Girls who wear cute underwear specifically for you deserve to be eaten out like they’re your last meal on death row

"kids arent being social now a days because of those brain washing phones" what the fuck do you think we’re doing with the phones. do you think we just stare at the number pad. do you think twitter is just a one way text from a robot bird.

team 5’5 and under where ya at

they didn’t let us in they thought we were 12

*is shy and quiet but also nasty as fuck*

you’re the kind of person everyone needs in their lives

when shots are fired but you have a good comeback

i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by you” with like blood all over his face and jersey

so i asked my dad and he said “my friend told me he’d give me 10 bucks if i asked a girl out with my broken nose and she said yes”

radio station: *plays commercial telling you they’re commercial free*