booping Alastor

Why Vox is Like That

My headcanon is that Vox has always been the type to strive for power and recognition, always reaching for the top of the heap. The problem is that he’s too good at it.

Once he gets into whatever position of power he wanted, he gets bored because what he truly likes is fighting his way to the top. Whatever comes after can be enjoyable but it never compares to the “fight” itself – and thus Vox is always left unsatisfied, setting new goals to become even more powerful because *surely*, that’s what will finally bring him the sense of fulfillment he wants.

(We can kinda see it in his introduction. The man looks bored to tears before Alastor waltzes back into his life and turns him into a manic mess! Here’s a tumblr post about it)

This is precisely why I think Hell gave Vox hypnosis powers: the same reason it gave Alastor the body of a prey animal. It’s torture! With those powers, Vox can get almost anything he wants and he hates it. On Earth, people were a challenge; not everyone can be bought, and he had to rely on his skills.

Sure, he still has those skills in Hell; but in Hell, where every sinner is a potential enemy and the exorcists come down once a year, power is key to his survival and he has to take any victory he can get; meaning, he’ll never be able to *not* use his hypnosis powers, not as long as he wants to survive, even if that makes the fight to the top lose its appeal.

[Insert non-existent tangent on how Val not being affected by the hypnosis – because he’s half blind – is a key factor in Vox’ attraction to him]

Why Vox can’t NOT be obsessed with Alastor:

Alastor is powerful enough to resist his mind-control powers. Alastor can’t be swayed by Vox’ influence, his connections, his power, his money. In short, he’s a challenge. Vox needs to earn his attention, needs to work for it.

Thankfully for him, there *is* something Alastor is interested in: his genuine, unguarded, desperate self: the one that has a full manic episode/mental breakdown when he learns Alastor is back in town. The side of him he always hides under layers and layers of confidence, bravado and corporate talk!

And, deep down, that desperate side of him is exactly why he strives for power so hard in the first place. This man is full of insecurities and he NEEDS to be the biggest fish (shark) in the tank.

This means that Alastor is the embodiment of his deepest fears! He sees through all his bullshit, makes him lose all his composure, and is able to destroy him in EVERY WAY that matters. And yet, he doesn’t. Because, he tolerates (likes) him (in the context of this AU) just as he is, patheticness and all :3  I think there’s something very liberating about that.

Plus, Vox is a simp. He’s a manic sado-masochist who gets off on seeing Alastor humiliated and being humiliated himself, he wants Alastor helpless under his claws, wants Alastor to step on him and tear his heart out if that’s the only way Alastor would touch him, wants to have a cutesy dance-off with and make him laugh until his face hurts.

Oh Vox, we’re really in it now

He’s obsessed with Alastor and wants him in any way he can have him – and I think he’d be ready to give himself over to Alastor in any way Alastor wants to have him as well, because as long as it means Alastor wants something *from him*, it’s worth it. Even if it destroys him.

So, in a context where he has experienced Alastor being on friendly terms with him, where Alastor he has seen Alastor’s genuinely smiling at him and handing him the smallest crumb of affection, there’s just no turning back. Yes, he *could* still get off on seeing Alastor hurt because he’s deranged like that, but he doesn’t want it anymore.

or, well. the vicious, demonic part of him does still want to hurt him, but not exactly for the same reasons as before. It’s more of his caged beast of a heart wanting to make its predator pay for ruining it, in a desperate attempt to reduce his pain (at Alastor’s perceived “indifference”), to force Alastor to SEE him (not that he can. Lol).

BUT! he doesn’t need to do that now! Not when there is so much he would have to give up! So many other emotions, reactions he can get out of Alastor, knowing that HE did that!! To Alastor!! Him!! He cares so, so much. He’s the biggest shark in the tank but Alastor is the water around him. I suck at metaphors.

FML: Alastor edition

Hell turned Alastor into a prey animal because he has always felt like one. I think that at his core, he’s never going to get rid of his instinctual mistrust of others and fear of having any exposed vulnerability turned against him, because it’s part of a defense mechanism he developed since childhood.

He grew in Louisiana as a mixed-race* boy (*it's a bit more complicated than that since "Louisiana Creole" is not a racial designation but let's say Alastor is 100% mixed-race with a POC mom in this context), in an era of widespread lynching and racial segregation, at a time where millions of Black Americans migrated to the North because of the horrible socio-economic conditions of the South. Hell, he was alive during the great Mississippi flood of 1927 – the most destructive river flood of the entire history of the US – and he SAW the government refuse to prioritize the safety of the POC who were 75% of the population (literally; “The refugee camps also dealt with extreme racial inequality, as supplies and means of evacuation after flooding were given strictly to white citizens, with Blacks receiving only leftovers. African Americans also did not receive supplies without providing the name of their white employer or voucher from a white person. In order to fully exploit black labor, Blacks were frequently forced to work against their will, and were not permitted to leave the camps.”)

We don’t know if he was white-passing or visibly mixed, or if his white dad was in the picture, but since he only mentions his mother in canon I’m gonna run with the idea that she raised him alone. He seems to have had a positive relationship with her, which may have impacted his relationships with women in general. However, as a Creole woman, his mom couldn’t guarantee his safety in a society that was rigged against her.

So, he grew up learning the world was out to get him, that no one had his back, and that *performance* was key to his continued safety and survival. By performance, I mean learning how to act around white people to appear non-threatening/avoid being reduced to his ancestry/manage to “pass” well enough. But passing too well would also exclude him from his own community, as mixed people often are.

He also learned that despite his best efforts, no matter how competent he could become, some things would always be unfairly inaccessible to him for reasons outside of his control, and he couldn’t stand for it. The quiet rage, the humiliation, he took out on people by becoming a serial killer: permanently excluding “unworthy” people from society, and consuming them to assert his absolute dominance over them.

FML: Alastor edition. Why he would like Vox:

As the Radio Demon, Alastor has more power than he ever craved in his human life. He’s also vulnerable to the exorcists (Adam), to higher demonic powers (Lucifer, etc.) and was put on a leash by a mysterious character (Lilith? Eve? Roo?).

He’s more desperate for control than ever. It’s not that hard in his daily life, since most people (besides Husk and..? idk) don’t know he made a deal, and he can act like his usual confident self. However, it’s a control that is not unconditional, never absolute nor freely given.

And Vox? He’s hopelessly devoted to Alastor. Alastor has the upper hand on him in terms of raw power, but he also has the absolute psychological and emotional upper hand here. Vox is putting his heart and everything he has on the line in a way Alastor would never do in his worst nightmares. Vox is probably the only person who ever *let* Alastor have this much power over them, and Alastor loves to see it.

This, in turn, makes Alastor more willing to show his more vulnerable side, in a way he would never do if he were also in love with Vox imo. Because Vox is “only Vox” to him, and losing Vox wouldn’t destroy him the way it would if he returned Vox’ feelings, he’s paradoxically more likely to get closer to him. Being in love with Vox would make him too vulnerable and I honestly think that if he became that desperately attached, he would kill him in a fit of panicked narcissistic self-preservatory rage, to prove he’s stronger than this. He’d be too scared to have his feelings taken advantage of, and his brained is wired to kill anything that gets in his way.

Having Vox as a friend, however, is just perfect for him! Just the right amount of closeness and connection that enables him to give him his trust, without fearing he’s being blinded by feelings outside of his control. And knowing that Vox wants him *that* desperately but accepts Alastor’s inability and unwillingness to return this love, and is content to be given anything Alastor allows… Well, that’s heartwarming in its own right, isn’t it?

And THIS is why RadioStatic as a qpr/fucked up friendship with benefits has so much potential, to me! <3

Vox first starts noticing something is wrong when he begins losing chunks of time.

It's little moments at first. A conversation here and there. Then entire meetings, movie nights, dates. A whole afternoon just...gone.

He chalks it up to exhaustion. Velvette is always saying he's overworking himself. That's it. That's all it is. He just needs to take care of himself a bit better and he'll be fine.

Vox really begins to worry when he wakes up on the floor of his bathroom covered in blood.

He can taste it in his mouth, the flesh in his teeth. He doesn't recognize the Sinner's corpse in the bathtub, flayed open and organs gone. He throws up.

The security footage is clear. He watches himself leave the tower, leaping into the power lines from the privacy of his bedroom. Hours pass before he finally returns, dragging the corpse along behind him as he heads towards the bathroom.

He remembers none of it.

It takes him the rest of the night to clean up the mess. He can't risk anyone seeing. This would destroy his image. How can the people trust someone who just plucks Sinners off the street for a midnight snack?

He disposes of the corpse and his ruined clothes. How would he explain this to Val and Vel? He can't. He can't explain any of it.

Things come to a head when he almost kills a Sinner on live television.

It's his usual talk show. He's interviewing an actor about his latest movie (produced by VoxTek, of course) when he hears it, like static in his mind.

Kill him

He shakes it off and continues the interview, ignoring the way his heart beat kicks up a notch.

Kill him

The stage lights seem so bright, so hot. They're blinding.

Kill him

He can hear the rush of blood through the actor's veins, see the pulse of his jugular. His claws twitch. He wants to rip it out.

KILL HIM

The actor is still speaking, but Vox can't make out what he's saying anymore. His head is filled with static and the sound of rushing blood-

Ǩ̶̨̮̾͠I̷̧̩̋̂͋Ḽ̴̀L̵͎͇̟̔͝ ̷͙̯͝H̶̫̤̿͂I̷̭͚̎͌̕Ḿ̶̤̑

Vox runs off the set without explanation. He cuts the broadcast remotely and does not stop moving until he reaches him dressing room. He slams the door. His heart is pounding. He is shaking. Sparks crackle around him wildly and he struggles to reign them in. Someone is pounding on the door. Velvette is shouting his name. He presses his hands over his receivers.

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!"

And everything goes silent.

When Vox opens his eyes again, darkness has descended upon his dressing room, the LEDs around the mirror flickering. And from the darkest corner of the room, a figure emerges. Vox glares.

"You."

"Good evening, darling!" Alastor cackles. "How is your broadcast going?"

Vox staggers to his feet. "What the fuck do you want?! How did you even get in here?"

Alastor's answering grin sends an icy chill down Vox's spine. "Why, you let me in."

"Bullshit! Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Look for yourself."

Vox does, mentally searching out every camera feed for what the Radio Demon might be talking about...and he finds it. Wide-eyed, he watches his own image enter the security office, slitting the guard's throat and tapping a few keys on the blood-splattered keyboard. He recognizes the motion enough to know it's the access code and within seconds, the V Tower is completely exposed. Vox kills the feed and looks at Alastor is shock.

"I told you," the deer says.

Vox shakes his head. "How, I...I don't remember doing that! Why would I do that?!"

"Because I wanted you to. Just like I wanted you to kill that Sinner you found in your bathtub. The actor...while annoying, I didn't truly want you to kill him. No. What I really wanted was to get you alone."

There a rush of static again and Vox's jaw snaps shut, body rigid. He can't move. He can't speak. Panic floods him. Alastor steps closer.

"I've been controlling you for weeks now. It's a splendid little trick, don't you think?" He points to the floor with his cane and Vox kneels. The microphone tips up his screen. "Imagine what I can make you do. Though you don't really have to, do you? I think I made the...possibilities very clear tonight. Of course, we could always make a deal."

Vox feels his jaw come free and he stares up at Alastor's Cheshire smile.

"You want my soul."