Llewellyn

Apologies in advance if I disappear for a few weeks at a time, I’m just a stressed out college student🧟‍♀️

The sun shines brighter, warming our skin as we approach the crossroads tree. Here the trail splits in different directions, it can be difficult to navigate this area if you don’t come frequently as it is quite overgrown. Thankfully, we journey to our flower fields every day. The trees become sparse as we continue down the trails. Wildflowers begin to saturate the green grass ground as we arrive. As we walk through the flower field we began planting years ago, we pick flowers and carefully place them in baskets. We try to pick the most vibrant, beautiful flowers for tomorrow, we will restock our farm shop.

Now a days most living things were trying to do just that, live. I spent most of my waking hours foraging for food, berries and other herbs that maybe used for medicine. I care for the stray cats and other animals I see around my small cabin. I cook the food I find and I mash the berries and herbs into my vials for medicinal use. I've simply survived since the night of rack and ruin. However, I crave more...

• as I meandered around town today with my cat companion, Bellatrix, I noticed an unusual airiness about us. It almost felt as though we were floating along the long eerie streets. The wind would blow, and we blew with it. As we walked into shops and passed food stands, nobody paid us any mind. It was almost as though we didn’t actually exist. Bellatrix meowed at every living thing she could hoping for a response to no avail. We continued our trip throughout town, making our weekly stop at the mysterious fortune teller at the edge of town. Not many people would come out to the edge of town, it’s quite abandoned and broken down, but Bellatrix and I happily made the trip. Walking into the fortune tellers shop, I almost expected to brushed off like we had been on our way here. However, Ms. Guinevere, the fortune teller, immediately greeted us but with a very concerned look. Nothing could have prepared Bellatrix and I for the fortune we were about to receive.

•My oversized, bent and boney feet slapped against the cement as I made my way through the cluttered city streets. With each step I watched as my shaky knees raised up taller than the few trees planted within the cement sidewalk. I saw the faces below me twist with confusion and fear as I passed by. Getting through the city building doors was like a game of limbo for me. Eventually, I found myself in a room of peers and felt more monstrous than ever. I sat on the cold floor uncomfortably as everyone chattered to each other. Watching them socialize felt isolating. A few people caught me staring as I watched their faces light up which would soon be shifted to an unsettled expression gazing upon me. As the minutes crept on, my droopy ears began tuning out the chattering sounds of peers. Every once and awhile I would hear a giggle or catch someone’s eyes. I’ve never felt as disgustingly and disappointingly monstrous as I do in a room of peers.

Today I stepped out of my sturdy but creaky old wooden cabin to head into town. The sun cascaded through the trees softly and danced warmly upon my skin. The wind blew briskly causing me to shiver slightly as my torn stained boots crunched the fallen leaves. Luckily, my stretched black knitted sweater and pants were enough to keep me warm in the crisp conditions. As I approached the center of town, I began seeing pumpkin and jack-o-lantern decorations all around. I stopped by as many pop up shops as possible to see if anything peaked my interest. One shop, owned by a ghostly old woman dressed in shades of orange with long glowing red hair, had lovely autumnal floral bouquets which I traded gold and crystals for. Another was selling pumpkins seeds, perfect to feed the crows that frequent the sky above my home. Eventually I reached the alchemy shop where I picked up various herbs,barks and oils for my potion brewing. Logan’s alchemy shop is always full of all sorts of characters; the owners son, Malachi, is said to be the most skilled alchemist in town. Unfortunately, he miss uses his admirable knowledge viciously often stealing and wrecking the pop up shops. I began walking back home and away from town as the sun set and the street lanterns cut on. The bugs of the night began singing their songs as the moon revealed itself shyly. Evening was when most of the towns people would venture out from their homes. Fortunately, I was only a few streets away from my long, wooded, windy and desolate street. Of course a lot of the people here are kind enough… but some of them I prefer to stay away from.

• all I can think about is pumpkin carving. I wanna carve pumpkins with my boyfriend so bad I might go out and buy some soon. I was never too good at carving pumpkins growing up but looking at all the designs people do make me wanna give it a shot. I really wanna try the cat faces I think they are so cutee

• today I woke up with my bones and veins outside of my body. I’ve felt so fragile and vulnerable. With every step I took I felt my bones deteriorate bit by bit. Every itch I scratched, blood slowly seeped into the floor below me. As I sat in bed, my bones crackled on the soft surface. Even feeling so fragile, my behavior didn’t change. I still walked hurriedly, scratched furiously, and sat abruptly. I lay in bed now, every movement causing my bones to clack and my veins to twist wondering how relaxation is possible

• my sleep filled eyes fluttered open as the sun warmly shone through the tall trees creating a projection of beautiful sun and shadow shapes on the mossy ground. The colorful leaves danced down from the tall trees as bursts of wind blew by. I slowly sat up from the tree branch I often rested on as the forest animals began to awaken. Bunnies hopped along in search for a filling feast, bugs buzzed by briskly and the birds sang smoothly. As I looked below, I saw all of my materials exactly as I left them before. Softly fluttering my fairy wings, I drifted down from my tree branch. Most of my days were spent in this vast forest creating divine, expressionistic paintings. Although I built a shelter in the tree tops, I still find myself to be quite nomadic. Animals gathered back at the base of the tree to ferociously feast on their freshly hunted breakfast, and that was my cue to feed myself. Softly fluttering my delicate wings allowed me to hover over the ground to scavenge for edible berries and flowers. I would collect as many as I could, because the berries and flowers could be used to make more paint. After collecting some delectable juicy flowers and berries,I circled back to the large tree I set up at. I sat peacefully, back against the tree trunk, watching the trees blow in the wind as I crunched the juicy berries between my teeth leaving me with stained lips.

• today I existed as a witch wandering the land just beyond the castle walls. The wind blew steadily cold as clouds cluttered the already grey sky. Bare tree branches rustled as the breeze flew by. My day would be well spent as long as my crow familiar, whom I called Sparrow, was by my side. Time marched on as did I through the overgrown fields and abandoned camps. Coming across abandoned camps meant a chance to gain some new belongings. Sadly, only common items were spotted today… rope, cooking pans and pottery vessels. As the evening crept closer I found my way back to Sparrow and I’s home. The old rounded wooden door creaked as I pulled it open and sparrow flew through. Warmth filled the room as I lit the candle collection in the fireplace. All that’s left for me today is magical practices and sweet dreams.

I often like to daydream about existing in a world much different from ours. Maybe I live in a old Victorian castle on a hill with my cat companions. I run around the castle grounds as evening falls wearing a rugged yet flowing dress. I’d spend most of my time collecting various flowers, berries and insects to inspect. Other time would be spent adventuring into the woods with the cats, watching them chase after smaller animals and listening to the wind blow. Here i’d be at peace, all of my time would be own and I’d live freely. The crows of birds would sing me to sleep as my head hits the pillow in the early hours of the morning. I’d sleep peacefully as the sun rose knowing I’d awake as it fell to once again to experience the unadulterated joy of freedom and truly existing.

first up is “Girl with Death Mask” by Frida Kahlo, second is “The Smiling Spider” by Odilion Redon, third is “The Scream” by Edvard Munch and last is “The Garden of Earthly Delights” by Hieronymus Bosch !

• early 2000’s Halloween nostalgia. Halloween was so exciting when I was a little girl. My friends and I would spend all October planning costumes to wear trick or treating. We would all walk around the neighborhood together hoping to score a great deal of candy. There were always two maybe three houses in the neighborhood that would go all out on Halloween decorations. The house furthest from me always had a skeleton/zombie/pumpkin graveyard theme in the front of their house with the animatronic decor they reused each year. I specifically remember one animatronic they had was a skeleton band that would sing a song. The other house was much closer to me, like right up the street and they were always creative with their Halloween decorations. The father that lived their would build a lot of it himself. I remember one time he made their garage door into an interactive horror short film showing. Walking up the door it looked like a woman was trapped inside trying to get to you. She would end up screaming, throwing axes and punching at the door which would cause it to dent out and have the fake glass shatter. As a kid this house always terrified me but I loved it! I loved the creativity, I thought it was so neat that they made all the stuff themselves! After perusing around the neighborhood for a few hours with my friends, we would go home, share candy and put on scary movies to watch all night. We’d watch things like the Salem witch trials, the exorcist, and the conjuring. I hope one day Halloween can feel this exciting again.

I have always loved this movie, watching it through and hearing the songs made me feeling like a little kid again