Liwaj

on this picture i drew Alexandr Andreevich Alexandrov - cavalry officer of the russian imperial army that participated in napoleonic wars. people persistently keep on misgendering mispronounsing deadnaming and calling him a crossdresser although alexandrov clearly stated that he didn't want to be called by his deadname and being treated like anything but a man. that's an interesting historical figure and i wanted to draw attention to his person. i can't tell everything about him in only one post so i recomend you to read about alexandrov by yourself

My name is Muto Yugi.

I like games. I like my friends. I like burgers. I have a grandpa at home who loves me.

My name is Muto Yugi.

I go to school everyday with my friends. I wake up at 5AM so I have time to do my hair.

My name is Muto Yugi.

I meet them everyday. We play games together.

My name is Yugi Muto.

I don't like the taste of burgers. I don't like eating.

My name is Yugi Muto.

I wake up at 1AM everyday. I sneak out through the window. There is this guard in my home that I don't know.

My name is Yugi Muto.

He grabs my arms and keeps me trapped in my home. He claims he's "worried" and that "I'm injured" but HES LYING!! HE WANTS TO TRAP ME INSIDE!!

My name is Yugi Muto.

The guard is wrinkled and says my name like he knows me. He's lying. It's a trick.

My name is Yugi.

My friends look at me funny. I don't like looking at them.

My name is Yugi?

I don't brush my hair. I don't wash my face. I don't go to school. Everyone is WATCHING ME at school. I don't know ANYONE AT SCHOOL.

My name is Yugi?

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING I'M ACTING DIFFERENTLY??!! I'M NORMAL!!

MY NAME IS YUGI??

I don't know what school is I don't know who you are stop looking at me STOP LOOKING AT ME ST-

MY NAME IS-

I seem to fall asleep for days at a time I'm dressed my face is washed my hair is brushed I'm fed. It is my captive doing it. They're forcing me here. They're keeping me here against my will. I have to escape I have to escape I have to escape I have to escape I have to escape I have to escape I have to escape I have to escape-

I DON'T THINK MY NAY NAME IS YUGI.

I don't recogniz recognise--I don't think I'm me wh--

Move eec each limb--the reflection isn't me

I don't know who I a--y myself. Please someon-

I DON'T THINK MY NAME IS YUGI

THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME THA-

Sometimes when I wake up I'm a new version of me I haven't met and I don't remember where I am and I think. Like. I belonged somewhere far far away and got trapped here as a form of c o s m i c p u n i s h m e n t. Like. A sinner taken to the slaughter. And I stop sleeping and suddenly I realise these people I call my family are people I don't know OR love. But that's cruel right. And I wake up not remembering days. Weeks at a time. And suddenly the house I thought was mine feels like a prison and when I look in the mirror my face it changes every time and I feel sick and have to look away because that's not me.

And I begin fearing that I don't recognise myself in any of my memories and I dont recognise the friends the me I see in my memories fought so hard to get and I realise that I REPLACED HIM. I AM THE REPLACEMENT. And so I try to gamble my life away and I fill "my" body with meds and caffeine and I pity the "ME" I replaced so much that I run around and s l a u g h t e r everyone who ever hurt him because he deserves to rest in peace. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually dead and this is my afterlife but haha.

That has to be a lie right. Right. Please. Tell me I'm right. Who the fuck am I now? Him? M-

Why can't anyone just give me an answer.

To who I am. To why I am.

It's dark.

I'm scared.

My name isnt Muto Yugi.

But if that's not me..