Linnoya

Katara had no female teenage friends. She was on good terms with Yue but no friendship was developed, she never had a single spoken interaction with Suki or the Kyoshi warriors, Mai, Ty Lee and Azula were on the opposite side of the war and she never met Jin or Song.

For male teenagers; she was friends with Haru but it was only one episode and when they reunited the crew gave him a horrendous goatee and only one interaction with Katara. She had a crush on Jet, he betrayed her, then when he changed, they quickly killed him off.

Zuko was basically Katara's only close and deep teenage friend. Then after the show was over, Bryke tried to keep Zuko away from her as much as possible (The Comics and LOK). It's kinda like being in an abusive relationship where you get isolated from your friends, except Aang isn't the one doing it, Bryke are.

One of the reasons I prefer Zutara, is because I feel Katara gets to act more like a teenager around Zuko than around Aang. Just imagine how it would have played out if Katara went to that party in The Beach episode trying to make friends with other teens, but with Aang as her date.

Something tells me that if Katara was shown bonding and actually enjoying herself with more kids her and Sokka's ages (especially seeing that high-school-aged kids are the only kids she doesn't mother, except Sokka) more frequently, her choice to end up with Aang in the finale would've looked even more contrived and unrealistic than it already did.

Katara didn’t want to just be pigeonholed into the nurturing caregiver role— heck, the entire reason Aang was discovered and put the ATLA story into motion was bc Katara told off on her brother, saying she was done being “that person” for him! And sure… for like 20min of the show, Aang is a real friend to her and helps Katara rediscover the fun childlike wonder she had to forfeit early in life, but for the rest of the show… Aang becomes essentially *another* child she has to take care of, emotionally set aside her needs for, and internalize her deep feelings and anger with. And then… she marries him. 😢

February, Day 1

Katara and Sokka are young WaterTribe students who recently moved out of their homeland with their naval-commander father, to start fresh as a 9th grader and 10th grader at Fire Nation Academy after the recent death of their mother.  

Headmaster Iroh is aware of this sad news, and takes the liberty of assigning his nephew Zuko, a sullen-but-sharply-dressed 11th-grader, to show the new students around campus on their first day.  

This is right at the beginning of February, and while Sokka can’t stop asking Zuko questions about Mr. Mechanist’s engineering lab hours and Geography Club (”I do like expensive atlases!”)… Katara remains quiet.  She’s culture-shocked by the amount of pink, purple and red paper hearts bannered and dangling along the hallways of the school.  She’s also mesmerized by how Zuko’s face – that scar, dressing most of his left side – carries the same tones and hues of that school’s decor.  Unlike herself, Katara says nothing throughout that entire tour, holding her backpack straps tightly… and Zuko glances at her as they return to the headmaster’s office.

For the first time, Katara notices the rustic gold of his eyes.

Zuko frowns. “Any last questions?” His face moves to obscure his left side.

“Wh–”  Katara gestures to the hallway with her nose. “What’s with all the decorations?”

Zuko blinks, giving her this look that says ‘you’re kidding, right?’ and when he turns over to Sokka, it’s clear that these WaterTribe siblings have no idea what sappy Fire Nation tradition this is.  Zuko sighs, his eyes back on Katara. 

“Valentine’s Day,” he rasps, almost like a groan as he turns on his heel to finally bid them goodbye with his shoulder and quick wave of the hand.

Katara watches him leave, puzzled. 

February, Day 5

Throughout that first week, Katara finds herself making more friends with the teachers than the actual students, offering to help Mr. Piandao organize his library while discussing ancient military combat techniques, drinking tea with Mr. Jeong Jeong and talking about Eastern philosophies, and stopping by Ms. Ursa’s office to talk about poetry homework… but more just to say hello, because she’s so nice.  Katara has no idea how Sokka’s managed to make best-friends in the span of a few days, but there he is… laughing away with Chan and Rion Jon in the hallways, discussing boys’ volleyball practice.  Sokka’s never even played volleyball.  Who is this person?

There is one 9th-grader, Ty Lee, who seems sweet and willing to get to know Katara as a friend, but she wonders if it’s all to try to get closer to Sokka.

Because wow.

Katara can’t keep herself from chuckling by the handful of girls already looking for her brother’s affection.  Must be the eyes, Katara thinks, because if she had a copper piece for every time someone complimented her on her blue eyes, or her wavy hair, or the natural tan on her skin that first week of school…

Zuko hasn’t, strangely.  Not that she cares.

Occasionally, Katara sees him walk the hallways, holding hands with a girl with a matching gloomy face as they head to class together.  Katara thinks about her parents… how they used to hold hands like that… how they never looked gloomy when they did.  Katara shrugs.  Perhaps love is different with everyone.

When Katara attends a Student Council meeting that week, she finally understands what “Valentine’s Day” is, thanks to the Student Council President Azula.  The council has themed activities planned out for the entire week.  Katara has been assigned the Valentine’s Card Crafting Table before school, during lunch, study hall and after-school all throughout that week.  She feels slightly excited about this, as crafting was something she and her mother loved doing together.

But, glancing at the mountainous array of colorful glitter, gel-pens, markers, scissors, glue, construction paper and stickers all mixed around in these various plastic containers… Katara also understands why this was the assignment nobody had volunteered for.

She spends the rest of that Student Council meeting hour organizing all the materials to have them ready for the next week.  Nobody stays after the meeting to help her.  When Sokka’s Geography Club gets out and he finds her on the floor, alone, knelt with a pool of multi-colored construction paper that’s being organized by shade… Sokka approaches her sadly.  He doesn’t even open his mouth when she instantly holds a palm to him.  “Don’t say a word,” she says sharply, still looking down out at her mess.  “I just need a project.”

Sokka quietly puts down his schoolbag, kneels next to her, and assists.

February, Day 8

The table is all set up in the morning as students arrive.  Sokka is there helping her set up, but then immediately dodges Ty Lee’s advances when she shows up to support Katara’s first day behind the Valentine’s Day craft table.  "Who wants to make me a Valentiiiiine??” Ty Lee shouts in her bubbly song, and a couple of boys head over to the table a proceed to make a card for her.

Katara instructs them on how to best cut out a heart out of construction paper with crafting scissors.  They compliment her on her eyes.

She braces herself for the lunch period, and a few girls from Student Council stop by to make cards for each other and their own friends.  Katara chooses to not make hearts but instead a mixed-media card with little ice-huts and snow-men and penguins… which looks slightly ridiculous in the shades of pink and purple.  They love seeing Katara feel in her element with all of these crafting supplies, and tell her so, and the girl feels somewhat more comfortable behind that table.  Just as she’s about to ask them about fun things to do in the Fire Nation, the girls leave with their cards, and Katara remains alone at the table.

Just as she’s watching them all leave, she notices Zuko standing there at the doorway to the cafeteria, serious.  Katara’s face immediately winces down, back to her work.  But Zuko then approaches the very edge of the table.

“Did Azula make you do this?” he rasps. 

Katara shrugs, grinning to herself.  “I volunteered.”  In her salesman-type voice, she looks back up at him and says:  “Would you like to make a Valentine’s Day card for your Valentine?”

Zuko stares at her, and then at the array of crafting supplies on the table, and then at her mixed-media card of her Water Tribe home, and then back at her.

Saying nothing, he takes a seat at the table and grabs a piece of paper.

“Mai’s gonna love this,” is all he says, attempting to cut a symmetrical heart.  

‘Mai’ must be his girlfriend, Katara thought, but she notices the furrow in his eyes, the thinness of his mouth as he works quietly.  Perhaps love is different with everyone.

She returns to her own card.  In certain instances, she can feel Zuko looking at her.  After a quiet set of minutes, he asks her about what exactly she’s making on her card, and Katara tells him.  They spend the rest of that lunch hour talking, and crafting.

Zuko doesn’t compliment her on her eyes.

Not that she cares.

February, Day 9

“… and next thing we know, Sokka’s yelping like a baby seal and running from the wolf-pups… and he sprains his ankle and trips into this 20-foot ice-canyon.  My mom and I had to run to the neighboring village to help get him out.”

“Wow– all for some seal-jerky?”

“Dad told us to leave all the food back at camp!  Ugh– Sokka’s impossible.”

“I’d be happy to trade him for my sister— Hey, can you pass the stickers?”

“Sure– the pink hearts?”

“The white ones.  Mai hates pink.”

“I like the border you cut for the card.  You can add dots of glitter if you want, to  give it some character.”

“Maybe.  What are those swirls of green and yellow that you’re making?”

“Oh– it’s called the Southern Lights… when we were kids, Sokka and I would go swim to the closest iceberg to see them up-close.”

“You’d swim there?  Wouldn’t you freeze to death?”

“Haha!  We had thermal suits.  I’m actually thinking of joining the Girls’ Swim Team here, but they’re not fancy national champions, like the Boys’.  They sound like snobs.”

“They’re not all like that.”

“You know the whole team?”

“I’m on the team.”

“… … … oh.”

February, Day 10

“You’re staring at it again.”

“Wh–What? No, I wasn’t.”

”You were.”

“I wasn’t!  Your sister was passing by, and she gave me a weird look!”

“Whatever.”

“Fine– Don’t believe me.”

“ …Do you wanna know how I got it?”

“Um… only if it’s okay to ask.”

“It’s nothing crazy.  Azula and I snuck into our father’s fireworks supply for the Summer Solstice party at our house.  They were a surprise, but my sister always finds out about these things.  She loves fire.  She wanted to light some up in our backyard before it got dark.  She was only eight… my mother was tending to the party, and our father was supposed to be watching us, I guess.  I knew, the moment Azula lit one up, that she was standing way too close to it… so I pushed her out of the way, and it got me.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.  My parents split up, soon after that.  He didn’t fight for custody.”

“…Do you miss him?”

“No.  Sometimes.  I don’t know. –Where’s the glue?”

“Here.”

“Thanks.  Anyway… Uncle’s always been more of a father to me.”

“Iroh seems really great.”

“Yeah.  He tells the best jokes.  There’s this one, about tea leaves…”

February, Day 11

“She was always more my person, you know?  Not that Sokka wasn’t close to her, or anything, but… it was just different.  He still has Dad.”

“I know what you mean.  My mother and I have a closer thing, compared to Azula.  She doesn’t talk about it, but I can tell.”

“Yeah.  Hey, are you done with the silver gel pen?”

“Sure– here.”

“Thanks.  Anyway… I can’t talk about it, with them, at least… because I don’t want to make them feel like they have to watch out for me, here.”

“You seem like you can take care of yourself quite well.”

“Thanks– I mean, I have to.  Dad’s got work, and Sokka’s… you know… joining a bunch of clubs and playing volleyball, and making girlfriends– it’s not funny!–” 

“I wasn’t laughing.”

“You’re smirking!”

“..the scissors were jammed.”

“Ugh–whatever.  The point is– I can’t be anyone’s little girl anymore.  I have to grow up, keep all these feelings in, and just do what I can to keep us all going.”

“I get it.  It’s like you have to constantly hide a part of you to just survive each day.”

“It really does.  Do you feel that way, too?”

“Oh, constantly– By the way, I think these scissors are busted.”

“Here– I’ll trade you.”

“Thanks.  Anyway– after a while, you kind of stop seeing your life as your own, and you begin to accept whatever it is that people want from you.”

“Yeah.  Don’t worry, though.  I won’t go down that slippery slope.”

“Good.  I don’t think there’s a force of nature that can tackle your kind of strength, anyway.  Not even my sister.”

“Thanks, Zuko.  And… I hope it’s not too late for you.”

“What?”

“You know… to still turn things around? Figure out what you really want?”

“I– I don’t know.  Maybe there’s still time, I guess.”

“Good.” 

“Yeah. Um… so, what are those?  Icebergs?”

”…Yeah!  And this tiny thing is a canoe.  My brother and I would go out fishing in the mornings…”

February, Day 12

With it being the last day of school before “Valentine’s Day Weekend,” the craft table is more or less abandoned, and classmates are bee-lining along their lunch tables, passing around chocolates and carnations, cards and heart-shaped balloons.  

Devoted to her assigned task, Katara remains seated behind that table after school for fifteen minutes before she finally begins to pack up all of the materials and officially consider her shift complete.  She hears all the laughter and smiling faces of students closing their lockers for the day, reminding her of the Winter Solstice celebrations back at home… the way her tiny hands would be so eager to take that warm cup of cocoa from her mother’s palms…

“Need some help?”  

She blinks at the sound of Zuko’s voice, surprised to see him there with his messenger bag.  There’s nothing celebratory about his face or his dress – it’s his usual serious look – but Katara thought he’d be somewhere sharing chocolates with his girlfriend.  She decides not to bring that up, and just nods.

They pack up the materials appropriately into the plastic containers, making sure that the supplies don’t move about inside and thus become a mess for the next person who’s assigned Valentine’s Day Craft Duty next year.  Between the two of them, Zuko and Katara are able to carry all of the boxes into the school’s supply room in one single trip.

When Katara locks up the supply closet, she sighs a deep breath of relief, and Zuko chuckles.

“You know? This whole Valentine’s Day thing isn’t so bad,” she smiles at him.

Zuko just shrugs.  But in his hand, there’s a card with an envelope.  

The color of the envelope is an unfamiliar rustic gold – not like the shades of pink and white that Katara saw in her craft bins all week.  Zuko must’ve found this envelope on his own.

“What is that?” 

Katara mentally kicks herself when Zuko raises his brow.

“Your Valentine,” he says flatly, bringing it out to her.

“But…” she feels a lump in her throat, “… I didn’t make you anything.”

“It’s okay– just take it.” Zuko insists, his hand gesturing with the card.

Katara does.  She gazes at the envelope with both hands and proceeds to turn it over to slice it open.

“Not yet--” he rasps so suddenly, her hands flinch.  “You can’t open it until the Fourteenth.”

“Oh- so you’re superstitious, now?” Katara raises her brow, laughing.

Zuko groans, pinching his nose. “Forget it.  Open it, don’t open it.  Do what you want.”

They walk back out to the student hallways quietly, back to the noise of students and closing of lockers.  

“Are you doing anything special for Mai?” she asks him, out of courtesy.

He says nothing for a long second, and without turning to her, he speaks.  It comes out of him like invisible torture, of mumbling sounds and a syllables.

“We’re… um… we’re– not together– anymore.”  

Katara turns to him, over to the scarred side of his face as they walk.  It’s impossible to read what exactly he’s feeling by that almost-permanent frown, but she tries to, nonetheless.

“Oh.”  

That’s all that she says, and Katara kicks herself again.  As they walk, she can feel the words sitting idly in her throat, the I’m sorry and What happened? and Did she hurt you? and She doesn’t deserve you, you know that? and Sorry, do you want me to just stop talking?   

But before any of those words could come up, Zuko chimes in, turning his good side to her.

“See you around,” and there’s a tiny, almost secret grin that catches her eye as his face turns to leave for the parking lot.

“See you– thanks for your help!” she calls after him, and she can tell he heard her by the way he waves his hand.  

February, Day 14

She waits until the official stroke of midnight to finally open the envelope, and it feels like a bunch of paper-heart confetti that falls out of it.  

Five large pieces of confetti, to be exact.  

One card for each day of the week that Zuko had been sitting there at that table.  She sees the monochromic card from the first day, and the small patches of red, purple, and pink showing up on the cards the following days.  Nothing is written on them, but that is fine.  

That is still enough to make Katara smile.

And she sees a creme-colored folded piece of paper attached to the last card.  

She unfolds the paper nervously, fidgeting as to what kind of handwriting… what kind of words, what sappy poetry would be in store for her big blue eyes.

It reads:

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Katara.

I’m really sorry about your mother, but I hope that you will find something to call home here.  You should definitely join Student Council and try out for Swim Team; the girls could use more talent (I say that as a fellow swimmer – not as a rival, or anything).  Thanks for teaching me how to craft these cards - they’re actually not so bad.  

Would you want to keep talking, maybe?  At lunch? 

Anyway– I’ll be around, if you need me.

Katara had no female teenage friends. She was on good terms with Yue but no friendship was developed, she never had a single spoken interaction with Suki or the Kyoshi warriors, Mai, Ty Lee and Azula were on the opposite side of the war and she never met Jin or Song.

For male teenagers; she was friends with Haru but it was only one episode and when they reunited the crew gave him a horrendous goatee and only one interaction with Katara. She had a crush on Jet, he betrayed her, then when he changed, they quickly killed him off.

Zuko was basically Katara's only close and deep teenage friend. Then after the show was over, Bryke tried to keep Zuko away from her as much as possible (The Comics and LOK). It's kinda like being in an abusive relationship where you get isolated from your friends, except Aang isn't the one doing it, Bryke are.

One of the reasons I prefer Zutara, is because I feel Katara gets to act more like a teenager around Zuko than around Aang. Just imagine how it would have played out if Katara went to that party in The Beach episode trying to make friends with other teens, but with Aang as her date.

Something tells me that if Katara was shown bonding and actually enjoying herself with more kids her and Sokka's ages (especially seeing that high-school-aged kids are the only kids she doesn't mother, except Sokka) more frequently, her choice to end up with Aang in the finale would've looked even more contrived and unrealistic than it already did.

Katara didn’t want to just be pigeonholed into the nurturing caregiver role— heck, the entire reason Aang was discovered and put the ATLA story into motion was bc Katara told off on her brother, saying she was done being “that person” for him! And sure… for like 20min of the show, Aang is a real friend to her and helps Katara rediscover the fun childlike wonder she had to forfeit early in life, but for the rest of the show… Aang becomes essentially *another* child she has to take care of, emotionally set aside her needs for, and internalize her deep feelings and anger with. And then… she marries him. 😢

But seriously.

Imagine that small, barely-readable moment of disappointment that must’ve passed through Aang and Katara, when they realized that their firstborn child… born from a prodigious air -bending Avatar and the most powerful water-bender to exist in a century… was a non-bender.  

Knowing Katara, she would’ve just breathed deeply and held that child even more tightly and lovingly, accepting the little boy as is.  

But Aang?  

Aang must’ve thought the Spirit World was taunting him. No doubt he would be devastated, thinking that bringing air-benders back into the world would be a lot trickier than he thought.  That guilt he once felt about running away from his people would come crawling back under his skin, all over again.

Katara would comfort Aang, as she always does.

He would be adamant, saying that no, Bumi has to be an air-bender!  He has to be.  He just needs some time!  Aang would double-down.  He would make sure to give Bumi the same air-bending spirituality and influence to hopefully trigger the boy’s air-bending gift.  As soon as Bumi were weaned, Aang would take him to visit all of the Air Temples for weeks at a time, and Katara would oblige, staying behind in Republic City to work diligently on behalf of the Avatar.  

But there’s only so much time that Aang can be away, because Republic City needs him.  So, Aang would build a fifth temple just off the coast of the city: Air Temple Island.  It would be Aang and Katara’s permanent home base, bringing as much influence of air culture as he can… with air bison and air acolytes to give Bumi all of this immersion in his first few years of life.  

Katara doesn’t protest any of these changes, despite not having much say in them; she doesn’t reject all of the young pretty female acolytes suddenly living in their home, spending time with their son, her husband… because Katara knows it’s for the best.  She knows how desperate Aang is to have their son be an air-bender.  She still gets to know Bumi regardless of his lack of bending, still finds herself laughing with him, teaching him things whenever the acolytes can give her some quality time with her son.  In secret, Katara also tries to connect with Bumi with water-bending… wondering if, just maybe… but that, too, becomes a fruitless search.  

But actually, no– she notices how Bumi loves the water anyway.  She notices how he loves going out into the water near the island, his hands paddling the water-bent boogie board she makes for him.  She wonders if it would be a good idea to visit the Southern Water Tribe regularly in the future, to see if Bumi can connect with that part of his identity… or perhaps visit the Fire Nation to immerse the boy with Fire Lord Zuko’s naval ships, to see if he might someday be a naval commander.

She brings this idea up to Aang, hopeful that he would like this idea, too.  Aang smiles, but he lowers his head in the way that looks defeated, beaten.

Katara would comfort Aang, as she always does.

Five years pass, and Bumi has visited the Southern Water Tribe and the Fire Nation multiple times.  He has grown to enjoy the water, despite not being a water bender.  No, he is still not showing any signs of air-bending. Aang is sad, but still tries to connect with this child.  It doesn’t come easily, since he knows nothing else… since he was raised by air-benders, who laughed at the idea of gravity all the time.  

Aang becomes more emotionally removed, feeling like a fraud parent in front of this child, and finds himself telling Katara how she’s always been great with kids, how she practically raised Sokka, another non-bender... hears himself making so many excuses to not be around Bumi. 

Katara would comfort Aang, as she always does.

He spends most of his time alone, meditating, traveling to the Spirit World to find an explanation as to why.  Why would the Spirits give him a non-air-bending child in the midst of an extinct air-nation?  Months pass by, and no answer is found, and despite being among his air-bison and acolyte kin on Air Temple Island, Aang feels so empty.  Hopeless.  Alone.

Aang runs off to find solace in the other air temples and acolytes, focusing his energy on bringing back his culture with his most devoted followers, once again leaving Katara to speak on behalf of her husband whenever Republic City asks about Avatar Aang’s absence.  She says he will return soon.

He doesn’t come back for a year.

His relationship with Bumi would suffer.  His relationship with Katara would strain.  Despite her emotional distance from Aang, and his neglect to their child, Katara remains devoted to the Avatar (and her husband, for better or worse) so she stays on Air Temple Island raising their son until his return.  

It’s not until she writes to him in the temples: Don’t worry, Sweetie, we’ll make an air-bender sooner or later. Just come home, please…  that Aang is finally compelled to return to Air Temple Island to try again for another kid.  He has a good feeling about it, too, considering that this second child would be born and fully-immersed in Air Temple Island.  

Imagine the surprise, then.  How… in spite of all of that air culture… their second child is born to be a water-bender.  

Katara is beside herself with joy, and Aang smiles, seeing this sweet little girl who shares her mother’s eyes… but he cannot hide his disappointment.  Katara sees it, too, and she fights that bitter, stinging feeling of guilt in her stomach as she gradually builds a connection with her own daughter.  

Aang, you’re a water-bender too, remember? she encourages, and that little fact brings some light in Aang’s disappointed eyes, and he spends time with his daughter, building a connection through his natural water-bending skills.  

But still… that is not enough, and Katara knows. 

She sees it in the way Aang’s eyes aren’t fully present when he plays with his daughter, his son.  As Katara looks at her husband looking at their children playing together, she can tell by his his defeated, weighed-down grin that truly… deep-down…  he wishes they were something else.  

When Aang packs up to travel again to the air temples, Katara doesn’t protest.  When she learns how Aang has been refusing to even mention Bumi or Kya in the other temples, Katara reasons to herself that it must be because of that pain it causes him– that internal shame Aang carries with him as the Last Airbender who cannot bring more of them to the world.  

That’s what Katara keeps telling herself, as she continues to raise Bumi and Kya on the island on her own for almost another year. 

Thankfully, Aang returns to Air Temple Island, refreshed and fully new.  There’s a sense of hope in the air – now that the Spirits blessed him with a water-bending daughter – that an air-bending child might not be so far away. 

And the third time becomes a charm.  

When Tenzin is born, Katara is indeed happy, joyful… and also relieved, by the look she sees in Aang’s eyes, discovering that this child’s silver eyes match his.  Katara is too preoccupied living this specific kind of joy vicariously through Aang… she forgets to be happy about just having this third child. Her child.  

And when Aang refuses to let go of this child… refuses to give up Tenzin for his mother to hold him that day he’s born… Katara doesn’t protest. 

She brushes off her tears as more happy ones than sad ones, because it’s all she can do to live with this man, now.  This man who is also a kid, who is also the Avatar.  Who’s already gotten so accustomed to the world bending to his every want and need, there is now no going back. Katara knows. 

The world is, of course, rejoiced by the first air-bender born in over a century, and no sooner is Tenzin weaned that Aang takes him all over the world.  

Katara remains with the other two children, keeping this emotional hole in the relationship to herself, but downright refusing to give Aang more children, no matter the eagerness he shows about wanting more air-benders. He talks about it publicly, unapologetically… in written and oral documents…. but whenever Aang tries to place a hand on her shoulder, her back… Katara now shrugs it away.  

When Aang asks her if she’s okay, it’s in that concerned, wise voice of a monk who knows all.  As if this were obviously something to do with her, never about him.  

As usual, Katara says she’s fine, but her arms remain folded, her eyes lowered and distant, all but gone.  

He never asks Katara if she still loves him; that would be ridiculous.  That’s all but assumed; she did marry him, didn’t she? And they had three kids together. 

She never asks Aang if he still loves her; that would be ridiculous.  She already knows the answer.  She’s always known.

No Avatar has ever broken their marriage… according to what Katara has read… and through the stories her Gran Gran always told her, she knows that a marriage is a sacred bond, held for better or worse, before the spirits of Tui and La.  Katara looks at her husband, and then their children… still very young, still considered the Avatar’s kin… and she stays.  She chooses to.  

It’s what she tells herself, on particularly rough days– that she had a choice, and that she made it.  

Aang stops trying to touch her, eventually, and when he takes Tenzin on long-term trips to the other air temples, Katara doesn’t protest.  Whenever he returns to the island, of course she’s there to greet his arrival, but they now sleep in separate quarters.   

When people ask Aang about the possibility of more air-benders after Tenzin, he replies that it’s Katara’s health that is now preventing them from trying for more children, and Katara confirms this with a smile… assuring that Tenzin will be kept safe and protected, with constant vigilance wherever he travels, before he one day has air-bender children of his own.  

In public, Katara still smiles.  In writing, Katara still praises the Avatar. 

When Aang asks her to write a letter to Tenzin for his air-bender legacy book, she obliges quietly, too tired to argue anymore. 

In this letter, she explains to Tenzin what got her to fall in love with his wonderful father, and of course shines light on his fun and kid-like way about living, and how she felt lucky enough to stand by and witness his many deeds for the world and the air-nomad culture.  Katara is too enveloped in this internalized, shameful resentment that has sat and grown for the man who has become her husband… she doesn’t realize she has failed to remind Tenzin in this letter that he is also part Water Tribe through his amazing mother… a woman who stood by the Avatar when nobody else would, who was his anchor of hope and strength when he had none… who taught herself water-bending and became her own hero while waiting for one to be realized.   Katara’s tears stain the parchment of this letter, so much so that she doesn’t notice she didn’t even mention Tenzin’s beautiful siblings, Kya and Bumi, who – while they might not be air-benders – would still love him and be there for him throughout his life. 

The photographs of the family are indeed happy, and courteous… rehearsed, and poised… because this, this is the family that must inspire people.  

Leave it to Katara – the one who always placed others before herself – to always be thinking about that bigger picture.  

After all, what kind of message would it bring to the next generation… a world, still vulnerable by the consequences of war… if they saw the Avatar’s family as unhappy?

Aang would probably panic after seeing baby-Bumi start to walk but not at all looking “light on his feet”… and so he’d go so far as to force baby-Bumi on dangerous glider-rides with him to tap into the boy’s airbending instincts (probably making up some BS story to Katara about how “this is how the temples always taught us!” just to appease Katara’s new-mom worries)… and yet whatever Aang would do, Bumi was still just Bumi.

“Empty Nesters in Ba Sing Se”

–Personal Note—

I’m a hardcore Momtara and Dadko shipper, and this is my head canon…

Zuko and Katara break up with Mai and Aang, respectively, after a couple of years in the post-war world. They realize they have always had a connection; they had been the “parents” to their group of friends despite the short amount of time they had together in the Western Air Temple and Ember Island, and they find themselves missing that partnership.  As they fulfill their work as Fire Lord and Southern Water Tribe councilor, they grow closer as friends, eventually fall in love, and still think about Aang, Toph, Sokka and Suki from time to time as if they were their “children.”

Time passes, and as each of their friends becomes a full-fledged adult… fall in love, have kids of their own… Zuko and Katara comically trade one generation of “children” for another. They literally have their own.

And then, at a certain age… Zuko and Katara begin to pass down some of their responsibilities as Fire Lord and Fire Lady to their adult children, preparing them as the new generation of world-changers. After decades of helping their friends, raising a family, restructuring the Fire Nation, rebuilding the Southern Water Tribe, and of course helping the Avatar as needed… they’re finally ready for some “alone time.” So they run off to Ba Sing Se for a small vacation, enjoying each other’s company before they start their next chapter as empty-nesters.

One thing I cannot get over is how people say that Aang actually wasn't that terrible of a father, and I keep hearing the same excuses to his behavior: he didn't grow up with conventional parents, he had to focus on bringing back his air-bending culture, Katara was already a natural parent and was totally okay being the housewife/mom who let Aang off the hook with most of the serious parenting duties... ugh....

Anyway, I have three points to give:

1) Aang may not have grown up with conventional family structure, but he certainly knew enough about the world (being a nomad his whole life pre-war) to understand what a healthy family dynamic looked like. He knew enough about Toph's dad and Zuko's dad to understand what a poor father figure looked like. Aang also spent time with Hakoda, in ATLA season 3, to see the characteristics of a good father -- and this doesn't even include the time he spent traveling with Sokka/Katara alone and noticing how their dad's absence was affecting them. I put a lot of emphasis on Katara, here, because she makes it very clear in Season 3 that her father leaving the family was devastating... and this girl would want a partner who understood those feelings and do absolutely everything to keep the family together. It's what she did throughout the entirety of ATLA-- Katara was the glue that kept everyone close -- and you would think Aang would pick up on those cues, rather than let history repeat itself after he had his family with Katara. Imagine how awful it must've been for Katara, watching the man she married ultimately go off with their air-bending son on these cultural excursions, and not even consider that their two other kids might want to learn about air bending culture anyway. They're a bi-cultural family, after all, right? Wouldn't that have been a prime example for the new world, showing a blended family being together and not separate? Just let that sink in for a moment.

2) Many people say that any misunderstood family dynamics between Kya, Bumi and Tenzin came to a peaceful conclusion in LOK season 2 with a happy family portrait. Here's the thing-- a posed, smiling family portrait doesn't necessarily indicate a healthy family unit. I'm also making note of LOK Season 3, when Bumi admits that he finally feels more connected to their father after he magically gets Airbending, and also that scene when Kya/Bumi arrive to the Northern Air Temple and the acolytes are shocked to hear that Avatar Aang had other children besides Tenzin. I mean... how much effort would it take, exactly, for Aang to just mention to the temple monks and acolytes that he had two other kids? Was he embarrassed to tell them they weren't air benders? Was he ashamed? In any case, he was the Avatar and he should've demonstrated pride for the children he had regardless of their bending ability or lack their-of. It goes without saying that, while Aang did grow up differently and had many priorities being the Avatar and the Last Airbender... he still made some conscious choices about how little of a "family man" he wanted to be. Aang clearly favored the air-bending life and didn't process that he was also raising a family that was part WaterTribe (perhaps because many of their customs clashed with his air-bending way of life... but that's another conversation.)

3) Yes, Bryke are notorious for writing examples of poor father figures (Ozai/Unalaq/BeiFong/Yakone/Hiroshi) and I'm also here to tell you that they're known for writing women who lose agency and turn devoted-doting-domestic-docile once they get with their man. Pema from LOK is a good example-- all we know about her is she literally gave her life to be an air-acolyte and carry Tenzin's children (the only backstory we get is Pema secretly pined for Tenzin until it became too much and she had to say something), and be the good housewife and mother to those air bending kids. We know nothing about this woman's individual wants or needs outside of motherhood. Another example is the backstory of Yakone and his unnamed wife who-- after giving this man two sons, completely disappears from the narrative and is not aware Yakone is abusing his kids. And she's still exists, because Amon refuses to go with Noatak so as to not abandon their mom. Their mother was so unnecessary as a character after she had the kids, she became this oblivious/silent character in the background who let her own kids get abused. Another example is Unalaq's wife-- again, about a father using his two kids like his henchmen and the mother isn't even in the picture. We know she exists because after Unalaq gets destroyed... Esna turns to Desca and says "what're we gonna tell Mother?"  It may have been written as a subtle joke... but the underlying sentiment is still there.

I'd say my favorite example is the fate of Fire Lady Ursa-- a woman once determined to protect her children that she was willing to commit murder and treason -- ends up choosing to forget those same children and instead wipes all her memories of them entirely to start a quiet domestic life with her childhood sweetheart, a man who very much knows the life Ursa left behind and has the power to decide what truths he wants to tell her about the world and live like there wasn't even a bloody war happening. (Don't even get me started on how The Search disappointed me. Oy).

Perhaps Aang and Katara -- even without intent -- might have fallen into that formulaic pattern when Bryke wrote out the first two seasons of LOK, because that was during the time The Promise, The Search and The Rift comics got published, and Katara's character was definitely becoming that unquestionably-loyal/no fuss/devoted girlfriend to Aang where she would go with everything he decided and sadly sit in a corner while Aang got all the praise and attention and never considering her feelings. Bryke picked up on these mistakes, however, because in the later comics like North & South and Imbalance, you can see them giving Katara some leadership moments (particularly when Aang isn't around) and Aang more of a mature, considerate approach with Katara, saying things like "I'm sorry I just left you to fight alone like that!" and "You're always asking me if I'm okay. Now it's my turn-- are you okay?"  The effort was definitely there to make Aang and Katara look somewhat more compatible than they let on. But things didn't really seem that promising in Legend of Korra... as Katara's character arc gets breadcrumbs of acknowledgement regarding what she did for the world outside of Aang's narrative.

It seems like Katara's badass individual characteristics were written second only to whatever she needed to be for Aang, including being the primary parent to his non-airbender kids while he focused on the air-bending culture.

On this April Fool’s…

Let’s acknowledge the fools who declare that Kataang “won” just because these characters married and had kids together. 

…the fools who don’t bat an eye as they notice elderly Katara living a reclusive, quiet, practically purposeless existence in the South Pole…

…who don’t question Katara’s lack of contribution to the world (outside of being the Avatar’s wife, an on-call healer, and just-in-case-you-wondered-if she-ever-overcame-her-Bloodbending-trauma-oh-hmm-I-guess-not attempting to cease the practice of Bloodbending)…

…who turn a deaf ear to Katara and Aang’s said kids talking about how, as middle-aged adults, they still feel emotionally and culturally divided as a family.  

I can never understand people who see this moment as “just a hug.” 

Sure, it’s a nice symbolic way of showing a reconciliation between two people who, after almost a year expressing animosity and misunderstanding, finally are on the same side.

But… look at Katara.  

Think about how she didn’t hesitate to throw her whole body towards a person who’s not exactly used to that kind of physical contact.

Think about how tightly she’s hugging this person.  

Think about how she could’ve just approached him slowly, with fair warning and wrapped her arms lightly and amicably.  Just to show politeness.  Just to show no hard feelings between them from now on.

You can feel a deep, emotional demonstration in that hug.  

It’s like Katara doesn’t want to let this person go, and I don’t mean this just in the literal sense.  It’s almost like a transcendent… spiritual awakening that she’s realized within herself, hugging this person.  

I look at this image of Katara, and I see a character who, after a lifetime of internalizing so much rage, setting aside her emotional needs before others, always being everyone’s else’s voice of reason… everyone else’s beacon of hope… everyone else’s pillar of strength to carry on in the toughest times… this is Katara finally finding her pillar of strength.

This is Katara finding her Equal.  Her Partner.

This is Katara discovering the person she can lean on, whenever she has to remind herself that her thoughts, her needs, her feelings matter, too.