ListlessDull

The fact that most women are still dealing with some sort of sexual harassment and assault on a daily basis is why we still need to fight for women’s rights. Do not tell us that we don’t need it anymore. Millions of us are still struggling with it and there are still a lot more to do. For instance, by educating the ignorant and the unaware that we do not ask for it. Practice mutual respect and understanding consent is important.

I just need a space to rant. Tomorrow i am working with him. The whole day I can’t shake the feeling that he’s gonna do something terrible. He got drunk yesterday and was so persistent in asking me out for drinks. I told him no constant saying no. He kept insisting and calling. I felt so scared that he is gonna find me and do terrible things to me. I have been sexually harassed before and i am still struggling to get rid of that awful memory. The memory still vividly etched in my mind that i cannot forget. The memory before it happen, the memory when it happen and the memory after it happen. I can’t let it happen again. Please not again. I feel so anxious and scared to death. What will happen. My knees are weak, I feel choked, I feel weak and unprotected. But i need to prove that I am strong. Strong enough to not let it affect me. But to be honest, I am not strong. I am weak and so vulnerable. I am in a mess. I dont want to burden my close ones. But i feel so overwhelmed with fear. I am so scared. Please help me. Help me get through this difficult moment. Someone just help me I beg of you. I dont want to feel like this anymore. 

Inconsideration runs in the family and I’m sick of it. Just waiting for the day where I could feel sane everyday waking up to peace and tranquility. Who needs family when nobody appreciates and cares about you. It’s the same as not having family at all. 

They say family is important in life. Does that include the toxic ones too? What’s the point of having family when they are downright selfish and treats you like garbage. What constitutes as family first?

Am I a good artist? Or just pretentious. Sigh