whose presence in your life matters.
Anaxa keeps pretending to be annoyed. Keeps muttering about how you shouldnât say such things so carelessly, about how youâre going to give him a heart condition, about how you clearly donât understand the gravity of what youâre saying.
But he never asks you to stop.
And you notice heâs always within earshot when you say it.
He starts doing small things back. Things he would never acknowledge as reciprocation but that you recognize for what they are.
Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder when youâre stressed, the touch careful and deliberate like heâs thought about it extensively before committing to the action.
Standing closer than strictly necessary when youâre working together, close enough that you can feel the warmth of him, smell whatever subtle scent clings to his clothes.
Speaking softlyâalmost tenderlyâwhen addressing you, but only when youâre alone. Only when no one else can witness this small vulnerability heâs allowing himself.
One day youâre exhausted, running on too little sleep and too much worry, and he quietly sets tea beside you without a word. The temperature is perfect. Itâs prepared exactly how you like it. Heâs been paying attention.
âDrink. Youâve been working too long.â
âThanks, Anaxagoras. Love you.â
He freezes. Just for a moment. ââŚI know.â
A pause stretches between you, weighted with something unspoken.
Then, barely audible, like the words are being pulled from somewhere deep inside him against his will:
âYou matter to me as well.â
Your head snaps up in surprise, but heâs already turning away. Except you catch itâthe smallest smile on his lips. Soft. Genuine. Meant only for you.
Anaxa doesnât say âI love youâ easily. The words donât come naturally to him, donât flow the way they do for you. They catch in his throat, weighted with too much meaning, too much vulnerability.
But he does say other things. âYou matter more to me than anything else.â
Which, from Anaxa, is the same as screaming it towards the Titans. Is the same as writing it across the sky. Is the same as every grand romantic gesture condensed into one careful, honest sentence.
He shows it instead, in ways that are so perfectly him:
Memorizing exactly how you take your tea and preparing it without being asked.
Organizing your room when youâre overwhelmed, creating order from chaos in a way that soothes both of you.
Standing between you and anything that might hurt youâphysical or emotionalâlike itâs instinct, like protecting you is as natural as breathing.
And one night, when youâre both tired and the world is finally, blessedly quiet, he reaches for your hand.
The movement is deliberate. Careful. His fingers slide against yours slowly, giving you every opportunity to pull away if you want to. But you donât. You never would.
Anaxa threads his fingers through yours properly, palm to palm, and holds on. Doesnât let go.
âThis is acceptable,â he murmurs, but thereâs something soft in his voice. Something content.
You laugh quietly, warmth blooming in your chest. âJust acceptable?â
His thumb strokes once across the back of your hand. ââŚMore than acceptable.â
He squeezes your hand gently, carefully, like youâre something precious. âEssential,â Anaxa admits, so quietly you almost miss it.
And when you look at him, his cheeks are red again. But heâs smiling. Actually smiling.
And he still hasnât let go of your hand.
ââââââââââââ
MYDEI
You hug Mydei tightly around his upper body after he returns from a dangerous mission. Heâs half-naked as usual, all hard muscle and sun-warmed skin and barely-contained power thrumming just beneath the surface.
You can see the exhaustion in the set of his shoulders, the lingering tension from battle that hasnât quite left his body yet. You watch him remove his armor, your mind brimming with things you want to tell him.
âIâm glad youâre safe. Youâre important to me.â
Mydei goes completely, utterly rigid.
Every muscle in his body locks up like youâve frozen him in place. His arms hover uselessly at his sides, hands half-raised like he was reaching for something but forgot what it was mid-motion.
He doesnât know where to put them. Doesnât know what to do with his body when someone is holding him like this. Gentle and careful and relieved, like his safety actually matters to them beyond his usefulness in combat.
His heart is beating like heâs still in battle. You can feel it hammering against your cheek where youâre pressed against his chest. Rapid and hard and unsteady. Fight or flight response when thereâs no fight to be had and nowhere to flee to.
âImportant?â Mydei repeats slowly, like heâs testing the word in his mouth. Tasting it. Trying to understand its shape and weight and meaning when applied to him.
Nobody has ever said it to him without conditions before. Without expectations attached. Without needing something from him first. His strength, his skill, his willingness to fight and bleed and break for their cause.
He almost doesnât know how to breathe around the feeling expanding in his chest. Something warm and uncomfortable and desperately wanted all at once.
Thereâs a long moment where neither of you move. Where you just hold him and let him process, let him figure out what to do with this new experience of being valued for existing rather than for what he can do.
Then, very carefully, his arms come up around you. Stiff and awkward at first, like heâs not entirely sure how to hold someone gently. Like almost all his experience with his body involves strength and force and heâs terrified of applying too much of either.
But he wraps his arms around you gently and holds on. ââŚThank you.â
Itâs all he can manage. All he can force past the tightness in his throat. But itâs sincere. Raw. Honest in the Mydei way.
You keep doing it after that. Hugging him when he comes back from missions. Telling him he matters to you. Making sure he knows his importance isnât conditional on his usefulness.
He gets better at accepting it. His arms come around you faster each time. Hold tighter. Longer. Like heâs learning that itâs allowed, that he can have this, that he doesnât have to earn every moment of gentleness.
Next time, Mydei is the one who pulls you into the hug first.
Youâre not expecting it. He just comes back from patrol and immediately crosses the space between you, movements purposeful and direct like heâs made a decision and wonât be deterred.
Wordless. Just stepping close and wrapping his arms around you with a sureness that wasnât there before. Lifting you slightly off your feet because he forgets his own strength sometimes, because holding you tight feels more important than propriety or restraint.
He rests his chin on your head, and you can feel him relax. Actually relax. The tension draining out of his shoulders, his breathing evening out, his heartbeat slowing to something calm and steady.
âYou ground me,â Mydei mutters into your hair, voice low and rough like gravel.
Which is his version of: âI love you. Iâd cross worlds for you. Youâre the reason I come back. Youâre the reason I fight. Youâre the reason I try to survive.â
Mydei becomes fiercely, protectively physical in a way thatâs both overwhelming in the best way and endearing.
Hand on the small of your back whenever youâre walking together. Possessive and protective and grounding all at once. Arm around your shoulders in crowds, keeping you close, keeping you safe, keeping you his. Pulling you against his side like itâs natural, like you belong there, like heâs not complete unless youâre within reach.
He doesnât use many words for feelings. Never has. Language has always been a secondary tool for him, less reliable than action, less honest than the body.
But his body speaks volumes. The way he positions himself between you and anything that might be dangerous, instinct and choice combined.
The way he relaxes only when youâre near, like your presence is the only thing that lets him lower his guard.
The way he seeks your touch like itâs the only thing keeping him anchored to something good and gentle in a world thatâs taught him mostly violence.
One night, holding you close with your back against his chest and his arms wrapped around you like heâs trying to shield you from the whole world, he says:
âBefore you, I didnât know gentleness. I tried to be kind to to others because my life had been anything but to me. Just survival.â
His voice is rough with honesty. Thick with emotion he doesnât quite know how to name. âI didnât know I could have it, though. I didnât think I could give it although I wanted to.â
He presses his face against your neck, and you can feel his breath warm against your skin.
âThank you for teaching me.â
You turn in his arms to face him, and his eyes are softer than youâve ever seen them. Vulnerable in a way he only ever is with you.
âThank you for learning,â you whisper back.
Mydei kisses you then. Gentle despite all that strength, careful despite all that power. Like youâre something precious heâs still learning not to break.
ââââââââââââ
JING YUAN
You sit beside him during a rare break in his endless responsibilities and lean against his shoulder, comfortable and easy and trusting in a way that makes something warm settle in his chest.
âJing Yuan? Youâre doing amazing. Iâm proud of you.â
Jing Yuan gives you a slow, lazy smile. The one heâs perfected over centuries, the one he uses to deflect and hide and maintain careful distance between himself and anything that might actually touch him.
âOh? Flattery now? Should I expect more of this?â
But the teasing hides the truth.
Your affection hits him deeply, sinking past all his carefully constructed defenses and landing right in the quiet, lonely places he buries under charm and humor and the weight of duty.
Right in the parts of himself he doesnât let anyone see. The parts that are tired and uncertain and so, so lonely despite being surrounded by people who respect him and fear him and admire him from a distance that never quite closes.
Heâs the General. The Divine Foresight.
People respect him. Fear him. Admire him. Follow him into battle and trust him with their lives.
But youâre proud of him. Not the General. Not the title or the position or the divine foresight that sets him apart from everyone else.
Just him. Just Jing Yuan.
And he doesnât quite know what to do with that. Doesnât know how to process the way it makes his chest feel too full and too tight all at once.
Later, when you stand to leave, he catches your wrist gently. His fingers wrap around it carefully, thumb resting against your pulse point where he can feel your heartbeat.
ââŚStay a little longer?â
Soft. Almost vulnerable. His guard slipping just enough for you to see past the lazy smile and the clever deflections to the loneliness underneath. To the part of him thatâs so tired of being alone in rooms full of people.
You stay.
He doesnât say anything else. Doesnât need to. Just keeps your hand in his, thumb tracing absent patterns on your skin like heâs memorizing the shape of this moment.
Jing Yuan starts seeking your presence more deliberately after that.
Inviting you to join him for tea when he doesnât actually need company but wants yours specifically.
Finding excuses to walk with you between meetings, stretching five minutes into fifteen into half an hour of comfortable conversation.
Sitting closer during shared meals, close enough that your shoulders brush, close enough that he can feel the warmth of you.
The touches become more frequent. More intentional. Casual brushes that arenât quite as casual as he pretends they are.
One day youâre reading in his office while he works. Comfortable silence, shared space, the kind of easy companionship heâs craved for longer than heâd ever admit. He just puts his head in your lap.
No warning. No asking permission. Just sets aside the report heâs been reviewing and lies down with his head pillowed on your thigh like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
âComfortable?â you ask, amused and fond and completely unsurprised because this is exactly the kind of thing Jing Yuan would do.
âExtremely.â He closes his eyes with a contented sigh that sounds like relief. âYour presence is soothing.â His voice is soft. Genuine. Without any of his usual playful deflection.
âLove you too, Jing Yuan.â
He smiles without opening his eyes. A real smile, not the lazy one he shows the world. Soft and warm and meant only for you. âI know.â
Jing Yuan becomes shamelessly, unapologetically clingy at home.
Head in your lap while you read, perfectly content to stay there for hours. Fingers constantly finding yours whether youâre walking or sitting or just existing in the same space, threading through them and holding on like itâs as natural as breathing.
Pulling you into his arms whenever possible. Morning, evening, middle of the night when he canât sleep and seeks you out for the comfort of your warmth.
âHm? What? I simply enjoy your presence. Is that a crime?â
But his eyes are soft when he says it. Genuinely happy in a way you rarely see from him in his official capacity. Like here, with you, he can finally set down the weight of being the General and just be himself.
Youâve never seen him this relaxed. This unguarded. This content.
One quiet evening when the world outside is distant and irrelevant, youâre curled together with his head on your shoulder and your fingers combing slowly through his white hair:
âYou know,â Jing Yuan murmurs, voice low and contemplative, âIâve lived a very long time.â
âMmhm.â
âCenturies of battles and strategies and responsibilities. Centuries of maintaining distance, of being untouchable, of never letting anyone truly close.â He shifts slightly, burrowing deeper into your embrace. âAnd Iâve never felt this content.â
He presses a kiss to your temple. Soft and lingering and full of everything he doesnât quite know how to say.
âThank you for that.â
You hold him tighter, and he makes a sound of contentment thatâs almost a purr.
âThank you for letting me,â you whisper back.
Jing Yuan smiles against your skin.
âAlways.â
ââââââââââââ
DAN HENG
You press a gentle kiss to the top of his head when heâs readingâabsorbed in whatever book or data file has captured his attention, brow slightly furrowed in concentrationâand whisper:
âIâm proud of you.â
Dan Heng freezes like youâve cast a spell on him. Like time itself has stopped and left him suspended in this single moment.
The book falls slightly in his hands, pages fluttering. His shoulders tense, going rigid in a way that has nothing to do with threat and everything to do with not knowing how to process what just happened.
He doesnât move. Doesnât breathe. Doesnât do anything except sit perfectly still and try to understand. ââŚWhy?â
The question hangs in the air, weighted with every insecurity he carries, every doubt that whispers heâs not worthy of simple affection.
âBecause youâre you. Thatâs enough.â
Heâs silent for a long time. So long you think maybe he wonât respond, maybe youâve pushed too far, offered too much too soon.
But later his cheeks are pink and he keeps glancing at you like heâs replaying the moment in his mind. Over and over. Trying to understand it. Trying to believe it. Trying to memorize exactly how it felt to be told heâs enough just as he is.
You keep doing it after that. Small affections offered freely.
Shoulder touches when you pass by. Head kisses when heâs focused on something. Quiet âIâm proud of youâs that make him pause whatever heâs doing and look at you with those solemn, wondering eyes.
He never asks you to stop.
Dan Heng starts seeking small contact in return. Tentative at first, like heâs not entirely sure itâs allowed but hoping desperately that it is.
Sitting closer than strictly necessary when youâre both reading, close enough that your shoulders press together.
Brushing shoulders when you walk side by side, the touch brief but deliberate.
Letting your hand rest against his without pulling away, without flinching, without any of the careful distance he maintains with everyone else.
One day, very quietly, he rests his forehead against yours. Just his forehead pressed to yours, his eyes closed, his breathing careful and measured like heâs trying to memorize this feeling.
âYouâre important to me too.â Whisper-soft. Barely audible. More meaningful than any grand confession because it costs him so much to say it, to admit it, to let himself be this vulnerable.
Dan Hengâs love is quiet in the way a deep ocean is quiet. Vast and profound and constant beneath the surface.
He remembers everything you say. Every offhand comment about things you like. Every mention of preferences or interests or small details you probably donât even remember sharing.
And then weeks later heâll bring you something. A book you mentioned wanting to read, a snack you said you missed, a small trinket that reminded him of a conversation you had.
He reads beside you in comfortable silence, your bodies close together but not demanding anything from each other. Just existing in the same space, breathing the same air, finding comfort in proximity.
And sometimes, when itâs late and the world is quiet and his defenses are as low as they ever get, heâll pull you close. Carefully. Deliberately. Like youâre something precious heâs still learning how to hold without breaking.
Heâll rest his chin on your head and just hold you.
âThank you,â Dan Heng whispers, and his voice is thick with emotion he doesnât quite know how to name.
âFor what?â
âFor staying. Forââ He stops and swallows hard. You can feel the movement against your hair. âFor loving me when I didnât know how to be loved.â
You hold him tighter, arms wrapping around him securely. âAlways.â
He lets out a shaky breath and holds you closer.
âIâm still learning,â he admits quietly. âHow to accept this. How to believe I deserve it.â
âYou do.â
âYou make it easier to believe that.â Dan Heng presses a kiss to your forehead. Soft and full of everything he struggles to say out loud. âThank you for being patient with me.â
You smile against his chest. âAlways,â you promise again.
And you mean it with every fiber of your being.
â ⌠â
A/N: Thanks for reading. :) I hope you enjoyed it. :)
But if you you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again.
Mistletoe rendezvous!
Featuring... The Astral Express crew!
Author's Note
Almost been six months since I've posted on here... âšď¸ I'm also a day late to Christmas. I'm sorry... Life beating me UP!!! đ No established relationships, but for anything to get going, something's implied. My goal on this account is to finish all my drafts... đ Christmas is my favourite season, so I hope you guys enjoy!
Trailblazer
They noticed the mistletoe. Of course they did.
If there's anything you must have come to learn about the infamous Galatic Baseballerâyou must know of their proclivity for mischief. Hell, by now, youâve probably already been a victim of some prank of theirs or been an accomplice in crime. Regardless of your history with them, it was only a matter of time until that scheming smile would be directed towards you. After all, theyâve always had an interest in you.
So why is it that you find yourself walking straight into their trap?
Maybe you wanted to or you were blindsided. Either way, they happen to stop the both of you right under the mistletoe and blink as they peer upwards.
âHuh. Thatâs weird. I didnât even notice.â
The Trailblazer looks to you with a curious expression. Then, they abruptly point to a spot behind you.
âOh, look. A bird!â
You raise an eyebrow at that. Had you already guessed that the Trailblazer is already plotting something due to that glint in their eyes? Or was it perchance the suspiciously casual delivery of their words?
Well, even if you do, you still wound up deciding to entertain their theatrics. Do you truly want to face the hilt of their pranks if you object? Or maybe youâre just unfathomably gullible. No matter the circumstance, you end up turning your head halfway to cast a glance to the void behind you; only to feel a gust of warm air against your cheek and something drag across it.
Oh.
Wait.
They just kissed you.
Youâre left frozen where you stand like a deer in headlights.
But what if it was you that initiated the kiss?
Maybe you could turn the tables on them. Surprise the Trailblazer before they even get the chance to kiss you first.
Letâs say you donât fall for their trick and donât decide to indulge them. Instead, you stand your ground, watching as they stare at you with a hint of sulkiness in their expression like you foiled both their plan and mood. But before they can even get back up on their feet to begin to conceive another planâyou take the chance.
Just as quickly as they might have kissed you. You lean in, your lips brushing against their cheek... Maybe even lips? Oh, that would depend on how audacious of a person you are.
Congratulations. You did it. Youâve managed to one-up the Trailblazer at their own game. The lionhearted Trailblazer weâve all come to love and know for their flippant, light-hearted personality... has been outdone in a game of wits.
Because deep down, itâs all a front. And if you were the one to initiateâperhaps you already knew that.
Rendering the Trailblazer speechless is a feat. But itâs also surprising how quickly they seem to bounce back from that, shooting you a look that seems both bashful and exasperated about how you managed to somehow pull the rug out from underneath them. They break into an amused grin, maybe even pulling you into a hug.
Despite how good they are at playing off thingsâwith how close they are to you; you can feel the rapid drum of their pulse against your chest.
But will you say anything?
No.
Despite not even having the chance to properly process what just happened, youâre suddenly being towed away by hand by the aforementioned, with them claiming they want to show you some new game in their room.
Well. That sure sounds eventful.
March 7th
March 7th. The crewâs darling and sweetheart. Sometimes.
She was the first fanatic on the Express about the holiday spirit. She gleefully recalls to the crew the stash of holiday decorations she found tucked away in boxes: notably voicing her fascination with the art of a certain romantic holiday custom.
While it wasn't unexpected for the most high-energy character in the cohort to be enthused about the holiday season, her captivation of the tradition is a definite result of her⌠avowed beliefs.
Out of all the unofficial designated roles upon the Express, March 7th proclaims herself to be the matchmaker, Cupidâand plenty other ridiculous names that riff on the same concept.
While everyone works together to put up the decorations, March 7th is their coordinator. After all, her exuberant spirit is exactly the kind of eye they need to brighten up the train. However, it was also definitely a tedious task on the crewâs end due to her constant last-minute direction changes and her arbitrary directions on specifically the mistletoe.
Despite her propensity for nitpicking, March's dedication to the job is impressive. It would be almost admirable if she wasn't so excited to see which of her fellow allies would end up under the mistletoe first⌠That somehow, in all her excitement, she somehow doesnât realise herself to be hovering directly beneath it.
And then, you appear.
March 7th doesn't plan for anomalies. She usually just acts before thinking. And because of that, she's accepted that things sometimes don't go her way and has learned not to make a major fuss. But with you? Under here? With her? March's jaw plummets to the ground.
"You... What? You're not supposed to be here! Well. At least not with me!"
It's not a difficult task to fluster March. But in this scenario, you've surprised her so bad that she's flailing around like a headless bird, pointing fingers at you as if you're some kind of intruder.
"This wasn't how it was supposed to go! Wait, you do know what this means, right?'
Suddenly, the beet-faced March 7th stills in place, raising a hand to her lips as she stares at you in shock. And then⌠The expression on her face turns almost⌠expectant.
Was⌠March batting her eyelashes at you? Her eyes still flicker around occasionally, not being able to hold your gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. But if you keep her waiting too long, she'll narrow her eyes at you and spin on her heel dramatically.
"Are you going to close your eyes? What the⌠Do you not know the tradition or something? Well. Iâm leaving then!â
You grab her by the shoulder before she can leave. But she only pauses for a second, turning her face back over to look at you.
"What? I thought you didn't-"
All it takes is the surge of your lips against hers to shut her up.
March's eyes turn into saucers. Her palms that were gripping at nothing raise to clutch at your arms. She can feel her heart rate speed up tenfold as her lungs tighten in her chest. And then, you pull away.
"I-I⌠You⌠What was that?!"
March didnât hate it. But is she going to admit that? No. Because March 7th, ever the fantasist, didn't expect to earn her first kiss to be like this.
It wasn't meant to be so⌠unexpected. You were meant to court her and sweep her off her feet! Offer some kind of romantic gesture first, give her some sign like a sweep of the hair or brushing knuckles together like they do in all those soap operas she watches! Butâyou justâŚ!
You can see the steam rising in plumes from March now. She looks embarrassed, because she is. Itâs not your fault. Itâs because of the realisation dawning upon her, where her romantic fantasies are shattered and instead replaced with something more⌠real.
Something she likes more.
Watching March 7th fall silent is a peculiar feeling. That cheery voice not falling from the girl's mouth, instead pressing her lips to create a seam where her mouth is.
"You're meant to take a girl out to dinner first, you know?!"
Dan Heng
Dan Heng isnât a fan of the holiday season.
Heâs celebrated plenty of different events: maybe even hundreds, if you count his past lives. But in this life? Heâs determined heâs not someone who can really get into the holiday spirit. But heâll celebrate it.
Dan Heng doesnât care about the 'wearing obnoxious glasses and headbandsâ or 'matching ugly sweaters' bit. Well, it can be a little humiliating at times. But Dan Heng has a lot more things he could be worrying about. So why would it matter?
Right. Despite his general introversion, he doesn't hate spending time with the rest of the crew. He just also has no intentions of participating in any unreasonable holiday traditions.
And by anything: he means anything he doesnât like the concept of.
Dan Heng avoids the mistletoe like the plague. He is an observant and analytical individual, and so he notices the smallest of changes in someone; like if theyâve gotten a trim or if their clothes are slightly askew...
He'll only voice his displeasure of the holiday and a certain custom when asked. Considering how excited March 7th seems about it, heâs figured itâs probably not the best idea to complain. Heâs already got to spend a couple all-nighters updating the data bank. Add March's bugging him about that, and heâll be practically asking for a migraine.
That doesnât mean there arenât other subtle signs either. Like how his eyes slightly narrow whenever he hears the mistletoe being brought up, or how he seems (if it thatâs even more possible) more quiet than usual and actively disengages with the crewâs usual banter.
Dan Heng tends to bury himself in work in the Archives just to give him another reason to not go out until the day finally arrives. The Astral Express are throwing a party to celebrate the holiday, and attendance is mandatory; a rule established by Himeko after heâs tried to worm his way out of celebrating too many times. March 7th drags him, talking animatedly about how she just canât wait to open presents and her speculations on who might end up under the mistletoe first. Dan Heng canât help but stiffen at that.
Dan Heng wants to show his gratitude. He works hard and wants to protect those he loves fiercely, and so it shouldnât come as a surprise that he doesnât put up a fight. He simply has a reluctant expression on his face the whole time and shoots a few petulant comments at any unprompted jab he gets.
And itâs when you appear that the entire world feels like a breath of fresh air. When he sticks by your side, he feels in his element. He decides he doesnât mind being a wallflower so long as you stay in his sight. Going anywhere else with a watchful during this holiday with his usual companions like March 7th on the prowl and the Trailblazer who likes to swipe at his food turning demented, he'd like to stick with you instead.
Itâs a long while before the party ends, and everyone begins to clear out. Perhaps coming to a party sleep-deprived wasnât the best idea. When he turns to you, he pauses to wave you goodbye, only to notice that strange look on your face. It takes him a few seconds, before he looks up where heâs standing.
Are you serious?
He can feel the dread blanket his body and the cold seep into his very bones. This was the exact situation he spent the entire week avoiding. So how, by some unlucky stroke of luck, was he now standing under here? Dan Heng looks miserable until he looks around.
âŚHuh. Everyoneâs gone, it seems.
With that thought in mind, heâs shaken by a sudden pillar of heat beginning to rattle his insides. Oh no. What was happening to him? The idea of a mistletoe was always uncomfortable to him. And yet⌠Just because itâs you underneath here with him-
ââŚUm. Iâm sorry. I think itâs best we donât.â
You stare at him. And then, you nod, acceptingly, before turning on your own heel and offering him a smile.
But then, you wish him happy holidays. And that you'll see him tomorrow.
And that?
That's the straw that breaks the camel's back. Because no matter how simple or mundane the interaction, that makes his heart ache.
"...Wait.â
You halt in your steps, your eyes meeting his once more.
âPlease. Give me just a moment.â
His fingers ball up by his sides, digging into his palms as he stares you down rigidly. Then, he takes a ginger step forward. And another. Before leaning in and pressing a kiss against your cheek.
Afterwardsâheâs a stick in the mud, staring at you blankly before he puts distance between the two of you.
ââŚThank you.â
But what if you manage to take a kiss from him instead? Well, heâll probably react just as stiffly. But this time, with his eyes wider and his face being tinged by a milky red.
ââŚYou⌠IâŚâ he says, trailing off before he can even finish his words, and shyly turning away. Thereâs a prominent furrow in his brow.
ââŚHow did you know?â
Welt
Being the oldest passenger on board means he has the entire crew looking up to himâperhaps even you. In spite of his age, his mind still remains quite young. And in those few juvenile parts of his brain, he finds a small comfort in the holidays.
While there are some traditions he questions the integrity of, the mistletoe is not something he pays particular mind to. After all, he's well aware of how popular the concept is among the younger members. He just doesnât necessarily want to find himself under there, especially with the younger passengers. But if he does?
Instead, what Welt does is give head pats. He has no intentions on kissing anyone except for other mature age individuals, and even then, itâd be only out of courtesy. If youâre younger than him and look like youâre expecting something, heâll give you a hair ruffle. But Welt draws a line in the sand with how far heâs willing to go.
It may come as a surprise how willing Welt is to engage in festivities. But the holiday and its customs resemble Christmas profoundly, which happens to remind him of his time on Earth. No matter how far away from home he is, he celebrates a quiet joy for himself and his family with another family altogether: the Astral Express.
While thereâs little to no chance of him initiating a kiss, if you kiss himâyou will manage to make him freeze for a few seconds. Heâll stare at you in shock, before looking away and sighing deeply. He may seem disappointed at the unexpected gesture, but you canât help but notice the faint rosy hues coating his cheeks now. Alas, itâs still unlikely that Welt will reciprocateâŚ
Unless you beg.
âThat is hardly an appropriate request.â he sighs.
Welt may always seem so grounding and steadfast in his presence, but small gestures of affection can truly be enough to unravel his heart. You plea with him until he finally lowers his walls enough to concede.
ââŚAlright. But only one kiss. Deal?â
And before you know it: Welt swoops in, pressing a quick, firm, sweet kiss against your cheek. The warmth of his lips seems to ghost over your skin, before he slowly pulls back. He watches your face carefully, looking for any discomfort in your expression that he could probably go on some kind of dad monologue about. But when he finds none?
âThatâs more than enough. If you need anything else, let me know. Otherwise, I'll be going.â
Welt taps his cane against the ground, before beginning to walk away from you. Depending on your age, heâll be internally sighing about how the youth give him high blood pressure. Otherwise, heâll be thinking about how warm his chest suddenly feels and try to push it down as he admires the holiday decorations he passes in the hallway.
...This is tolerable.
Himeko
It was Himeko in the first place who bought all of the Astral Express decor. A handful of it was cultivated after the arrival of Welt and his blond friend⌠But the holiday decorations and mistletoe? Yes. It was all her. She was the original trendsetterâeven if sheâll never admit it. After all, how could any blame be shifted onto her when a certain pink and blue youthful passenger usurped her position with her vibrant youth anyways?
You find yourself currently on a walk with Himeko. Itâs rare for her to be out and about, considering sheâs always either working on affairs around the Express or holed up in her room on projects. But right now? She wants to focus her attention on you. With a radioactive mug of coffee in hand and you trailing just behind, you donât seem to notice what locations the two of you end up circling.
âAh. Oh dear. It seems I have to brew more coffee⌠Iâm almost out. Will you come with me?â
Despite the fact you can feel yourself shiver at the thought of Himeko stomaching that abhorrent coffee, you oblige. And then, the two of you stride down the corridor, passing through a few cars as you exchange back-and-forth banter.
âAre you excited about the holidays?â
Itâs a simple question. For you, that may depend. Perhaps the answer is yes, or the answer is no. Either way, Himeko studies your facial expression carefully, scanning to see any hint of deceit veiled behind your speech. No matter what you say, she sighs, stopping in her steps to take another sip of her coffee and wipe off some imaginary dust off her shoulder...
Before looking up. Which makes your gaze naturally drift upwards too.
The two of you are under the mistletoe sprig.
âHm. Thatâs quite the coincidence.â Himekoâs amber eyes move back to you, a small smile on her lips. âWe only have to if youâd like to, dear.â she speaks, her tone honeyed.
Himeko is good at reading people. And when she says that: she means it. She doesnât want to pressure you into a situation where you would ever be uncomfortable, and so if she notices any glimpse of distress on your face, her gaze will soften. And her likelihood of initiating first is significantly lowered.
But if youâre just shy or nervous⌠She can tell. And suddenly, that maternal nature of hers comes out in an even more overwhelming way. Himeko reaches out her free hand to brush against your arm, touching you with such gentleness, and studying your face for any and all apprehension. But if she doesnât see any, buried under the layers of anxietyâŚ
Sheâll lean in. And then, plant a featherlight kiss against your cheek. The smile she gives you afterwards is telling. Himeko adores you. But what if you arenât so nervous? Or maybe you are, but just impulsive?
In that case, letâs say you manage to take her off guard. And you kiss her first. No matter where you kiss, youâll witness the Himeko being stunned for a breath or two. And then the tender look in her eyes as she melts into the lingering touch of you.
ââŚMy. Someoneâs feeling bold today.â
Sheâs a graceful, daring woman. But she is also modest. If you attempt to kiss her on the lips, sheâll raise a finger to press against your own before she smiles and shakes her head. Himeko tuts at you, before sending a wink in your direction and announcing a sudden duty she must now attend to.
Despite her abrupt departure as she leaves you standing there in the hallway as a heated mess; Himeko is far from cruel. The next time you see her, even if itâs in passing, sheâll invite you to come over to visit her room later. She has some work things sheâd like to show you.
Of course, only if youâd like.
Sunday
Sunday is quite aware of the holiday season approaching. Out of all of the holidays, this time of the year always led to an increase in revenue thanks to its highly commercial nature in Penacony. He is more than acquainted with its customs, albeit heâs rarely celebrated it in the sense of how the Astral Express do.
As life of the Oak Head, Sunday was used to attending galas and balls held in the name of festivity: the life and blood of Penacony. The grandiose celebrations held every day in Penacony was something he had become far too acclimatised toâand so when his fall from grace led to him being confined in the walls of an intergalactic train, he wasnât sure how to even celebrate it, really.
It starts with stringing up holly along the walls of the Astral Express. Heâs also allowed to organise all of the smaller decorations from size to colour, which he does with grace.
And then, thereâs the mistletoe.
Sunday is alike Dan Heng in a sense. Theyâre both sharp, vigilant individuals. They can pick up on subtle variations in their settings and people. And you two happen to be in charge of ensuring all of the decor is in order before the party starts. You two waltz down the halls, your eyes briefly being directed towards your surroundings before you turn to another object demanding your attention.
The Trailblazer, Dan Heng, and March 7th walk past the two of you as you adjust things. But itâs March 7th who stops in her steps and lets out an unruly gasp that makes the others shoot her a glance. Sheâs staring right at you.
âOhâdo you guys see that?!â
Sunday pauses at that from where he stands, currently adjusting a wreath on the wall. Before then, he looks over at the trio currently dragging a squirming March away, and thenâŚ
He notices it.
How- when- did that get there? Wasnât the mistletoe in the entrance to the Party Car last time he checked?
Sunday, who seems to account for everything, forgets that sometimes things arenât in his control. And despite how good he is at hiding his emotions, his wings flutter involuntarily.
âŚ
And then he feels it. Your gaze on him. His posture is already immaculate, but he somehow feels the need to straighten up even more, his halo suddenly feeling like it's weighing heavily against him.
ââŚAh. You have my sincerest apologies. I appear to have made a slight in my judgement, and now we have found ourselves in this predicament.â he speaks slowly, selecting every word cautiously while his left wing twitches.
But the thing is... Itâs you.
Sunday knows you. And⌠in his usual ruminative nature, heâs come to the conclusion that he feels compelled by your company. Drawn in, that he never holds any qualms when it comes to you.
...But at the same time, he's also a gentleman. And someone currently trying to bid away his past self and habits. Just as he musters up the courage to speak again, you suddenly blurt out something.
"Can I kiss you?"
Sunday's wings flutter at that and raise. His eyes widen, and for a couple beats, you manage to leave him tongue-tied as his gloved palms freeze at his sides. His throat works, and then the words spill from his mouth.
"...Of... of course."
Sunday immediately looks around, just to make sure nobody's looking. Once he confirms the vicinity is clear, it's only a matter of time before his eyes snap to yours again. And then, the slight wobble of a lip.
But let's say you kiss him first. Let's say you manage to startle Sunday, his wings flaring outwards and flapping as you pull away from him. Where did you kiss him? On the lips? On the corner of his mouth, or cheeks?
Depending on the answer, will depend on how rich his reaction will be. Either way, despite his stoic expression, his face is turning more and more red by the second. His wings fold inwards to shield his face from your view, and he has to look away for the sake of protecting his own dignity. You've managed to make Sunday stumble over his words.
"...T-that was..."
Your innocent gesture will be what makes him stay up all night again. Maybe for several nights. But at least you'll be the only thing on his mind during the party.
But what if he kisses you first? Sunday is a gentleman after all, and that's something he prides himself on. It was his intention to kiss you first anyways, but you just had to leave him breathless with your usual teasing. Or maybe it wasn't a tease. Maybe... you meant it.
Ah! Don't make him overthink it. He's already going to be internally analysing this interaction for the rest of the week.
"I understand if you would not like to indulge in such... frivolous traditions. However, if you would like to... participate in this ritual with me." Sunday says, his eyelashes fluttering to meet yours hopefully.
And you do. The way you're looking at him, with no words coming out of your mouth. But your eyes speak for everything... You nod.
He didn't expect it.
But he was hoping for it.
"Alright. Then... Please close your eyes for me."
So, you do. His heart is definitely racing by this point, but he has to put on a brave face. Sunday has to bid his habits of the past gone and take the chance. He leans in slowly until his breath ghosts against your face.
Then, you feel it. His lips planting against your cheek for a few moments: a warm, steady pressure. And... the tickle of feathers brushing against your cheek as his wings stretch out to obscure the sides of both your faces. Before then, eventually, he pulls back.
"I... hope that was up to your standards." he murmurs, his voice lower than before, as his wings curl up to his face again. Sunday looks... shy, once again.
Oh. This was more than enough.
"Perhaps... you could consider it a gift from me. A holiday present, of sorts. Or would you rather I'd compose a melody for you instead?"
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Hello! I read your Dan heng HC :) Can I request that for AE Sunday? How heâd fall and what heâs looking for in a partner? Thank you!
How Sunday Falls In Love and What He Desires (Sunday x Reader Headcanons)
A/N: Hello. :) Thank you for sending it in. I was kinda hoping someone would. Sunday is complicated, isnât he? Heâs one of those characters who feels like a paradox made human: brilliant and broken, idealistic and aching, poetic and so deeply flawed. I have complicated feelings about Sunday.
He is far from perfect, but his flaws and complexity make him so fascinating to me. Iâve been thinking about him a lot, especially during the Penacony arc. About what it would even mean for someone like him to fall in love. Someone whoâs lived in absolutes for so long. Someone whoâs learning, painfully and beautifully, to be human again.
These headcanons explore what happens after: when Sunday joins the Astral Express, when he has to learn that love isnât management and care isnât control. When he discovers that the paradise heâd been chasing wasnât perfection. It was presence. Not a world without pain, but a person who chooses to stay anyway.
Sunday is a complex character and doesnât fall easily, so those are long. You have been warned. :) It took me a while to get these headcanons right, I hope I did him justice.
I also have headcanons about Sunday and how the Astral Express crew helps him with his new lifeâŚjust saying. But for now. Sunday love headcanons under the cut.
Word count: ~ 5400 words
How Sunday Falls in Love:
Through recognition, not chance.
Sunday doesnât âmeetâ someone. He recognizes them. That instant awareness that this person doesnât just exist beside him, but within the same rhythm. Love begins with awareness, not impulse.
He notices your voice first. The way you speak of things without cynicism, the compassion that doesnât need to prove itself. He sees kindness as strength and it disarms him completely.
For someone who spent so long orchestrating paradise, genuine goodness that asks for nothing in return is revelatory. Youâre not performing virtue. Youâre just being kind. Naturally. Consistently. Like itâs the easiest thing in the world.
And he canât look away.
Through curiosity that becomes attachment.
At first, he frames it as study. Understanding human emotion through observation, learning what he missed while trapped in his ideology of perfection.
But his questions become personal, his fascination sincere.
âWhy do you smile at strangers?â
âWhy do you forgive people so easily?â
âHow do you choose hope when the world offers so many reasons for despair?â
He means them as philosophy, but they sound like longing.
Somewhere between discussion and debate, somewhere between analyzing your worldview and living inside it, he realizes heâs been collecting your every word as though they were gospel. Your perspective becomes the lens through which he reexamines everything he thought he knew.
Youâre not trying to teach him. But heâs learning anyway. Learning that maybe, impossibly, thereâs wisdom in acceptance instead of control. In trust instead of management. In letting things be imperfect and loving them anyway.
Through humility.
Falling in love humbles him in ways the fall from grace never did.
Losing Penacony, being wrong about paradise, joining the Express. That was one thing. But this? Love? This is something deeper and more terrifying. Because paradise was an idea he could theorize about, debate, refine.
But you? Youâre real. Complicated. Impossible to perfect. And he doesnât want to perfect you. He wants to know you.
That realization breaks something fundamental in him. The man who tried to orchestrate eternal happiness now finds himself utterly unprepared for one personâs genuine, messy, imperfect affection.
You challenge him. You tell him no. You remind him that consent and choice are what make love sacred. Not safety, not certainty, not the elimination of risk. Love exists because of choice, not despite it.
Heâs drawn to that. To someone who isnât afraid to look him in the eye and say, âYou donât need to save me. You donât get to decide whatâs best for me. Iâm choosing this. Iâm choosing you.â
He needs that kind of grounding truth more than heâll ever admit.
Through vulnerability disguised as devotion.
When Sunday loves, he loves intensely. Too much, even. He gives endlessly, often to his own detriment, because thatâs how heâs learned to exist. By offering, by providing, by making himself useful enough to justify his presence.
It takes time for him to understand that love isnât only about giving. That itâs also about being received. About trusting someone else to care for him the way he desperately wants to care for them.
The first time you insist on taking care of himâbringing him tea when heâs exhausted, pulling him away from overthinking, holding him when heâs spiralingâhe wonât know what to do with it. His instinct is to deflect, to insist heâs fine, to redirect attention back to you.
But when you persist, gentle and firm, when you say let me do this for you, something in him cracks open.
And heâll realize: this is what he was missing in his philosophy of paradise. Not the elimination of suffering, but the presence of someone whoâll sit with you in it. Not control, but connection. Not management, but mutual care.
Through the mundane.
Heâll resist it at first. The quiet domesticity, the simplicity of shared mornings and unspoken routines. Paradise was supposed to be grand, orchestrated, flawless. Not this: you burning toast while half-asleep, him reorganizing the pantry by category (and then by color, and then by frequency of use until you gently tell him to stop).
But when he catches himself smiling because you handed him tea without asking how he takes it (you remembered), or because you hummed while sorting books (off-key, unconscious, human), or something inside him breaks in the gentlest way.
The first time you fall asleep on his shoulder during a movie, drool and all, heâll sit frozen. Terrified to move, terrified to ruin it. This moment, imperfect and unplanned, feels more sacred than any paradise he designed.
Heâll trace the line of your jaw with his eyes, memorize the weight of your head against him, catalog the sound of your breathing. And heâll think: This. This is what it was supposed to feel like.
Not perfect. Just peaceful.
Not a prison of eternal happiness, but the choice to build small joys, day by day, with someone who sees him and stays anyway.
Through the terrifying realization that heâs falling without a plan.
Sunday always has a plan. Contingencies, calculations, carefully orchestrated outcomes.
But love? Love doesnât follow sheet music. It improvises. And that terrifies him.
The moment he realizes heâs in loveâtruly, irreversibly in loveâit wonât be romantic. Itâll be panic. Because this wasnât part of the plan. He wasnât supposed to need someone like this. He wasnât supposed to give someone this much power to hurt him.
And yet.
And yet when you smile at him across the Express common area, when you defend him to others who still see him as the villain, when you choose him again and again without him having to orchestrate that choice?
Heâll realize some things are worth the risk of not having control over the outcome.
Some things are worth falling for.
What Draws Sunday In
Emotionally:
- Steadiness. Someone who stays calm when his mind spirals. Who listens without judgment, who steadies without silencing. He spends so much time in his own head, tangled in philosophies and what-ifs and the crushing weight of his mistakes. Youâre the calm in that storm. Not because you have all the answers, but because you donât need them. Youâre just there. Present. Real.
- Sincerity. Heâs surrounded by people who perform devotion, who say what they think he wants to hear, who treat him either as a villain to be feared or a project to be fixed. Honesty is the rarest gift. When you tell him truthâeven uncomfortable truth, even âI think youâre wrong about thisââit feels like oxygen after years of suffocating in platitudes.
- Compassion that isnât naive. He admires strength through kindness. People who do good because they choose to, not because itâs easy. You understand that the world is complicated, that people are flawed, that suffering exists. And you choose kindness anyway. Not as denial of darkness, but as defiance of it. That philosophyâthat active, deliberate choice to careâis something he desperately needs to learn.
- Curiosity with boundaries. Someone who can meet him intellectually without turning his thoughts into a battlefield. Youâll debate philosophy with him, challenge his assumptions, offer perspectives he hasnât considered. But you know when to stop. When to say âletâs table this for nowâ because the conversation is becoming circular or painful. He needs someone who can engage his mind without feeding his tendency to spiral.
- The mundane and human. Someone who laughs at themselves, spills tea, forgets things, and reminds him that perfection isnât the point. Every time youâre clumsy or forgetful or imperfect, itâs evidence against his old worldview. Youâre not suffering because youâre flawed. Youâre living because youâre human. And slowly, heâs learning the difference.
- Someone unafraid of his intensity. Sunday feels deeply and expresses it fully, though not always in words. His love is overwhelming, all-consuming, sometimes too much. He needs someone who doesnât flinch when the light burns too bright. Who can say âI see how much you care, and Iâm not afraid of itâ while also setting boundaries when that intensity tips into unhealthy territory.
- Someone who chooses freely. This is crucial. After Penacony, after learning the hard way that forced happiness isnât real happiness, heâs hyper-aware of choice. He needs someone who chooses himâexplicitly, repeatedly, freely. Not because theyâre trapped or obligated or manipulated. But because they want to. Every time you choose to stay, every time you choose him, it rewrites a little bit of his broken philosophy.
Intellectually:
- People who challenge his assumptions without dismissing his intelligence. Sunday is brilliant. Strategic, philosophical, well-read. He needs someone who respects that intelligence while questioning the conclusions heâs drawn from it. âI understand why you thought that, but have you consideredâŚâ is far more effective than âyouâre wrong.â You take his ideas seriously enough to dissect them, and thatâs more valuable than agreement.
- Independent thinkers. Heâs spent too long trying to make decisions for others âfor their own good.â He needs someone with strong opinions, firm values, clear boundaries. Someone who says âI appreciate your input, but Iâm choosing this pathâ and means it. Your autonomy is attractive to him in ways heâs still unpacking. Because itâs proof that love and independence can coexist.
- Someone who finds meaning in questions, not just answers. Sundayâs philosophy failed partly because he thought he had all the answers. Heâs drawn to people who can sit with uncertainty, who can ask âwhat if?â without needing immediate resolution. Who understand that wisdom is often found in the questions we ask, not the conclusions we reach.
- Synthesizers, not zealots. He needs someone who can hold multiple truths at once. âYour intentions were good AND you caused harm.â âYou were trying to help AND you were wrong.â âYouâre capable of redemption AND you need to do the work.â That kind of nuanced thinking, the ability to reject false binaries, is exactly what he needs to hear.
Physically:
- Expressive faces. You donât hide what youâre feeling, and itâs mesmerizing to him. When youâre angry, it shows. When youâre delighted, it shows. When youâre looking at him with affection you havenât voiced yet, it shows. He spent so long reading people to manipulate outcomes; with you, thereâs no translation needed. Youâre an open book, and he canât stop reading.
- Genuine smiles that reach the eyes. He can spot a performance from a mile away. Heâs lived inside one for years. When your smile is real, unguarded, reaching your eyes and crinkling the corners, it stops him cold. Thatâs not calculated. Thatâs joy, offered freely. He wants to earn that smile. Wants to be the reason for it. Wants to collect them like rare treasures.
- Hands that create. Whether youâre cooking, writing, building, drawing, playing an instrumentâheâs drawn to hands that make things. His own hands orchestrated a prison disguised as paradise. Yours create without controlling, shape without constraining. He watches your hands work and wonders what it would feel like to create something together. Something real. Something imperfect and beautiful.
- The way you inhabit space. How you move through the Express. Comfortable, casual, belonging. Youâre not performing. Youâre not trying to take up less space or more space. You just exist. And after years of carefully curating his every movement, every expression, every word, that naturalness is magnetic.
- Eyes that really see him. Not Sunday the villain. Not Sunday the leader. Not even Sunday the redeemed. Just Sunday. The man learning to be human, stumbling through domesticity, trying to figure out who he is outside of his failed ideology. When you look at him and your eyes say I see you, the real you, and youâre enough? Thatâs more powerful than any philosophy heâs ever studied.
- Presence that invites closeness. Thereâs something about the way you exist in proximity that makes him want to be near you. Not crowding, not demanding, just welcoming. Like thereâs always space beside you that feels like it might be for him. And slowly, carefully, heâll test that. Standing a little closer, sitting next to you, existing in your orbit until proximity becomes intimacy.
- The small, human details he memorizes. The exact shade of your eyes in different lighting. How your hair looks when youâve just woken up. The way you lick your lips when youâre lost in thought. The slope of your neck when youâre reading. The sound of your real laugh. Not the polite one, the one that escapes when something genuinely delights you. He collects these details obsessively, proof that youâre real and here and somehow, inexplicably, choosing to stay.
What Sunday Is Afraid Of
That his love will become control.
This is the nightmare that wakes him at 3am, heart racing, tangled in sheets that suddenly feel like restraints.
That heâll slip back into old patterns. Arranging your life for âyour own good,â making decisions to âprotectâ you, removing your choices in the name of caring for you. Building a beautiful cage and calling it love.
Heâs terrified that his intensity, his need to care, will cross the line into suffocation. That his âI just want you to be happyâ will become âI know better than you what happiness is.â That heâll orchestrate your life the way he tried to orchestrate Penacony, with the same terrible results.
Every time he catches himself wanting to solve a problem you didnât ask him to solve, wanting to smooth obstacles you chose to face, wanting to orchestrate outcomes for your happinessâhe has to stop. Breathe. Remember:
Love is not control. Care is not management. Trust is not insurance against loss.
But the fear lingers. What if he canât help it? What if control is so deeply embedded in how he loves that heâll ruin this like he ruined everything else?
That heâs fundamentally broken in ways that canât be fixed.
He tried to trap an entire planet in a dream. He thought he was saving them. He was convinced his way was the only way, that his vision of paradise was objectively correct, that he loved them enough to make their choices for them.
He was wrong. Catastrophically, irreversibly wrong.
That kind of wrong doesnât just wash away. Itâs not a mistake you apologize for and move past. Itâs evidence of something broken in his fundamental approach to love, to care, to existence.
So when you love him, part of him is waiting for you to realize what he is: someone who got lost in his own righteousness, who hurt people while thinking he was helping, who confused power with compassion. Someone whose love, historically, has been dangerous.
The question that haunts him: If I could be that wrong about paradise, how do I trust myself to be right about this? About us? About anything?
That his intensity will drive you away.
Sunday doesnât do anything halfway. When he loves, itâs consuming. Every thought colored by you, every action oriented around you, every plan including you.
Itâs not obsession (heâs learning the difference, slowly, painfully). Itâs not possession. But itâs a lot.
He feels everything deeply: joy, grief, love, fear. His emotions arenât background noise. Theyâre symphonies, overwhelming and inescapable. And he knows, intellectually, that not everyone experiences feelings at that volume.
Heâs watching for the moment when youâll flinch away from the weight of it all. When his devotion becomes burden instead of blessing. When youâll look at him and think this is too much, he is too much, I canât carry this intensity.
Because if that happensâif you leave because heâs too muchâheâs not sure heâll recover. Itâll just confirm what he suspects: that thereâs something excessive and unlovable in the core of him, something that ruins everything it touches.
That freedom without him means freedom from him.
The Astral Express taught him that people need choice, need autonomy, need the ability to leave. He understands that now. Accepts it, even. Heâd never trap you the way he tried to trap Penacony.
But understanding doesnât make it less terrifying.
Every time you choose to stay, heâs braced for the day youâll choose to leave. Because if love is choice, then loss is too. And heâs not sure heâll survive losing someone again. Especially someone he chose to let all the way in.
The irony isnât lost on him: he spent years trying to create a world where loss was impossible, where everyone was safe and happy and protected forever. Now heâs learning to live in a world where loss is always possible, where safety is an illusion, where love requires risking devastation.
And he has to choose it anyway. Has to wake up every day and choose to love you knowing you could leave. Thatâs the price of real love, real connection, real humanity.
Some days, heâs not sure heâs strong enough to pay it.
That heâll never be enough without perfection.
For so long, his value was tied to his vision, his plan, his ability to create something flawless. He was more. The architect of paradise. The one who would save everyone.
Now that vision is shattered. The paradise was a prison. The salvation was damnation. Everything he built his identity on was wrong.
Whatâs left?
Just Sunday. Flawed, learning, stumbling through domesticity and feelings he doesnât have a doctrine for. A man who burns toast and reorganizes shelves compulsively and spirals into philosophy at 2am and still doesnât quite understand how to accept care without feeling like heâs failing.
And heâs terrified that Sundayâjust Sunday, without grand purpose or perfect paradiseâisnât worth staying for. That youâll realize heâs ordinary, broken, incapable of being the person you deserve. That without the performance of perfection, thereâs nothing valuable underneath.
That heâs putting his trauma on you.
His need for order. His spiraling thoughts. His inability to rest. His tendency toward self-sacrifice. His philosophical tangents. His control issues. His intensity.
He knows these are his problems. Penacony carved them into him, or maybe they were always there, amplified by grief and ideology until they consumed him.
And heâs terrified that loving him means carrying his damage. That youâll become his therapist, his manager, his handler instead of his partner. That his healing will become your burden. That heâll drain you dry trying to get himself right.
He doesnât want to be a project. He doesnât want to be someone who needs fixing. He wants to be someone whoâs worth loving, not someone who needs to be tolerated out of compassion.
But what if heâs not there yet? What if he never gets there?
That this is another beautiful dream that ends in catastrophe.
Penacony was beautiful too. His vision was perfect. No suffering, no pain, eternal happiness. Everyone safe. Everyone content. Paradise.
And it was wrong. It hurt people. It was a prison disguised as salvation.
So when thisâyou, the Express, this new lifeâfeels beautiful, feels right, feels like maybe heâs found something real⌠part of him is waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the moment when âbeautifulâ reveals itself as âdelusionalâ again.
What if heâs wrong about this too? What if his judgment is so fundamentally flawed that even now, even after everything, heâs building another beautiful mistake?
What if loving you is just another version of Penacony? Well-intentioned, intensely felt, and ultimately destructive?
That he doesnât deserve this.
Simple. Brutal. True. He doesnât deserve softness. He doesnât deserve patience. He doesnât deserve someone looking at him with affection instead of fear or disgust. He doesnât deserve mornings where someone makes him tea, evenings where someone wants his company, nights where someone trusts him enough to sleep beside him.
He tried to steal everyoneâs freedom. He hurt his sister. He became exactly the kind of person he claimed to protect people from.
And now youâre here, offering him love like itâs simple, like heâs earned it, like his past doesnât disqualify him from present happiness.
It doesnât make sense. And part of him keeps waiting for the universe to correct this mistake. For you to wake up and realize what youâre doing, who youâre loving, what heâs done.
For reality to catch up with him.
What Sunday Needs
He needs patience, not perfection.
Sunday has spent his entire life trying to make the world flawless, and love will tempt him to do the same with himselfâto be the perfect partner, the perfect man, never mess up, never be too much or too little.
What he needs instead is someone who stays when the mask cracks. Who says, you donât need to be divine to be loved. Who lets him fail gently and learn that love doesnât vanish when things go wrong.
He needs proof that imperfection isnât dealbreaking. That you can be frustrated with him and still love him. That he can have a bad day, make a mistake, be too intense or too distant, and youâll still be there tomorrow.
Not because youâre endlessly tolerant. But because you understand heâs learning, and youâre willing to learn alongside him.
He needs grounding through presence.
His mind never stops. Philosophies, hypotheticals, self-doubt, endless thoughts orbiting like stars with no center of gravity.
What steadies him is someone who brings him back to the tangible: the warmth of a hand in his, the scent of tea steaming between you, the sound of laughter in a quiet room. Physical reminders that the world isnât made of ideals Itâs made of moments.
When heâs spiraling, he doesnât need philosophy. He needs your hand on his shoulder. Your voice saying his name. The weight of reality gently pulling him back down.
Youâre not dismissing his thoughts. Youâre reminding him he has a body, a present, a person beside him who exists outside his internal debates.
He needs honesty with compassion.
Sunday respects truthâhe built an entire philosophy on what he believed was objective reality. But harsh words wound him deeply, cutting through to the fear that heâs fundamentally wrong about everything.
The right partner doesnât flatter or indulge him, but they speak with kindnessâcalling him out when he drifts too far into his need for control, but doing it gently. âI know youâre trying to help, but I need to handle this myselfâ instead of âstop trying to control everything.â
He needs someone who tells him ânoâ with tenderness, not scorn. Someone who can say âthatâs your trauma talking, not realityâ without making him feel stupid for struggling. Someone who loves him enough to keep him honest, but kind enough to remember heâs already drowning in self-criticism.
He needs someone who teaches him to receive.
Giving is easy for Sunday. He thrives on offering comfort, stability, solutions. Receiving, though, makes him ache with vulnerability.
Heâll deflect praise. Downplay exhaustion. Insist heâs fine when he isnât. Push through pain because heâs not supposed to need help. Heâs supposed to be the one helping.
The person who loves him will need to insist, gently but firmly: Let me take care of you now. Let me make you tea. Let me listen while you spiral. Let me hold you. Let me stay.
When he finally allows itâand itâll take time, repeated offers, proof that you want to care for himâheâll tremble with relief. Like heâs been holding his breath for years and finally remembering how to exhale.
Teaching him to receive is teaching him he has value beyond what he provides. That heâs worth caring for just because he is, not because of what he does.
He needs laughter.
Sunday takes himselfâand the worldâfar too seriously. His redemption arc depends on joy. On small, unguarded moments: dancing badly in the hallway, tripping over his own feet, laughing until tears replace the centuries of guilt.
Someone who can tease him without cruelty, who can make him laugh at himself. Thatâs someone who saves him. Not from his past, but from the prison of never being allowed to be ridiculous, messy, human.
He needs permission to be silly. To make mistakes that donât have world-ending consequences. To play, for the first time in maybe forever.
When he laughsâreally laughs, unguarded and surprisedâitâs evidence of healing. Proof that joy can exist without it being orchestrated, that happiness can be spontaneous instead of controlled, that heâs allowed to just feel good without analyzing it to death.
He needs to be seen as a man, not a savior.
More than anything, Sunday needs to be loved for who he is beneath the philosophy and the perfectionism and the weight of Penacony.
Not as the leader who tried to create paradise. Not as a project to fix or a villain to redeem.
Just as Sunday. Flawed, yearning, learning what it means to live again.
The right person wonât worship him (heâs had enough of that). Wonât fear him (heâs tired of that too). Wonât try to save him (he has to do that himself).
Theyâll just hold his hand and say: Youâre enough. Stay here, with me. You donât have to be perfect. You donât have to save anyone. Youâre allowed to just be.
And slowly, painfully, beautifullyâŚheâll start to believe them.
How Sunday Loves (When He Finally Allows Himself To)
He loves through control turned devotion.
For most of his life, control was his language of love. If everything was perfect, no one would suffer. When he falls in love, that same precision doesnât disappear. It transforms.
He still notices everything: your smallest habits, the subtle shifts in your tone, the way you frown when youâre thinking. But instead of trying to orchestrate outcomes, he just⌠sees you. Pays attention. Remembers.
Love becomes his new philosophy. Not about building paradise, but preserving presence. Honoring who you are instead of shaping who you should be.
When you mention offhand that you like a particular tea, heâll remember three months later. When youâre stressed, heâll notice before you say anything. Not to fix it without asking, but to quietly ask âwhat do you need right now?â
The control hasnât gone away. Itâs just been redirected from managing your choices to honoring them.
He loves through acts of quiet perfection.
Heâll straighten your notes on the desk. Repair a broken clasp before you notice. Align your books by height because he thinks it looks peaceful. Mark your page when you fall asleep reading. Adjust the temperature in your room to exactly what you prefer.
His touch on your world is almost invisible, but itâs everywhere. Every gesture says: You are the one thing in this imperfect universe I want to keep steady.
Heâs not controlling your space. Heâs curating small moments of ease, little gifts of âyou donât have to think about this because I already did.â
Sometimes youâll catch him at itâreorganizing your shelf or folding your jacketâand heâll freeze like heâs been caught doing something wrong.
âIâm sorry, I didnât mean toââ
âItâs okay. Thank you.â
And heâll relax slightly, learning that service can be love instead of control, as long as itâs offered without expectation.
He loves through sound.
When he speaks your name, itâs deliberate, measured, almost melodic. Like heâs tasting the syllables, turning them into music.
He hums when he works. Low and thoughtful, fragments of melodies that sound like peace feels. Sometimes heâll play for you: soft, unspoken emotion translated into harmony. You can tell how heâs feeling by the tempo, the pauses, the way his fingers linger on a final note.
To him, music isnât performance. Itâs confession. When words are too complicated or too vulnerable, sound becomes his language.
Heâll compose pieces inspired by you, though heâll never say thatâs what they are. But youâll recognize yourself in the melody: the gentle rise and fall like your laughter, the complex harmonies like the way your mind works, the resolution that feels like coming home.
Music is how he processes emotion. How he tells you things he canât say out loud. How he loves you when loving feels too big for language.
He loves through worship thatâs almost overwhelming.
Sunday doesnât love halfway. When he finally gives in, he adores.
Every touch is intentional, every kiss slow, deliberate, reverent. He traces your skin like scripture, memorizes your body like doctrine, approaches intimacy like prayer.
Itâs not about possession. Itâs about presence. About being so completely focused on you that the rest of the universe falls away. About treating you like youâre the only thing that matters because, in that moment, you are.
Heâll memorize what makes you sigh, what makes you laugh, what makes you melt. Heâll learn your body the way he learned philosophy. Thoroughly, obsessively, with desperate attention to detail.
Physical intimacy is where his intensity becomes undeniable. Where the careful control drops and you see how much he feels, how consuming his love actually is.
Heâll whisper against your skin in a language thatâs half philosophy, half devotion. Tell you youâre beautiful like heâs stating empirical facts. Touch you like youâre the only perfect thing heâs ever encountered.
To him, you are proof that beauty can exist without being orchestrated. That something can be flawed and still be divine. That paradise was never a place. It was a person who chose to stay.
He loves through grounding.
As much as he gives, he also needs. Though it takes him time to admit it.
Heâll seek your presence when heâs spiraling. Rest his forehead against yours and just breathe until the thoughts quiet. Hold your hand like itâs the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.
You become his anchor. Not because youâre fixing him, but because youâre real. Solid. Present. Proof that the world exists outside his head.
When you remind him he doesnât have to orchestrate every heartbeat, when you tell him heâs allowed to simply be, heâll melt into it. Exhale like heâs been holding his breath for years.
In those moments, youâll feel the shift. The philosopher becoming human again, the leader becoming just a man whoâs tired and grateful youâre still here.
He loves through learning.
You teach him to laugh again. To accept chaos without fear. To find joy in imperfection.
Heâll stumble through domestic moments. Making tea (too precise about temperature), helping with chores (organizing everything), trying to understand why you hum to yourself while doing nothing at all (doesnât everything require purpose?).
And slowly, through patient repetition and gentle correction, he learns.
He learns that not everything needs to be perfect to be good. That mistakes arenât catastrophes. That you can burn dinner and laugh about it instead of spiraling into self-criticism. That love isnât about being flawless. Itâs about being present.
When he finally gets itâwhen he makes you deliberately imperfect tea just to prove he can tolerate it, when he laughs at his own compulsive organization, when he hums tunelessly just because heâs happyâyouâll know heâs healing.
Heâll look at you with quiet wonder, realizing that thisâimperfection, simplicity, warmthâis the paradise heâd been chasing all along.
He loves through time.
Sunday doesnât rush. His affection unfolds like a symphony: deliberate, layered, patient.
Heâs not going anywhere. Once he commits, itâs for life. You become his constant in a world thatâs always shifting. The one imperfection he never wants to correct, the one variable he never wants to control, the one choice heâll make over and over again every single day.
Youâre his proof that freedom and love arenât contradictory. That you can choose someone without trapping them. That devotion doesnât require control.
And every day you choose him back, every day you stay, every day you remind him heâs enough. Youâre rewriting his entire philosophy.
Not through argument. Through presence.
Not through perfection. Through love.
____
A/N: Writing this made think about many things. About how difficult it would be for Sunday to truly let go of his past, but how he would try anyway. I think because Sunday embodies the kind of redemption arc that needs a lot of work: itâs not the grand victory, but the quiet transformation. The shift from wanting to save the world to simply wanting to share it. And wellâŚsince his arc isnât finished yet.
I wanted to explore how Sundayâs philosophy could evolve into something tender. This man has spent his whole life giving love in abstract, idealized ways. He deserves a love thatâs real. Someone who sees the flaws, the contradictions, the weariness and stays. I hope it worked out. :)
Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated. :)
Thinking about where the Amphoreus cast would take you on a date in a modern universe.
Phainon takes you out to the movies. Don't worry about buying expensive cinema foodâhe's taking you out to the food court to get snacks first. What? You're worried about getting caught? Don't worry. He's already invented several different odd ways to sneak food in, but they work. Now your next problem is how much he might talk during movies.
Mydei takes you out to a diner. Nutrition is important after all, and he wants to take you somewhere where he knows you're eating well. Not to mention; this particular diner has an all-you-can-eat buffet. Thatâs absolutely not the reason why he chose this place, of course. Dates with Mydei are more on the casual side, even if he is a romantic at heartâbut maybe he'll let you feed him if you ask.
Anaxa takes you out to a cafĂŠ. Surprising? It might be. But he's not just taking you to just any cafe. It's his favourite cafĂŠâone of his favourite places to be other than alone. The cafĂŠ is quaint and cosy, noticeably quiet with faint music playing in the backdrop, and they serve delicious coffee. You see why he likes it so much, and you hope this place continues to stay a hidden gem between the two of you.
Aglaea takes you out to dinner. Yes, I say dinner, because this woman will take you out to the most luxurious fine-dining establishment money can buy. Aglaea always goes all out on dates because she's a busy woman. If she's pursuing you, you best believe she sees you as worth investing in. If she goes on more dates with you, things might get more casual, and she'll instead have dinner with you at her mansion. No biggie.
Hyacine takes you out on a picnic. She brings an assortment of foods, sometimes even confectioneries baked by herself or brought because she knew you liked them. You two sit together on your little picnic blanket over some grassland, and after digesting, end up lying side-by-side to watch the sky above. I hope you're imaginative, because she'll compare the clouds to some wild things.
Castorice takes you out to the library. While it may not seem as exciting as the rest, quiet intimacy can go a long way. You two sit side-by-side at a desk, reading the same book, shoulders bumping against each other on occasion. It's comfortable. Vulnerable, and her whisper of a voice breaks the silence sometimes to share some insight on the book you're reading together. But at some point? You get too distracted by her side profile.
Cipher takes you to all her favourite spots. She knows the city like the back of her hand and happens to know where the best places are to get away from society. From rooftops to abandoned buildings, she even shows you her secret little base she flees to whenever she has to lay low for a while. As your legs dangle together precariously off the edge of a building, she wraps her tail around your arm, leaning her head against your shoulder.
SYNOPSIS: What awaits you in the Dreamscape is your quiet place of rest: a patisserie dyed moon-blue in the Moment of Midnight. A promised solitude just as illusory as the pastries on display, because you canât seem to escape a certain fair-faced Halovian.
WORD COUNT: 8.3k
CONTENTS: sunday/reader, f!reader (referred to as young lady, missâ no she/her pronouns used), patisserie au (cousin of cafĂŠ aus), set in canon and fragmented across the timeline (the first four parts take place before 2.7, the fifth and final during it), fluff and banter, soft yan implications if you squint (coughs)(SUNDAY IS JUST WEIRD.), sunday-typical themes of dreams vs reality, reader is overworked and probably nearing a spiral, robin haunts the narrative in form of a keycharm, the yearning is there but buried under the boundaries of reader pov. reader is oblivious, sunday goes by âwonweekâ (since reader does not realize who he is. lol.) but heâs very much still sunday heâs just being annoying.
A/N: ITâS FINALLY DONE . this is a long overdue comm for my most beloved and cherished sunday fucker ( @stellamancer ) đââď¸ it was supposed to be 3k but it ran away from me completely ⌠still, iâm satisfied with what it turned into!! i tried my best to do chicken wing boy justice, so i hope any sunday enjoyers who read this are pleased with the end result!! :â3𫶠ALSO big big thank u to my guardian fawn ( @coyotecrumb ) for proofreading and helping me with the editing process ⌠i love u always âŚâŚ anyway please picture me slamming into sunday at the speed of the astral express because wowww is he stressful to write LMAO. stupid gap moe loser
At the end of the boundary-line between dreams and reality stands a small, quaint patisserieâ its doors always unlocked, opening wide when you tug at the handle.
"Welcome back!" sings the interior. "What can I get for you today?"
It rings out from behind the counter when the bell chime fades, when the door behind you closes. The same girl as always, her hands folded neatly on top of the marble; sleeves cuffed up to her elbows, a blue apron tied around her waist and embroidered with what look to be little doves, pure white and fluttering across the fabric. She's smiling, like she's happy to see you. You see it through the dim lighting, the entire lounge painted blue by the moon through the windows.
The air smells sweet. Buttery. Something like burnt caramel and rose jam, threading through the room.
You inhale, then exhale.Â
In the glamour of the Dreamscape, people hunger for all sorts of things. Luxury, adventure, shimmering bottles of soulglad and evenly cut steaksâ anything that gives the impression of living life to the fullest. The fresh wave of tourists are all off on such ventures, you'd assume. Fine dining, day drinking, sightseeingâŚÂ gambling, of course. You check most of them into the Reverie yourself, help them with their bags, answer any questions they have. Most of them are easy. Most of them are in the manual.
Some of themâ like, are there any spots we should know about? Any hidden gems?â
Well.
Questions like that, you tend to leave unanswered.Â
Because there's only one true hidden gem worth mentioning, tucked away in The Moment of Midnight: where tourists are least likely to linger, where trouble stirs itself to sleep. Only one spot not yet trampled by rowdy dreamers, or sponsored by too-expensive brands. BÊrylune, reads the sign, though you won't see it until you've ventured through a narrow alleyway and stopped in front of a bright-blue door, flickering street lamps on either side. There it stands, solitary. Like a secret just for you.
No way are you letting anyone in on it.Â
"Um, let me think." You shift your weight, absently, reaching up to fiddle with the straps of your handbag. The girl behind the counter hums.Â
"Of course! Please, take your time."
Your eyes glide left, to the faint shimmer of the glass displayâ what you've been dreaming of all evening. What you dream of at the end of every tireless workday. Where you inevitably end up once you've exhausted yourself on your late-night strolls around the Dreamscape, wandering aimlessly, no different from your usual rounds at the hotel. No room ever goes unbooked, so there's no point to sitting down and feigning relaxation.
The least you deserve is to treat yourself.Â
(It's not like you hate your job. You'd say you're lucky, all things considered: a hefty paycheck, golden lights wherever your gaze takes you, the superficial glimmer of casinos and streetlights lying at the center of what Penacony is. The extraordinary is routine. That, in itself, has become a kind of comfort. It's better than your old life. Less monotone. The city is always alight, so there's no need for counting stars.Â
And there's the Dreamscape, of course. Always close at hand, the hazy bliss in front of you.)
Pastries sparkle from beneath the glass, the sight of them enough to make your mouth water. Soft, pillowy slices of spongecake, slathered in honey, squished between fruit tarts weighty with strawberries. Ruby-red, summer-ripe. Your hungry eyes flit from side to side. The bell chime rings out behind you, but you scarcely hear it over the piano playing from behind the counter, soft compositions from an old-school radioâ you don't know who the composer is, but you recognize the song. It never builds up to any crescendo, blissfully empty of weight, of intensity.Â
The room has begun to smell more and more like roasted coffee. An espresso machine purring to life. You think of mystery, of something illusionary. When you look down at your hands they're painted moon-blue.Â
(For you, this is heaven. The crème de la crème of what the Dreamscape has to offer. Not the Golden Hour, not any casinoâ but this.Â
And it's all yours.)
"I'll have the macaron set, please."
(⌠Mostly yours.)
Your gaze drifts to where the Halovian is standing, smoothing a steady hand down the fabric of his suit. His locks are next, rivers of silver running in between his thumb and forefinger, barely-ruffled by the breeze outside.
The lady behind the counter gives him a smile. To the untrained eye it's the same as ever, but you've worked in customer service all your life; you're well aware of what's real and fake, what expression says Please be normal, it's been a long day as it is, or I'm so happy to see you again. Seriously. It gleams brighter, much brighter, than the one she'd graced you with. A bashful flicker that has you wanting to sigh.Â
⌠Not that you blame her. He is handsome.
"Of course, sir. Will that be for here, or to-go?"
"To-go, for tonight. Have you been well?"
"Yes!" She shoots up, in the process of bending down to bring the pastries out from the display. "Ah, um. Yes, I have! And you?"
A quiet hum. He isn't looking at her, you notice. Rather, the golden cuts of his eyes are stuck on the glass, on what's gleaming behind it. Not the macarons he ordered, but a golden pudding tart. "I've been well," he says. "Thank you."
Then he's quiet. His voice is nice to listen to, like a late-night talk show host in the prime of his career, pleasant white noise to tune out the world with. Suited for lullabies and ghost stories. Your eyes follow him, vacantly, the way his fingers tug down his sleeve to check his watch, the brittle flutter of his wings when he exhales, pairs of silky-looking feathers twitching against his neck. One of them is pierced, though you can't see it from this angle.Â
This isn't your first encounter with the stranger. He's usually here around the same time you are, when the moon in reality would have showed its pearly-blue teeth; either gazing at the display when you enter, or sitting by a table in the corner with his lips against the rim of a porcelain cup. It's unusual for you to beat him to it; maybe work kept him late?Â
⌠Yeah, probably not. He's too pretty to be anything but a flashy tourist. A secret idol, maybe?
You humour yourself with the thought.
His pupils flicker, suddenly, golden ripples across the surface of his eyes. You're zoned out, watching them, only now noticing that he's angled his face away from the counterâ the sharp lines of his jaw pointing in your direction.
When you realize he's catching your stare, his lips have already parted.
"Ah, pardon me," he says, silky-smooth, eyes curling into slits. Smiling cordially. "Were you about to order?"Â
Stupidly, you blink at him. After a moment, your gaze snaps back to the sheet of glass in front of you. "No, don't worry," your smile is barely-there, though you make an attemptâ you never know who's important when it comes to Penacony. Never know when you might be speaking to an idol on vacation, or a CEO with the influence to get you fired. Best to be on the safe side. "I was still deciding, soâŚ"
He waits for you to finish. When you don't, keen eyes of gold leave your face.
"I see."
Silence settles in the space between you. You don't dare look at him again, busying yourself with your choice of pastry, eyes flitting restlessly between them. Should you go for something syrupy sweet, or minty and refreshing..? He's facing forward, but the weight of his gaze is still searing your skin, the butt of a cigarette against your brittle cheek.Â
It's heavy. It leaves an impression.Â
(Because you've seen him, yesâ but you've never caught his eye. Not for more than a moment, a quick glance or absent nod.
This is the first time you've spoken.)
When his voice calls out again, you've settled on a sizable fruit tart. Speckled with blackberries, the crust a nice golden brown, eyes focused on it when that bedtime story cadence echoes on your left. "I'd like them packaged, if that's alright." He tugs gently at the bottom of his glove, adjusting it with nimble fingers. "They're a gift."
Gift.Â
The word makes your mind halt, for a moment. Something in the way he wraps his tongue around it. Soft, albeit briefly.
The poor girl behind the counter must have heard it too. Because she's wilted by the time you've raised your gaze, hanging her head a little lower than before, hiding barely concealed disappointment behind a tight-curved smile.Â
"⌠Of course," she chirps, weakly. "One moment."
She places the macarons inside a small, rectangular box, lining them up one by one inside it; green, pink, ochre, repeated twice, a row of sparkling gemstones, only sliced into halves. Then she's closing it, wrapping her fingers around a silky blue ribbon to thread it around the front and back.Â
"Thank you for waiting," she slides it across the counter.
The Halovian hums, accepting it with careful hands. He pays, swiftly, brandishing a black card. Yep, definitely not a working class comrade. His halo gleams in the dim light, thrumming faintly when it catches onto its golden edge. Like church bells tolling on a far-away planet. "Thank you," he says, quietly. "Have a good night."
When he turns to leave, his gaze overlaps with yours. No longer than a second, a glimmer of sun-soaked copperâ he reaches for the handle of the door, and the moment turns to vapour. Midnight air courses in as he slips through the gap, chills the base of your ankles, the tips of your fingers. A soft jingle, and he's gone.Â
His back disappears into the night, his shadow painted cornflower blue. You see it through the window.
(You wonder where he's going.)
"Excuse me, miss." A stale smile, and a downcast voice. "Would you like to order?"
You snap your head back into place. "Y-yes, please."
The fruit tart tastes as good as you expected it to. You eat it there, at a table in the cornerâ it's not like you could bring it back to reality, even if you wanted to eat it in the comfort of your quartersâ sinking your teeth into the crust, feeling it crumble into pieces around them. The blackberries burst with juice, melting together with the cream, thick notes of vanilla and chestnut. You lick your lips with a happy hum.Â
Too good to be true, though you guess that's the point.
When you return to reality, the taste won't linger on your lips. Your body won't feel satiated. You know this, but you still keep coming backâ to a badly-placed patisserie, in the least popular Moment of the Dreamscapeâ gorging on pastries made from dreams and stardust. As if just the illusion is enough to keep you full. As if you could keep going, and going, plucking every star from the illusionary sky.Â
It's a foolish thought.
(You suppose that's why you're here, anyway. The reason you can't pull yourself away from the Reverie, or the Dreamscape. In a way, you're perfect for each other.
Glamour, and delicacies, and questionable men.
⌠Truly, the essence of what Penacony has to offer.)
The next time you step inside, the patisserie is empty. No Halovian gentleman by the counter, nor by the tables, no silky-soft voice threading through the air.Â
Again, you beat him to it.Â
"Welcome back!" Smiles the clerk, her lips glossy and pink. The shade makes you think of cherry balm. With sluggish steps, you walk up to the counter, expression practically trampled in comparison to hers. You muster a weary upward tilt of your lips, a half-hearted nodâ you don't have it in you to do anything more. The guests were just awful, today. Lips drawing into a thin line, flimsy excuse of a smile slipping off them, your gaze glides over to the glass-layered display.
A better you would be in bed by now. Watching a soap opera, waiting for your order of real food to arrive. But you're not betterâ you're just youâ and if you don't get your hands on a treat within the next five minutes you think your brain will just burst. The lady behind the counter is humming to herself, the song unfamiliar.Â
"I'd like⌠a croissant," you order, tentative. "With chocolate filling, please."
She nods. "Any drinks, or will that be all?"
Your lips part, before slowly falling shut again. Something warm doesn't sound so bad right now, actuallyâŚÂ "I'll take a cup of hot chocolate, too."
"Great! One secondâŚ"
You exhale faintly, blinking twice. Watching with unfocused eyes as she presses the tips of her fingers against the small screen in front of her. Beep. Beepâ the noise just barely cutting through your muddled senses, your hazy peripheral.Â
"Aaand there you are!" She gestures towards the card reader, lacing her fingers together. "I'll get started on your orderâ will you be eating here?"
"⌠No." You shake your head, reaching for your pocket. "I'll take it to-go, pleaâ"
âŚ
Your fingers spread out. One, after the other, like spindly limbs extending. Searching.Â
But no, there's nothing.Â
For a moment, all you can do is stand frozen in place. Eyes wide with disbeliefâ the beginnings of denial. Your fingers, still twitching idly in the pocket of your pants, stop smoothing over old receipts and loose change and lip balmâ they turn as still as you. Seconds pass, no more than five, before a heaving sigh breaks past your lips.
Your wallet isn't there.Â
Clinging onto what remains of your sanity, your hand slips out your pocket, right into the next. But, again, nothing. You're sure it's not in your purse, because you didn't bring it with you, and you remember holding your wallet no more than half an hour agoâ unless you're mistaken? It's no good, your brain is already too subdued for second guessing. When you raise your gaze the clerk is looking at you, blinking like she's confused. The scent of cocoa seeps through the air, her hands busy with the milk pitcher, and for once you wish the service wasn't so fast.Â
"⌠I'm sorry," you say, as clearly as you can manageâ which is barely above a whisper, really. Your head hurts. You kind of want to cry. Being the responsible adult you are, you attempt to hold it in. "I⌠think I dropped my wallet."
"Oh no!" Her lips fall into a frown, but she seems hesitant on what to say next. "I'm sorry to hear thatâŚ"
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. You repeat it to yourself. It's just a croissant. Except, of course, it really isn'tâ it was supposed to be your well-deserved after-work treat, and you needed it today more than ever. The illusionary comfort only the Dreamscape can provide.
"Sorry," you repeat, breath pitifully stuck in the back of your throat. Ready to turn on your heel, and walk back into reality, your nails leaving crescents on your inner palms. It's subconsciousâ you barely feel the ache. "I'll⌠come back tomorrow."
"No need."
⌠A voice, feather-soft, calls out from behind you.Â
When you turn your head towards its source, two golden eyes stare back at you. A certain Halovian, parting his lips.
"I'll pay for it. Just add it to my order." He pays no mind to your bewildered expression, speaking candidly. How did you not hear him coming in? "A croissant for me as well, please. Savoury."
The familiar stranger walks up to the counter, not even sparing you a glance. If you didn't know better, you'd think he was referring to another customer with no wallet to their name. You're the only ones here, though. He says something to the clerk, something you don't catch, because you're too busy staring at his face like he just dropped down from the skyâ crashed through the roof like a bird with burning feathers.Â
(Or an angel, maybe. An angel with just the right amount of wings, and a halo made of thorny gold. An angel with eyes like charred sunflower fields.
⌠Your mind is left entranced.)
"Oh, um. Alright! Will that be to-go, or�"
"No, that's alright." He takes out his card. "We're eating here."
Only when it moves towards the card reader, does your brain finally catch up to what your eyes are seeing. Without thinking, you grasp onto his arm.
"W-wait, you don't have to!" Your fingers curl around the linen of his sleeve, the protest stumbling out your lips. Your mind is too jumbled up to realize what you're doingâ you can't feel the heat of his skin, or the thumping of his pulse, but his eyes coil into slits where they meet yours. "Seriously, I'd hate to botherâ"
"Oh, it's no bother."Â
He smiles, suddenly; stale, his earrings swaying when he tilts his head to face you. Hand gentle when it comes to lay over yours. His gloved fingers feel silky against your own, untangling them casually, before he smooths the flat of his palm down the fabric you creased.Â
"I'd be happy to," he says.Â
"⌠But,"
Without further pause, he slides his card against the card reader. A decisive beep. Paying for your order, seamlessly, the smile on his lips never slipping off his face; from this narrow distance you think you'd be able to see the weariness in his eyes, but it isn't there. Neatly tucked away, maybe. Or is he just a night owl?
You purse your lips, unsure what else to do. The clinking of plates fills the air.
"⌠Thank you," you settle on. A quiet breath.
"You're welcome." His reply is instant. "Though I suggest you pay more attention in the future. A lost wallet is no laughing matter."
⌠He's right, but something about the way he says it doesn't sit right with you. You decide to stay silent, until the plates have been served, until you're seated at a table in the corner right across from him. Two croissants in front of you, yours streaked and stuffed with chocolate, coated in a layer of powdered sugar, like snow on a mountaintopâ a halved strawberry sitting neatly on top of itâ his filled with lettuce, ham, and thinly sliced cheese. He watches you take a tentative bite, the crumbs sticking to your fingers, before reaching for his knife and fork.Â
"The Dreamscape is a safe place, relatively speaking." He continues, taking nimble bites between the words. "But that doesn't mean there are no souls who would take advantage over a young lady's naivety. It doesn't hurt to take precautions."
"⌠You mean, you think somebody stole it?"
An absent hum. "Not exactly." He's smiling, again, though it's hard to tell when the lights overhead intermingle with the shadows from the window to your right. His face is candle-lit, flickering faintly. "What I mean isâ you should keep important things close to your person. For an adult, that's only natural, wouldn't you agree?"
(⌠He's making fun of you.)
"⌠It isn't like me," you explain, cringing at how defensive it sounds. As if sulking, you sink your teeth into the sugary croissant. "I'm not that scatterbrained."
The Halovian tilts his head, ever so slightly.Â
"⌠Good," he places his cutlery back on the table. Then: "Here you are."
You watch as he brings your wallet out of his pocket. Sets it down in front of you, the leather smudged with a light layer of dustâ though the rubber charm you clipped onto it remains unsoiled, her smile devoid of flecks.Â
Baffled, you stare at it.
Then up at him.Â
"It was lying just outside," he tells you, voice like a news anchor mentioning the weather. Too casual, you think. He brings a pure white handkerchief to the curve of his lips. "âYou have good taste. That collection was my favorite of last spring's."
In the moment, you decidedly ignore his knowledge on idol merchandise. The bewilderment still coursing through your veins takes priority, your voice dumb-struck when you askâÂ
"You had it all along?" A mortified pause. "Why didn't you give it to me earlier?"
"All actions should have consequences." He answers, simply. "Even something as idle as embarrassment has a strong effect on the mind⌠I'm sure you'll be more wary in the future."
You blink. Once, then twice.
The Halovian's expression remains carefully concealed. You see no notes of humour, nor of ill intent. Condescension, maybe, in the smooth line of his lips. The way he's looking at you. It's vague enough that you wouldn't notice if he wasn't saying something soâŚ
⌠Socially obscene?
"I'm an adult," you finally bite, too exhausted to play at sounding cordial. Your brow twitches, restless with irritation. "⌠I don't need a stranger to gentle parent me, thank you."
âŚ
Are you being rude? Sure. But you're tired, you've had an awful day, andâ frankly, you don't have it in you to entertain whatever mind games he just admitted to using on you, even if he turned out to be the CEO of the Reverie himself. He's weird. Weirdo. Waste of a pretty face. The thoughts enter your mind, but don't turn into words.
âŚÂ After all, you're still taking bites of the croissant that he bought you. The damage is done.Â
(You settle on silent, petty scrutinyâ he's for sure the type to put a tracker on his girlfriend's phone. The motel stalker type.)
Finally, he speaks. "Pardon me," he smiles, a narrow line. "It wasn't my intention to offend you."
Through a mouthful of powdered sugar and chocolate, you offer him a dubious look. He seems to notice it. "That was only half the reason," he explains, clicking his pointer finger on the edge of the table. Rhythmic thumps, in tune with the composition playing from the counter. "To be honest, I'm not too fond of sweets. But seeing you enjoy them so openly isâŚÂ refreshing." A beat. "In a sense."
⌠Is that supposed to be a compliment?
Moreoverâ how long has he been watching you? The thought lingers on your mind, for no more than a moment. You let it go when he speaks.
"What I mean isâ I've been hoping to converse with you." The tapping stops, abruptly. He goes silentâ a look in his eyes like he isn't really there, a faceless stare boring into you. "⌠This was a golden opportunity."
His voice is all honey and silver, but you aren't sure what to make of it. When his eyes flit away from yours, briefly, his halo remains unmoving. Overseeing. His pupils flickering like a pair of injured sparrows. There's a gap in the way that he's acting, you think.
Everything about the way he carries himself suggests social awareness, soâ
⌠what's with this awkward tension?Â
(It's like he's a sheltered princess. Like someone locked him up in a tower, and told him how to speak to othersâ let him practice in front of mirrors, dance with marionette dolls. That kind of feeling. Like he's looking through you, rather than at youâ like his mouth is being guided by a silent, invisible hand, lips tugged apart to make space for their words. But then, who is the dragon? The evil stepmother?
⌠Maybe he really is an idol. That would be the more grounded option. An out of touch celebrity vacationing on Penacony, unused to the mysteries of social boundaries. It would explain his knowledge in Robin merchandise, at leastâŚ)
Your stare must unnerve him. Or maybe he gets tired of waiting for a response. Either way, he lets out something like a chuckle; it shatters your thoughts. "Ah, forgive me⌠Itâs unlike me to speak so brazenly. I've overstepped."
With graceful poise, he digs his fork into the nearly-finished croissant. Lifts the final piece towards his mouth, without so much as angling his jaw down. Silent, measured chewing, the seconds between his words filled with nothing but the white noise of the ticking clock behind him. It sits on the wall, hands counting down until sunrise, though it means nothing in the Moment of Midnight. Still hours away.
Like a snake slithering back into its nest, he stands up as soon as he's swallowedâ swiping the tip of his tongue across the seam of his lips. The chair is pushed back into place, before he graces you with another easy-curved smile.Â
"Please, don't let me ruin your meal."
"Umâ wait." Just as he's about to leave, you stop him. "What's your name?"
When he turns his head, his eyes catch the moon-stream from the window. Gold turns to silver in the white streak of light. The Halovian parts his lips, but no noise makes it past themâ he seems to reconsider whatever he was going to say.Â
A quiet hum, at the juncture of his throat.
"⌠Wonweek."
"Ah⌠thank you, Wonweek." You probably shouldn't be thanking him, but it slips out before you can stop yourself. You're more preoccupied with other thoughtsâ such as, you don't know any idols with that stage name, so either he's lying or the work-stress is having a positive effect on your imaginationâ "For the food. And⌠for picking up my wallet."
He surveys you, for a moment. Doesn't say a word. Pupils coiling into thoughtful slits.
Silver locks sway, when he turns around.Â
"It was my pleasure."Â
⌠And then he's leaving.Â
(The barely-there afternotes of his cologne linger on the seat across from you, stitched into the polyester: deep, mellow amber.)
This time, Wonweek is already there when you open the door.
With the Charmony Festival just around the corner, it's a miracle you can still move your legs. All dayâ all weekâ nothing but guests, checking in from every corner of the galaxy. It's so hectic you've been demoted to carrier, lunging around suitcases twice your size while the senior staff tends to the visitors. There's a numbing ache in your limbs, all the way to the base of your joints. Splintered out across your nerves.
Yet you make your usual rounds. The dried blue tones of the midnight sky sweep across your cheeks, as you rouse the bell chime into lifeâ and he's there.
A brief flicker of gold, and a subtle smile, his eyes catching yours when they glide across the lounge. The air is thick with black tea, steam drifting from the silver-lined rim of his porcelain cup, the pure white speckled with bluebirds. His lashes flutter shut when he takes a sip. As always, the radio plays soft piano.
"Welcome back! What can I get for you, today?"
The lady behind the counter offers you the same smile as ever. She painted her nails, you noticeâ blue, but a touch lighter than the shade of her apron. Like the evening sky of a particularly hot summer. You wrap your tongue around a quiet hum, eyes moving to the glass display. Squinting at the pastries under it.
⌠Honestly, you aren't sure.
"Having trouble deciding?" Wonweek chimes in, when you've been standing in place for a moment too long. There's a cordial smile on his lips, a cheery note to his voice; like he's in a good mood. He abandons his spot to come stand beside you.
"⌠A little," you admit. "I guess I'm not sure what I'm in the mood for?"
A soft, affirming noise.Â
"Would you like me to decide for you?"Â
When you raise your head, his eyes are gleaming. Shimmering gold, flickering playfully, though his smile is nothing but composed, his gloved hands folded behind his back as he awaits your response. You're silent, for a breath.Â
"⌠Sure," you then exhale, spur of the moment. "Why not?"
That seems to please him. At least, if his satisfied hum is anything to go by. Wonweek faces forward, the bridge of his nose falling into your peripheral.
"Let's seeâŚ" A thoughtful pause. "What would you say to a parfait?"
Your eyes follow the trail left by his steady gaze, stopping where it ends: on a tall glass filled with layers of custard and meringue, crushed berries and cookie crumbs, topped with dollops of cream and thick slices of fruit. The sight makes your mouth water. You're sure that he notices. That he can somehow tell.Â
Not wanting to give him the satisfaction, you simply reach for your wallet, making sure your voice reaches his ears when you ask: "Do you want anything?"
He blinks.Â
"⌠To pay you back," you explain, glancing at him cautiously. Hoping you'll sound even mildly assertive, through the fog around your after-work brain. "For last time."
"Ah." Another flutter of his lashes. "There's no need."
Your brows furrow in frustration. A moment's pause, until you're trying again, taking out your card while eyeing the display. Surely, there has to be something he'd want� "It's only fair⌠I mean, you paid for mine, right?"
"Really, there's no need."
You turn towards him fully, lips catching on a sigh. "I want to."
"You aren't going to."Â
âŚ
His smile is close-knit. Eyes curled into threatening crescents.
"You're too kind," he says, voice deceptively cheery. His eyes are sharp when he opens them, daggers gleaming in the dark of night. "But, really, I insist."
Any further protests die out on your tongue.
Wonweek ends up buying a lightly toasted sandwich, to go with his darjeeling tea. You recognize the scent when you've seated yourself across from him, led along by his not-so-subtle social cues, like a puppet on a string. Needless to say, he paid for it himself. You get the feeling he'd have done the same with your parfait, had you given him an openingâ if only just to get back at you for suggesting otherwise.
Are all Halovians control freaks, you wonder? Or is it just him?
âAre you enjoying the Dreamscape?â He asks, sinking his teeth into the sourdough. Chew, and swallow. He licks his parting lips. âIs it to your liking?
You lean back in your seat, mellow warmth seeping through your fingers when they curl around the handle of your cup. Rich espresso, a roasted fragrance. âI am," you tell him, honestly. "I wasnât sure about the pastries⌠but they taste just as good as in reality.â
âOf course.â He smiles, something unusual in his expression. âThey need to.â
âŚ
You watch him silently, through lidded eyes. He's looking down at your plate, making an expression you can't put your finger onâ then back up at you, seamlessly, his face falling back into something vaguely insincere.Â
Controlled.
"Are you enjoying it?"
(His smile curves up. It makes you think of a plant uprooted, tugged from its tender soilâ on the cusp of being ripe enough to pluck.
It makes you think, for whatever reason, that you really shouldn't have asked.)
"I am." He answers, easily. "A dream that never ends⌠don't you think that's wonderful?"
"I guess so."
"Oh? Do you disagree?"
"Well, IâŚ" You clear your throat. "Honestly, I think it's a little scary, sometimes."
He casts you a questioning look.Â
"LikeâŚÂ I want to stay here forever." You stir your spoon in circles, watching the espresso swirl, a night-black vortex. "There are people who start to feel that way."Â
"Is that so awful?"
Quiet. Stale, like the wrong edge of a scalpel.Â
The silence that settles when his words have left his tongue is strained, a bowl about to break in the heat of a bubbling furnace. In your mind, you play out the noise it'd makeâ clatter, and crack, shattering on the floor and breaking into porcelain piecesâ your lips trying in vain to wrap themselves around an apology.
For what, though?Â
(You can tell from his tense brow you've upset himâ but how?)
The seconds tick on, with the counting of the clock on the wall, a slow, steady mantra. As if to escape the unsettling atmosphere, you direct your gaze towards the tall glass in front of you. Wonweek chooses that moment to speak.Â
"⌠Reality breaks them." His voice bears more than sterness: it bleeds. Tears the silence into overripe halves. When you bite into your parfait you taste peach, streams of sticky nectar in between your teeth, too syrupy. "If the Dreamscape can offer those lost souls some relief, it can be nothing but a good thing."
Chew, and swallow. He isn't meeting your eyes anymore.
"I⌠see your point."
Seawaves of blue filter in through the window, dripping down the contours of his face. From his cheeks, to his jaw, the shadow between his nose and lipsâ the glow of a silverfish's squirming body. It disappears when the moon slips beneath a cluster of clouds, his expression obscured. "I've seen you at the Reverie," Wonweek exhales a breath, his voice strung tight; lips falling into a straight-laced line. It softens when they part, near imperceptible. "⌠You always look so tired."
He meets your gaze when it snaps up. Captures it, and holds it, his own eyes not once wavering. Before anything elseâ before your mind can catch up to the strangeness of those wordsâ you think to yourself that he looks a little sad.
"It's only when you're hereâŚÂ that you seem to be content." His fingers curl around the handle of the cup, and bring it to his moving lips, steam clouding his cupid's bow. An earthy scent, something like rain on an autumn morning. "In that sense, I thought you and I might be similar. Or, ratherâ I thought you'd sympathize with the Dreamscape as a whole. The respite it brings."
The three-eyed halo crowning him bears down on you, unblinking; his wings swaying in tune with his voice, a booming kind of quiet, like it's urging you to listen. You wish you could, but your mind is too occupied to truly understand what he's getting at. You can only think, blearily, through the white noise of your weary mindâ
That you have never seen him before.Â
You're sure you haven't, because as strange as he's proved himself to beâ he's annoyingly handsome. You'd remember his eyes, if nothing else. The twitches of his lithe fingertips, the subtle sense of self-perceivement in his voice.
(You've never seen Wonweek at the Reverie.)
"⌠You're struggling, too?" you ask, tentative. Wonweek simply smiles.
"I used to." His voice is non-concealing. "Things are better, now."
He sets the cup down with a quiet clink. You watch him, silently, even as you realize he doesn't plan on elaborating. His smile is familiar. It's like the one you see in mirrors, when you tell yourself the future is larger than this.
In mirrors, in marble countertops, on nights that never seem to end.Â
"If reality brings you nothing but suffering, then there's no need to open your eyes anymore. I've been wanting to tell you that."
You hear the leaving in his voice before he stands up, palms flat on the table when he rises. He pushes his chair back, plate empty save for a neatly sorted pile of breadcrumbs, and raises a hand to thread through his feathers.Â
âI hope I'm not overstepping.â he adds, carefully. "Please, do take it to heart."
"⌠Okay."
One last smile, before he walks out the door. As always, you followâ with your eyes, as much as you are able, before the bell chime fades and takes him with it. You're left with a lacking, troubled feeling, but there aren't enough untangled threads in your mind to make space for it. You eat the remainder of your parfait in silence.Â
Behind you, faintly, resounds the ticking of a clock.Â
The next time you enter the patisserie, Wonweek is nowhere to be seen.
You sit by the window until the sun breaks through the cloudsâ until it would have, if it wasn't locked behind a never-ending midnight. A sugar-coated orange lining tearing the sky in half. Weeping dawn across its blue cheeks. There is no sight of him, even then; not of silver locks of hair, not of halos or of wings.Â
He doesn't come in the day after. Or the day after that. Days bleed into weeks. Strawberry shortcakes, lemon meringue, coffee with too much or too little creamer. You sit by the table in the corner, and wait for a man that never walks through the door.
(At some point, you stop expecting him to.)
Sunday stops by the window. Inhales a breath.
You're there. As always.Â
(What should make him feel relief leaves him with trepidation.)
Silently, he gazes into the interior of the patisserie: the lounge is dim-lit, but he sees you, curled in on yourself by a table in the corner like a baby bird in a too-big nest. He clutches onto the image, for a moment. Considers leaving once or twice. Mr. Yang is waitingâ he's on borrowed time, well past owing favours. It would be easier to simply cut this loss.
His steps towards the door are silent.Â
The midnight moon gleams just as blue as always, spilling cobalt all over the paved streets, the alleyway that led him here. His own shadow half-transparent. It's more beautiful than he remembers, though perhaps that should be attributed to his own disinterestâ The Hour of Midnight never struck him as especially precious. No morning dawn, no golden light, no sound except that of distant partygoers. The glow of the moon seemed somber, if anything.Â
(He never quite understood why this was where you'd found your peace.)
For a moment his fingers simply linger by the handle, the chill of the wood dulled by the black fabric of his gloves. His hand curls around it with tentative thought.Â
When the door slides open, his eyes instinctually close.
Darkness. It lays itself over his vision, a thick blanket wrung around the sockets of his eyesâ Sunday waits for the chime of the bell overhead.
It answers, dutifully. The sound of glass clinking against itself, shattering quietly. When he steps inside, soft piano: Satie's GymnopĂŠdie No.1.Â
The door falls shut behind him. Sunday spares no glance towards the woman by the counter, much too preoccupied with the pair of eyes across the room. You've raised your gaze, the silver spoon between your fingers shining with the blue from the window behind you. The air smells of fruit, honeyed and ripe.Â
Sunday moves.
You're blinking up at him, dumb-struck, when he stops by your table. Watches your lashes flutter, feels his wings twitch with an emotion he doesn't want to nameâ something that ties a knot inside his abdomen, inside his chest.Â
It makes it difficult to speak.Â
(He likes that about you. That blissfully empty gaze. The way it conceals nothing.)
Seamlessly, he takes the seat across from you. Doesn't smile, but his voice is light when he says: "Good evening." A quiet inhale. "How have you been?"
Silence lingers in the wake of his words. It does not unnerve him; he is nothing if not patient. Nothing but a content overseer. Content to watch your fingertips twitch, when you let the spoon you're grasping fall onto the plate, a quiet clink of metal on ceramic. It looks as if you've barely grazed the fruit tart.
You look well, he thinks. There are shadows under your eyes, but they're not quite as dark as he remembers them being. Not the absent, worrying smudges he saw in the CCTVâ your eyes themselves look somehow clearer.
He wonders what caused it.
(He knows it's not him. Wishes it did not grate at him, in that shameful, ugly corner of his mind, still not cleansed of petulant pettinessâ)
When your lips part, he follows the drag of your cupid's bow. Your voice an arrow piercing through the air.Â
"Hi," you say, uncertainly. "It's⌠been a while."
"It has."
âŚ
Sunday's eyes do not stray, even when your own begin to waver. "How have you been?" He repeats, after a moment's pause.
"Uh, good. Just fine." You tilt your head, softly. "And you?"
An exhale leaves him, amused. Part of him wishes he could give you an honest answer, butâ well, how is he to summarize it? I fell from the sky. I had an epiphany, of sortsâ no, that's misleading. I think I died, for a moment. Just enough to gasp for air.
How should he relay it to you?
"âŚÂ I've been well, all things considered," he feeds you a vague half-truth, a small smile tugging at his bottom lip. "I was hoping I'd see you again."Â
That makes you look at him strangely. Your lips twitching open, and then falling shut, enough to have his hands wandering, fingers tugging restlessly at the smooth silk of his glove, the thin material stretching to accommodate his absent graze. Sunday hums, lightly.
"I'm leaving Penacony." He straightens his back, speaking clearly, the words filling his lungs with air that smells of honeydew. Of possibilities. "I know it doesn't concern you. We're just strangers, after all⌠but I wanted to say a proper goodbye."
He's just tying up loose ends. That's all.Â
(He doesn't have it in him to hope for anything else.)
"⌠Why?" Your voice is pure, innocently curious. "If you don't mind me askingâŚ"
"It's a long story. I'm certain I'd bore you."
You hum, tentativeâ reaching for your spoon. It scoops up the sliced kiwi, the foamy cream, brings a piece up to your parting lips.
"⌠Well, the Dreamscape has been crazy lately," you say after swallowing, your tongue dipping out to catch the fruit juice dribbling down your bottom lip. He follows it, absently. "I heard Sunday was exiled from the Oak Family, or something?"
â An upward twitch of his lips.
With the heel of his palm, Sunday hurries to obscure itâ masks it with an idle cough, though he's certain that it doesn't come off as very convincing. You go silent, like you're confused. The look in your eye is what tips him over.
A melodious chuckle breaks past his lips. Light and clear, a home-bound ocean breeze; when he speaks it's all but muffled, caught between his fingertips.
"You areâŚÂ so out of the loop."
"⌠Huh?"
He shakes his head, lightlyâ silver strands swaying, ghosting the skin of his forehead. Extends a hand across the table, his inner palm facing up. "Sunday," he says, eyes gleaming with mirth. "My name is Sunday."
He can practically see the gears of your mind turn, click sluggishly into place, a series of mismatched blinks. Hopelesslyendearing.
"âŚÂ Not that Sunday, right?"
His smile only curls further. "I wonder."
"Are you? There's no way." You're starting to look panicked, eyes wide with disbelief. It shouldn't make him so amused, the visible embarrassment upon your features, he shouldn't be enjoying it as much as he is.Â
(Inwardly, he berates himself. Right now, he really is no better than Wonweek, is he?)
"I hope you can forgive me," he half-croons, dove-like, a weak attempt at stifling the joy in his expression. "I suppose I enjoyed teasing you. I was sure you'd catch on quicker, but I underestimated you."
You look mortified. It's almost, almost enough to pull another chuckle from his breast.
(No better than Wonweek, he repeats, quelling the urge.)
"⌠Actually," you say, after the silence has properly settled, your expression far less like you want to burrow your head into sandâ sweeping a hand across the silence gathering dust between you, "I'm leaving Penacony, too."
That makes him still. "Oh?"
âI quit my job this morning," nervously, your fingers trace the edge of the ceramic plate. "And without my job, I don't have a place to stay⌠so I'm going somewhere else. Not sure where, but, you know."
He hums, affirmative.
"I just had to get one last pastry." There's a smile on your face, albeit flimsy; he could probably tug it off with just a swipe of his thumb across the seam of your lips. His fingers twitch with the desire, but he kills it just as quickly. "I haven't been here in a while, actually. Not since the Charmony Festival fiasco⌠I got really busy, and you weren't hereâ well, it's not like that was why, you know, but still. I havenât had one of these in a while.â
The trail of your wandering digits changes course. You break off a piece of the pastry at its center, crumbling dough between your index finger and thumb. A weary sigh escapes your lungs.Â
Saddened, he thinks.
"Tarts taste sweeter in reality... I think I forgot."
Sunday watches you in silence.
"⌠Yes," he exhales, after a moment's pause. "you're probably right."
The composition from the counter changes, Satie's replaced by the tender strokes of a violin, sweet and light, filling the empty space of silence; Ashokan Farewell. His eyelids flutter closed, curtains of half-translucent moonlight drawing shut across his face.
"You know," he hears himself speak, "I think I'll follow your example."
When he stands up you follow, first with your eyes and then with your bodyâ knees audibly knocking against the leg of your chair when you attempt to rise the first time. He smiles at the gesture, his expression serene.Â
The glass display shimmers from afar, beckoning.Â
⌠Ever since he had those pudding tarts, he hasn't been able to stop thinking about it.
Sunday waltzes up to the counter, brandishing a gentle smile. "I'll have one crème brĂťlĂŠe, please." You come to a stand-still beside him. "And one for my companion, as well."Â
A tingling heat, where your gaze sears into his neck. He meets it from the corner of his eye, a playful cadence to his voice when he asks, "Unless you're already full? Or, would you like something else?"
A moment passes.Â
"⌠Crème brÝlÊe is fine," you hum.
Sunday exhales. "In that case, we'llâ"
"But I'm paying."
You side-step him with grace, tugging your wallet open. When you angle your face to meet his expression, there's something pleased about the way your lips are curved; he thinks of Robin, a gentle cat's grin, the look she'd give him whenever she'd foot the bill in secret.Â
It makes him chuckle, despite himself.
"Are you usually this stubborn?" he asks, eyes gleaming gold.Â
"Not really," you shrug. "I just don't like owing people favours."
He can sympathize with that.Â
Still, he pauses. Restrains the urge to be equally as stubborn; a struggle, it turns out, but he stays his hand. Tries not to listen to the voice in his head, familiar nagging, Don't let anyone do what you could do just as well yourselfâ a hand on the back of his neck. Even worse, the faded lull of his mother's voice, smaller, whispered. Somehow, it bears more weight.
(Oh my, are those for me? My little angel is such a gentleman.)
He swallows, imperceptively.
"⌠Are you sure?" he inquires. Your reply is instant.
"Yep."
Deadpan. You're weary of waiting, it seems.
Sunday sighs, his smile indulgent. Head lowered in a show of defeat. "âŚÂ Alright," he concedes. "In that case, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Next time," he continues, sharply, "will be on me, however."Â
The words linger in the air.Â
For a moment, he regrets them; almost certain that you've been put off. He's already pushing his luck, he's well aware of thatâ tongue twitching with a change of topic, willing it to be seamless, but it weighs down on the muscle like lead, iron searing hotly, a path from roof to throat.
You don't say a word.Â
Only still, briefly. Stiffen in place. You spare him a glance before your head flips forward, fishing the credit card out of your wallet, the Robin keycharm still dangling from its corner like a wind chime. Her smile strikes him as mischievous.Â
"Mm,"Â it's a shallow hum, more breath than word. "That's fine, then."
Sunday blinks. Has to swallow the affection crawling up his throat in pollinated flurries, an itch that reaches all the way back to the root of his ribcage. Leaves his feathers to twitch, no more than a wingspan's worth of fluttering, pinpricks of excitement spreading through his neckâ an electric sensation he cannot put a finger on.Â
All he knows is that it makes his lips bloom. His hand comes up to cover it.
(Yes, that's right, he thinks. In the vast expanse of the cosmosâ in some corner of the universe, wherever that may beâ your paths will surely cross again. You'll find another patisserie. One with better lighting, where he can look at you properly from the other side of the table: where he will not be able to hide the smile behind his fingers.)
The lady behind the counter looks bashful, watching the two of you in sheepish silence, as if she isn't sure whether it's alright to chime in or not. Sunday should feel apologetic, but he scarcely notices her presence until she clears her throat.Â
"⌠Will that be for here, or to-go?"Â
The words break you out of your reverie. You sputter out a confirmation, visibly embarrassed, the card nearly slipping through the gaps between your fingers in your rush to slide it against the card readerâ and Sunday truly cannot help himself. His smile curls upwards, like a bird taking flight, a sunflower twisting its stalk towards the clear-blue sky. It breaks through the clouds, carelessly.
Outside the window, the crescent moon mirrors his expression.Â
It's softer than you might think. Mydei's hair is surprisingly well-kempt, although it still gets a couple knots every now and then; thatâs inevitable. Due to how thick his hair is, Mydeiâs hair tends to get matted easily while fighting, and it can be a pain for him to untangle. And so, in true warrior fashion, Mydei has slowly taken it upon himself to adopt and familiarise himself with the art of self care.
Mydei didn't grow up learning how to take care of himself properly; survival came first. It was only natural that his interests would align in things like cooking and exercise, however, it wasnât until much later did he start to take up a formal interest in his appearance.
Even before he first came to Okhema, Mydei had always tried to stay clean. If he didn't, he'd be walking around day-to-day permeated by the stench of blood and sweatâ so he was a frequent bather. But he didnât do much else other than that, and he definitely used to look even more rugged than he does now.
Despite his efforts, it was Aglaea who first told him that he should try putting more care into his appearance. Tribbie chimes in agreement. However, Mydei didn't seem too affected by their griping. Then, a bit later into the day, Hyacine invites Mydei out to an all-girl's spa day at the bathhouse. Begrudgingly, Mydei accepts with a sigh. However, he soon begins to reflect again on his decision as the girls conspiratorially turn towards one another and begin to whisper a little too eagerly among themselves.
Mydei realises regret is a fickle thing. When he later asks what they were talking about, Castorice would only give Mydei an awkward smile. And so, he pushed the event out of his mind and distracted himself with his commitments and training, waiting it out to the point he forgot all about his dreadâ up until the moment they started to drag him in there. However, it was also there that Mydei learned just how popular this practice was for the denizens of Okhema. One that enlightened him on a previously unknown holistic approach towards self-improvement. Â
And ever since then, Mydei hasn't turned back.
While the smell of sweat never really leaves Mydei, thereâs also another scent that clings to him like fire. Itâs tangy, spicyâ like nutmeg and saffron mixed together, but not quite. Underneath those fragrance notes is a tarty scent that reminds you of the lingering aftertaste of pomegranate juice coated with citrus. It's something you don't really get to smell very often unless you're around him. Because itâs his.
Mydei has a distinct smell, yes, but you are the only person he will let close enough to play with his hair whenever you want.
Mydeiâs scalp is sensitive. Donât tug or pull on his hair too much, even if youâre only trying to comb out a knot in his hair. Mydei becomes slightly more reactive when it comes to do with anything involving his hair, and he sees you pulling at it as a means to try and rile him up. But if thatâs your intentionâ trust me. It works.
He likes it when people play with his hair, and yet, only a few people have ever really touched it. If you so desire, heâll even let you play with his hair in public... With exception. He still has an image to upkeep as the crown prince of Kremnos, after all. But if Mydei is in a down or bad mood, let Mydei collapse into your arms. Then, run your fingernails through his hair, and let them lightly graze his scalp. He will melt.
Please tie up his hair. Please braid it. Please touch it!
Sniff his hair, and he might just die. While he wonât say anything about it, he will shoot you a look if you try it again. But thereâs a noticeable pink hue now dusting his cheeks, one that would only continue to bloom and saturate in colour should your attempts persist. So please, be kind to him.
OH, TO BE IN LOVE! âŞ
Kate Bush is currently playing...
What are their love languages?
Featuring... Phainon, Anaxa, and Mydei!
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Hi guys :D This is my first official writing debut on Tumblr wow?! This took me a while to write, but I'm glad to finally get it done! I hope to make this a mini-series or something lol so feel free to req charas in my asks or with other prompts hehe, I'd really appreciate it! <3
Phainon
Quality Time. Are you kidding me?
Noâ he's not the type of guy to believe in things such as love at first sight. That's what he's always told himself, until he first met you.
Phainon was always undeterred no matter what the Flame-Chase Journey sent his way. Endless trials and ordeals simply came with the role of being the Deliverer, that much he had learned. But a job like his also came with more worldly, mundane responsibilities that laid a notch below fighting the everlasting onslaught of the Black Tide.
Phainon was good with his words. He's always had a natural wit and charm about him that he carried as effortlessly as breathing air. But it's not like he wasn't aware of his effect on others. It's exactly because he's so aware, that it amplified his ability to meditate conflict and settle disputes and between the residents of Okhema tenfold.
Phainon's princely, boyish nature was the main reason as to why he was so popular among the people. But being popular also came with the problem of having people interested.
Phainon had no time for love. He was a hero. One that had to deal with the burden of his world's weight on his shoulders at every waking moment. Phainon never could truly let his guard down, and at the same time, he was tackling a lot of issues that only he would ever know about. That was how he had always lived, after all.
Fighting. Losing. Failing.
So how is it, that Phainon had fallen in love?
He had felt bad about shooting down people's advances before. Even those that he felt he could reciprocate their feelings a little, he had managed to turn down. And yet, the feeling in his chest everytime he saw you? It had been that way since the day you first met, but he was quick to brush it off. But then, you two met again. And again. And again.
To no one's surprise, Phainon falls quickly.
Dealing with the strife of war and the pain of loneliness on top of a destiny as harrowing as hisâ left him with a chasm in his heart that led him yearning for connection. For understanding. For his desires to be fulfilled and intimacy. To be wanted.
Phainon is painfully self-aware. But, at the same time, he's also someone who takes action. He's quick to befriend you, and if you let him, you two will slowly start to spend time togetherâ not on the grounds for anything else but spending time together, of course. Phainon has no ulterior motives, not yet.
It'll start off as menial chats, ones that could easily be passed off for small talk. Then, it'll slowly turn into banter. The kind you make when you don't know someone very well yet, but you can tell there's a spark there. And as you slowly grow more comfortable with each other, your conversations turn from minutes to hours. From up to chance to daily. From guarded and shallow, to philosophical and raw.
No matter how long it's been since you've seen him, Phainon always came back with something new to tell. Anecdotes about his day, musings he wants to share with you, maybe even the occasional insight into his past. And yet, it always seems like a small part of his mind is always somewhere else. You think it could be his hometown he sometimes speaks about, Aedes Elysiae, that he wishes he could bring you to.
There are layers to Phainon. A depth to him that remains unseen from the surface. He puts up a meticulous front, one that makes him seem like an indestructible man with grit, capable of taking on any adversary that comes his way and come out unscathed. He could be the hero and saviour that everyone needed if it meant he could save Okhema and avenge every life stolen.
But he was only a human.
Even if he struggled to accept his own flaws, the company you provided him grew to become enough to ease him into a quiet acceptance. One that helped him drown out those negative thoughts every time they came back. One that gave him another reason to never lose sight of what he had always believed in.
One that reminded him, it was okay to be vulnerable. That it was okay to slow down and be uncertain. And that maybe, he deserves to be loved too.
Time spent with you isn't just a pastime to him. Even in utmost silence, even in loud, boisterous moments, Phainon will always choose you. In times of ups and downs, he's loyal to a fault, and the one way he will always prefer to show it is by being able to stay at your side as much as he can.
If you choose to want him in your life, please excuse him if he gets way too excited being in your presence all the sudden. Or if he tries to keep you to himself for hours, only to end up falling asleep in your lap after chatting for so long. You should also expect a lot of puppy dog eying from him every time you try to go anywhere without him while you're hanging out or if things don't go his way.
Will you take him later to that new antique stall at the markets he said he wanted to go to?
Anaxa
Words of Affirmation.
Anaxagoras is an impassive man. It should come as no surprise that his every deduction is backed up by logic and his comprehensive expanse of knowledge.
No, it's not that Anaxa is incapable of feeling emotion. But Anaxa's life journey has always been dedicated to studying alchemy; understanding the soul and its properties, and how to reverse engineer the very composition of life itself. Quite literally, his mind is always focused on the matter of pursuing the truth of life.
So, unless you're also someone who shares a major interest in the topics of study by the Nousporists, please take no offense when I say Anaxa is probably not going to take much notice of you initially.
Anaxa has always been a hot topic. His insistence on being referred to as Anaxagoras, his unusual manner of speech and cadence and arrogant demeanour. Anaxa is renowned for his oddity, and yet the respect and reverence that is tethered to his name is not something that can be overlooked. Because despite his eccentric nature, Anaxa has a tenacious desire to understand the world around him. One so insatiable; that he has always succeeded in.
Well⌠At the cost of his social skills.
Noâ it's not that Anaxa doesn't feel emotions. It's just that anytime he talks to someone who isn't either his students, mentors, or other like-minded people, his sharp tongue gets even worse. Anaxa does not like people who hold minimal regard for the structure of the world and won't question anything at the expense of maintaining their own belief system. And trust me, he really has no qualms when it comes to disproving someoneâs beliefs should it be for their own enlightenment.
So; what's so different about you?
Well, if there's one thing he's noticed, he feels different around you. Not in a good way.
Every time he steps into your vicinity, he feels a sudden tightness in his chest. And when he manages to catch your attention, his guts suddenly feel like theyâre twisting into all sorts of formations. He even notes increased perspiration forming on his skin, causing his palms to go clammy and his notable steely focus to waver.
Whatever this strange affliction was, he had only started happening around you. And after the first time, he was already head-deep in scrolls at the Grove as he tried to figure out what was going on.
Well, he had an inkling on what was happening anyways. But as a scholar, he wouldn't jump to any conclusions until he had every plausible piece of information at his disposal.
So, when all the pieces set into place, what was his reaction?
...Love?
No. Anaxa could feel emotion, and he knew that very well. But he's uncertain if this is the most definite answer. He knows he is capable of love, considering how much he cares for his sister. But romantic love? He's a scholar, an educator, and demi-god. Apart from having all those responsibilities, he really isn't interested in pursuing a relationship. Besides, romantic interests directly conflict with his lifelong purpose.
Here's a tip: refer to him by Anaxagoras, and he'll warm up to you a lot faster.
Now, the biggest hurdle to overcome when it comes to Anaxa is trying to wiggle your way into his life. After that, itâs trying to get him to accept you into it.There's a myriad of ways this could happen, but the most likely main denominator is by slow burn. Anaxa does not fall fast. You will have to be patient for him and wait for him to recognise the signs and watch his every moveâ because his responses are subtle.
And when you do, youâll be rewarded by discovering a side of Anaxa that he seldom shows.
Yes. Anaxa is kind. He is an unusual man, with unconventional methods of doing things. And while he doesn't like to overtly display his fondness for you, he makes do with the little things.
We all know well that Anaxa is one to speak his mind freely, and around you, that fact is no different. However, due to Anaxa's growing affection for you, should you ever mention things to him that were to warrant guidance from him, Anaxa will always spare words of wisdom or insight. Bided time or not, as a teacher, it is in Anaxaâs duty to extend knowledge to everyone he can reach. Yes, that includes you too.
The man is a diagnosed yapper. If you donât let him talk your ear off, heâll slip away in a blink of an eye. So; listen to him or learn how to admire him while looking like youâre listening.
Another tip: provide him with stimulating conversation. Are you a yapper too? Well. Just maybe, itâs fate! Try getting a little smart with him too if you want. Just keep that for private moments, because trust me, he will always level your attitude. And donât act too idiotic. If youâre a listener, thatâs okay too. Just donât interrupt him until heâs done talking, otherwise he will get snappy.
As you slowly start to grow even more close to him, Anaxa will continue to offer you much needed advice and enlightening philosophical debates and discussion. And when he starts to feel more comfortable around you, his partiality towards you grows even more pronounced. If a certain snowy-haired student were to ask Anaxa if heâs taken a liking to anyone recently, he would first reprimand the asker for prying into his personal life, before answering the question afterwards calmly with your name.
Anaxa speaks highly of you whether youâre present or not. You can bet that if someone talks ill about you while he's around, he will be quick to shoot a side-eye towards that person and will speak to them only through thinly veiled hostile remarks until they leave. No, Anaxa is not being too irrational, heâd say if you caught wind of this. They were talking poorly about you. His passive-aggression is unremarkable, in comparison to how he can be when he doesnât hold back.
Anaxa is a very well-spoken and confident man, and he's also good at magnifying your strengths to people who may not understand you like he does. If someone brings up your flaws, he's already prepared to immediately shut down their entire argument. When you and Anaxa are later in private, you might be surprised for Anaxa to suddenly drop a compliment. And if you ask him to repeat what he just said, he'll quickly change topics or shift his attention elsewhere.
Is Anaxa capable of getting flustered? Thatâs up to you to decide.
Subtlety is key in Anaxa's love. He needs quiet moments more than other people, albeit his desire for reclusiveness can be a bit excessive at times. Simply pull him out of his shell every once and in a while and remind him to breathe. Your presence is grounding enough for him whether heâll ever admit it, and he finds that itâs easiest to appreciate you through his own little covert acts of gratitude.
Anaxagoras is a man of truth. He only opposes the unconstitutional belief in the Titans as he wishes for humanity to take back their agency and defy the prophecy. He's not heartless, no matter how chiding he can be. And it is difficult to win a spot in a life of a man as lofty and standoffish as Anaxa.
Soâ if you do win that position, be glad. And please love and appreciate him, blasphemy and all.
Mydei
Now this one? This guy is such a green flag, that he's a little bit of everything. He likes to give compliments, he likes to get handsy sometimes, and he likes spending time with his loved ones.
But I'm going to say Acts of Service.
Mydei, at his heart, is surprisingly quite the romantic. The crown prince of Castum Kremnosâ it might be a little hard to believe, but itâs true. Mydei may have a hardened disposition and proclivity for speaking in a clipped tone, but underneath all those abrasive layers lies pure, untouched gold. Literally.
Mydeiâs plight and turmoil is so unfathomable and grand in scale that it cannot be comprehended by the average mortal. And yet, what choice this undying, ineffable man continues to make is even more puzzling than his past shrouded in mystery.
Gentleness.
Mydei is gentle. He cares, and he will always be frank and upfront about what he thinks. No matter how brief or pointed his words may be, Mydei always carries himself with a rigid air of dignity and power. Considering his Kremnosâ heritage, Mydeiâs assertive nature is derived highly by that and his own brutal upbringing.
And yet; it is exactly because of his troubled upbringing that Mydei likes food. Nutrition is important to keep your body healthy and in tip-top shape, after all. As a child, being raised in the Sea of Souls left him severely malnourished and his body brittle as bones. But nowadays, for a warrior like Mydei, his biggest priority was keeping up his physique in the best condition possible, which also required a sufficient intake of food daily to maintain. Therefore, when heâs not attending to duties, you will probably see Mydei busying himself with a biteful of something in his mouth.
How highly Mydei sees food extends into his own ability to cook. Since nourishment is such an integral skill to him, those expectations extand out to others around him as well. So, while you might not see him around the stove thatoften, rest assured that Mydeiâs cooking is good. It could honestly even be considered a delicacy if you asked, since heâd be willing to cook you a Kremonan meal if you asked.
Ah. You.
Mydei was raised into a cycle of violence. One that he himself has never been able to truly break free from the shackles of. However, in saying that, that does not mean Mydei treats others with the same attitudes thrown at him during his life. And while he could be seen as a stoic, menacing man, Mydei chooses integrity above all. And he certainly appreciates people who share that same sentiment. Â
Thatâs how he falls for you.
Mydei is surprisingly quite the romantic. But not in the natural sense. Heâs not charming and domestic like Phainon, or a sardonic erudite like Anaxa. Mydei is open, curt, and operates in a way that he expects others to reciprocate. But when people donât, Mydei doesnât let disappointment or burden tie him down. Mydei was a warrior, and so long as he was kicking, he would always get back up. He had nothing to worry about with his resilience and utmost confidence in his abilities.
A man so mature and capable, and yet; the moment you enter his life, he canât help but begin to dote on you.
Maybe itâs because nobody cared for him before. With all the tragedies heâs been through, Mydei finds his peace in mundanity. Trivial things, that wonât matter in the long run against his constant battle against strife. Something that made his chest stir, in a way that felt almost foreign to him, and led to him cooking for others. And then, he starts to cook for you.
Small meals, big meals, snacks. Anything you want. He just wants to make sure you eat well. While Mydei might not share any intentionally âflirtyâ words of affirmation or physical affection towards you, Mydeiâs actions speak louder than any words.
He can tell when youâre sick before you even realise youâre sick. And then, youâre getting thrown over his shoulder like a potato sack should you try and dismiss his concerns and immediately being taken somewhere private. Mydei would not tolerate his favourite person being sick of all things and working, of all things considered. When you had a luxury of such a ordinary life, why would you work when he could just take care of you?
âŚ
Favourite person? Donât tell him he said that out loud. Heâll tell you thereâs no such thing in the Kremnoan language.
Heâll fix your bed before tucking you in and stick down a spoon full of chicken noodle soup down your throat should it mean you know that he cares. Even if he has duties on that day, heâll pop in and out of your room and check up on you when he can, even outmanoeuvring Aglaeaâs orders so that he ends up by your bedside and nurses you back into good health until you get better.
If you need anything, you might be surprised at just how eager the prince seems to fulfill your any whim. Should you let him, he wouldnât be against doing your laundry or cleaning your residence of choice as well. Do note, that he will take back any clothing youâve stolen from him during this time though.
Mydei is a survivalist. And he is also intense. In an ideal world, Mydei is most likely to fall for someone who is just as enamoured with him as he is with them. Someone who isnât turned away even by the ugly, solemn parts of his life. Someone who can look past his reservations and recognise Mydei for the indomitable fighter he is and remind him that he can be loved too.
And in turn, he will provide you with his undying devotion. Mydei worships you despite the blazing inferno heâs trapped in. Regardless of the cruel destiny imposed on him, the respite you bring to his days remind him every day to uphold his unwavering strength and continue to fight for the valour of Kremnos, and the people of Okhema.
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