fantasy.

       Ava contemplated telling her but decided against it, not wanting to be even more of a downer than her overall long day. “Depressingly long day with my own stresses thrown into the mix.” She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I’ll be okay. Thank you.” 

And there it was, her bright smile. It looked the most genuine he’s ever seen, too. He hasn’t even gotten hold of any book but he was already loving his decision. Proud of himself, even more. He couldn’t wait to tell Bethany, his sister, pretty much the only sibling who’d relate to him once he announces what he did today. Warren smiled even more that looking happy became an understatement. “I can choose the snacks too? Just how many good things am I getting out of this?” He chuckled. “When are we starting? I put my cell there but that’s my business number. I can give you my personal so I can see your text right away. That alright?”

When her smile was returned in bucketfuls, Loo’s only widened and brightened. She laughed, a mixture of a giggle and something louder, when he mentioned the snacks. “Quite a few, by the looks of it. Free books, choice of snacks, a chance to make fun of me when I spaz out over the books — you’ve got it all!” Her head tilted in thought, but her smile didn’t falter. It rarely did around Warren. “I dunno. I mean, we’re the only ones signed up right now, but we could… start a little —” Her smile faded a bit when she lost her train of thought. She hated this; stopping mid-sentence, stuttering until she found her words again. Especially around Warren, someone she desperately loved talking to. “I… I mean, we could start a little… what’s the word?” He brows furrowed in anger with herself before she relaxed, finding the words again. “Early! We could start early, if you want. Just you and me?”

nodding his head the male swallowed hard. somehow he was mentally kicking himself in the teeth. he was never a true people person, never really advanced in social settings. he was best when left alone or off in a corner somewhere. the only way he knew how to truly engage with another is if things tended to be work related, but somehow the woman before him made him feel like an ass. and just maybe that’s exactly what he was. he considered saying nothing else, but felt that the awkward silence left behind would make things worse. “—understandable. i apologize.”

loo’s heart was racing, and she felt terrified. she tried to think of something calming, like her psychiatrist had told her to, but the image of her father screaming and bounding towards her weren’t going away. after his apology she found herself speaking in a quiet and almost shaky voice before she could stop herself. “why’d you yell?” she glanced up from her book to see the man looked sorry, but it didn’t stop her from being careful around him. “i talk a lot, too much, i know i do, but you didn’t have to yell.”

   “No! I’m just buzzed and feeling sorry for myself.” She chuckled dryly. “Please, sit.” 

“see, for someone who doesn’t have much to say you’re lips sure can’t help but move faster than ninety miles per.” the sarcasm was practically illuminating off of the brawny male, and yet nothing could shake that stone faced expression of his. “so are you going to tell me what you really want or are we going to play this tit for tat thing?”

loo cringed away from him immediately, tensing noticeably. she even winced a little, and she picked up the book she had been reading before she’d gotten distracted by a new face. looking as if she had just been physically hit, loo opened her book back up and sat back down from where she’d stood to talk to him. “nothing,” she said quietly, trying to avoid his gaze. “i didn’t want anything. and i certainly don’t want anything now.”

    “ No, um… seat’s not taken. Not anymore. ” 

No matter how over-enthusiastic she gets, Warren never once thought she was too much. Nor that she’ll ever be too much. His generation thinks apathy is a cool thing —they forget that there’s something much more satisfying in hanging out with someone who isn’t afraid of showing emotions. “Are you sure? I swear, Loo, I could take forever to finish it. But…” He bit his lip, thinking it over. The gears in his mind started running, mentally scanning his schedule for that week. It wouldn’t hurt to try, would it? And looking at Loo, it broke Warren’s heart to imagine the look on her face if he turned it down. Taking the pen, he shook his head as he smiled and signed his name. He gave the list back to Loo and said, “Can I at least choose a genre? A… general fiction?”

Loo’s eyes met his, as they always did, and she was once again shocked at how she didn’t cringe away at the eye contact. “Yeah, of course I’m sure. Wouldn’t be a point without you there.” Her blatant honesty never seemed strange to her, even though people often told her to hold more back and choose what she said carefully; she just couldn’t find the time. She feared for a few moments that he would reject her offer, and she knew if he did she would undoubtedly throw the empty list away and never mention it again to anybody. It never took much to take Loo to a dark place --- but it took even less to take her to a high place, which was where she went when Warren agreed and signed his name. “’Course you can! You can even choose the snacks if it means you’ll show up.”

He continues to beam at her as she replies. She sort of reminded him of someone he once knew but had lost track of some time ago. He can see the pride with which she looks over the paper and almost feels guilty for his suggestion. He clears his throat, shaking his head quickly. “Nope. Not at all. It’s perfect just the way it is– I guess I more meant– keeping an electronic copy and you know, advertising it so we could gather more members.” He explains awkwardly, knowing he must sound like a total idiot. He offers her another wary smile.

 “Can’t have a book club with just the two of us, right?” He suggests hopefully.

She bites her lip again, scanning him as if she's deciding whether he was a good person or not ---- as if looking at someone could determine that. But Loo was never, ever one for logic; how boring. "Ooh, I see," she said, looking back down at her meager sheet. "That's okay, then. S'long as you're not... what's the word? Um..." She sniffed dryly, embarrassed at her own loss of words. "Oh! I know. Judging me. As long as you’re not judging me."

“ well, i will agree with you there. first impressions are everything. yet given what i do processionally, i’ve never had much of the advantage to consider things to be just black and white. oneway or the other it would come across as me failing to do some due diligence. but that true colors bit, isn’t it funny how they mange to show themselves just when you think you’ve figured someone out?”

"i could never do what you do, then. i could never see the world for all its shadows without looking at the light ---- like, for instance, seeing someone for a criminal and not a person, yknow? i always only see the good in people. people say it's my weakness." she pauses, musing over her mangled thoughts before forcing them out, and her eyes cloaked over a little. "yeah, it is. it's like they know if they continue to lie about who they are to you... i don't know. they take it to the last minute, i guess. sorry, i'm probably not making any sense..."

“ to be honest, i’m not sure if i can help with that one but i do know that most people use book club as an excuse to drink wine and gossip about their shit lives.” the brunette laughs at the thought. “but i will say, that if you are successful in getting a book club off the ground that does not feature alcohol the first starring book will have to be more than exciting and far from trash writing like that fifty shade of crap.”

thinking to herself, the offer itself didn’t sound so bad. not that she had much time to herself these days, the idea of reading a book and sharing some interesting concepts with a group did not sound too bad. “i’m considering it. so take that as a maybe. but i love the idea, something that has much promise.”

"oh no, no alcohol! i can't have alcohol," she said, the last bit completely unintentionally falling from her lips as an afterthought. most things she said did that. "and yes! only exciting, no fifty shades," she confirmed, nodding once. "i'm more of a fantasy girl, myself. probably pack the list with lord of the rings, or outlander or --- or --- i dunno. lotsa stuff..." she trailed off as her thoughts mangled, giving herself time to reglue them back together.  

 a smile came back into her round, bright face as the 'maybe' was promised. "that's all i need," she said. "but there's no 'maybe' column on the paper... should i make one for you? that way there's no commitment until you know it's good, but i don't lose your name."

He watches her intently as she chatters on and on about starting a book club. He’s already decided that he’s down to join before she can even ask. As she finishes, he lets out a light chuckle. He shakes his head, “I mean– when you put it that, how can I turn you down?” He agrees, furrowing his brows at her. 

He watches her pass over what he can only assume is a sign up sheet. He pulls it forward and takes the pen, signing it quickly before shoving it back toward her. “There– first official member– and hey, if you want to upgrade the sign up sheet I’m more than willing to help. And you know– spread the word.”

Loo double-looks the man in front of her, having not properly looked him over until then. Her mind shut down just a little at the sight of a man she didn’t know, and her smile threatened to falter. But he was being quite nice, and so she glanced up at him again and nodded. “S’pose you can’t. I can be quite convincing.”