a little bit country

Howdy kiddos! I’m offering SICK deals on promos, sidebars, and dash icons! My state has been on lockdown for about a MONTH and will be til the end of THIS month– possibly longer. Which means I’m not WORKIN.

SO. If you’re interested in some neat roleplay graphics– hit me up! You can reach out to me via IMs and tell me what you’re looking for. Then I’ll throw a quote your way and get started on the mock up. You can let me know if you want anything changed– and I’ll adjust it accordingly before doing the final graphic.

Payment will be done through PayPal [LINK] and is due before the graphic is completed.

SAMPLES BELOW!

“So if you’re done, I’ll be getting my clothes now.”

“Think of this as a lifetime opportunity, because it’s never happening again.”

“That can’t seriously be it…”

“Is asking for cuddles afterwards really too much for you?”

“Well, that was awkward and inadequate. But you get an A for effort I guess…”

“Come on don’t fall asleep, let’s go for round four.”

“Oh I see what the problem is… you think this is something other than casual sex.”

“You know where the door is, you can lead yourself out. And pick up your pants.”

“Wow, you’re a lot more attractive when you don’t open your mouth.”

“So I didn’t actually have a condom at hand but I was really horny and you were hurrying me-”

“Look, I’m not saying you need to be loud next time but no one likes a silent starfish.”

“Warn me next time you try a weird idea like that so I can at least brace myself.”

“These handcuffs are pinching my skin, can you take them the fuck off?”

“Well that was fun, right? … Hey, come on, turn that frown upside down.”

“That name you called out during sex better have been a fucking safe word.”

“So here’s my number. And I’ll text you if I ever need a booty call.”

“Are you trying to pay me for the sex we had?”

“Of course I caught your name, it was… say, how about I fetch us some water?”

“Well maybe if you had higher standards, you wouldn’t be complaining about spreading your legs for me.”

“Get off, my legs are falling asleep.”

“Don’t tell a single fucking soul this happened, or else.”

“Yeah I heard what you said, was just texting my friend that I got laid.”

“You wouldn’t be mad if I posted your o-face on instagram, would you?”

“Listen, we can both bicker about who’s the bigger asshole or I can bury my cock in yours again. Sound fair?”

“I can’t fucking believe this, to think that I slept with such a neanderthal-”

“I think your neighbors heard the whole thing…”

“Don’t tell me you pulled that out of a cosmo sex tip.”

“Please don’t… spank me next time…”

“Wait, you thought you were my first time?”

“You can leave now. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

“Look, you kept rubbing my feet and it was kind of creeping me out.”

“I think I need a long shower now… along with some self reflection…”

Argh, this is so frustrating. Y'see, this is what I don’t get about you bad guys. You know the hero’s gonna win, but you just don’t die quickly. Example: this one guy in New Haven, right? City’s burning, people are dying left and right, yadda yadda yadda. This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A fricking spoon! And I’m dying laughing, right? So I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it, and his kids are all, waaahh!, and, he can’t see where he’s going, he’s bumping in to stuff, and ah… I don’t know, maybe you had to be there. The moral is: you’re a total bitch.