Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.

they found the culprit and turned their cock back one hour

The house is thirsty

congratulations! no one's ever done it this badly! 🥳🎉

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

@ominous-signs

Official ominous sign

"bears repeating" and "time flies" are two kinds of creatures that fill similar ecological niches

A non-writer asked me "but where do you get your ideas" and i genuinely did not know how to explain that it's not a place. it's not a website. it's not a folder. it's that i was on the bus and a woman was holding a paper bag very carefully and something about the way she held it made me need to know what was inside and then i needed to know why she was sad about it and then there was a whole person and then there was a whole story and the bus had already stopped and i missed my stop. that's where.

Strange women on buses distributing ideas is no basis for a system of artistic motivation

(In the cuck chair)(starts booing)

(Wife looks over)(I do a roman emperor thumbs down)(she executes the other guy)

reblog to give the pervious person a nice rock

hi guys. I'm evil.

hmmm i’m gonna make longform posts about you where i project nuance onto your actions

nooo my evil qwailties