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buttpoems

quoted-books

“…and sometimes when he watched her - searching for something in her bag, or peeling an apple with her knuckle guiding the blade - he felt a shiver of panic that he’d almost not met her.”

— Mary Beth Keane, Ask Again, Yes

#*#me about my husband

thesorrovv

ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

#*#its my due date today!#youre welcome anytime little buddy

ungarmax

me, dumping a load of freshly washed but unfolded laundry on my bed: boy i’m sure gonna be pissed about this when i want to go to bed

#*#actually me

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sevvalistan

#*

bpdpoc

I’m a social vampire u gotta invite me into ur conversation or I cannot enter

#*

extrafabulouscomics

#*

howidiotic-deactivated20181105

no beans. also hammers cost $500 if u want one

#*

thebootydiaries

me after 15 seconds of work: i just cant do this anymore

#*

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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beefandcorn

are you worried

About what? But yeah

#*

jodiefoster

i'm what the kids call

really exhausted. I’m so tired.

#*

roachswallower

a zebra is just a horse that thinks it’s special

snakecats-deactivated20151123

#this kills me #every time #*

iguanamouth

please do a comic of that xmas tree tweet. i beg you iguanamouth

hhhah ahahhahah

#haha #*

slimetony

don’t even get me started

60670577550780-deactivated20170

Okay

slimetony

thanks

#*

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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itquiet-deactivated20240530

#*

anxiety: beware

me: ?? can u be more specific

anxiety: :)

#*

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your focus determines your reality