404 SYSTEM ERROR

"you're a sick individual" actually i'm part of a sick union. there's quite a few of us i'm afraid.

me completely by myself in my room: alright everybody just calm down

I actually passed away quite a few years ago, but I'm a very private person and never told anybody.

The girls (two aspects of my personality that are so antithetical I don't even know how they coexist in the same person) are fighting again

Alters having negative triggers is really such an ironically remarkable concept in a vacuum. I can't handle the grocery store today so lemme patch in Overstimulation Steve, who has a meltdown when they get overstimulated

trauma so bad my coping mechanisms have names and pronouns

im probably plural but i got a job rn so don't have time to worry abt that

we*

you've heard "royal we", get ready for "plural me"

What the hell!!! Where am I

Turns out i was in my house <3 I'm okay

yes i contain multitudes but i can't remember half of them for shit

can you hc a character with DID and make yourself one of their alters or is this some sort of evil crime because this idea came 2 me randomly and its really funny to me

New funniest way to do a self-insert dropped

No one actually knows where my decisions come from, or who makes them for me

@funnier-as-a-system

just woke up from a dream in which “having a two year old alter” was such a common identity facet among the general public that you could buy like mugs and gift bags etc related to this at any walmart or target

bumper sticker reading “watch out: i’m letting this fucker drive!” alongside the universally understood symbol for two year old alter

keep getting glimpses into an alternate timeline where plurality is more normalized and you can buy shitty tshirts and mugs about it

Of course I contradict myself. I contain multitudes [suddenly getting defensive] But not in a plural way. I’m not plural [trying not to seem ableist] Not that there’s anything wrong with that [three year old alter takes over] Abaa, lalala,