rambling onwards

Th i

I shared this on Facebook and my high school guidance counselor (who was in charge of all the gifted kids) replied “So true.”

the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love

the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities

the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, either you’re inadequate or they’re too needy

the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else

the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity

the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship

the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on

the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life

My brain: Well see it raises my anxiety levels enough to cut through the lead blanket of apathy into which years of perfectionism and a paralytic fear of failure have congealed, allowing me to actually do things. 

By the time you read this, I’ll be dead. This is how I think it’s gonna happen: Dave will shoot me, then I’ll shoot Dave, then Eric will enter and get shot by Dave. Then, you’ll come in and get shot by Eric, Dave, and I multiple times.

Love, your brother Keith.