Feelings Unknown

"Wow, Halloween City, did you run out of racist costume ideas this year or what? The costume called "Anna Rexia" was brought to my attention and I think it is rather despicable of you to carry it in your stores. Anorexia is a horrible disorder that kills people, and you had this costume in your TEEN section! This is sick. You need to remove it immediately from all stores." 

Hippos are, like…real, living land whales. It’s been genetically proven that their closest relatives are NOT pigs as was once believed, but whales! Hippos even make whistles and clicks underwater to communicate as well as help them “see” in murky waters. 

They also have some incredibly thick skin that is extremely difficult to cut, and when they do get injured their skin secretes a special fluid that acts like a natural antibiotic ointment that prevents infections and speeds up the healing process. And this fluid turns blood red when it meets the air, so it looks pretty badass, too.

Also, the bones in their limbs are SOLID. There is no marrow, no hollow space, they are 100% BONE, MOTHERFUCKER. It helps weigh them down in the water so they can more easily submerge, and it helps support their weight on land. These bones can withstand the impact of a running hippo, and they aren’t slow, either!

Hippos are also responsible for more human deaths annually than crocodiles or other predators like lions and so on. Because they don’t take no shit, bro.