Lone Wolf Saga

"haunting the narrative" is one of those phrases i wanna put up on a shelf. not all characters that are dead haunt the narrative. not all characters that are dead haunt the narrative. not all characters that haunt the narrative are dead.

a character who haunts the narrative is a character whose presence in the story itself is sparse to none (!!!!!) but whose actions have major consequences to the story and help to build the theme of the work (!!!!!!!!!) if blorbo blingus doesnt tick both these boxes then im sorry. they are not haunting the narrative. they just died.

#if the story cannot work without them but also cannot work if they’re present/alive? They might just be haunting the narrative (via @passerparvus)

i think the key to being a successful classroom teacher is having an ordinary classroom material (eg pen, highlighter, book) but in a really and truly ridiculous size and using it regularly without comment. nothing both throws off and enchants a student of any age than more than walking up to your desk to ask you a question and pausing with baffled uncertainty as they see you grading papers with a pen so large you cannot actually hold it the way you would normally hold a writing utensil. there is a brief moment as they look at you where you are able to raise an eyebrow and go "yes?" while acting like absolutely nothing is odd about the fact that you are currently writing with a multicolor my little pony pen that is half the girth of your forearm and in that moment you hold the most power in the entire school. use it wisely

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

i'm crying because soap lung rash from asmr is exactly the kind of insane medical diagnosis this show would have. i can see the crappy cgi zoom in on her hair follicles (in 2024 the cgi would still be 2004 cgi). you nailed it

rawing people on couches is so hard yet most of my ideas involve that

DRAWING

I MEANT DRAWING PEOPLE ON COUCHES

wow this post still going around huh

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it