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bill skarsgard x female!reader
summary: Imagine her pain when the person who changed her views on the word "love" became the reason why she closed her heart in the first place.
word count: approximately 1.3k
warnings and notes: no warnings, just more sadness... i'm really good at this lol. also we're approaching the finale and i haven't wrote anything yet heh. happy reading! ps. i just organized my blog yesterday and im so proud of it. y'all are welcome to drop by and have a quick look around :D
divider by: @/saradika-graphics
His mind was still reeling from the dream he had last night. It was like a deep wound that opened up. Still fresh and throbbing from pain, the memories consumed his entire being. No matter, he thought. Today he will drive and spend the rest of it with his friends. He will try. He will drink and make the most of it. He will try. He will try to forget.
But will he ever though? And does he even want to?
He shook his head in annoyance. Questions unanswered lingering in every corner of his brain. He was in desperate need of a distraction and he will make sure to get that in Phoenix.
Dark grey clouds soon blanketed the sky above. A couple of hours in and there was nothing but endless road ahead of him. Not soon after though the first drops of rain had started falling down. He turned on the windshield wiper of his car so he can get a clear view outside and that's when it really started to pour down.
After another couple of hours of driving he decided that he had had enough for now. He pulled up in front of the first cafe he saw and went inside immediately to avoid getting wet. The shopkeeper's bell rang and one of the baristas greeted him with a smile as he walked towards the counter to order himself a cup of coffee and something to eat.
He sat in one of the corner booths at the far end of the cafe away from the rest of the customers. He took a deep breath as he zoned out, staring at one of the paintings that was hanging on the wall.
"It's called the 'Wilderness Trail."
He almost jumped out of his seat. "I'm sorry?"
"That painting you were staring at," Melissa, one of the baristas said. "It's called the 'Wilderness Trail' and it was gifted by the owner's closest friend. I believe this is from Bob Ross' show."
"Ah, I see." He nodded in understanding. "It looks pretty."
She smiled and thanked him in return before giving him his food and drink. "I tried calling your name by the way to let you know that your order was ready but you seemed out of it."
He looked down at his hands and laughed nervously. "Yeah, sorry about that."
"No, no. It was alright. Anyway, I won't take much of your time. Give us a holler if you need anything."
It has gotten really dark outside as if the whole world was swallowed by a giant. It made perfect sense, as compared to most days, it was a tad quiet at the cafe. There was a couple sitting face to face in one corner and a student whose nose was buried in a textbook in another. Positioned at the table in between them was a writer busy typing away, seemingly lost in the little world they're creating. Soft music plays on the speakers which, when combined with the bright and warm decorations, created the ambience which the patrons enjoy.
He took a sip from his coffee but it dribbled a little bit to his chin and onto his shirt. He wiped his mouth with a napkin from the table and stood to clean himself in the bathroom.
A familiar red car had parked outside. The bell above the door rang as the person walked inside the cafe. Melissa, already knowing who the person was, greeted them with a smile.
And with their favourite drink.
"You are a lifesaver, my darling." She took a sip from her cup before continuing, "have you seen Fate? She said she'll be in today."
Melissa nodded her head. "Yes, she's just in the office."
"Perfect, I'll go there then. See you in a bit."
She walked away completely unaware that the person who she loved once upon a time was just on the other side of that same building. Bill sat down on his chair and resumed his drink and pastry. He sent another message to Landon to let him know that he'll wait this rain out for a while before he starts driving again. And that he's not far out from where they wanted to meet.
Once the rain had finally settled, he took it as his cue to leave but not before saying thank you to the staff. Once he was out, he walked over to his car. At the same time he was unlocking the door another car was pulling up next to him. The little boy came out first squealing with absolute delight and began jumping in the puddles. He was followed by an adult man who looked exasperated. Bill was sure he heard the man, who he assumed was the boy's father, whisper something along the lines of "please be careful or she's gonna kill me."
Bill chuckled as he got inside his car, instantly remembering his younger brothers when they were the same age as the kid he saw just now. He thought he should probably call them once he meets up with Valter but for now he put on his seatbelt and pushed the button to start the car.
He could also still hear the kid outside yelling and as he looked up to adjust the rearview mirror that's when he saw her.
Did time stand still or had he become paralyzed in his car seat? One thing he knows for sure, it felt like his chest was going to explode with how much his heart was pounding against it as soon as he laid eyes on her.
Her. Who used to be his. Now he's nothing but a sad memory for her. A regret. Bill winced at the bitter thoughts forming in his head; all the years he spent wallowing in grief for the pain he caused her had crashed into him like a bullet train. He watched her years ago as her entire world crumbled, and the look on her face would forever be seared into his brain. Nothing in this world can make him forget that.
Or at least that's what he thought because right now the universe has found a way to double his agony; some sick twisted joke unraveling in front of him. Now he's watching her— no, them; the kid from moments ago and the man he was with. He watched them be the picture-perfect family...
And it seems like she finally got her wish.
Consumed by guilt and despair, he wanted to march down where she was and just talk to her. But what is he even going to say? He's sorry? That he made a mistake? Is she even going to want him back? More uncertainties raced in his mind as he debated whether or not he'll do it. But the urge to approach and to hear her voice once again is getting stronger by the minute. And he's running out of time.
Kid in her arms, she waved goodbye to her friend and strolled to her car, the man following close enough behind them. "Fuck it," Bill thought, his heart still beating wildly as he pushed his car door open. He swallowed his nervousness and almost broke into a sprint just to catch up with her. He knows deep down this is against his better judgement but all logic and common sense went out the window the moment he saw her. There is no going back now and he cannot bear to lose her again.
She turned around, her beautiful smile still etched on her face. Bill was now standing in front of her, silently praying that she doesn't push him away. This is it. If he's being honest, he wished he could have met her on any other circumstance but the opportunity had arised and he figured in for a penny, in for a pound. A beat passed. And then...
"Hi, Bill," she said. "It's good to see you again."
