The art of subtle insults in disguise of “being real”
I want yall to be rlly honest w me and tell me what yall truly think abt this situation.
So it’s no secret that I’m an insecure loser who has all but two actual friends…(maybe just one idek it’s kinda complicated) well obviously bc of this im not out here throwing on my best fit everyday and getting all dolled up on a day to day. Trust me i would loveeeee to be the type of girl that gets ready everyday and look good, but i dont bc im insecure. Most days i let my hair down, wear a basic outfit from a rotation of outfits i have, and maybe do my makeup; depending on how im feeling.
But I’m also not walking around in pjs everyday w gross hair and yk, like I try to look presentable and put together. I just don’t like superrrrr good if that makes sense.
Anyways besides the point, one day I was shopping w my two friends, lily and Lexi. We were out shopping, having fun etc. During rhat time in my life I was kinda down, so I was glad that I was hanging out w them bc I was having a good time and I was feeling good abt myself. I think I had even put on a better outfit than usual that day. Not my BEST but I stepped it up a little. We were at Ross so naturally we went to the clothes and we started browsing. I picked up a few things and so did they. At one point Lily picks up a top and says, “I need to see you in more clothes like this.” And then she follows up by saying something like: “Leilani, you need to step it up.”
Lexi joins and says, “that’s what I’ve been telling her.” She turns to me and says, “it’s time we step it up.”
I was confused and asked what they meant by that. They explained to me that I need to start dressing differently and put effort into my looks. Mostly they were focused on telling me that I need to dress better.
I know that they probably meant this out of good intentions, but honestly it’s kind of offensive. Like I mentioned earlier I don’t get superrrrr dressed up everyday, but yk I wear pretty good clothes. I put myself together. But they just kept talking abt how I need to do my hair, my makeup, and dress differently, and ofc “step it up.”
Another time during prom, we were abt to leave so we all put on our dresses. I naturally was the last one to put mine on and I walked into my friend room, w my dress, my hair done and makeup done and they kept saying that they had never seen me like this. They weren’t telling me they liked my dress, my makeup, that I looked good; they weren’t telling talking abt how they have NEVERRR seen me like that. Another friend that was there said, “damnnn, yall are just saying that yall have never seen her look out together or good.” “As if she never puts herself together”
A separate time they said I was LOWKEYYY tea…
Another time I had worn one of my better outfits and my friend had mentioned something like “is that why u kind of dressed up TODAY??” I don’t remember the context of this convo and now that I’m writing it down I think she was rlly asking and not making a diss or anything.
Idk they just seem to always talk abt how I need to better my looks and all of the things that I can do to better myself. When they talk like this it sounds like they want to just completely change me. And yes I feel like they are just wanting me to put more effort into myself and yk look out for me. (Like a makeover montage in a movie) but I can’t lie, it does hurt cause it’s just like damn so yall think I don’t look good.
It hurts especially bc I already have self esteem issues and stuff like that, and bc I’ve already changed myself SO MUCH over the past year alone, it’s like damn how much more do yall want. It like i can never reach their standard.
