Lindell❤︎︎

𝐋𝐢𝐧 ❁ 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 - 𝐎𝐧𝐞 ❁ 𝐒𝐡𝐞/𝐇𝐞𝐫 ❁ 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 ❁ 𝟏𝟖+

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Lifeline (part two) ~ Jack x Reader

I was not expecting so much love for Lifeline so thank you so much for all the likes, comments, follows, and reblogs!

Would any of you like a part three for Lifeline?

I’m working on a few different fics right now in the Pittverse that will Langdon x Reader and maybe a Whitaker x Reader so stay tuned ;)

Part two

Summary: you fall for Jack, slow and steady. And as it turns out, he might have fallen for you too.

Pairings: protective!jack abbot / depressed!reader

Characters: Santos, Jack abbot, Dana, Mateo

Warnings: He fell first, he also fell harder, (NOT proofread!) angst, reader gets physically abused (not graphic), medical inaccuracies, power imbalance, 𝟏𝟖+ (𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈) 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭!, hurt/comfort, housing insecurity. (sorry if I missed any!)

Word count: 3.5 k

Part 1 here !!!

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The next morning you wake up in a soft bed for the first time in weeks, and the only one you can thank is Jack.

And maybe yourself for stupidly hitting the wrong contact to call last night.

Not only is the bed soft, but it’s also warm, which shouldn’t be shocking to you but it’s funny the things you notice when you haven’t had basic necessities for a while.

As you stretch you smell a familiar woodsy scent clinging to your clothes, you remember that Jack let you borrow his shirt and a pair of pajama pants, insisting that instead of just grabbing your luggage from your car that you could wear his clothes instead of making the extra trip.

You didn’t mind, his cologne was comforting.

You reach for your phone to peek at the time.

11:24 AM

Damn.

You haven’t slept in this late since med school.

You’re usually up by seven AM every morning, maybe it was the exhaustion from last nights panic attack.

The memory makes you cringe, you broke down and called your attending in the middle of the night to tell him you’re borderline suicidal and not only disrupt his sleep but also inconvenience him more by taking his personal space away from him.

You really deserve a gold medal in being extra baggage for the people closest to you.

As you stretch out in the bed you decide that it’s time to get up and face the embarrassment of apologizing to your superior.

You exit the bedroom and are met with the hallway, right across from your room is another door which must be Jacks room because you can see an unmade bed through the gap between the door and the doorway.

Then you smell it, bacon and something sweet drifting through the air, making your stomach rumble as you realize you haven’t had a full meal in weeks.

You follow the smell as best you can, walking through the large hallway, through the even larger foyer until you are met with the view of the comfiest couch you think you’ve ever seen and just behind it is Jack, in the kitchen hover over a hot oven.

He looked great.

Even from the back.

You could see his muscles move as he stirred something in the pan, he was wearing a thin white tank top which didn’t leave much to the imagination.

While you were becoming enamored by his broad shoulders moving so enticingly slow your eyes drift down to his lower back until you realize he is wearing grey sweatpants.

Oh My God.

You come to your senses when he turns his back suddenly, looking over his shoulder to see you standing like a freaking pervert watching him cook.

He smirks and you swear your legs wobble.

“Morning,” his voice comes out groggy like he hadn’t woke up much earlier than you “you hungry?”

You nod timidly as you shuffle to the kitchen island where three chairs sat in a row, you went for the one closest to the plate of bacon all the way on the left side.

“How did you sleep?” He asks before turning back to the oven.

His back is somehow even more mesmerizing now that he has acknowledged you, almost like he’s trying to put on a show of his beautifully crafted muscles.

“Pretty good” your voice is just as rough, your throat suddenly feels dry from all the crying last night.

Before you can even ask he gently puts a glass of water in front of you, you hadn’t even seen him fill it up.

You mutter a thank you before downing half the glass and setting it back down with a deep inhale.

A few moments later a full plate of pancakes, bacon, and eggs is presented in from of you, along with another plate with two slices of bread, some jam, salt and pepper, and a glass of orange juice as if everything wasn’t enough.

“Oh, Jack you didn’t have to do all of this for me” You felt your heart grow warm, the fact he would make you a full breakfast feels like even more of an inconvenience on him than you already feel.

“Nonsense, you deserve it.” Jack leans on the counter right across from you, his own plate in front of him as he takes a big bite of egg.

You are about to dig in when you feel like now is as good a time as any to apologize.

“Jack,” you say quietly, he looks up from his plate with concern in his eyes, maybe he thinks you’re about to go into panic mode again. “I want to say I’m sorry, for last night. I was being really dramatic and I accidentally dialed your number instead of Trinity’s and then I ranted to you about things you probably don’t even care about, and then I made you pity me so bad that you felt the need to let me stay the night-“

“Sweetheart.” He says, making you physically shut your mouth and stop your rambling mid sentence. “Has there ever been a time I wasn’t there for you?”

You search your brain for even a single instance he hasn’t been there to help you through your problems.

You find none.

You shake your head.

“Has there ever been a time I’ve left you high and dry?”

You shake your head again.

“you’ve actually never left me dry” you want to say but maybe it’s best if you don’t.

“Then why would you ever feel like I want anything else then to help you?” He looks pitiful, like you even apologizing to him hurt his feelings. “And as for the thing about me pitying you so much that I let you stay the night,” his rubs his face before continuing “I offered to let you stay so many times, I want you to stay. I always want you to stay.”

The way he says it, it makes you feel like you are his most prized possession, like living without you would make him miserable.

You wish.

He is simply being kind.

“I think you might be the kindest attending I’ve ever met.” You smile warmly, you swear you see a hint of red stain the tops of his ears but it’s gone as quick as it showed.

“You’re lucky it’s not Robby you called, he probably wouldn’t panicked with you” he says jokingly before taking another large bite of egg.

—

Hours roll by and you and Jack have spent every minute together.

You’ve ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together and watched T.V. The rest of the time before starting a crossword puzzle he has yet to solve.

You’re both sat on the couch, his legs stretched to the coffee table, your legs stretched onto his lap as you snatch the puzzle from his hands with a giggle and lay across the cushions next to Jack before sticking the pencil behind your ears for when you need it next.

as you scan your eyes over the crossword, you look a little to the left of the book to find Jack is staring at you endearingly.

“What?” You say with a smile.

“Nothing,” he inhales and exhales deeply “you just look really pretty right now.”

Your smile slowly fades and you can’t seem to avert your eyes away from his Steele blue ones.

“You always look pretty.”

“So do you- or, wait no, you look- handsome, really handsome, sometimes too handsome honestl- honestly you could be a model if you wanted, not that you would have to be just cause you hot but-“

“You think I’m hot.” Jack interrupts your incessant rambling in the smuggest way that only someone like Jack Abbot could.

You’re silent for a moment before timidly nodding your head with an innocent smile.

He pulls you up to him by the arms, your faces only inches apart.

He gently traces his hand down the side of your head before gently grabbing the pencil from behind your ear.

“Good to know.” He whispers as he moves his head to your ear before stealing the crossword into his hands again and leaning back in his seat with a shit eating grin.

God, this was going to be the longest stay of your life.

—

Your week was spent along side Jack as you continently both had the week off.

It was the best week you’ve had in a long time, partly because you had a bed and food was easily accessible, but also because Jack.

He made everything easier, it was as if when he was around you didn’t even have to ask for everything, it was like he could read your mind.

You’ve never had a connection like that with another person before.

Now that the week is gone, you feel like maybe your stay has expired.

Not because Jack has said anything, but because you are desperately trying to be one less thing he has to take care of.

Your shift is almost finished when you are sitting at the nurses station finishing up your charts you think of all the things he’s done for you, and how little you’ve done for him.

The thought makes you feel awful.

You can’t shake the feeling of being a burden so you packed up your things in your car this evening before leaving, just in case it became too much and you had to get out.

All of a sudden, you hear some commotion coming from the waiting room, you leap from your chair, expecting it to be another druggy asking for a fix.

Once you get to the waiting room you see Dana trying to talk down a tall figure in front of her.

Holy. Shit.

Not only do you know the man Dana is trying to calm down, he is also the sole reason you were put in the position of being houseless.

“Daniel?” You called out about five feet from where his and Dana’s interactions taking place.

As your voice carries over to them, they both look your way, Daniel’s eyes widen as he pushes a hand through his golden hair that has now been buzzed on the sides and cut short on top, a very different look from his usual shoulder length hair.

He moves to walk to you as he tries to put his hand to your cheek but you flinch back. Not wanting his skin anywhere near yours.

“Do you know him?” Dana asks as she meets your eyes with a look that tells you if you say no he’s out of here in no time.

You glance to him for a moment before uttering “yes.” You grind your jaw in annoyance.

Of course he would show up to your work, as if he hasn’t don enough to range your life, now he’s going for the only thing that means that most to you.

You yank him by the arm outside to the ambulance bay, not wanting any of your colleagues see you potentially sock a guy in the mouth.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You cross your arms with a huff.

“I wanted to see you,” He slurs as he gives you a cocky grin which makes you want to hit him even more than you wanted to before. “Missed you.”

You laughed bitterly before dropping your arms and clenching your fists “is that so? Because if I’m correct last time you saw me you told me you never wanted to see me again.”

“Baby, you know I didn’t mean-“ he reached for your hand.

You yanked away from him “Don’t. Touch me. You lost your chance to fix things when I was living in my car for weeks.” You could feel your eyes start to burn with tears which you didn’t let fall because he of all people was not going to be the reason for your tears anymore.

His eyes reflect pity back to you.

You hate it.

You hate him.

And you hate yourself for ever getting your self in this situation.

“You need to leave.” You look away from him with a sniffle.

“No.” His eyes change, you see something flicker across his eye’s. The same look you saw right before he hit you for the first time and gave you a black eye which you had to cover up with makeup for weeks.

You feel the same fear encase you.

“Daniel. I am not going to tell you again.” You hate how pathetic you sound.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do you little whore.” Daniel steps closer, backing you up against the wall of the building behind you, trapping you between concrete and him. “Yeah, I know all about your little affair with your attending, I knew you were easy but I didn’t think you’d give it to any guy with money who looked at you. I should’ve known though, because that’s why you are. A worthless, gold digging, pathetic little bitch.” His words cut like a hot knife straight through you.

Searing and sharp.

“I bet he doesn’t even want you around. You’re probably just a pussy for him to fuck.

And you’re so dumb you can’t even notice it, he thinks you’re a burden, I know because that’s all you were to me.” His face is so close to you that you can smell alcohol on his breath, he’s been drinking.

Which isn’t shocking seeing as that’s all he did when you were together.

You move your face to the side in an attempt to put space between you but he grasps onto your throat so tight that you have a hard time breathing.

“You’re coming home with me tonight, and if you try and leave, I’ll track you down and I swear to god I’ll kill you.” Daniel uses the same excuse he used every time you argued.

It doesn’t even scare you anymore because you know he’s bluffing, but maybe he’s not this time because the way he’s grabbing your throat makes you lightheaded.

You feel a tear slide down your cheek before a you look in your peripheral to see a figure push Daniel off of you.

The force of the push making him drop his hand from your neck as you gasp for air.

Jack appears in front of you but his attention is solely on the man that he just pushed as he charged for Daniel and swings a hefty right hook to Daniel’s jaw as the blow knocks him to his feet, blood pouring immediately.

But Jack doesn’t stop there, he’s straddles Daniel, before laying punch after punch with such precision you think he may kill him.

“Jack!” You shouted, you hated Daniel but you certainly didn’t want Jack to end with a life sentence for killing someone. “Jack stop, you’ll kill him!”

It’s like he isn’t on earth, like he can’t hear anything you’re saying.

You rush over to him and the bloody pulp of a man that is under him and hold back his right arm just before he went in for another punch.

As soon as your fingers make contact with his skin he immediately pauses and his eyes are on you.

He stands abruptly, taking both sides of your face in his hands, you can faintly see the blood spots on his knuckles.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” And you nod, he’s oh so gentle as he wipes the tears from your face with both his thumbs with a look of terror and pain on his face “Your tears kill me.”

Your faces are inches apart, you think he’s about to lean into you when Dana runs out of the ambulance bay doors with a gurney, somehow she always knows when an emergency is present.

Mateo runs out right after her helping to assist the bloody face of Daniel who is definitely alive but maybe needs some stitches.

“Oh sweetie, are you okay? I never should’ve left you alone with him, I knew he was trouble”

“I’m fine I promise, just a little shaken.” You nod at her reassuringly.

You glance over to Jack who is wiping his forehead from any seat that formed while he was wailing on Daniel.

You look down at his bloody buckles, those definitely need stitches.

“Jack,” you say as you take his hands into yours “come one, let’s get you patched up.”

—

You and Jack are in an empty trauma room as you finish up his stitches, he didn’t need too many but he definitely needed bandaged.

You have both been silent since you sat him down to assess him.

He hisses when you remove the excess blood from his fingers.

“Sorry” the sound makes you instantly move your hand, he puts his hand on yours, letting you know to keep going.

“Thank you, for saving me.” You keep your eyes fixed on his injury, but you can feel his gaze piercing your face.

“You shouldn’t have gone outside with him.” Jack says gently.

“I know, I didn’t think he would do anything. He usually would just get angry, he was almost never physical.” You admit quietly.

“What do you mean, ‘almost’?” You feel his fist clench onto nothing.

You stay quiet for a moment, maybe it isn’t the best idea to tell him this wasn’t the first time Daniel put his hands on you.

“He,” you huff “had hit me before.”

“What. The. Fuck.” When you finally meet his gaze, he looks ready to kill “why didn’t you tell me.” He sounds mad at you.

“I didn’t tell anyone, it wasn’t a big deal-“

“Yes the fuck it was.”

“Jack, he was the reason I even had a place to live. If I had left him I would’ve been homeless,” you shake your head, now realizing that it happened to you anyway. “Then he kicked me out, which made it all effortless anyway.” You feel your eyes start to burn with tears.

“You could’ve come to live with me.” Jack spoke with such empathy that it made your heart squeeze.

“I never wanted to be anyone’s burden. And now I’ve become yours anyway.” A few tears escape your eyes before you quickly wipe them away.

He stood up quickly, before moving your chair so he could kneel down in front of you.

“Listen to me,” He took both sides of your face in his hands, god you loved when he did that, and gently kissed away the other tears on your face.

You felt your heart squeeze once again.

“You’re never a burden.” He says your name like it’s a prayer “I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on your one your very first shift here at this hospital, I’ve loved you every day since then, and I’ll love you everyday after this one. Ever since I saw you curled up in that supply closet, I knew I could never get tired of you. I can’t fathom the idea of my life without you in it, it physically hurts me how much I ache for you. I feel your absence in everything I do alone, in every place I go without you, you’re all I can think about every minute of every day and for years I have yearned for you, in silence. I can’t pretend anymore that you aren’t perfectly made for me. You are everything, everything.” He barely gets the last word out before you crash your lips onto him.

It’s messy, and wet from your conjoined tears, your teeth clash, you cling onto his hair like it’s your anchor.

When you pull apart you’re both breathing heavily, he leans his forehead against yours he chuckles under his breath.

“What?” You question gently.

“I’ve bee waiting so long for you to do that.” With that he pulls you in again, gently this time.

Oh, so gentle.

You feel all of his love in this kiss, you begin to realize that somewhere between your first shift and this one, you fell in love with him too.

And god, how you loved him.

You pull away, “hey,” you smile and peck his lips again “I love you too.”

His smile spreads warmth through your whole body.

And at this time, suddenly, everything feels complete.

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I was thrilled to see that everyone enjoyed the first part of lifeline! If you enjoy this one please let me know, I know it is shorter than the first part but there are more parts coming I promise,I have big plans for this fic!!

Tag list:

𖧷ᨎ𖧷ᨎ𖧷ᨎ𖧷ᨎ𖧷

Summary: trying to survive your last year of residency while your life outside the hospital slowly unravels is hard enough, but when Jack Abbot shows up, suddenly everything feels lighter

Paring: protective!attending!jack abbot / depressed!resident!reader. (jack is a big softy)

Characters: trinity santos, jack abbot, (and robby is you squint and tilt your head to the left)

Warnings: (NOT proofread!) angst, panic attacks, poverty, medical inaccuracies, patient death, power imbalance, 𝟏𝟖+ (𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈) 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭!, hurt/comfort, implied suicidal thoughts, housing insecurity. (sorry if I missed any!)

Word count: ~4k

Part 2 here!!

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Jack Abbot has been your anchor since you first stepped foot into Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center as a terrified first year resident.

After you were assigned the night shift at PTMC (or the Pitt as everyone so lovingly called it) and met Dr. Abbot, something in you settled, life if something went wrong, he would always be there.

And he was.

Three hours into your first shift, a four year old little girl came in by ambulance, barely breathing and swollen like a balloon.

The parents said she woke up in the middle of the night and got into her mom’s trail mix in their kitchen. the parents had no idea and it turned out that the little girl was allergic to nuts.

Abbot let you take this one at first, thinking it would be an easy patient, give her a dose of Epinephrine and she will be on her way.

You thought it would be an easy case.

“Push Epi” you said, your voice steadier than you felt.

Her oxygen levels didn’t recover fast enough, her pulse weakened under your fingers, her body had already gone too long without what it needed.

You felt it slipping, you felt her slipping.

“Start compressions.” Abbot said quietly.

You didn’t hesitate, pressing down, over and over, counting, begging and refusing to accept what was happening right in front of you.

You didn’t stop when your eyes went blurry and your arms burned.

You didn’t stop until Abbot put his hand on your shoulder and sighed before dropping his head defeatedly to his watch at uttering “01:35.”

You left before anyone could stop you, finding the first supply closet you could and navigating to the darkest corner before tucking your knees to your chest and letting out a few quiet sobs as you hid your face in your now tear stained light blue scrubs.

You began to wonder if you made the wrong career move, if maybe you wasted thousands of dollars on a profession you aren’t even good at.

You didn’t know how long you were in there for but you guessed no longer than five minutes when you heard the door open and noticed a shadow standing above you, you lifted your head to find Dr. Abbot staring back at you.

You expected him to have a look of pity behind his eyes but you didn’t see that, you saw a faint look of understanding.

He sat down right next to you with his legs stretched out as he rubbed his face, looking exhausted.

There is a beat of silence before you hear him say “Richard Brighten,” you wiped your eyes and quirked your eyebrows in confusion. “The first one I lost. He was eighteen years old, fresh out of high school, signed up for the military the first time he got the chance. He was shot in the chest on the field in Afghanistan.”

You both sat in silence after his confession.

“Do you remember the little girls name?” He asked as he looked at you.

Your eyes remained on the tile flooring in front of you as you sniffle, “Cassie Everett”

“Don’t forget it. Remembering the first patient you lose makes you realize there is a limit to what we can do for the people we help.” Abbot looked away from you before sighing and getting up off the floor “we win some and we lose some. But we are the only hope that these people have, just because you lost this one doesn’t mean you’re going to lose them all. You’re a good doctor, and I don’t say that to every young doctor that shows up in this place.” With that he left.

You never forgot about that moment.

Not even now while in your fourth and final year of residency as a chief resident.

Abbot has been there for you for four years.

He is there to supervise, offer guidance, and provide advice whenever you needed it.

So much so that you could go to him for whatever you needed, at work and outside of work.

Your boyfriend broke up with you about three months ago managing to kick you out of your shared apartment and leaving you with a car that barely ran.

and Jack was the first to offer his guest room, which you politely declined seeing as Santos had already offered her couch until you figured everything out.

Which brings you to now, sitting in the break room scrolling apartment listings on Google until you want to gauge your eyes out with a scalpel.

“You know my offer still stands about my guest bedroom.”

You almost jump out of your skin as you look above you to see Jack Abbot hovering over your shoulder to catch a peek of your phone screen.

“Holy shit Jack, you scare me” You laugh and he makes a sound that almost sounds like a laugh, you can feel the vibration of it where he is pressed against you and a cold chill runs down your spine.

In no way was that and odd interaction for you two, but things have been happening to your body when he is around as of late and you don’t know what to think of it.

“You can’t just sneak up on a woman with a hot cup of coffee in her hand. You might end up a burn victim.”

“You didn’t answer me” He disregards your attempt to ignore his comment.

“That’s because I already have, Santos offered me her couch and it will do just fine until I get back on my feet” You sigh before taking the last sip of your coffee.

“You shouldn’t have to settle for a couch when I have a perfectly good, fully private bedroom that you could stay in as long as you like” He remarks, “it even has a queen size bed” He adds with a smirk.

“You’re too kind,” You stand, putting your phone back in your pocket as you hand your now empty coffee cup to Jack for him to wash “I’ll think about it.” You say as you pat him on the back in passing.

“You said that last time” he calls out, you giggle while exiting the break room.

—

“So I hear someone is thinking of leaving me and my beautiful couch for a certain brooding attending.” Santos approaches you with a playful look plastered on her face.

“I’m not leaving you for Abbot and in the middle of charting can you go meddle somewhere else?” You smile.

“She’s feisty today, I guess that must be why Abbot is so down bad for you. Santos looks at her nails as she barely muttered the last part, not quiet enough to go unnoticed by you though.

“What the hell are you talking about? Jack had absolutely no interest in me.” You laugh at Eve the possibility of someone like Jack finding you the least bit attractive.

“Are you insane, the man offered an entire room in his house for you to stay in indefinitely. Not to mention you’re the only one besides Dr. Robby that he will let call him Jack.” Santos looks at you like you’re crazy.

Your mind starts to wander to the idea that Jack could have feelings for you but it quickly shut down as reality sets in.

It’s Jack fucking Abbot.

There is no way he would ever fall for a woman like you.

“No. Not possible,” you disregard Santos’ points “why are you even here?”

“Shift change. And suit yourself, but the sooner you realize you have feelings for him, the sooner we can all stop talking about the way he looks at you behind your back.”

“You’re delusional, I’ll see you later on, I’m heading to your place.”

“Sounds good Mrs. oblivious.” She gives you a tight lined teasing smile before you stand to finally head to your temporary home after another exhausting shift.

—

You were tired, you were five minutes away from falling asleep while waiting for the elevator doors at Santos apartment to open.

All you wanted to do was fall over onto the couch and take a fat nap.

As you unlocked the door you heard rummaging from inside the apartment, you started to slightly panic.

You didn’t think that santos had any company? Maybe a raccoon has gotten in somehow and was ransacking her apartment.

As you twisted the key you decided to grow a pair and brave the danger of what could be behind the door.

As you opened the door you were met with the a woman with dark hair going through what looked like a suitcase on the ground, as you zeroed in on the suitcase you were relieved to find out that it wasn’t yours.

Which made this even more odd.

“Hello?” You said precariously.

The woman sprung up, like you startled her.

“Oh! You scared me,” she said with a laugh “um, hi?”

They stood and looked at each other for a few seconds.

“Are you supposed to be here?” You asked, trying not to sound rude.

“Yes! Yes I’m Trinitys mother” she put her hand out.

Oh!

“Oh, it’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you” a lie

You shake her hand

Message to: Trin🫶🏻

Hey, your mom is here?

You and her mother look at each other for a moment before your phone dings.

Message from: Trin🫶🏻

What?!?

You excuse yourself for a moment before heading back into the hallway outside of the apartment before answering the call

“What the hell do you mean my mother is there?” Trinity sounds a little shaken.

“Well, I walked to the door and heard rustling and thought a raccoon had gotten in again or something, when I finally opened the door a woman was standing there and she told me she was your mom.” You shrug your shoulders as if Trinity can see you.

“Oh my god, she wasn’t supposed to visit until next month,” she huffs loudly before timidly saying your name “would you mind maybe staying with Dr. Abbot while I sort all of this through”

Your mind races, you absolutely will not be asking Jack if you can stay with him, eventually though he asked, you don’t like taking help from most people, especially when the help means sharing a space with your attending who you have starting feeling weird around for some reason.

You weren’t mad at Trinity of course, she was letting you stay on her couch out of the kindness of her heart.

You were close to saving the amount of money you needed to get an apartment anyway, you’d just sleep in your car, or find a hotel near work.

You would figure this out.

Without the help of your attending.

“Of course, no problem” you said warmly, making sure to keep your voice in a tone that wouldn’t make Trinity feel even worse than she probably already did.

“Thank you so much for understanding, you’re truly the best, I’ll see you at work tomorrow, bye!” With that she hung up the phone.

Looks like your car is the your home sweet home for tonight.

—

Two weeks later and Trinitys mother is still staying with her.

Apparently she had to visit earlier because she got kicked out of her apartment by her boyfriend.

Ironic that Trinity was stuck with one person with relationship problems only to end up replacing you with another.

You could tell Trinity was stressed by how she called you every night to ask how your stay at Jacks was going, (it wasn’t going, because you weren’t staying with him) only to end up ranting about how stressed her mom is making her.

You felt awful that Trinity couldn’t have her space to herself.

You also felt awful that you had taken her space from her for two months before her mother showed up.

You just felt awful all around.

And you certainly didn’t want to be a burden to anyone anymore.

Which is why you are still sleeping in your car, finding empty parking lots to stow away in at night so no one you know could see you pathetically sleeping in the only thing you solely own.

You really hated your ex right now.

Shows you not to fall for stupid hot guys you meet at bars who promise you everything and give you nothing in return.

You wished you could have someone here to hold you.

Someone here to tell you it is going to be okay.

Someone here to promise you things and actually follow through with them.

Your mind starts to wander to the other day at work when Jack put his hand on the small of your back and whispered “you’re doing great” in your ear as you stitched up a guys busted up arm which he injured during a hiking accident.

It was strictly professional, but that didn’t stop the pool of warmth from spreading right in between your legs.

Oh yeah.

That’s new too.

Jack is starting to affect the way you live your life.

You’re usually hyper independent, now you jump at the opportunity to work on a case with him in hopes he will praise your work.

Something is seriously wrong with you.

Now, here in the back seat of your car, sitting in the fetal position, at 2 AM, on the first day of your whole week off, you feel the loneliest you’ve ever felt in your life.

You sit in silence as the tears stream down your face.

Your vision is blurry and you can’t make out your phone screen as your dial the first number you see on your call log, Trinity is the last person you called and you really just need someone to talk to right now, without any feed back.

This thing you and Trinity have been doing lately is calling one another and ranting before hanging up.

When you rant, the other person doesn’t respond and just lets you get it all out, simply listening and taking it in.

The call answers and you immediately sob out a string of words you aren’t even thinking about.

“I feel like I am better off dead. Everything is bad. I am living off of barely nothing to eat because every paycheck I get is spent one keep my car running and paying my insurance and my phone bill. I wish I could just get myself out of this hole I’ve dug myself in. I am swimming in stress and depression and debt from my stupid choices I have made throughout my life. I never should’ve moved out of my parent’s house, I never should’ve gone to med school, why did I think I could pursue a career in something so impactful. I’m not a good doctor, I’ll never be like Jack or Robby. I will be living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life, living off of ramen instant noodles and washing my clothes in the same suds and soak I’ve parked my car that I’m living in and honestly even that sometimes too expensive for me because” you take a moment to let out the sob you had been holding in since you started talking, or more so rambling. “I lied to you. I’m not staying with Jack. I’m living in my car, and kinda thinking about just ending it all right now” The last part you add in for dramatic effect, you aren’t really going to end your life, but you really feel like you’re on the edge of a very steep cliff and one wrong move will be your breaking point.

You feel like you can barely breathe, there’s an overwhelming amount of pressure in your chest.

You haven’t had a panic attack since your first year of med school but you remember the feeling too well.

You sob out an uneven breath, you gasp on every inhale you take, you feel your throat closing up as you move your hands to your head in an attempt to self sooth.

You are going to die in the backseat of your beat up Honda civic, in the fetal position with your best friend on the phone probably worried to death.

“I think I’m having a panic attack” you manage to squeak out, you’re not sure what Trinity can do about it but she is usually good at calming you down.

The phone is pressed to your ear but you hear a car engine start on the other line.

“Stay where you are, I’m on my way” you hear a deep voice speak in a calming tone and you realize that’s not Trinity you just ranted your whole existence to.

You remove the phone from your ear to look at the caller ID.

Dr. J.A

Jack. Fucking. Abbot.

You just spilled all of your troubles to your fucking attending, which makes your chest feel even tighter, makes your breath feel even harder to keep up with, and it also makes you feel even more stupid than you already feel.

Of course you of all people would royally fuck up like this.

Not but five minutes later you hear your car door being thrown open, and two big arms cradling your shaking frame.

You release all of the panicked sobs you were holding in as you settle into his broad chest, the smell of his woodsy cologne acts as a reminder that you are here, and you are not dying.

“Hey, hey,” Jack takes your face in his hands, your very wet face as he shushes you calmingly “look at me, you’re safe, you’re with me.” You look at him and his eyes soften as his brows furrow, as if to see you like this physical pains him.

You hide your head to his chest as you continue to hyperventilate.

“Breath sweetheart, just breath, you can do it” he reassures “take two big breaths for me”

Your breath is still shaky and uneven as you breathe in and out, in and out, you feel him breath with you, the puffs of his breath fan your forehead, making you sob harder because of course Jack would be able to calm you down from a panic attack with just his presence and a few calming words.

After a few minutes, your breath becomes calm again, you feel at peace, like Jack being here is the only thing tethering you to the earth.

You lift your head from his chest that is now just a tear stained shirt and he gives you the warmest smile you’ve ever received in your life.

You almost feel undeserving for being the one who gets to be the reason for that smile.

You look at your rear view mirror, suddenly aware of what you must look like.

Your hair is a mess, your eyes red and puffy, snot running down your nose in the most unattractive way possible.

You look like you worst day times a million.

“Oh god,” your voice comes out scratchy as you say in disgust and reach for your car napkins behind the passenger seat in the pocket “I look awful!”

Jack laughs in a way that makes in seem preposterous that you would think that about yourself.

“You could never.” He states in a way that leaves no room for second guessing.

“You’re coming home with me tonight.” Again with the statements.

You aren’t too mad about that idea actually, maybe going home with Jack Abbot is exactly what you need.

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