Ethnically Indian, Nationality American

To all my readers,

I apologize for the timing, I know all of you are curious to read what happened next for me and my fiance. Unfortunately, I have come down with some flu/ virus.

As soon as I am well again, there will be a post continuation. I also hope to share with everyone what my wedding dress looks like.

Have a great couple of weeks!

Thought I would do something different and post photos from back in the day.

1. Black and white photo: (left to right) Grandmother (Dad), my Mum, and Grandmother (Mum). The Gujarati word for Grandmother is Ba; photo was take after my parents wedding ceremony.

2. This is how dinner is served for a wedding reception (my Uncles' wedding in India); space is left in between people eating so that the servers can come around and refill plates.

3. Balloons and flowers decorate the car for the newlyweds.

4. My Auntie and Dad; photo just taken after my parents came to America. This ceremony is done to people who are welcomed into the home for the first time.

5. My Mum getting the welcome ceremony from my Auntie. Notice how dressed up my Mum is in the photo, her sari* is bright, she is wearing bangles, and her necklace is considered heavy (with weight) and therefore appropriately matched will with her outfit.

6. Small ceremony done with my parents and relatives (this was done in the USA).

7. (left to right): My Auntie, my parents, and my Ba (mothers Mum). The photo was taken after the entire ceremony was done.

*Sari is the style name in Hindi of the dress my Mum is wearing.

Hope you enjoyed the photos this week and see you next week for more adventures!

In the Indian culture, when you have BIG news (ie your engaged, having a baby, etc) you share the excitement by calling everyone important in your life and telling them.

After my return from Northern California, I called everyone in my phone book plus my Dads (mainly family living aboard) to tell them of my engagement.

As it turned out, a lot of my friends were shocked when I told them I was engaged. Most of them figured I would be the type of person to have a long engagement while others had no idea I was talking to someone. My friends are right about the long engagement, my personality is the type to have a long engagement; however while planning the wedding, I keep thinking back to what my Mum says about marriage. She says that in the Indian culture, couples get married young and right after they meet so that they can l grow together. This is what happened to most of my Aunties and Uncles (plus Mum and Dad); most of them got married in their early 20's. Now whenever I see my relatives, I see how close they have become over time.

While talking with friends, I learned that a lot of them were happy that I called them personally! In today's society, most of us are more about texting, e-mailing, or even using social media to tell news; rather than just picking up the phone and not just telling good news but asking how the individual is doing. Needless to say, I spent multiple days talking to everyone. I am not the type to talk over the phone, however it was nice to reconnect with everyone and just ask how their life has changed since we last spoke.

You may have noticed I have not said  lot about engagement rings (building suspense); as well as the Indian culture is just starting to adapted engagement rings within the traditions. As stated before, engagement ceremonies are more of a Western culture rather an Indian, therefore there is no need for an engagement ring. However, during the wedding ceremony wedding rings are given as well as the bride receiving a traditional Indian necklace. 

Keep reading for the suspense to be over on how I got my engagement ring, plus photos of not only the traditional Indian necklace but hopefully more photos from my parents ceremony!

In my last post I wrote mostly about the ceremony of my engagement; this post will be about the days leading up to it and that weekend and afterwards.

Early on, it was decided to have the engagement ceremony in Northern California; not for any particular significant reason (ie cultural or traditional). Therefore on a Friday in August my parents and I drove out to Southern California. We made our way to Artesia California, where a large community of Indian people comes to buy their Indian goods. If you have not made your way to this part of Southern California, than you are in for a treat! In this city a small portion is filled with an abundant amount of stores with Indian: dinning, clothing, sweets, jewelry, and religious icons. My family, like most, comes here to buy items that cannot be found in American grocery stores.

After buying Indian sweets and some cultural items, we made our way to my Aunties home. When my Auntie was born in India and before she came to America she used to practice various forms of Indian artwork; one of her many talents is Mehndi*. Here are some photos of her artwork on my hands (free style):

On the left holding the Mehndi cone (my Auntie) and on the left is my hand.

The term Mehndi cone refers to when the Mehndi comes out properly,  the shape of the tube is a cone; note the cone shape next to my hand where the Mehndi is coming out.

The end result; please note how there is not a lot of design on my palms. This is because the ceremony is for my engagement. Another part of the Indian culture is to write the fiance initial within the design. Can you find the M? For answer look at bottom of post**.

Simple design on the tips of my figures.

On day two we made our way up to where my in-laws live. We had a small get together for dinner with homemade Indian food. After the late arrival of my sister, everyone went to bed early because the following day was the engagement ceremony. Per the previous post, the engagement party was super small. It was decided that since the wedding was going to be soon, there was no need in sending out invitations for the engagement. After the ceremony was over, everyone changed into American clothes and we went out to dinner. Since my fiance had to work early in the morning, the "kids" called it a night and went to sleep while the parents stayed up and talked.

On day four the entire family filled one SUV and we went touring around the area to visit the in-laws friends and family. Since my fiance had to work, we had to fill our time with activities and meet him later for dinner. My parents and sister had never seen his home before so after our touring and his work, we met him at his home. This may seem like just a convent place to meet, however this was a big deal because my parents are traditional; they wanted to see for themselves what kind of home I will move into. The fiance got a thumbs up from my family! For dinner we went to eat out and now then it was my turn to feel the pressure because I was going to meet my fiances closest cousin (practically a sister to him).

To be honest I was too nervous for dinner, I ate one slice of pizza and tried to make conversation. I was fortunate to have my sister with me; story goes that when my sister was a kid she used to play with my fiances cousin sister! So they caught up about her career and her life in Northern California. When I built up the nerve to speak I was able to contribute to the conversation; I even talked to her (the cousin sister) about how we should hang out the next time I come to Northern California and maybe she could introduce me to some of her network contacts. The night ended pretty well with everyone tired from the adventures of the day.

On day five my family made our way back home. All in all the engagement weekend, meeting both family relatives, and the engagement ceremony was as prefect as it could be.

You might be wondering where the engagement ring story is. You will have to wait until a future post to see what the Indian traditions for an engagement ring are.

*Mehndi is the Hindu word for Henna

**The M for my fiance initial is located on the top hand. Look at my pinky finger and follow it up to the above the swirl, where the M is slanted.

As promised, this post will be about going to Northern California and my adventures with my future fiance; with the added bonus of photographs for back in the day!

By the time I was really getting into watching FIFA, I knew that I wanted to keep seeing my future fiance because our conversations were becoming more in depth; the feeling of having someone with common interests was exciting!

I was ecstatic to go back and visit my future in-laws as well as get some bonding time in with the future fiance. On my arrival date (Friday), I  got to have lunch with the future in-laws then make my way to Sacramento. My plan for this trip was to stay closer to Sacramento; in order to discover future opportunities of employment.

On Saturday the future fiance and I went to downtown Sacramento to explore the state capital and walk around. We took a self-guided tour of the capital building then decided to have lunch and afterwards find a comfortable spot to settle down to watch the FIFA games.

We caught the end of the England verses Italy (1-2) game at a VERY busy bar; we did not even sit down because the bar was extremely full. We just stood near the entryway and watching the last couple of minutes of the game. It was exciting to see both the England and Italy fans cheer on their team!

Once we saw Italy win, we decided to we would have sushi and drinks while watching the Cote d'Ivoire (2-1) verses Japan. I must say that drinks, sushi and American soccer was memorable.

Sunday we ended up going to the movies.You might be thinking why would we go to the movies when we should be spending time talking and getting to know one another. However, I am an avid film goer and as such I thought it was important not just know what genre of film my future fiancé enjoys; but it was also important to go to the movies and pick a movie to watch. I learned a lot about him this way. For example, he is not a fan of Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Needless to say the film Gravity was not something he wanted to watch. This was how my future fiance would deduct a film in theaters.  We ended up watching Ender's Games.

After the film we met with the future in-laws and had dinner. Since this weekend was Father's Day weekend, I thought it would be nice to have our first Father's Day dinner together with the future Father-in-Law decide where to have dinner. The night ended well, with a nice family dinner at an Indian restaurant and then going to the future in laws.

Monday was the day I left to go back home. On the drive to the airport is where we solidified the fact that we would continue speaking and seeing each other. Most of my friends ask how did you decide on moving forward with the relationship. This question can be answered with a simple answer, we talked about moving forward. The next step does not have to be as romanticized as film or media make it out to be. Some of my friends even thought I was irrational because they felt there was no romance; which was contrary to my way of thinking. I felt that yes there needs to be chemistry but above that both of us need to get along with and enjoy one another.

Keep reading because if you thought finding my fiance was interesting, wait until you read about our adventures with getting engaged!! Enjoy the photographs from when I was a kid.

Have you ever been to the Flintstones amusement park? It is located on the way to the Grand Canyon. I recently went back and they made it into a RV stop. However I remember having a blast with my family. I'm the one on the left.

Wilma Flintstone and myself. I was a fan of the cartoon show.

Thought I would share something timeless with everyone. This photograph has from my cousins wedding. From right to left: the priest (called a Brahmin pronounced bra-man), the bride, bride mother. In this photograph the bride is doing a Hindu ritual for the wedding.

After New Year's my future fiance and I kept having our usual phone conversations and we were making plans for my visit Northern California in April. I decided I should start to attend Earth Day events and start to gain network connections for when I start to look for jobs. Unfortunately these plans fell through and the next time we met was in June. Most of you may be thinking that this is WAY too long to go without hanging out with the person you are thinking of planning to spend the rest of your life with. Turns out that our phone conversations were starting to become long enough that the times we did not see each other was not too bad (well this is the way I left). One of the main reasons our conversations were starting to get longer was because we would often talk about FIFA. Of all the broadcasted sports events, I would never thought American soccer would be the one that brought my future fiance and I together; he loves to play American soccer, so watching is the next best thing when ones work is SO demanding. The great thing about watching the games is that it also became a family past time (for my Dad, Sister, and myself). We would watch as many FIFA games as possible and put off other activities just to hang out. All of us got into it enough that when my Mum would come home and a game was on, she would not be able to switch the channel! Strangely enough, the best channel to watch FIFA was on Telemundo; we got first-hand experience of watching American soccer the way the world does. My future fiance would mostly watch the highlights, and since he possesses a vast knowledge of the game I was be able to ask him all my random questions; he would even tell me random facts about the players and each countries teams. These facts came in handy when Dad and I would watch the games because I would share the information, then my Dad would turn and stare at me as if to say “how do you know that?” And I would just look back and say “[the future fiance] told me!” Dad always liked me saying that; I guess to him it meant that things were going well because we were talking about something as random as FIFA. This leads me to the next time I went to Northern California... See you next time for my amazing adventure to Northern California and watching the FIFA games with my future fiance!!

I know I have not been posting photos, therefore on December 8th I will return after the holidays and with some great photos (lets hope).

10 posts! When I had five posits I was overjoyed with joy over my achievement. Now that I have ten posts, I feel even more accomplished now because I never thought I could share my point of view with others. I thought I would change it up this week by sharing my bucket list. Over time I will make sure to keep updating this list (and maybe even add some Thinking back on my time in college, I realized that I have always had goals I wanted to achieve; though I never wrote them down, I still consider these lists of goals my personal bucket list. Here are some of the activities that were on this list, granted most of them involve traveling: visit Washington DC (and the Air and Space Museum); go to New York; see from far away, go under, and ride on the Golden Gate Bridge; visit Forks Washington; visit BC Canada; see the trees of Oregon; visit the Taj Mahal; go to the Dads’ place of birth; saw the trees at Sequoia National Park; and sit on a horse (and actually have him walk). All of these activities occurred from the time I was in elementary school through the end of my college years. During these activities I was most grateful that I got to share them with the ones that I love. Thus said, I hope to also do the same and enjoy the activities on my new bucket list with my loved ones around me. Not in any particular order below is my list: -learn archery -learn sign language -Go scuba diving & snorkeling more than once -Learn to snowboard and surf -Draw funny faces on my eggs in the fridge -Go to the Ellen Show with my older sister and my Mum -use my DSLR camera once a month consistently for a minimum of one year -go on a cruise -Ride a hot air balloon -Get closure on past unhappiness -Have a picnic at the park a loved one -Do Yoga consistently for an entire year -Play Holi at the beach one more time -Meet someone you can only dream of meeting (and live in that moment) -Hold a photo of my older sister while taking a photo in front of the Mona Lisa -Be a part of a Zombie walk -Learn to play more than one songs on the guitar -keep blogging -Dance in the rain with someone I care about Here are a list of places I would love to visit: Stonehenge, Pyramids of Giza, Rome, China, Great Barrier Reefs, all of Canada, Zambia (this is where my Mum was born), the Statue of Liberty up close, an inactive volcano and learn its history, the Northern Lights, and the CK Mondovi vineyard (Moscato grapes).

While searching for activities I would like to add to my bucket list, I can across this interesting article ( http://familyshare.com/3-reasons-you-should-have-a-bucket-list ) that discusses the value of writing your bucket list down as well as to share your activities with loved ones. Lastly, it is important to take time to plan things out and to give yourself time to accomplish your bucket list. It is better to plan small activities to accomplish daily, weekly, and monthly rather than just thinking of you will eventually finish your list.

After I returned home from visiting my future fiance, I knew things between us would move in a positive direction. However what happened next was very unexpected. I received these flowers:

From my future finance. I mentioned that my birthday was coming up, he must have done some investigating and asked my parents for the date. Here I thought I was the only one who thought things were moving in a positive direction, but apparently he did as well. For my birthday I got the amazing gift of getting these flowers delivered at work! After my birthday we decided that my future fiance would come to Arizona for New Year's. Unfortunately, my mornings were occupied, but afterwards we would venture around Tucson – I had been in town for a while but never really made an effort to explore the place. So him coming down was the perfect opportunity to have our own day to explore Tuscon. First stop was the Biosphere 2 (http://b2science.org/visitor/admission), the famous experiment that attempted to mimic the ecosystem in a closed glass facility.

This is a photograph of the Biosphere 2 from outside and though this was seen as a scientific failure, I nevertheless thought the place was really interesting! For one, we live in biosphere one (Earth) so trying to recreate a sustainable living environment is intense. If I remember correctly, the reason why Biosphere 2 is considered a failure is because the humans who were living inside had low counts of oxygen in their bodies (do not quote me on this).

Second stop on the adventure was a light lunch, followed by a return trip to have dinner with my parents. It has always been important to me that whomever I married got along very well with my Dad. The reason behind this is that has two daughters and even though he loves us I know that he really wanted a son. In the Indian culture one a daughter gets married (even engaged) the to be husband is treated like a son; therefore I wanted to make sure that my Dad would be able to communicate with whomever I married. During dinner and even afterwards I learned that both of my parents got along with my future fiance. We ended the night with going out for New Year's. I learned quickly that going out on New Year's in Tucson is nothing like going out in Southern California. For one thing, everyone in Southern California dresses to impress, while in Tucson, people go out on New Year's in jeans! Despite the freezing temperatures, the night was fun. We began our festivities with a party close to downtown Tucson. The entrance fee was overpriced and the entertainment was lacking, but we ended on a high note by going to a random bar (which was warmer) to watch the ball drop while enjoying champagne! I would have to say this was a great start to the new year!

*All photos were taken by LisaMNaik

I thought I would change this week’s topic to Diwali. I would like to share a little on the culture and traditions. Two weeks ago was a BIG week for Indians; it was our New Year’s, which is known as Diwali. Diwali is not just celebrated by Hindus but also Buddhists, Jains and Sikhs. Diwali was once celebrated after the last harvest was completed; now families celebrate the festival with family gatherings and amazing homemade dishes.

It is my family’s custom not to use the stove the day before Diwali (this year we had Pizza Hut), and at night we leave candles outside of our front doors to give thanks for what we have received and to bring good fortune for the next year to come. On the day of Diwali we spend it by making homemade Indian dishes; my Mum loves to make dishes that the Gods enjoy. She prepares a small plate of food for the Gods to enjoy/bless, and after she does prayers, we eat.

When my family used to live in California, the entire family would dress up in traditional Indian outfits and go to Diwali festivals. This usually consisted of all the kids dancing to Bollywood songs and afterwards everyone would eat.

In India, Diwali is celebrated to the fullest. Some examples are: more decorations around the house, the entire family getting involved with cleaning the house, more lights around the outside of the house, and families who are more religious even visit temples.

The God Lakshmi is on the left side; she is the Goddess of wealth, etc. On the right side is Lord Ganesha. he is the God of marriage, removal of obstacles. etc. The last activity we do on this day is contact all of our family around the world and wish them a Happy Diwali.

Above is a photo of the type of candle we place outside of our doors. *All Diwali photos were taken from Google Images and are not my own. *Research tools that were used are Google and National Geographics. For more information about Diwali visit: http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/content/kids/en_US/explore/diwali/

In my last post I talked about how introductions are made in regards to arranged marriages. Now that you know how I met my future Father-in-Law; it’s time for introductions between my fiance and I. A couple of weeks after the wedding in San Jose my dad and my future Father-in-Law contacted one another. I was given my fiance’s e-mail and per my parents I was informed to just talk with him. I thought the e-mail would be super random, or like the following: Hi, I spoke with your Dad a while back and your Mum gave me your e-mail address; I did not foresee getting a cell phone number or even a call from him. I say this because the few Indian guys that were prior to New Jersey were all via Internet and none of them wanted to communicate via text or voice call. So this is how my fiance and I started to communicate. After that, every so often he would call me as he was driving home from work and we would just have random conversations. There is no allocated amount of time before a meeting can take place. As a result, we talked for multiple months before I even considered visiting him in Northern California. Eventually I decided to book a flight to meet up with him; this time, I was the one being picked up at the airport. And, as the title of this post suggests, when I saw my future fiance for the first time, I just knew that I would be happy spending my future with him. It is difficult to say if it was chemistry or something else. On that day, we did the simple things that all friends do; after he picked me up from the airport and we went to his parents house. The weekend was spent getting to know each other, which felt perfect (putting my feet in the ocean, having great dinners, and finally getting a chance to see the farm). I’ve heard horror stories of future in-laws unabashed about not liking their future Daughter-in-Law, but I was very fortunate because his parents instantly took to liking me from the very beginning; needless to say, they were amazing. Just as quickly as the weekend started, it came to an end. Below are photos from the farm and the beautiful flowers that my future Father-in-Law grows.

The neighbors horses.

This goat loves my future Father-in-Law.

The farm does not only grow fruits and vegetables, but flowers as well.

Can you see the red orange in middle of this plant; that is saffron, one of the most expensive spices in the world.

The story behind my quote "when you know, you just know" comes from every Auntie that asked me how looking for a boy is going. Let's face it, by the time we reach 25 years of age our relatives start to ask when are we going to get married or if we are talking to someone now.

By the time things ended with San Jose, I just wanted a break from arranged dating. My Aunties would often say "when you know, you just know;" describing the moment when you know the person you are talking to is the one you want to be with. Every time an Auntie would repeat this quote to me, I would be polite and simile; but on the inside I would be thinking 'ya right' or 'but how do you know?'

As it turns out, every Auntie was right because I'm writing to tell you "when you know, you just know." To prove my point it is the moment most of you have been waiting for; the post of my first meeting with my fiance.

Let's go back to that wedding my Dad attended (the one I attended in San Jose*) one thing I left out about going to the reception was this is where I first met my future Father-in-Law.

My Dad introduced my future Father-in-Law as a childhood friend from India. In the 90's my future Father-in-Law family and my family used to gather for Indian festivities. Years later we all ran into each other at this San Jose wedding. He now has a farm of his own; this is what I most interested in when we first started talking, not the fact that he has a son.

*Please read previous post regarding San Jose.

This is the beginning of getting introduced to my now fiance. Stay tuned because next week I will continue with the theme of "when you know, you just know."

In the meantime below is a photo from 1979 (the year my parents got engaged). This is a photo of my Mum and the mehndi* she had during her engagement ceremony. This photo was taken after the entire design is in place. On the bottom right is a bottle of diluted eucalyptus oil; which is used after the mehndi is removed (this keeps the color of the mehndi darker).

*Hindi word for henna.

I got this e-mail from Tumblr and I wanted to share my small success with everyone; here's to having accomplished 5 posts and many more to come in the future.

Let's continue on with my adventures of arranged dating...

The second guy I talked with was "San Jose"; I was introduced to San Jose via family. Again, my Uncle (a different Uncle than the last post) had a friend in India whose son was my age, and this is how I received San Jose's biodata. One positive outcome with San Jose is that he was is Northern California and I was in Southern California. We had more conversations via texts and phone conversations because our  schedules synced; we would talk while I was driving to work and while he was driving home from work.

Like western dating we got to know one another. His parents live in India; like me, he has an older sister; he did his education in the USA; etc. 

After some time*, he came to visit me when I was visiting my parents for the weekend in Tucson. Just in the case with New Jersey, as soon as I saw San Jose, I knew that he was not the person for me; despite this I spent the weekend hanging-out with him just to make certain.

After San Jose left, this time my parents did not speak their minds. Their defense was that he comes from a good family, he has a stable job, and yes he was shy but in time he would open up. Lastly, he had a working visa for USA this meant that after we were married he could eventually apply for USA citizenship making him eligible to stay in with me in the USA.

I still was not convinced, and so we spend more time talking with one another. Looking back, I believe I was hoping for that moment (Hollywood magic love) but it was not there. My parents decided I just needed to meet him again, and so Dad and I went to San Jose. There was a wedding that my Dad got invited to, so my parents thought this would be a perfect chance to spend the weekend with San Jose (and in their eyes change my mind about saying "no way" to San Jose).

I had a fun time being a tourist! We went to the Golden Gate Bridge, the Ghirardelli shop, we did some wine tasting, visited the exterior building of his work, and most importantly we spent time together talking. The issue I had about saying "yes" to marriage with San Jose was that he was not really into talking or expressing what was on his mind. We would just hanging out without talking. After some time I realized I felt as if I had to be the host and entertain him constantly with conversation; which after a full day together, became tiresome.

As the night was coming to an end, I offered that we should attend the reception (for the wedding my Dad was at). San Jose agreed and he was able to enjoy the festivities of an Indian wedding while I got distance. It was at this reception that I first met my future Father-in-Law and ended up beginning the start of how I met my fiance.

Update on San Jose... After I told him that I just wanted to be friends he ended all communication with me (although for a while we were still FaceBook friends). I also found out that he got engaged shortly after our time together in San Jose. By now I understood what was happening with New Jersey and San Jose; both men were talking to multiple females at the same time (like double dating). I personally am not a believer in this. When I was arrange dating, I only communicated with one male at a time; in order to not get my conversations mixed up and for respect of the person I'm talking with.

*I get asked “how long before you meet someone via arranged marriage?” I always give a similar answer; there is no exact time of how long we communicate via technology before we meet in person. My parents were great in supporting me with the arranged marriage. Most of us keep our feelings for someone a secret, but you have to remember that marriage is about bringing two families together; that is why I felt it was important to talk to my parents. I was able to express what I was going through, and even though I am not close with my parents they still know what to look for in a partner.

Every wonder about the concept of an arranged marriage?

If so, you are not alone. Arranged marriages still occur today and it is not as bad as one is led to believe. When I was growing up, I would watch Bollywood films where the female character was forced to marry someone she did not love. A little exaggerated, yes; however, I can tell you from my experience and those within my family, that there is still free will when it comes to getting into an arranged marriage. Throughout college, I would ignore my parents’ request and decided that when I found THAT ideal person for me, I would tell them. Living in U.S.A. I never thought about ethnicity; the idea of U.S.A. as a salad of different ethnic groups was a fact.

I never thought an arranged marriage would be how I would find the right person for me. At the end of college, I told my parents it was time for me to get my career started and marriage was a second priority. However sometimes life does not go the way of our plans; the exact opposite occurred in my pursuit of finding my career, I found THAT person for me and then career clarity. To me, marriage is the union of two families and, therefore, I believe that a marriage should be between two individuals who have a similar upbringing. I did not believe this before, but after I met “New Jersey” I realized that I had to change what I was truly looking for. As with most arranged marriages, I was introduced to New Jersey through family. My uncle in India has a friend whose son is about my age. New Jersey was looking to marry a US citizen -- this is why I added “must not want to marry me for my citizenship” to my future husband must have list -- anyways, my Dad received his information. Since New Jersey’s parents live in India, my cousins in India went to his parents’ house and talked with them. After my cousins gave the okay, I got New Jerseys biodata*. New Jersey, however, lived in the US but on the east coast, while I worked from 3p-11p on the west coast; communicating via telephone was difficult. We texted each other, and after some time he came to the west coast to meet up. My Dad and I went to pick him up from the airport, and the moment New Jersey entered the car I knew that he was not the one for me. I ignored my gut feeling and we hung out for the weekend. We did not discuss the next step but that we would continue to communicate with one another. He went home and I talked with my parents; we all had the same gut feeling when we talked with New Jersey (he was not the one for me). Telling someone that I was not interested is the same as in Western cultures, the uncomfortable feelings and not wanting to sound rude but also wanting to make my point clear. We parted ways shortly after he came to the west coast.

Funny thing happened shortly after we had the uncomfortable conversation, my Mum was talking with my Uncle in India and she found out that New Jersey was going to get married in a couple of months!

Biodata= a written document with information about where one was born, who their parents are, where they were born, what occupation they have, number of siblings, if siblings are married, etc.

Below is a from when my parents got engaged. On the left is my Grandmother, middle is my Mum, and on the right I believe is my Aunt. Enjoy!

Dating: two people meeting for companionship. The concept of dating sounds easy enough however the reality is that dating can be everything but easy.

Have you ever went on a first date or first meeting with the intention of marriage on your mind?

For most individuals in Western cultures, the answer is no. This is not the case for South Asian cultures. In fact, the idea of dating is a Western concept, one that is slowly being introduced to South Asian cultures. The idea of dating is known as modern thinking, and is mostly practiced by families who are Westernized.

Below is the beginning narrative which eventually will end at how I found my fiancé, and what dating was like for me.

In elementary school, I just wanted to be like all the other kids in class (simple/ordinary). When the class learned about the Hindu religion everyone stared at me, I felt every single pair of eyes on me. Over time, I embraced the fact that I am Indian; I even used being Gujarati* as a conversation starter for making friends. Dating and marriage were hot topics of conversation by the time I was in college. I had talked about these topics for SO long that I was an open book for those who were genuinely curious.

(in order to not use names I am just going to use nicknames). This leads to the first guy I talked to; his name is New Jersey and you will just have to wait until next week to read all about him.

*Gujarati: someone who is from the province of Gujarat (the west peninsula of India); also a dialect of Hindi.

In the meantime, I thought I would share with you a priceless photo from 1976. In the front of this photo is my Grandmother, my Uncle and his new wife and in the back you have my Mum (left) and her older sister (right). The photo was taken in Africa in their house behind the shop. Priceless memories...

Namaste

In my first post I neglected to write about going into the career field of hospitality because I thought I would never want to follow in my families footsteps. Some background on why I felt this way...

When I was in high school, my Dad always stated these two facts: #1 You should have take Spanish in high school and #2 Study hospitality in college.

(#1) My Dad felt that since Spanish is the second widely spoken language in the USA, I should be able to succeed. (#2) Since my Dad first came to the USA, all he wanted was to be able to have his own business. Over time he hoped to handover that business to his children. Dad feel in love with hospitality and the idea of one day owning a property of his own (thus the push for me to study hospitality).

Needless to say, being young and thinking I knew it all I did neither of these two requests from my Dad.

However this new perspective I gained links my work in hospitality with my BA in Political Science and minor in Geography. It has taken me several years but I understand now that I want to pursue a career with hotel lodging and tourism.

More to come on my new career plans and how I achieve these goals. In the meantime enjoy this photo from where I gained my new perspective at the Grand Canyon.