liza blaise

words can’t begin to describe the aching pain i feel. not only has this been a terribly difficult year in my life, but lucky has always been there for me through it all. i remember crying on the floor out of my mind while my cat would gently brush up against me. it was time for me to return the favor of comfort: release him from his anxiety and pain. i kissed him on the forehead and cradled him like my own child. and then, he slept. his tiny heart beated for the last time under my palm. god knows how i will cope, but i know things will inevitably be okay

summer has passed me by

in two quiet hours at the clinic, they ran an ultrasound on me and told me it was benign. i'll still have to come back in december for further monitoring.

upon relaying the aforementioned good-news, my mom broke down in immediate tears of relief. seeing my own mom cry for my life broke my heart in an unfamiliar way. she held me close and told me i'll know what it's like when i have a daughter... and i believe her. i don't understand it in her way yet. but in that moment, i relived a glimpse of my former infancy. i felt as if my hands were half the size of hers again. emotions in that cathartic depth are rare for me, but i've come to cherish them deeply

my parents proposed i consider getting a double mastectomy next summer since my family seems to be genetically predisposed to cancer. i have a good half year to think on it, really. it would suck to not be able to lift my arms for a while though,, ^^;;

i'm going to big bear with some friends come july; the writing is coming along the more i push myself to feel the words. instead of using my head, i'm practicing diligence of heart

i hope people enjoyed my ft on hostage by bodygaard! i think i'll surprise streaming with a song in the next 2 weeks. i realize i want to write more music about the everyday nuances as much as my deep tribulations. i don't like being distant as much these days

last two weeks. life update time!

finished classes for the semester. growing my hair back a bit. i suck at tower unite golf; my brother turns 30 today !

on the less fun side of news i’m going in for an unprecedented breast cancer screening this morning after noticing an irregular mass :(anxious but to be #real life goes on!! things will b taken care of!!

sorry not much “real” music this past 6 months, things have been too crazy. learning to ground my own peace, and finally songwriting properly again

do NOT take 19 units in a semester