Conducting My Experiments

If you were really my friend you’d do this highly unethical experimental surgery on me

WHY is there a huge exspolion ebery time i cut an atom in half. is it me? am i th prabelm?

bitches hate me because of my.... bad personality.... paranoid nature... addictive tendencies......the torture basement.

Uranium-235 is a kind of girl that can hurt you but she doesn’t mean to! And she’s so sorry

"You just need to open up more" already did. #vivisection

hey babygirl, want to come back to my place and I'll inject you with this totally safe, definitely not toxic, chemical substance?

sometimes my irl job makes me feel like i work at the Evil Science Centre... oh sorry i can't hang out i have to go Defrost the opossum! yeah lol sorry busy Stripping Bones of their Flesh! sorry if i smell weird, thats just The Goop!

turning evil. im sick of this shit get me a lab coat, im putting "crazy evil scientist" in my bio

what you don’t know is!! that I’ve placed a small rat in a cage in your office, he has food, water, a small blanket and a piece of cheese, please take care of him, he is yours now

I can be trusted with a rat. Do not look at my username. Give me the rat.

what do you mean i'm scaring the hoes?? all i did was unleash The Plague™

the evil scientist doesn't know I'm stealing a second serving of General Nutrition Sludge :3

What the fuck. Get back here!

It has come to my attention that a band of knaves and foolish backwards thinkers are approaching my lab with pitchforks and torches. All this commotion because I ALLEGEDLY stole body parts from the cemetery to make The Table That Follows You and its soon to be companion: The Chair That Follows You And Can Hold Your Drink (it's mostly made of hands). Little do they know, my doorbell is rigged to a trapdoor that will drop them into a pit of green ooze mutating them forevermore into horrible little homunculi gremlins.