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You never realize how insecure your house is until you break in it because you locked your keys inside.

How long does someone have to be dead before it’s considered archeology instead of grave robbing?

as an archaeologist, i find this a veRY AWKWARD QUESTION

answer the question grave robber

if you lose your voice, theres a swedish saying that goes “jag har en tupp i halsen” which translates to “i have a cock in my throat”

Voice actors’ kids must get the best bedtime stories

Kim Jong Un is probably the biggest threat to world peace but if you type “Kim” in Google…Kim Kardashian still comes up first.

“Can I help you?” is about the nicest way to say “What the fuck are you doing here?”